Adelaide’s Sin


He pulls my head down and kisses me pushing off his pants. I watch his face when pleasure takes him, I watch his face as he pushes into me. The same way I watched him beat me, beat me while I begged for the life of our child. His boss had insulted him and I was the scape goat, me and my unborn child.


Text size

December 23rd 2015


He loves me, I tell myself wincing as I try concealing my purple eye with make-up.

‘You walked into a wall again?’ my boss asked me yesterday. I told him I did without meeting his eyes. He put his hands on my shoulder with a look of pity and told me to be more careful. I smiled and nodded ignoring the other stares from my colleagues.

I found Sidikat with my eyes and went towards her desk. She stared at me leaving nothing to the open, I ignored her and set my bag down on the seat beside her.

‘Adelaide, what happened?’ she asked. I shrugged pulling out my lunch bag ‘Pana had a bad day like the other days. I made him angry, it’s my fault’

I looked away as her eyes darkened ‘I promise you Ade, I would not attend your funeral.’ I winced at her statement and watched her walk away.

I pull out my red dress from my wardrobe replaying my friend’s words in my head. Pana can’t kill me, he loves me. I open my dresser and pick out the red box, the most recent gift from my husband on a bad day. I pull out the shiny piece of jewellery and place on my neck, the lights reflecting on the stones in the mirror I smile.

I jump as I hear the door slam downstairs, I run to my bedroom door and push my ears to the door ‘Baby!’ He screams, tears form in my eyes as I pull off the neck lace he got me. I place it on my dresser ‘Pana’.

I hear angry footsteps down the hall and open the door, ‘Babe, what…’ a cold hand hits my face. I grab my cheek ignoring the taste of blood in my mouth. I smell the alcohol from his breath and blink back the tears in my eyes. He doesn’t like me crying.

‘I told you to be ready by 6. Your incompetence and nonchalant attitude is becoming intolerable.’ He yells, still holding my cheek I meet his eyes

‘I’ve been ready Pana, your text told me to wait here for you, I’ve been waiting…’ he grabs my neck and hits me again, this time on my stomach, I wince trying to pull out his hands, struggling to breathe.

‘So I’m lying now Ade, now you call your husband a liar?’ I shake my head grasping for air pulling at his hand, the foul smell of stale liquor immersing me as darkness starts to form behind my eyes ‘Ple…Pan’ I struggle to form words while his words drown in my pain. Losing feeling in my hands I watch Pana’s face become smaller as the darkness spreads.


I jump grabbing my neck, looking round the room I see the lights dimmed. My red dress on the chair by the dresser, I pull on my silk night dress and push off my bed to the bath room. My swollen neck bruising to compliment my purple eyes, I pull up my dress wincing as I count the purple bruises forming on my body.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and make my way down the stairs to the sitting room and I hear Pana snores drowning the sounds of the news on television. I make my way to the kitchen, I pull out a glass from the shelf and freeze, I turn around and Pana is staring at me in his pyjamas.

‘I’m sorry I woke you.’ I whisper

He frowns walking towards me, I step back but he grabs my waist and kneels hugging my thighs ‘I’m so sorry Babe, I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave me.’

I blink back tears ‘You said that yesterday Pana’ I whisper

‘Things were harsh today, a lot happened today and I lost it. I’m sorry I promise it won’t happen again. Adelaide, you know me. You know it was never like this. I don’t know what’s wrong, I would seek help I promise. Please help me Ade, I love you. I don’t want to lose you.’

I hold back my sobs and let the tears form ‘I love you too Pana but I can’t keep doing this.’ He grabs my legs and starts placing kisses on my thighs.’

‘I promise Adelaide, I promise you like I did on our wedding day. I would seek help, I would take care of you.’ He places kisses up my dress, his hands finding their way in between my legs. ‘Pana Stop it.’ I whisper

He stands and pulls me to him, his hands pulling my head to face his, ‘Let me love you Ade’ I see the man I fell in love with, his eyes pleading to me. I see my best friend and I pull him to me, his mouth hitting mine.

