The Crime of Womanhood in Nigeria

I am going to start this article with a bold claim: being born a woman in Nigeria is a grave crime; therefore, every Nigerian woman is considered and treated like a criminal. The first crime the Nigerian woman commits is to be born in the first place and society never lets her forget that. As…

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I am going to start this article with a bold claim: being born a woman in Nigeria is a grave crime; therefore, every Nigerian woman is considered and treated like a criminal. The first crime the Nigerian woman commits is to be born in the first place and society never lets her forget that. As a result, Nigerian women are faced with multitudes of micro and macro aggressions that they must navigate on a daily basis. From cradle to the grave, her life is one of immense pain with few bursts of happiness in between. Women walk around with battered bodies and traumatized spirits hoping to find succor, but the only escape happens in death. Sometimes, even in death, they are not free because their punishments continue.

The first crime a Nigerian woman commits is daring to posses a vagina as she announces her presence to the world with her cries while exiting her mother’s birth canal. Perceptive people may realize that the baby’s wails may more accurately be described as dread at the thought of what awaits her in Nigeria. The punishment begins when the doctor announces, “It’s a girl.” The severity of her crime and punishment is dependent on what position she occupies in the birthing order. If she is first, heads are shaken in despair at the audacity of her crime. The crime here is twofold: usurping the place of the rightful male heir and not securing her mother’s place more firmly in “her husband’s house” by coming out with a penis. Sometimes, people do not mind the girl-child as first because she is in the best position to be maid, cook, laundromat, etc. for her forthcoming younger brothers. Now, if she is, say, fifth in a long line of girl-children, then her crime is even worse because she has dashed her parents’ hopes to the ground. In  these cases, the mother may refuse to hold or breastfeed her because she cannot bring herself to behold the face of her enemy or nourish the thing that has more firmly condemned her to intense ridicule. The father may call the hospital with one question: “what is the sex of the baby?” When the answer is not satisfactory, he will not darken the hospital doorstep with his presence. Hospital bills? Mother’s welfare? Child’s welfare? Not his business; he does not waste money on girl children. This issue is so pervasive in our society that no one blinks when a woman has four sons, but if she has four daughters, everyone regards her with pity, seeing as she only has criminals for children. In many parts of Igbo land, a cow or goat is killed for a woman who has three sons in succession, but not even a lizard is killed for the woman who has three daughters in succession.

The next crime the Nigerian woman commits is growing up and trying to determine her own life or explore her sexuality. This is one of the most heinous crimes a woman can commit: exploring and owning her sexuality. It is bad enough that she has committed the crime of owning a vagina, but pouring sand into society’s eyes by claiming ownership of that vagina is sacrilege for which she must be punished. That is why names like whore, slut, damaged goods, used tire, etc are reserved for her while names like THE man, alpha male, champ, guy man, master key, etc are reserved for guys who engage in similar kind of behavior.  For the crime of owning a vagina, her punishment is to keep it intact for her future husband (a guy she has never met and who may be living his life to the fullest wherever he is). If she mistakenly compounds the crime of exploring her sexuality by giving birth out of wedlock, she is written off by society: no husband in her future. Wait, I take that back. She has a husband in her future; a very specific kind of husband (the rejects of society): an already married childless man, the local village efulefu that spends his days smoking igbo and drinking akpuru achia, the dead son that failed to give his family heirs before dying, and all other riffraffs you can imagine. You see, a criminal guilty of the crime of, gasp, sex and having a child outside wedlock does not deserve “tear rubber” husband.

While we are on the subject of husbands, a Nigerian woman’s other crime is not marrying when society has decided she is “ripe” to be plucked. She cannot come and be disgracing her ancestors. Society starts reminding her of her approaching criminal status in her mid-twenties and once she clocks thirty without that coveted ring on her fourth finger, all hell break loose and the punishment is always swift and severe. If she reprimands her secretary, Emeka, for improper behaviour, he will snidely comment that she is frustrated as a result of her lack of husband and is taking it out on him. If she gently asks her junior colleague Ngozi to go back and re-do shoddy work, she will exclaim that because boss-madam does not have a husband and children to fend for, she has no idea how much effort it takes to do the required work. In fact, she may be accused of trying to break Ngozi’s home by giving her too much work all because of jealousy. One of the most grievous criminal offenses for a Nigerian woman is to remain unmarried past the age of thirty because then, everyone will regard her with a mixture of pity and disappointment. Insinuations will fly left, right, and center: “are the gods punishing her for previous crimes? Has she finished sleeping with other women’s husbands and is now finding it hard to find a husband herself? Did she trade marriage for her success in her career? On and on it goes.” However, no one blinks an eyelid when the situation is reversed and it is a thirty years old man that is unmarried.

