DID YOU COME?!

Opinion

If you have to ask a girl, “Did you come?”, chances are she probably didn’t. (FYI – This is a classic question for the gods.) I mean, with all the things that happen to her body when she comes, how can you not tell that she came? Did she not moan “Yes! Yes!! Yes??!!” Were…

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If you have to ask a girl, “Did you come?”, chances are she probably didn’t. (FYI – This is a classic question for the gods.) I mean, with all the things that happen to her body when she comes, how can you not tell that she came? Did she not moan “Yes! Yes!! Yes??!!” Were her insides not wet like Noah’s flood came through? Did she look like she was out of breath for a second then maybe a little jerky? Is all that not enough evidence for you to know that she did/didn’t come? Then WHY ARE YOU STILL ASKING?? Maybe it is just me but that question can be so annoying. This is because most times when guys ask, it is not because they want to keep up the foreplay or do whatever to make you get an orgasm (‘O’), they usually do it just to rate their completed task.

From what I have read and heard, apparently only an average percentage of women, say about 60% or less, have really experienced what an ‘O’ is, while the rest just fake it (we know this!). A few years ago I was a fresh young naïve girl in Lagos. I had zero, in fact, minus zero experience, besides what I had learned in M&B and the likes. You can therefore understand my expectations, you know. . .  the clock stops, his kisses would be like an oasis in the desert, the ‘lovemaking’ aka sex would make the earth stop spinning and snow would fall in Nigeria. Well, let’s just say it was very sunny in my side of Naija for a long time.

How did it change? Well, after 3 failed relationships and not wanting to increase body count for nothing, I decided to take it slow, be sure of myself, and a firm commitment to get the most from sex instead of just ‘managing’ it. So, after establishing that the big ‘O’ was not actually a myth, I started exploring. I got a mini sex toy that vibrates, played with it using different turns and twists until I got what I was almost sure was the ‘O’. Funny thing is, before this time, I didn’t know what an ‘O’ felt like so I had guessed that little tickle I felt when he did this or that to my body was the almighty ‘O’? Maybe it was that dull pain+pleasure I felt when he was thrusting away? Or that feeling I got when he bought our first tickets to travel to Seychelles for a holiday (I was pretty sure this came closest… (-_-).

Having established what works for me, best feeling will be to get it from a human, yes? Well, just at the right time, current boo comes along and ticked most boxes a girl hopes for in a man so I hoped the other department will work out too. We settled into this nice routine of ‘Netflix’ (without the chill) or hanging out for a couple of weeks with no pressure for sex which kinda bothered me a little but I did not mind per se. Then one weekend *insert tempo music*. It started with those slow, safe and NICE kisses we had been practicing for the last few months. This time however, his lips and tongue were working their magic, my body started telling that story. . . I stretched and stretched (I didn’t know I could do yoga!) It’s like something inside me was twisted so tight then released abruptly to its former state (I am honestly trying to describe it in words). It was scary at first because this was intense but it felt so good! After I visited the promised-land-of-‘O’ twice that night, I realized that we hadn’t even had sex yet! The best part? He did not ask if I had come, he just had a huge smile on his face. A man who knows what’s up… Sexy!!!!

Let us just say, I now understand why some girls are so annoyingly protective of their man because this ‘O’ can make you forget your destiny and dignity for a few minutes! After I got lucky, I think I need to do the charitable thing and share the technique to help some brothers here get that girl to join the 60% club!

Disclaimer: I am not a pro and everyone is unique so learn what works for your girl.

