“Ugh” In two motions, I spit out and crumble the half smoked blunt. This shit is bitter as fuck. As much as I like the damaging stuff, I hate bitter tasting stuff more. Dear God, now I’m laughing at myself. It’s amazing how deep depressed humor can run. The TV cackles with life and I…
Will it ever stop raining? I wondered. I was cold, oh so cold; the rain slowly seeping into the pores of my skin creating weariness from my quick fading high. There were only two options. The latter, not very pleasing, but if I was to take my recovery seriously, I had to go with the…
Two weeks since I last saw her. Maybe she’s stalling again. Two weeks since the…episode. Dr. Ladipo? Are you there? Dare Ladipo shifted his focus from his notepad to his newest couple in therapy. Ever since his award, he had received an influx of young Nigerian couples seeking to better their marriage before things got…
For the first time in years, I’ve gone five days without entering some meth-induced trance. It’s beginning to show, but I’m determined to stay clean till my next meeting with Dare. Yes, I’m calling him Dare now. I’m his dirty little secret so I might as well take all the simple perks that come with…
The pain is brief and searing. Drip drip drip drip… Pit patter pit patter… I open my eyes and look at my newly lacerated fingers. Pain is supposed to be an aphrodisiac of sorts, but for me it’s just plain old pain. But I have to tolerate it, for my pain isn’t for pleasure of…
She came back. Two days after he had driven in frenzy all around Lekki imagining the worst. Had she gone back to David? Did she overdose? Cut herself and bleed to death? He had gotten little sleep and his leave had started to seem worthless. He had begun thinking of resuming work when she appeared…
She walked in wearing his t-shirt over leggings, greeted him with a cheery good morning and proceeded straight to drop his shirt on one of the chairs. She got some juice from the fridge and started heading back into her room. Then she stopped. “Oh and by the way, last night was fun. I knew…
Fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! I’m in pain. I’m in so much pain. Everything’s red. The walls of the room are a deep bloody red that seems to be bleeding. Everything around me is oozing blood. I can’t breathe, I can only scream. Scream and hope this will soon leave. It is so painful. I…
I hate recovery…ugh!!! Ever since my detox, Dare has been nothing short of irritatingly formal. Feeding me on a strict meal plan, monitoring my activities, taking down rolls of stuffy notes in our sessions. He has become everything I hate; an authority figure. He’s even taken away my music privileges. Every session, I have to…
I’m laughing. What would daddy say? His precious baby all snuggled up against a man he would consider in every respect a man…well except for a career choice. It’s going to be a good day today; I can feel it – literally. Dare looks so serious in his sleep. Even when half conscious and spooning…
You know how people are supposed to be all happy and glowy-esque and super cheesy and so on when they apparently fall in love or in my case try to get over my object of drug ridden lust by pretending to like someone else? Yeah you get the point. Because as much as I hate…
The weather is horrible. The kind where it’s so hot, the air doesn’t move. The dog keeps bugging me, expecting a belly rub. FAREEDA!!! Mummy again…. listing chores like she was allotting zeros to a million naira cheque. “Wash the plates, feed the dog, put fuel in the generator, turn it on after 10…
“Every single thing changes, nothing stays the same, nobody is perfect, but everyone’s to blame” – Andrew Belle-In My Veins *** The soft pinch of the needle as the doctor injects my last dose of whateveritis into my fragile system. One more tiny prick. One last shot and I’m out. Free to do as…