If providence is kind and a woman escapes the unmarried-by-thirty crime, the next deadly crime is not bearing children: this is one of her primary roles and any deficit in this department is solely her fault. When a woman gets married, but she and her husband are not proficient in producing children immediately, everyone looking will automatically assume that it is the woman’s fault. Nine months after the wedding, people are already watching for the woman to be waddling about with a very pregnant belly or to be invited to the naming ceremony of the newborn child. When this fails to occur, the woman automatically becomes a criminal and, again, insinuations begin to fly: “did she damage her womb while getting abortions in her single days? Is her spirit husband refusing to let her have children?” Rarely do people assume that the problem is with the man. Even if the woman manages to escape this crime and gets pregnant early on, she is not out of the woods yet: the results of those pregnancies must not be just girls. In this criminal act, not even science can be used to vindicate the woman. No one cares that the woman’s chromosomes are fixed and it is only the man that determines the sex of the children. No, women must be punished for this crime and with that, we come full circle to the first crime a Nigerian woman is guilty of: being born a woman.

Furthermore, tragedy does not absolve Nigerian woman of her criminal status because if she is widowed before society deems it okay, she is punished severely for it. To prove that she is innocent of any perceived crime, she will be forced to undergo several dehumanizing trials to show that she did not kill her husband. She will be asked to sleep with the dead husband’s corpse, drink the water that was used to bathe the corpse, shave her hair (possibly with a blunt instrument so as to inflict maximum pain and injury), wear black for months, and perform a public cry. This is all done in a bid to show that she is innocent of killing her husband in order to enjoy his wealth. The man may only have a pot to piss in and the wealth may have been accumulated through the woman’s effort and hard labour, but nobody cares about that. On the other hand, a man is not expected to do all these in order to prove his innocence if he is widowed. A wife’s death is a tragedy while a husband’s death is a crime.

If the woman manages to convince society of her innocence, but dares to smile in the general vicinity of another man after the death of her husband, she becomes guilty of yet another crime. At the death of her husband, a woman is supposed to become an “eunuch (or whatever the female version of eunuch is),” not employing her vagina for much. If she commits the crime of breaking this mold, people will look at her with derision and conclude that she killed her husband in order to carry on with her lover. At this point, the man’s people will come to wrestle their son’s property from the greedy, immoral widow. The fact that she worked with her husband to acquire those properties becomes null and void because she has just admitted to her guilt of killing her husband by daring to move on with her life years after his death. However, a widower is asked to move on as quickly as possible. You know, it is not good for a man to be alone.

Looking at all these crimes that women are already guilty of before they are born, some people may conclude that there is no way to get out of any of it. THAT IS WRONG. There is a way to be born free; there is always a way. We must reject the narrative of martyrdom. Martyrs do not kill themselves; they are killed by the evil forces working against them. Something I read on Bassey Ikpi’s Twitter has always stuck with me: “Joan of Arc did not set herself on fire.” Women must refuse to martyr themselves for a society that is hellbent on subjugating them. When girl-children come into the world, no matter what position they occupy, we must enthusiastically herald their arrival. Young women must stop martyring themselves on the altar of marriage by refusing to marry before they feel they are ready no matter their age. Young ladies should be encouraged to explore their sexuality and not martyr their journey of self-discovery for a man somewhere in their future. Widows should not martyr their lives on their husbands’ grave. Their lives must go on.

WOMEN MUST BE ENCOURAGED TO LIVE THEIR FULLEST LIVES, FULL OF VORACIOUS APPETITES, HEARTY LAUGHS, AND VIVID COLORS. OUR EXISTENCE IS NOT A CRIME.

Responses

  1. R-truth
    Nigerian Women and their relentless whining…. This whole self-entitled thing is getting stale. One thing i’ve noticed in any struggle is that the longer it takes, the greater people lose sense of focus.
  2. Onyinye
    Oh wow! What a beautiful write-up. I must admit when I saw the title I thought just like R-Truth up there – this is another of those women whining articles but after reading I am convinced it is not. It reminded me of all that women are subjected to at different stages in their lives. It reminded me that though we have made some progress in the fight for women, there is still more to be done especially in the not so urban places and with the not so literate communities. Thank you for this Kambili 🙂

    A truly good read.