Dos/Don’ts:

  • Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay and more foreplay go a long way. Do you have food cooking? Is there someone at the gate? PHCN just brought light and you need to catch up on GOT 5? Are you paying for the sex? Are you worried about getting caught? No? Well, why won’t you take time to do this right? (Apart from quickies, those ones have a special lifespan). If you want to get her going then you have to take the time with your girlfriend.
  • The magic is in the clit (I hear this is mostly the case but can vary.) I don’t know how much more I need to emphasis this. Just imagine that the clit is the genie in the bottle keep on rubbing it and the genie will jump out! Sadly, it looks like a lot of guys were sleeping in biology class because they go there and are lost. It is like looking for periwinkle in jollof rice but of course they will never find it. Please google it, take a mental image, and look for it on your girl(s) or ask your girl for direction.
  • Take your time and lick and suck. You cannot go there, dip your head for 1 minute and come up fast for air like a drowning man. It can take good amount of oral stimulation ‘head’ to get an ‘O’ so please be patient, know and learn what works for her. You can alternate between using your fingers and tongue in circular, vertical and horizontal motions. Pay attention to the ones that get the best reaction from her.
  • See ehn, to those guys using their tongue to poke the vagina and think that’s head, STOP IT. It can be part of the fun but no matter how hard you try, the tongue cannot be your penis.
  • DO NOT go down there, spit on her clit and deceive yourself that she is all wet from your hard work. Nah!
  • Don’t go down on the girl all teeth out, she is not a piece of ‘toozo’, you are likely to cut her and leave her feeling bruised.
  • Some women can get an orgasm from penetration but from what I discovered, most won’t so please stop pounding harder/faster/deeper it doesn’t feel sweeter/sexier/better because you are not a sexual god and you cannot reach my esophagus from there no matter how hard you go.
  • Do the all fours ‘doggy’ while using your fingers to stimulate the clit . . . double topping and that has been known to help!
  • TOYS! I am not talking about those massive scary looking dildos. There are some discreet ‘pinky- size’ toys that can help and if you don’t have any or are too embarrassed to buy one, just use an electric toothbrush cause it’s the same concept. ( Please, use a new one.) Except of course you think you can vibrate consistently for 10 minutes (in which case we’ll think it’s epilepsy), invest in one for fun. Ladies, you can use a toy to learn what your body responds to and epp your man today!

This is by no means exhaustive and I know some people have had it good for some time now and are pros in giving and getting an ‘O’, please tell us what works for you.

Image via The Fertile Chick

Responses

  1. isys
    Dear me *blushes dark chocolate*
    I’m a prude and a closet freak #DontAsk
    Even though I’m slightly embarrassed by this, it’s so spot on it’s ridiculous! So shy away as I may, I’ve gotta say, guys sex isn’t just about you!
    A woman can fake an ‘O’ to stroke your ego but it’s better to actually be the master at getting a real one and not a Chief Pounder with no outcome!

    *goes back into hiding*

    8+
  2. Decorousmoi
    “Dont spit and deceive yourself shes wet” this should be engraved in stone and every guy should carry around.

    I dont get how very little women have experienced an “O”, even in my small circle of friends…its sad women settle for that tingling feeling of pleasure and pain.

    The first time i experienced an “O” i was so confused cos he made it seem so easy (i had four more the same day)….guys are just plain selfish….work abit, listen to her body. Dont be afraid to explore.

    And aunty, yes you..stop lying especially if he is your lover, if he isnt doing it right biko tell him lovingly. Your box needs love.

    That been said, say no to sex before marriage ?

    13+
  3. A Loco Viva Voce
    Lmao we will think it is epilepsy. NOTE to guys: Please address the clitoris in a delicate manner. It is not undercooked kpomo that you attach vigorously.

    DOES RUNS, ESCORT & HUSTLE EQUAL PROSTITUTION? Read my opinion here

    0
  4. Nosa

    ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH?????!!!! For what na????
    But please, i’m all for learning. So ladies, please, tell us how to get you across the Jordan and into that promised land.

    Honestly, i can’t locate the clit on a diagram to save my life. I just explore the body, especially downtown until i get the reaction i’m looking for or hear one of two phrases “RIGHT THERE” or “DON’T STOP”. Then i know that’s where the pot of gold is.
    I keep wondering how people do sexytime without foreplay, when you can’t do things to girl’s mind and body even without entering, trust me, even Superman has nothing on you then.

