Bae, Your Cousin Is My Ex

Opinion

I am hallucinating this blue Monday, thinking about all the evil I have done in this world. I could not help but think of an awkward situation where I had gone to a funeral and my boyfriend wanted to go with me since he knew the friend I was supporting. We embarked on this journey…

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I am hallucinating this blue Monday, thinking about all the evil I have done in this world. I could not help but think of an awkward situation where I had gone to a funeral and my boyfriend wanted to go with me since he knew the friend I was supporting. We embarked on this journey together, it was fun. When we got to my friend’s home, we went our different ways since I had to help with chores and whatever they needed done on site.

We met up in the morning in the graveyard and planned to leave immediately after. On our way out, he was greeted by someone I did not pay attention to as I was also chatting on the side but when he said “I heard you came here with our sister-in-law.” I lifted my head, lo and behold. At that time, my boyfriend was smiling and looked me in the eye to greet. I smiled back and greeted “this stranger I have not seen before” and giggled. He introduced him “this is my cousin…” and gave me the family history that I could not even memorize as my mind was somewhere under the car seat or cubbyhole. We said nothing more to each other than just greet and pretend it was “nice” seeing each other.

On our journey back, I did not ask any further questions and I avoided the topic at all cost. I could not bring myself to say “actually I know your cousin very well, he is my ex.” Just imagine his shock, anger, him wanting some space or even questioning me. You know how some confessions go. He either thinks nothing of it or it becomes an issue. He will try to get information on why we broke up, how and if I had feelings for the cousin. There was really no way I was telling.

On the other hand, they say it is better to divulge all the information at the start rather than have your partner discover from other people. Well, I do not talk about my exes because it is none of his business. Him being cousins with my ex still does not change the fact that I do not discuss my past. Can he just remain buried in my past and not resurface now? I imagine cases where we happen to bump into each other at family functions and talk, what will go on in his mind? He might be thinking we are catching up and talking about old days.

While still on that thought, I cannot help wondering what will happen if the news slips out? How is he going to take me? Will he think I did it purposely and not even want to hear my justification?

Is it worth a confession or a confession will ruin it?

Responses

  1. LOST
    Tell him about you two, and be detailed about it. The truth hurt, but it will pass. Having him find out from the cousin will hurt more. Trust me, the cousin will surely tell him about you. Just do him the favour and let him make up his mind on your relationship.
    Anyway, what do I know, since I’m still LOST!
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  2. uzoro2
    better hurt with me with the truth then comfort me with lies. tell him and if he’s mature he will see nothing bad in it after all you guys are done and dusted.. unless you are still crushing on your ex factor
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    1. LOST
      Dear Uche,
      Ex or Random Fling, there could be need for her to open up. I will state one personal experience to back this up; When I was in school, I was asking this babe out. She kinda liked me but was scared of dating me for some funny/weird/sensible reasons. However, she asked we remained friends for sometimes. Eventually, we got really close and out of nowhere, she asked about a lady she was told I dated like over a year before then. I did not know what she was already told, but I told her everything that went wrong and I took the blames for the relationship failure. You won’t believe that won it for me as she told me I even went far beyond what she was told.
      The bottom line here is that truthfulness is really important in one’s dealing. I grew up to believe what would be would be, come what may.

      I’m still LOST!

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  3. Olayinka
    I’m not sure this is the kind of thing you want to keep tucked in the past folder. If it was me, I’ll as soon as possible tell him o. It is to forestall any future trouble. If it gets out any other way which it is likely to, it may dent your relationship with your man. I don’t expect a man who loves you to take the news badly. I mean haven’t we all dated somebody’s cousins and sisters and brothers and what not?
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  4. Larz
    Only you can determine how much to divulge but you definitely need to tell him you used to date his cousin. No need to divulge the details of your rship with his cousin but he has a right to know
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  5. Ramatu
    What kind of guy are you dating that this is so big an issue? Furthermore, how have you presented yourself to this guy that makes you so nervous talking about this? The answers to these questions may tell a lot.
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