Have you ever felt like your face was coated with texcote paint? Have you ever been told that with a face like yours, your family would have one less thing to spend money on since your face can be used as a grater for okra, salad etc. Have you ever felt as if every human and stray dog on the street is staring at the bumps on your face? Have you ever waited behind after church service so the deliverance minister can cast out the demons lodged on your face? Have you? No?

How nice.

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These are some of the shit acne sufferers go through every day while all you clear faced people breeze through life.

1. Always told to stop eating all the food that give you a reason to live because they all contain an acne causing component. So you eat this for the rest of your life.

tnc_acnthg_002No GMO, oil, sugar, red meat, soda!

2. There’s always that one white chic, who has had just two pimples in more than two decades who says if you rub yam and some other bullshit on your pimple, it will dry up. So you proceed to empty every damn food in the kitchen on your face

tnc_acnthg_003Once I wash this avocado off, FLAWLESS

3. When people constantly say you don’t drink enough water

tnc_acnthg_004Shey this water is enough?

4. People constantly telling you that the reason why you have acne is because you don’t wash your face regularly or your blood is contaminated.

tnc_acnthg_005Your entire family’s blood will dry up. Animal.

5. People nagging you not to touch your face. Is it your face?

tnc_acnthg_006Is it your consign?

6. People telling you your acne should have cleared at a particular age and then they go on to tell you how weird it is that you still have it.

tnc_acnthg_007Village people have caught me o.

7. At the risk of not being captured and used as a scarecrow in nearby farms, you slap your face with brown powder till you are crowned King Midas II thinking you look like this…

tnc_acnthg_008Flawless!

8. But actually this is what your face looks like

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9. Some minutes later, even after priming your entire face to keep the oil at bay, this is what happens.

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10. When a random person at church or an event passes you a note telling you to wash your face with ndeuefhfeefn soap, tone with djufgudsghqwksdjdjn and moisturise with your pee.

tnc_acnthg_011Eez nor showing on your face but you are sick inside your body.

11. You finally find the magic solution to your pimples and when people ask you what ya using you say…

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12. When the pimples resume for a new semester a day after your prescription finishes:

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13. When you see someone who had more pimples than you with a clear face.

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14. Then you walk up to the person like…

tnc_acnthg_015How manage?

15. When someone with the perfect skin cries like a banshee because a teeny weeny pimple appeared on her face

tnc_acnthg_016Is like ya a bastard abi?

16. When ‘sympathisers’ ask you if you have used countless drugs, ointments, serums, toners, cleansers and you smile because this is what your dresser looks like.

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17. When you see people with incredibly clear and flawless skin and you begin to wonder why bad things happen to good people.

tnc_acnthg_018I pay my tithe and I help the needy. Why me Lord?

18. But after a while you realise that your skin might never be perfect but you are still drop dead gorg!

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Acne can be managed! I have learned to manage mine, reduce blemishes to a minimum by actually adopting a healthy life style and sticking to 95% natural skin care regimen that works and is affordable too! If you want in on this secret, hit me up at [email protected]

Responses

  1. Cavey
    😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂
    Ho my gawd! Debloww just made me weekend! And here I thought you were going to see out your writing career interviewing people! Thank you for this!!!
    PS: to all those in the AcneRUs group, the lord is your strength!
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  2. Soph
    Lmaoo. Thank you Debloww for giving us something to laugh about in these difficult times. I suffer from acne too it comes and goes. The worse advice I ever listened to was use sperm on my face,but it helped sha. *covers face*
    2+
    1. Debloww Post author
      Lmaooo. It worked???? Gotta hola bae. We have to re-evaluate our relationship. Worst advice I got was from a ‘dermatologist’ in a fancy office. she told me to use my early morning pee to ‘cleanse and tone’

      The woman is dead now.

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  3. Ian
    The accompanying pictures —> priceless!!! still laughing in remembrance. A veli veli apt description of #pimplegang wahala. Thanks for the weekend boost! More grease to your elbows and less pimples to yar face!
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  4. Terdoo
    I can relate to this post so much! Lol!! Thank God mine have even calmed down.

    I hated when someone will tell me I’m not drinking enough water. Is your left eye a bastard? It’s until I’ve drunk and peed out two cisterns abi?

    Nah. Your left eye is a bastard. Legit.

    [This comment stems from 2 decades of pent up frustration. Bear with me]

    Debola, this post was hilarious. Thank you.

    3+
  5. zelda
    Very apt post. Even been approached in the market by these fulani women to buy stuff to clear my face. I can so relate to all of these especially the makeup part and then the face drips oil like you never used nothing. Hmmmmm….It is well…
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  6. Drizzle
    I was in this situation last year. It was so terrible that whenever my friends & i hung out, i assumed the role of a photographer, taking ’em all the shots cos they knew i would not even phatom to take a pic…My face was that bad. At my work place where i was serving some folks who didn’t know my name referred to me as “that tall corper with pimples” Smh…Terrible times ma G!
    But I’m good now… Everything fresh and clean 😀
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      1. Drizzle
        Some antibiotics were prescribed & also theres this acne cream I used called Neo-medrol. It really worked for me, in less than a month my face was normal. Then I finally did a face peel.

        Posted from TNC Mobile

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