    And for the guys, Omarion’s O should be your sexytime goals, if not, GERARAHERE!!!!!!

    4+
    1. Nosa
      when you CAN do things to girl’s mind and body even without entering, trust me, even Superman has nothing on you then.

      *sigh* that’s how one letter can turn someone’s words upside down.

      5+
    2. OBI
      So the electric toothbrush is for the vibrating effect, no one is going to be inserting a toothbrush into their Vagina…… You need to use your google image and get “Clitducated”, like I am offended for that statement…. Dza clit is like the queens of all queens (my opinion). Also let me add one more, inserting your gigantic and long-nailed finger into the vagina is just a hell No, abi is it the ass tapping……I could go on
      1+
  5. Chinweike
    Funny, I’m actually the one that gets asked if I came, and sometimes I even fake it (yes, guys fake it too) so as not to incite worry. I’m not too excited about sex really, sometimes I get numb and bored and start thinking about random stuff. One thing I do enjoy is giving the big O, maybe I’m lucky or I’m just good at it but anyone I’ve been with, I’ve given it both ways. There’s just something intoxicating in being able to bring that much pleasure to someone.

    Also there’s (from my experience) a difference between clitoral and vaginal O’s, the former is more localized ie felt around the clitoral region, whereas the latter is more widespread, that’s the one with the full body tremor that scare the shit out of you the first time you witness it.

    My being able to induce both of course is not down to me having super powers or anything but rather from being perceptive, so I suppose that’s my advice to the fellas, be perceptive and figure out what works for each person. Also, of course I’ve not experienced the big O (as a female would) but I do know what it’s like, that’s down to communication, so advice to the ladies; communication, if you’re uncomfortable talking about sex then maybe you shouldn’t be having it.

    Good luck to everyone and happy O’s.

    5+
    1. JADE
      I disagree with you about orgasms from clitoral stimulation being localized o, when i have an orgasm, there’s the usual jerking, flooding you seem to think is associated with penetration. I have never cum from penetration so i have no idea how that works or if it is different
      2+
      1. Chinweike
        I don’t mean localized in the strictest sense. What I mean is that it’s felt most at the clitoral regions, like it starts from there, then spreads outwards. But the most pleasure is felt at the region, this isn’t to say the usual shenanigans and convulsions aren’t involved. The ones attained from penetration are ostensibly more profound and widespread, their words anyway, not mine, I’ve never felt it.

        About your never having climaxed from penetration, perhaps something ought to be done about that.

        0
          1. Chinweike
            I see how that last line might have sounded like a proposition. This is to clarify that for all intents and purposes, it’s not! Jade, I’m terrified of you, I mean, you ask for screwdrivers as opposed to drinks, what I’m trying to say is that you pass me, I know my level and I like to maintain it. Thanks
            3+
  6. Tiki
    Pet peeve – when a guy holds you open with his fingers before giving you oral…nigga, that WHOLE place down there is the sex organ! It’s not just the clitoris or vaginal entrance which can stimulate sexually. I mean, why act like the southern lips are just a covering for treasure? They are treasure in their own right.

    Giving your girl head is one of those situations where a ‘look, no hands!’ approach is better than fiddling around with your thick clumsy fingers trying to disguise the fact that you don’t know what the heck you are doing. boy, put those hands where I can see them, and get to work!

    5+
  7. Tiki
    As for asking me if I’ve come. I’m sorry. Every single time, you’ll get a sarcastic comeback in the form of a fat, juicy, long-suffering hiss and a ‘I didn’t have time to.’

    When a girl has come, you don’t need to ask. Even the silencers go taut like a bowstring and then totally floppy, it can’t be helped.

