Dear Lord, He’s Gay

Opinion

The alarm interrupted my beautiful dream this morning. I woke up smiling and hallucinated for a moment. There I was, happy… dancing… pregnant and deeply in love with the man of my dreams…. until the real memories of the gay man I dated shattered my illusions. This man I dated was a goodlooking fitness freak…

Share

Share
Text size
+

The alarm interrupted my beautiful dream this morning. I woke up smiling and hallucinated for a moment. There I was, happy… dancing… pregnant and deeply in love with the man of my dreams…. until the real memories of the gay man I dated shattered my illusions.

This man I dated was a goodlooking fitness freak and had swag. He was everything I was looking for in a man. When we met, I had just ended a bad relationship and was looking to date again. We met at a friend’s birthday party and I was so confident that I had met The One.

There were no signs of him being gay or being bisexual. Being with him felt so good. We went on lots of dates; we danced and laughed together; we kissed and cuddled. All of it just felt so good. There was no sexual contact in the relationship so I never got to see what happens there. One time after a rough night, one of his friends approached me and asked how we were doing. I responded that we were great. He went on to mention how I will never bond with his friend the way couples do and that he was not into me the way I thought. He was looking out for me before I got attached and hurt in the process. I just thought the friend was jealous because he was single and maybe wanted me for himself.

Coincidentally, I was prepared to take our relationship to another level. We had been abstaining for some time and I felt ready to get some. I invited him over to my house, we had some wine, watched a movie and then one thing led to another. “This is not working out,” he said. He told me he has no idea but he is not getting any response from his man maybe we should try something else. I did not ask what he wanted to try because I feared the worst. I just decided the problem it must be with the wine or something. However, from that day onward, the kisses, laughter and dances became awkward. We had more silent moments. The nights out turned into his friends and I gisting, where I would end up with more information about my relationship.

My eyes were opened. People I knew in media circles would whisper and it would reach my ears. One friend even outrightly asked how I was coping because the guy I was with was gay. Friends asked me how our relationship was sexually. I just could not believe my ears or the rumors doing rounds. It was so shocking I did not even have the energy to ask him if it was true.

There are things that we enjoy in a relationship and I am sure being cheated on with a man is not one of those. I gradually lost interest in the relationship and we grew apart. I wondered if the brother was hoping to heal himself off or he wanted a confirmation of his status. I have so many gay friends who act girly but he was too damn straight for me to even suspect foul play. I still cannot understand why he behaved the way he did.. There is no problem with being gay, we live in a world where no one really cares what people are doing.

So here I find myself, single again but still dreaming. What would you do if you find out your significant other is actually gay?

Image via Classic105

Responses

  1. Lyambee Aorabee
    i was in a boarding school where we had no girls around, just boys. what happens in the dormitories at night are too shocking for words. boy penetrated each others butts when they could no longer bear the heat in their loins, buh I’m an exception though i came close to indulging into this demented act. you see when you are around friends, they influence a lot I’m cock sure the guy didn’t wake up one day and become gay. he must have started it way back in college so the missus should learn to cope with the man because it has probably become part and parcel of him. gay sex is more exciting to people who delve into it because its something forbidden, amoral.
    2+
    1. LincayaD Post author
      It was too shocking ofr me because i had never experienced it. i had gay friends but they acted girly so this one…mmhh! suprised me. Now that you mention boarding school and all those things that happen or we do when we are young i get you point clearly.
      2+
      1. A
        Part of the problem that stopped you from noticing that he was gay is that you expect all gay men to be effeminate which is 100% not true. Gay men like straight men and women can act however they like. Don’t let movies and tv make you see gay men as always fashionistas and feminine.

        to , If you find out your partner is gay, you end the relationship; unless you are gay as well and into the same things. Why should the missus learn to cope? Also, dont blame boarding school for making people gay. Nobody forced anybody (well in some cases) to have anal sex. For you to even think of doing it with a guy (as a guy), you’re tending towards gay. The same applies the other way around.

        7+
  2. woyi_oc
    This happened for real? Man…..

