woman thinking man

Body Count 101: Lesson 2 – Women Know Best

I have had quite a series of sexual adventures in my young life and I’ve been sharing some of my lessons with you guys. If you missed the first two posts, click here and here. All caught up with the series? Let’s get into today’s lesson.

I demand a high level of sexual entertainment from anyone that I am ‘with’. Based on this standard, from time to time, humans with penises attached to their nether regions tend to disappoint. This brings me to today’s topic. To illustrate, I’m going to tell you about the woman who knows how to make my toes curl just by nibbling at my bottom lip. Her name is Sim Simma.

Case 1 & Only: Sim Simma

I met Sim Simma in my third year in university. She was the most socially awkward female I had seen in a while who actually stood out for me. I was curious about her so I decided to befriend her obviously straight roommate just for a chance to get to know her.

After a few weeks getting to know her roommate, I got invited over and I was super excited. I waited for an hour into our girls gist before asking her roomie about her; she said Sim Simma was asleep. I was disappointed because it was her I really wanted to see. It got really late so her roomie suggested I sleep over. I got into the room and Sim Simma woke up when she heard her roomie and I chatting away. The covers slipped off her neckline and I caught a glimpse of her well rounded right breast. It. Was. Beautiful. PAUSE! Till date, I keep telling her that the night I saw her boob, I knew I was going to be in love with her forever.

I started to sleep over at her place more frequently; she had a bigger bed than her roomie did so I always slept in her bed (I’m obviously typing this with a wide ass smile). Things picked up a notch on a blessed Tuesday night when she decided to spoon me. We had been flirting somewhat innocently then we stayed up a couple of nights to really talk and get to know each other. That night, we eventually ended up in each others arms.

There was this guy in her class who had a crush on her and she might have had a thing for him too. I hated it but I was trying to be the supportive friend who low-key wanted to kiss the valley between her two perfect breasts. One night, she called me up to come over and I heard it in her voice: something was wrong. I headed to hers. She told me that she and the guy had tried to make out and it was a disaster. She told me about how she thought she could be interested in both guys and girls but that she felt jack shit when he touched her. So she touched my face and my hands, she took of my glasses, stared at me for a while and then took off hers and she brought her lips to mine. It wasn’t my first time being with a girl but I felt things with Sim Simma. Her lips wondered to my ear lobes, then my neck, then my shoulder and then her hand slipped underneath my skirt…

Fast forward to a year later, we were at her mom’s house where I had slept over, this b*tch really decided to ruin my morning by waking me up at almost 9am to tell me that she was relocating to another CONTINENT. I said, “B*TCH WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU MEAN???”. How could she have been planning to leave and only tell me at the last minute? I didn’t even understand what the f*ck she was saying.

She had nine days till she had to leave so I decided that I was going to f*ck as many times everyday until she had to walk into the departure lounge and wave goodbye to me. After giving her the silent treatment for almost the entire day, I eventually started small talk and our nine days of the best sexy time of my life began.

The thing about sex with women is, women know what women love because we have the same bodies. I love breasts, I really do and I got to enjoy hers and vice versa. Unlike with men, the pleasure isn’t as reciprocal… I’m not even sure I am explaining it well. Yes, some men loved to have their nipples licked and nibbled on but boobs…. Boobs are a whole new experience. Also being female, we both understand the IMPORTANCE of the clitoris, because let’s face it – often, clitorral stimulations >>> penetration. I don’t even think I put enough ‘greater than’ symbols. I think women are better at oral sex as well. Yes, I said it.

On her final night, she gifted me a ‘rabbit’ in HER favorite colour so that every time I had an orgasm, I would think of her. I opened up the box and asked her to use it on me. AH! It was an experience that blew my mind’s back out. I like dick, especially when the person it’s attached to knows how to wield it excellently but having Sim Simma watch me as I moaned and groaned and jerked and scratched as she increased and decreased the speed and level of vibration of the rabbit… Nothing beats that experience for me.

Having been with other women before and after her, Sim Simma really did have the keys to my Beemer. She owns my body, from head to clit. She is a strong 10/10.



This post pretty much speaks for itself. Who has the keys to your Beemer? Is it locked with no hope of access? Or have you thrown away the key? Perhaps you identify with the Sim Simma character – sexy, skilled and mysterious? We’ll leave the rest to you guys in the comments section.

  • Toby

    Wow……..literally no words (fans self and bows while applauding the creative genius that is you)

    June 23, 2017
  • thetoolsman

    Sim Simma really did have the keys to my Beemer.

    The End.

    June 23, 2017
  • Olushola

    *swallows saliva*

    June 23, 2017
  • Lucy

    Nobody has the keys to my Beemer. Yet.

    This write-up is giving me serious fever. *goes back to read it one more time*

    June 23, 2017
    • Jude

      Am sure you’ve not given sex more time as our dear s has given.. When you do, you shall find he/she that’s got the keys

      June 23, 2017
  • Vallie

    I swear I didn’t pee a little. It’s just supposed to be like that down there. Yes.

    June 24, 2017
  • spacyzuma

    I’d like to think I have the keys to someone’s Beemer, but I’m not certain. 🙂
    I hope you and Sim Simma still send nudes, sexchat and hopefully have videocall sex?

    July 22, 2017
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