  3. Bkd
    Although I’d say that I’ve had it with all these self acclaimed feminist rantings, I found this one quite refreshing. I like how’s she puts the onus on the woman to take up her own fight by consciously defying all the stereotypes. I hope all the other feminists out there take a cue from you.
    I like this: “eunuch (or whatever the female version of eunuch is),” . .. can anyone help us with this please? I’m dying to know.
    I really enjoyed this.
  4. Wole
    Stop roping yourself in baseless tortous logic. Go back, read your first and second paragraph again, were you refering to women in thirteenth century India or women in present day Nigeria? You are dragging humanity and civilisation backwards with this kind of write-up.

    “From cradle to the grave, her life is one of immense pain with few bursts of happiness in between”.
    “Women walk around with battered bodies and traumatized spirits hoping to find succor, but the only escape happens in death.”

    Are you for real?
    “Been a woman in Nigeria is a great crime”

    Are you selling fiction or you are narrating the general life of every woman out there? I prefer you to be specific and say you are addressing barbaric cultures that still permeates some very interior parts of our land. You just don’t bunch up the totality of womanhood in such myopic terms.
    I believe you are just trying to amuse yourself with some tales by moonlight or you are making a frantic and fruitless effort at re-telling Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart in the most amusing way possible.

    On the issue of exploring one’s sexuality,….
    The woman is the one who gets pregnant, she is the one who goes out of shape from carrying and nurturing babies, she is the one menstruating and undergoing menopause. I respect the uniqueness of the woman, she goes through a lot and undergoes changes a man will never go through. She is sacred, more reason she should be careful on how she explores her “sexuality”. Nobody says she should keep herself intact for marriage, she should explore her sexuality, but it should also have it’s limits.

    Don’t mislead young women out there. Women are unique, they cannot be equal to men.
    Stop wallowing in society’s self-imposed feminist-centered limitations and just be a woman.

    1. Kambili M.A. Chimalu Post author
      I was going to write a long thoughtful response to you, but the moment I saw “women … cannot be equal to men” and “she should explore her sexuality, but it should also have it’s (sic) limits,” I realized you are not interested in reason or logic. You will not accept the truth even if it hits you smack in the face.

      Anyway, I am concerned that you were up at 1:49AM, looking for women to convince of their apparent inferiority to men. Unfortunately, it will not work where I am concerned; at least, not today. Try again another time, okay?

      1. Wole
        Read my comment again. It doesn’t mention that women are inferior to men. I am not chicken brained. I grew up around women, I was raised by one and have three of them as siblings. I have very close female friends, so maybe I should have written that “men cannot be equal to women” and I will be saying the same thing. You see why feminism makes you think unilaterally. On the issue of sexuality, I have an ex who thinks she can have all the sex she wants with anyone even while in a serious relationship. This write up will boost her ego. I think you should stop misleading women.
        By the way, 1:49 am is the time I came back from my robbery activities, are you happy now?
        1. Kambili M.A. Chimalu Post author
          Ah @wole I did read your comment again and I stand by what I said. If something is not equal, what is it? Men cannot be equal to women does not equal you saying the same thing and making that assertion ignores the realities of what Nigeria is. You’d be lying to yourself.

          I am truly sorry about your ex, but that is not what we are talking about. If you want to have a conversation about infidelity, we can. Except it is agreed to by both parties, having sex with other people while in an exclusive relationship is a no-no.

          Ha! How can I be happy now? Abeg, repent before DSS abii police will use your brains to tar the raggedy Nigerian roads on one of your robbery missions.

          1. Wole
            You’re very hilarious Kambili!
            I see you’re petty too, please don’t reply my comment again, I am still sleeping and preparing for my next robbery attack.
          2. Kambili M.A. Chimalu Post author
            @wole ah ah, somebody cannot joke with you again. Is that how you use to do? 🙂 😉

            You have wounded me deeply. I am really shedding tears here. Anyway, just to show that I care for you, abeg run the robbery plans by me o! I don’t want anything to go wrong.