    What would I do if I found out significant other has a thing, or 50, for her same gender peeps….? No idea. Some dudes would yell threesome but I’m sure a number of them would be joking….I think.

    2+
      1. NO2_EFX
        I know someone who experienced something similar. In her case, she just had a huge crush on the guy (who was her really good friend at the time). Like you she had no idea. One day the guy (who she described as attractive) asked her to dinner so he could tell her something important. Well, lets just say she didn’t get the “I’ve always loved you” she was hoping and/or expecting.
        1+
      2. woyi_oc
        A woman having a threesome with two guys isn’t really a common fantasy. Well not to my knowledge, anyway. So I’m not surprised. Some guys I know joke (or not) about having a threesome with 2 chicks, it’s why i said what i said. Threesome….sounds like stress to me. It’s hard enough pleasing one woman….2 of them?? Abeg, final year project would be easier.
        7+
  3. Abi
    I don’t even know what I would have done or will do. I will be in great shock and will feel embarrassed. Maybe he was trying to convince himself that he was straight ? If a man deceived me into a long term relationship including marriage and I found out he was gay goshh! I don’t know but I think maybe I will scrub him off me lol . Pls how can my competition be a man? sexually , it means I can never win. Also, I can never ever satisfy him the way the men will ! so was he deceiving me all d while? ! The shock and embarrassment ll be too real.

    Glad u found out sooner than later

    5+
  4. Buchi
    A lot of us are assuming homosexuality is only sexual. The term itself is misleading. It’s no longer just the human gender one likes to have sex with. It involves way more than sex. Sex is just a part of it.

    It’s not a malady. Note that immediately the knowledge of his orientation became known to her, a lot changed. Discussions became forced, or none existent. I think there’s emotional and other connections. Hence not all gay guys are effeminate. It’s not a sexual sickness that needs healing.

    Moving on, on to the idea of a threesome, reason the two girls and one guy scenario is more prevalent is because most girls are actually ‘bi-curious’ don’t know who coined that term but it’s very apt. Also, girls are more accepting of their fellow girls bodies than we are. We guys can really be stuck up about it. To the guy who thinks its a final year exam, trust me you don’t have to satisfy the both of them. If you’re lucky, they’ll satisfy themselves and then you. If you can handle it.

    3+
    1. Twisted
      I could kiss you for this!
      I can’t emphasize this enough. It not just about his sexual preferences.
      That’s just one part…I recommend ” walking with shadows” by jude idibia.
      This book really opened my eyes.

      That said, ,you’ll be okay. Don’t worry. I’m sure it hurts but youll get over everything.

      1+
        1. Od
          On top of all this other stuff I have to read and bother my head with?! Biko, maka why? Somebody should make a convincing case for why that book is worthy of my time, abeg. Like telling me, for example, how homosexuality is about more than sex. Yimu.
          0
          1. Buchi
            , I for write epistle take explain, but my Laziness is legendary. Can’t be bothered.
            , All this electronic kiss sef eh……
            1+
    2. Slim
      “Note that immediately the knowledge of his orientation became known to her, a lot changed. Discussions became forced, or none existent. I think there’s emotional and other connections.”

      A lot changed not because of her knowledge of his sexual orientation because clearly she had gay friends. Their relationship became strained because of the awkward sexual encounter (which could also happen to two straight people) and the possibility that he may have lied to her from day one and continued using her to cover up for whatever reason. That is why a lot changed. Also there are effeminate straight men. So I think being a homosexual IS totally sexual.

      0
  5. Sweet cheeks
    My story is the other way around. I actually dated a guy that I knew was gay. He claimed he was bi-sexual, but I know he just happened to like me, not females generally. We had a fairly normal sex life I would say, the relationship didn’t last very long, but the day it came to picking between me and a guy (don’t take that literally), well safe to say I knew my place real quick. To be honest tho, this happened at a time in my life when I was experimenting and it really was a whole new world.
    4+
    1. woyi_0c
      “but the day it came to picking between me and a guy (don’t take that literally)”

      Why na? The plot twist is more ghen ghen if it is taken literally

      0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

+