Dear Men, Why Do You Pull Our Hair During Sex?

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You people will say I have come again. With talk about sex. But try as I might, I could not resist writing about this matter. First of all, to all the ladies out there, raise your hand (using the comment box if you wish) if you’ve ever had your hair pulled while doing the naughty……

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You people will say I have come again. With talk about sex. But try as I might, I could not resist writing about this matter.

First of all, to all the ladies out there, raise your hand (using the comment box if you wish) if you’ve ever had your hair pulled while doing the naughty…

ME: *throws both hands up*

Of course, I wouldn’t be talking if I haven’t had this experience. And while I really don’t mind the act (I’ve come to like it a lot actually), it hasn’t always been nice. The first time it ever happened, it was a rude awakening; a real shocker; a ‘did he just do that?’ moment. I swear, I went cold immediately. All the desire just seeped out of my body like air from a deflating balloon. I was stuck somewhere between wanting to shout in anger and scream in agony. Yes, Mr.Dude didn’t do it right. He tugged like his life depended on it. And maybe his life depended on it, because he tugged just as he came. Nonsense guy. The Scalp Remembers!

Anyway, after that disaster, I tried to plan my hair styles very carefully. If there was a chance of ‘rain’ (you know I don’t mean real rain), I stayed away from the long weaves and the braids. But those were on the occasions that I had foresight. For the occasions that ‘took’ me unawares, I held on to my hair mehn, for dear life. So that the human being behind me wouldn’t get any tugging ideas. A sister cannot come and go bald in the name of sex. Imagine having to explain to someone why you lost your hair. God forbid! It sha took a few more tries and a very careful guy before I developed a ‘taste’ for it, and while I enjoy it now as a normal part of the routine, I’m still puzzled as to why it ever happens in the first place.

So, gentlemen, can you tell me/us why you feel the need to pull a lady’s hair during sex? As far as I know, most of us Nigerians didn’t grow up riding horses, so we didn’t pull any reins. Why do you now want to treat her like a horse? Could it be that when you’re behind her, you feel like you’re riding? Actually, maybe that’s not too far from the truth, because on occasion, a lady can get a smack on the butt in addition to her hair being pulled. I can almost hear the boys shouting “Yee haa!” as they gallop along.

I’ve come to the conclusion (and I may be wrong) that there must be something erotically empowering about pulling a woman’s hair. It must be that pulling her hair keeps her in place and makes her even more submissive because she can’t make any sudden moves once hair is in hand. Otherwise, she risks a lot of pain, or the loss of a really expensive hair piece. It must be that when man has woman’s hair in hand, he has complete dominion over her (for that time anyway) and it makes him feel like a god. Maybe it’s even that with hair in hand, woman might scream or shout or moan and possibly beg, thus resulting in a huge turn on for man. All of this is conjecture, as I can’t say that I know for sure.

You’re probably thinking “why didn’t you ask the man(s) that pulled your hair?” Well, I did. And they could not explain it. I don’t know if they really couldn’t, or if they were just embarrassed about the reason. So I’m hoping we have a more articulate crop of men here who will be able to help us understand the intricacies and benefits of pulling women’s hair during sex. If you can shed light on this puzzling sometin, you’ll be doing me and a lot of girls out there a huge favour.

For those boys who haven’t tried it before and think they will jump in as a badt guy just because they’ve read this post and now know that there’s a possibility that the girl will like it, try it at your own risk or peril. The only advice I can give you is, start slowly and gently, so that you have plenty of time to quickly leave the hair and pretend you weren’t trying to do what you were trying to do when she turns around and gives you the look of the WhiteWalkers.

Holla Back!

Responses

  1. roses
    waawu…ive noticed this too.but in another variation tho. a lot of people fancy what they see in porn and are eager to try it out.the only downside is that porn,like every other naija movie involves ACTING.you try it at home at your own discretion.
  2. Andronicus
    Jeez! You kinda gave a spoiler. I have to pay more attention to women’s hairstyles from now on (not just paying attention so she does not scold me for not complimenting her).

    So the shorter the hair, the freakier? I knew there was a reason I love girls with shorter…or really short boyish hair (hello Lola O.J). Ever since I saw Georgina back in college. Thanks for this insight.

    Oh yes, why do guys pull hair during sex? i don’t but it could be for leverage while thrusting like your life depends on it. So we can trust harder without it slipping out…or so you don’t run away from that D while it’s really getting good. I’d rather ‘prone-bone’ though. Has the same effect, maximum pounding without her escaping. Can’t risk ruining the moment by pulling off her hair, Lol!

    1. Osasu Elaiho
      This pretty much sums it up. It really can’t be explained why we like what we like other than the way it makes us feel in that moment. Sonia hear enjoys faux choking while someone else might think something is wrong with her.

      In the end it’s about reading who you’re with and learning what they like. The first time I pulled her hair, I was asked to. Think on that.

    2. Pet
      *takes notes*

      Question, what if one hand runs up the middle of your back and into your hair from the base of your neck and tugs none too gently so your neck is exposed enough for that other hand to find a firm grip, is that acceptable?