    2. Bee
      She should explore her sexuality but it should have its limit? And who are you to decide how a woman should or should not explore her body? Women do not want to be men sir, MR privileged, women wants equal opportunities in every sector, women do not want to be subjugated anymore. If you read the article well, you would have seen how unfairly women are treated and the bias in the society but NO o you didn’t read to understand because you think women want to be men. Such a pity
      1. Wole
        Miss/Mrs Opinionated, I have been waiting for your comment. I do not understand what kind of universe you live in, because where I am from women are no longer subjugated as you think. They now hold ministerial and senatorial posts, head multinationals, own oil blocs and are making very bold statements in their chosen spheres. You can keep on digging up a nonexistent problem while other women are pushing past your myopic view of the world.
        On the issue of sexuality, if you actually adhere to my opinion it means you are easily influenced out of habits, so just move on and do whatever you please.
        1. Bee
          I am a woman and I live in Nigeria. I don’t know where you live but if you are residing here, then you’d see how true her observations are. Lol view of the world, so because you know a few happy women holding key positions in Nigeria, we should be happy because they represent all the women in Nigeria abi?
          I’d love to engage you but I’d rather allow you wallow in your knowledge of women and their realities as you are a professor in women’s affairs and you are totally sure Nigerian women are no longer subjugated by the society.
          1. Wole
            I live in Nigeria and do not see how true her observations are. What tires me about all these arguments is the fact that you make it seem that because I am a man in Nigeria, I have a better chance at life. I do not want you to engage me too, I rather wallow in my knowledge as the Professor of Women’s Affairs. Thank you.
        2. Miss Opinionated
          Just because one or two women have seemingly broken free doesn’t mean the rest are not subjected to these things. Or will you say that America is no longer racist because they had a (half) black president?

          Do you mean to say that you haven’t heard people dismiss Linda Ikeji’s success by saying she should ‘go and marry’? You haven’t heard your sisters or female friends being teased about how ‘no man will marry them’ if they don’t do so and so? You’ve never heard about any man throwing out their wife for only bearing them female children? You’ve never seen where a woman is advised to stay with her philandering/abusive husband to ‘keep their home’?

          If you want to say that times have changed and we’re getting better, I would wholeheartedly agree. We have come a long way, however, we have an even longer way to go. But do not tell me the experiences and issues I have faced are not real, you have no right to do so.

          1. Wole
            OK. Very well said, please help Kambili to rewrite what she has put up there, she mixed it with a lot of unnecessary dramatic effects. It made what she was passing across very gory and I didn’t like how that sounded.
            I wasn’t going to agree with any part of what she wrote because she’d to mix up it with too much bogus fanfare.
          2. Bee
            Miss opinionated, you took your time to explain it really well, thanks.
            This is exactly what Kambili’s post was trying to explain but some people just want to argue. Apparently, they know our realities more than us because of the few women they watch on tv.
            When Emeke Ike’s wife filed for divorce, she was shamed on social media. Is it not ordinarily beating? Did our mothers not endure? So what if he cheats on her? What else is a woman’s job? Reading those comments made me realize just how bad it still is for women in Nigeria. The latest now is shaming feminists and being against feminism for no reasonable reason. Women are more informed now, we won’t allow the society place us in a box anymore, we are ready to break free, make decisions, Live our lives however we freaking want to.
  5. Max
    Women are their own worst enemies.
    I know a lot of women who don’t feel like they are criminals by their birth. I also know a lot of really happy women too.
    1. Kambili M.A. Chimalu Post author
      YES!!! You are right! OMG!!!!! You know what, I never knew that other women were my worst enemies and vice versa, but THANKS for bringing it to my attention. I am going to go find other women to pull down.

      Also, you are exactly right. Since you do not [allegedly] know any unhappy women in your PERSONAL life, it invalidates the experiences and realities of millions of women in Nigeria.

      Last, I don’t even know how to tell you that I do not mean women = literal criminals, but whatever.

  6. Empress Cyn
    Thank you for this, i am the first child of my parents and when my dad wants me to feel specially privileged he’d say “You know if i wasn’t a good person, i would have aborted you…but here you are now” but my brother who came after me never gets those comments directed at him.
    My mom who was a working mother who worked with my dad at his beer parlour, she would sell pepper soup while he sold the drinks and still my mom had more responsibilities, my mom took care of us, cooked for us and honestly was our care giver…i only saw my dad as a money giver…and its sad isn’t it?
    My dad was also abusive, he would get aggressive with my mom and then when she reacted by hitting him back, he would be dramatic and fall but with a shout, “Shola! You hit me?!”
    Then he’ll now start ranting that how can she hit him back in front of his children, forgetting the fact that he had been hitting her in front of us in the first place “If i slap you in front of your children, you should still give me that respect as your husband” he would say.
    Now i dont feel any love for him, he had nearly killed my mom in front of me and they are planning on getting separated, well my mom is, my dad might miss his slave…Its a funny thing.
    1. Kambili M.A. Chimalu Post author
      I am so sorry for what you had to experience. How would anyone ever think it is okay to make someone feel special by telling her to be grateful you did not abort her?