I wrap my hands around him as his hands lift me to the counter, he presses into me unbuttoning my dress. The cold air from the air conditioner hits me and goose bumps form perking my nipples. He gasps and lowers his lips biting on them. I cry out as his fingers enter me. I pull off his shirt and wince when he kisses me. ‘Did I hurt you?’ he asks I shake my head and point to my bruise’ He frowns placing a kiss on my eye, then my nose ‘I’m so sorry baby’ he pulls me closer and lifts me finding his way to our room.

February 15th 2016


I pull out the chicken from the oven and set it on the dining table with Pana’s favourite dish. I pull off my apron and watch his car pull into the drive way from the kitchen window! I smile and find my way to the lounge.

The door opens and slams shut, and I jump. ‘No’ I whisper, I stand and run to the stairs. ‘Adelaide’ he yells, I rush upstairs to the master bedroom and lock myself in the bathroom. I hear his footsteps coming up the stairs and I push myself into the corner of the bathroom. I hear the room door slam open as a tear drop falls. I call Sidikat on my phone and she picks up on first ring. Pana starts banging on the door.


‘Sidi, help me. I don’t know why he is angry. Sidi I’m pregnant.’ I cry.

‘Where are you? Stay where you are I’m coming Laide’ she asks.

‘I locked myself in my bathroom’ I scream dropping my phone when the first hinge gives way.

‘Pana, please! You promised me Pana.’ I begged in between sobs

‘How can you lock me out of a room in my own house!?’ he yells banging on the door.

I keep screaming as the door budges.

February 25th 2016


‘Babe?’ I look at Pana’s hands on my own and smile turning my gaze out the window.

10 days in the hospital with a concussion, a missing tooth, a dislocated arm and a miscarriage. Sidi and her husband got to me, they saw my husband trying to get me to the car after he realised I was bleeding out. They took me to the hospital and he had them thrown out for making terrible accusations against him. He told the doctor I was in a car accident and made sure my parents believed it too.

He’s been the nicest he has ever been since I woke up, got me flowers, jewellery shoes and talks about anything and everything.

He pulls up into our drive way and helps me out of the car into the house, ‘Are you hungry babe?’ he asked

‘Tea would be fine’ I reply and make my way up the stairs to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and pull off my hospital clothes ignoring the smell of stale blood, the blood of me and my baby. Pana knocks on the door and mentions the tea being ready, I nod and let the water fall over me.


I wash up the tea cup and make my way to our room.

‘Are you okay?’ he asks, I smile and nod my head. I dim the lights and remove my robe shivering from the cold air. I meet his eyes and watch him as I take off my night dress and drop it to the floor exposing my bruised skin, I walk to the bed pull off the duvet and push myself closer to him ‘Ade..,’ I ignore him and push my hands up his chest pulling off his t shirt. I push my hands lower and feel him getting hard for me. He pulls me on top of him and looks me in the eye ‘Are you okay?’ he asks.

‘I want you, Pana.’ I whisper.

He pulls my head down and kisses me pushing off his pants. I watch his face when pleasure takes him, I watch his face as he pushes into me. The same way I watched him beat me, beat me while I begged for the life of our child. His boss had insulted him and I was the scape goat, me and my unborn child.

I push my hands to his hair watching him get closer, I push my hand under my pillow and pull out the kitchen knife I put there earlier. I listen to his words, to his breathing, while i watch his eyes, as I ride him; waiting for him to look at me.

‘Baby!’ he growls and climaxes, he opens his eyes and screams as the knife goes into his chest, I don’t stop neither do i feel the slaps and punches he sends my way. The blood splashes all over me as I press deeper into him twisting the knife before hitting him again and again watching his face, watching his eyes as his breathing slows, as life leaves him.

I let the knife fall and pull myself off him, I place a kiss on his forehead and pick up my phone on the dresser. I dial Sidi, she picks up at second ring.

‘Laide are you okay?’ She panics.

‘He’s dead’. I whisper

‘Laide, what did you do?’ she whispers

‘He killed my baby. I killed him.’

‘Stay where you are, don’t touch anything. We are on our way.’


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *