The alarm interrupted my beautiful dream this morning. I woke up smiling and hallucinated for a moment. There I was, happy… dancing… pregnant and deeply in love with the man of my dreams…. until the real memories of the gay man I dated shattered my illusions. This man I dated was a goodlooking fitness freak…
The alarm interrupted my beautiful dream this morning. I woke up smiling and hallucinated for a moment. There I was, happy… dancing… pregnant and deeply in love with the man of my dreams…. until the real memories of the gay man I dated shattered my illusions.
This man I dated was a goodlooking fitness freak and had swag. He was everything I was looking for in a man. When we met, I had just ended a bad relationship and was looking to date again. We met at a friend’s birthday party and I was so confident that I had met The One.
There were no signs of him being gay or being bisexual. Being with him felt so good. We went on lots of dates; we danced and laughed together; we kissed and cuddled. All of it just felt so good. There was no sexual contact in the relationship so I never got to see what happens there. One time after a rough night, one of his friends approached me and asked how we were doing. I responded that we were great. He went on to mention how I will never bond with his friend the way couples do and that he was not into me the way I thought. He was looking out for me before I got attached and hurt in the process. I just thought the friend was jealous because he was single and maybe wanted me for himself.
Coincidentally, I was prepared to take our relationship to another level. We had been abstaining for some time and I felt ready to get some. I invited him over to my house, we had some wine, watched a movie and then one thing led to another. “This is not working out,” he said. He told me he has no idea but he is not getting any response from his man maybe we should try something else. I did not ask what he wanted to try because I feared the worst. I just decided the problem it must be with the wine or something. However, from that day onward, the kisses, laughter and dances became awkward. We had more silent moments. The nights out turned into his friends and I gisting, where I would end up with more information about my relationship.
My eyes were opened. People I knew in media circles would whisper and it would reach my ears. One friend even outrightly asked how I was coping because the guy I was with was gay. Friends asked me how our relationship was sexually. I just could not believe my ears or the rumors doing rounds. It was so shocking I did not even have the energy to ask him if it was true.
There are things that we enjoy in a relationship and I am sure being cheated on with a man is not one of those. I gradually lost interest in the relationship and we grew apart. I wondered if the brother was hoping to heal himself off or he wanted a confirmation of his status. I have so many gay friends who act girly but he was too damn straight for me to even suspect foul play. I still cannot understand why he behaved the way he did.. There is no problem with being gay, we live in a world where no one really cares what people are doing.
So here I find myself, single again but still dreaming. What would you do if you find out your significant other is actually gay?
Image via Classic105