      I am happy for your mom leaving. Abuse is never okay.

  7. mr. smith
    you are happy her mom is leaving?!! really??!!
    anyways I enjoyed reading what you wrote and some part of it reminded me of those nollywood movies I saw as a child, but come on we are way passed some of the things you wrote. Honestly I’m tired of seeing people always comparing a man to a woman it’s wrong totally, we weren’t made on the same day neither do we play similar role…no matter how many articles are written about it or how many feminists we have a man will never be equal to a woman(to avoid quarrel) it’s not just a naija thing so abeg make we hear word. Like men don’t have their own problems too!!!
    1. Lape
      I don’t get. What’s wrong with the woman leaving the marriage? Or is that is happy, that’s the annoying part?
      1. Kambili M.A. Chimalu Post author
        Seeing as marriage is the ticket to heaven, hell apparently awaits anyone that dares to, gasp, leave a marriage even if it is an ABUSIVE one. Me being happy about that? My corner of hell is obviously waiting for me.

        I don’t even have the mental strength to engage the “women and men can never be the same because they were not created on the same day” comment.

    2. Kambili M.A. Chimalu Post author
      I think I was not very clear the first time, so that may be why you did not really understand what I said. Let me repeat: I AM HAPPY, ECSTATIC, OVERJOYED, MERRY, PLEASED, DELIGHTED, JOLLY, ETC. THAT HER MOM IS LEAVING AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE.

      Hopefully, this one is easier to understand.

    3. Atoba
      I don’t understand,she should be sad someone is leaving an abusive relationship?
      At times, I’m simply sad to be called “male” with a certain category of humans. “We will never be equal”? Of course my daughter, sister or whoever female I blessed to associate with will never be equal with a man that reasons like this. She has no choice, she will be far better!
      And men of course have their own problems, I don’t see anywhere that was called a lie. Pick up your pen and write about men-issues if you will. The women are speaking up, either lend a (useful) voice and read and move on.
  8. Max
    I think the problem with this article is that it committed the fallacy of hasty generalization, and we are not all inclined to agree with you. some of your assertions does have it merits,
    and I will like to reiterate that we still have a lot of happy women in Nigeria. The picture is not as dire and bleak as you painted it.

    Your choice of words does not mirror the true image of womanhood in Nigeria.
    If this write up gets into a journal or magazine in some other country, they would assume that all Nigerian men are monsters. that is far from the truth my dear.

    1. Morris
      If you had said all Nigerians are monsters, then… I mean almost every thing she wrote that are done to women are done by other women… I am pretty sure the goal wasn’t to paint ‘men’ a certain kinda way.
    2. Kambili M.A. Chimalu Post author
      There was no generalization on my part and I did not mention men being the architects of EVERY misfortune or classify all men as monsters.

      What I am talking about are SOCIETAL problems that our patriarchal society has designed to perpetually oppress women. People often make the mistake of thinking that women cannot be agents of patriarchy. They can, and often are.

      No matter how successful (“happy”) a woman is, she is always at the mercy of our society in the level of aggression she faces. For example, a successful woman is often expected to prove her “humility” by discussing how she still cooks for her husband. True, there have been some gains, but our society is still intrinsically misogynistic/patriarchal.

      1. mollie12
        Actually, there were many generalizations. There are several Nigerian women that would read this piece and go, “Nope. Not my story.” That’s how bad the generalizations are. I’m all for shedding light on the injustices meted on women in this society, but we do not help this cause by resorting to exaggerations.
        1. Atoba
          Literature, dear person, is in most cases larger than life. If at point A, a female says in your words, “Nope. Not my story”, she just might get to another scenario described and think, “Yea, that’s actually true”. The point is, are there truths in the article? Definitely. How do we help this cause? Do something- help the next woman not become a martyr. Her “exaggerations” have brought certain issues to light, let’s deal with those seeing as they’re in fact, very valid.
        2. Ruth
          Okay, i have to agree with somethings you have said, i dont know what world some of you live in, i do not see my life as a crime, i do not think i’m criminal i’ve never felt that way, never been made to feel that way, i have had my own struggles but still this write up is for mayb the 80’s not for now, there are happy successful women out there, alot for that matter, none feel like their existence is a crime. I absolutely do not agree with this write up, it takes the existence of womanhood , everything ,back to the stone age and make most of our achievements seem so small. We have achieved quite a lot and we have a lot more work to do, cant we focus on celebrating womanhood, the way you constructed this write up, a young girl wont even feel theres hope for her future after reading this, i couldnt even read it, “nope,not my story”. If i had a daughter , a sister ,a friend, i wont let them read this, so they don’t begin to feel theres no hope out there, i’d rather let her watch “king women” by kemi adetiba, something that celebrates a woman,that shows the achievements of women and would make her aspire to be better, to not view herself as a criminal or her existence as a crime. Did not like this write up at all, depicting womanhood like this, in year 2017.
  9. Neee
    Kambili, this write-up was scintillating. I really enjoyed the way you told the story, it was insightful and flowed really well. I’ll be looking forward to reading your future pieces.