      1. Molly Henderson
        So much yes. Guys, if a girl says she doesn’t like it, that probably because you’re doing it wrong. Instead of tugging on the ends of her hair like a toddler trying to get his mums attention, spread your fingers through her scalp (like you’re giving her a little scalp massage) then curl your fingers so you gently, but firmly pull from the base of her hair. It’s cool to pull her head back a little, but not so that it looks like you’re about to break her neck. Totally hot if you use that grip to push her head to the side to kiss her neck or push her face down into the pillow..
        So sexy and makes for a better orgasm for her. At least it does for me anyway. Ehen a man handles me properly like that, daaaaaamn I am all for the hair pulling..
  3. Majesty Ibianga
    Well first of all i wouldn’t blame porn for this at all, and i also won’t readily assume a woman’s hairdo is an invitation for any particular kind of sex she may have in mind….i believe in stimulation and passion, and there are plenty nerve endings all around the scalp to ensure pleasure if done right. I like to think its akin to a woman digging her nails into a mans back, or clawing at the sheets….sometimes we all need something to hold on to. So where do we start? Men see it in porn frequently but there’s a proper technique to it….you have to pull gently but firmly from the base of the scalp (ensuring an even distribution of hair is pulled and not from the tips – after all, we still want her looking beautiful when we’re done…pain and the need for a new weave should not be the endgame)….lace wigs are a big no no…short and natural, pony tails or any tail really ….go figure.
  4. Cavey
    Like said “my back isn’t complaining despite all the claw marks” 😄
    *chuckle*
    Why? Maybe porno planted the seed in most guys but hair pulling-and I don’t mean the give-me-some-of-your-hair-my-dad’s-balding kind 😕-injects that right amount of pain that makes the pleasure…well, more pleasurable (like spanking, biting etc)…I think *shrug*
    PS: I’m concluding that MissO really likes the 🐩 style. Noted 😏
  5. Dammy
    Blaim it on porn but as for me i do it mostly because it gives me that deep doggy penetration that makes me hit her so hard……Pulling hair sometimes make her submissive which is actually fun.
  6. JAL
    Skipped all the comments so I could make an unbiased report here.

    We pull your hair during sex because that is sometimes we want to nut, and your back profile is not bent in the right “sexy as fuck” position for us to nut. So we pull to get you hitting that ass against us like there is no tomorrow. Or we pull your hair because you like it. Some ladies actually ask you to be kinky-slaps, punches, hair pulls et al.

    However, I guess we can agree to not pull the hair out of the scalp. Pull just enough for her to arch her back or rise from whatever she is leaning on and slam that ass down your…to your imaginations o’ yea Israel.

  7. JAL
    Skipped all the comments so I could make an unbiased report here.

    We pull your hair during s(e)x because that is sometimes we want to nut, and your back profile is not bent in the right “sexy as f()ck” position for us to nut. So we pull to get you hitting that a(s)s against us like there is no tomorrow. Or we pull your hair because you like it. Some ladies actually ask you to be kinky-slaps, punches, hair pulls et al.

    However, I guess we can agree to not pull the hair out of the scalp. Pull just enough for her to arch her back or rise from whatever she is leaning on and slam that a(s)s down your…to your imaginations o’ yea Israel.

    TNC…why are you marking my previous comment as spam? I have not insulted anyone who is reading this article’s sensibilities. Anyways, I have edited to make it safer for reading.

  8. Jeanne
    Wait!

    After spending a lot of time and coins, to groom my afro, which I always wear out, someone would come into my life, to pull at my hair strands, because they’re in the throes of passion?
    No, will do!
    Do so at the risk of a penile fracture…lol!

    But on a very serious note, that’s an experience I don’t want to have. The thought of it alone is very annoying and painful. I don’t even like my hair being touched randomly, not to talk of being pulled.
    Meanwhile, this is my second time dropping a comment. Been reading the blog from Twitter for a while though.
    Everyone on here so far, is ‘grown up’, so I feel it’s safe enough to join the party. I’m not a fan of dramatic and toxic public forums.
    Hello y’all.

  9. Ifeoluwa
    Well…can’t recall doing d hair pulling thing, but I think d guys that do it….do it out of d heat/intense pleasure of d moment ..or more likely as a copy cat act of what was seen in movies/porn.
    For me, d hips are d perferct leverage to cling to while doing d doggy ride (just d right distance ), why stretch forward to tug on d hair ??
    But then it’s all about perspectives, that’s why we are humans..d world would be such a boring place if we all did things d same way . so for those who like it and d girls who are thrilled by it ….pls go on by all means .
  10. Molara
    First time I am commenting
    Y’all so grown up and non judgmental.
    Would it be weird to discuss mild asphyxiation. That’s one of my greatest turn on.

    Unfortunately, most of d dudes I ve bin with are of d conventional type so yet to really experience it.

    About hair pulling, some of u hit d nail right.it’s a mix of pain & pleasure when done right. Most babes would enjoy a Lil bit of demonstrated passion from their dudes I think.

  11. Jakub
    Hair can be pulled in any position, not just from behind. And it should be done just right – pull too tight, it hurts too much. Pull too lightly, you might as well not bother at all. Why do we men like doing it? One part of it is to show dominance, which I have found is a turn-on for both. At the same time, the male shows a certain raw, animalistic, primal even, part of himself an his sexuality. Like throwing away all the bounds of society and becoming the wild thing he always was. If only for a moment. With woman on top, pulling her hair exposes all of her neck – one of the most vulnerable places of the human body – to be kissed and bitten. Again, the woman is at “mercy” of the man, a turn-on for both. I am generally not too dominant, but I like being dominant in bed sometimes and I always had great responses. So the women’s reactions (if we do it right) make us go on with it. Similar with spanking. Some girls like it and even ask for it, some hate it. Just listen to your partner.
  12. Marco
    Hey…..its not all about men! Those who watch porn can testify. Some women when having sex always scream Pull my hair. I was about to even ask women if that’s what they love
  13. Bianca
    So I just had my hahe pulled to where I started to cry I’ve had this happen a few times with the same person but this one time he pulled much harder than usual I was tying up my hair and I had hair falling out while doing so this scared me a lot to where I waited for him to sleep to sneak out never again I think if you want to pull on her hair ask permission to see if it’s ok with her

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