    Now to address the nonsense up above. I’d like to know why the men up there have the effrontery to disagree with your post because ‘they know happy women’! If you are not a woman, you cannot speak for them, end of discussion.

    There is no part of her story that isn’t true, women are derided for not having (enough) male children, not being married at a particular age, having a child out of wedlock etc It is true that men can sometimes be subject to this, but not at a societal level. We need more write-ups like this to spread awareness about the injustice of these issues and to get people to look inwards to see how they are playing their part and find out how they can help.

    Us women need to support each other, stick together, be responsible for each other and treat each other with respect and admiration. Only then can we begin to win this fight against inequality.

  10. Debs
    I total think you are referring to back in the old days.. Because yes few of the things u wrote about marriage maybe I agree… But the fact u said girls are criminals or shame to be born, I totally disagree with you.. I dont know where u all were born though.. But my parents and practically all the friends I know or have ever had, have never brought up this view or perspective… Now u women who think u are shame to the born.. Compare yourselves with other countries that believe the female child is an abomination or crime.. Then u realise… Anyways like I said.. I dont know where u were born or what trauma u faced while growing up.. But I think this view depics an olden days version
    1. Jennifer Okojie
      You might think it’s dated but it very well exists in this present day. Several people, men and women, are never elated when a girl is born cos dey feel there’s no one to maintain the family legacy. Women in Nigeria are in many ways subjected to attack because they are women. You cannot explore sexually like men do cos you’ll be called ashewo. If you do not pay attention to advances made by men who see you walk by you’ll be insulted. What’s funny is it is never done to the opposite sex.

      Several of the things she wrote about still happen.

  11. Fiona
    There is honestly a part of me that lives for comment sections of articles like this, because it reassures me that I was not wrong for losing my faith in humans in general.
    Talking about women’s struggles does not in any way invlidate those of men. Turning this into a suffering Olympics makes no sense, but of course, a lot of guys only remember to say that men are struggling when women talk about thier own struggles. And they don’t say “men are suffering too” to throw light on male stuggles….a lot of them do it to shut down those who voice out their own struggle.
    Feminism today is about sexual and social rights. The movement is the reason women can vote, get an education, own land…. In short all the things a lot of women take for granted, and even more in some counties cannot do. But something lot of male have been able to do for decades, if not centuries. Back in the day, when women pushed for the right to vote, a lot of people said the same things many say now- that women did not deserve those rights because they were not equal to men.
    Male Privilege is real. It is walking into another man’s house with the secure knowledge that you don’t have to worry about getting raped. It is not having to worry about being raped and people assuming that you did something to deserve sex without your consent. It is, upon rape, not having to prove that you screamed and physically defended yourself. It is not having to ask people to imagine you are related to them in some way or another before they can acknowledge that you were wronged by someone of the opposite sex. It is not having a system of rules imposed upon you by society about how you should dress, the size of your ambitions, how your body should look, the state of your vagina, etc. It is not having to stay in an unhappy marriage because of the assumption that it was your fault. It is enjoying the right to be seen as a human, for no other reason but that you. Are. Human. If you don’t have to worry about these things, then yes, in this light, you enjoy privilege to an extent.
    I will end by saying that since there is no scientific proof that males are more superior and since the male body does not have two heads or bleed gold, the male superiority is a myth. The world does not belong to the physically agressive anymore, and the humam body only needs training to gain strength which can be done by both males and females. There are female weight lifters. It is, after all, 2017. Femimists are fighting for equal rights. To those who skipped primary one, equal does not mean better or more. Neither does it mean that both are the same. It means that everyone should have the right to the same benefits, burdens and opportunities as others, regardless of their gender. We’ve come a long way, but struggles still exist. If other people voicing out their legitimate struggles angers you for the mere fact that you cannot understand them, them maybe, just maybe, you might be part of the problem. Or at the very least, evidence of it.

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