    2+
  8. Tori
    Foreplay is really everything. It takes women a lot more time to get going, so guys really have to take the time. Talk to her and prep her mind for it before it even begins. I really like to be talked to, it amplifies the effect. I think the best thing I did for myself was to explore my body and learn how to give myself an O, because it will be easier to teach a guy how to please you only if you actually know what pleases you. So when I eventually find a boo, or the boo finds me (whichever happens first) I know how to please myself, so teaching should be easier.

    The post is SPOT ON though, so guys, Listen!

    3+
  9. Blaqlotus
    Something must be wrong with me, either that or the guys I’ve been with don’t give a good head. I have never had an orgasm from the clitoris stimulation, and i actually like the tongue in vagina thing. And the best O for me comes from rubbing my Venus Mound.
    0
    1. JADE
      LOL you and me both, I have never had an orgasm from penetration NEVER,but i have cum from clitoral stimulation while being penetrated and it was AH-MAY-ZINGGGGG. I don’t even like oral sef.

      PS: I don’t even want to go into the stories that question has caused

      1+
      1. OBI
        I am a head person though…..its like the cherry on the pie or the “finish him” move in MK. But I have heard guys say stuff like “I cant give a gurl a head” like its some sorta abomination or something.
        2+
    2. Olayinka
      Let me just say your confession gave me a lot of comfort. I love sex and I don’t hide that fact from Mr. Lover but honestly no matter how much we explore the subject, and we do a lot, heads don’t make me cum and the vaginal cums are still elusive to me. Sad.
      0
  10. june
    “It was scary at first because this was intense but it felt so good! After I visited the promised-land-of-‘O’ twice that night, I realized that we hadn’t even had sex yet” This is paradise, superman sure got nothing on you nigga
    1+
    1. Anonymous Aboki
      “..he doesn’t know how to learn..” sounds like a guy with a genuine weakness.

      I think with patience & guidance he’d get there. If not, you can derive ’em Os from toys, like Vanilla almost prescribed, or end whatever you have with the guy (if it’s worth it)..

      Cheers

      0
  11. DJ
    From a concerned make: please dudes, it’s 2015, you MUST “eat” the box.

    Wash your hands, rinse your mouth, adjust your napkin to capture spilled juice and “eat” away…

    Not like toozo o

    2+
  12. JADE
    So in our second year in Uni, my roomie used to complain to me that she doesn’t ever cum when she’s with her boify, because he just penetrates and 1 min later he asks her “have you come”, so i asked her what she usually says and she replied ” the question upsets me so i just lie and say yes so that he can finish and get down”. I then advised that maybe next time she should look past her annoyance and say no she hasn’t come yet and she agreed. The next time we chatted about it she said she was leaving him and i asked why. She replied ” shebi i took your advice and said no i haven’t come, the idiot now told me i should better come because he’s coming”. Just imagine??? Even the question ” how many times did you come? is annoying. Why all the fifty questions after sex guys? why?
    5+
    1. Blaqlotus
      Lool, If i were her, that sex would have ended at that moment, he should just wank off. Every girl has faked an orgasm, but don’t make it a normal thing. If not you’ll continue on a long thing.
      2+
  13. Cavey
    I’m just here with my 60 leaves note and biros, waiting for the crowd of ‘What Have You Done in Bed…’ to get a whiff of this post.
    That said, I think the ONLY time its okay for a guy to ask that question is after you’re sure she’s climaxed multiple times and then you touch the small of her back lightly or do something ‘innocent’ and she spasms again. only then, is it okay to ask in a humour-laced voice
    13+
  14. A3
    Let’s just have a moment of silence for all them guys who have no clue what foreplay or head are all about.
    By the way I’m bookmarking this article to send to an ex or two…
    11+
  15. stubborn geh
    Omo see comments! true confessions!! While reading this post i had to go back to check it wasn’t written by S. The article is so “in your face” like many of S’ articles. Well done Vanilla. That said, I couldn’t help laughing like a maniac! All the pointers given have been noted and forwarded to the bae. I personally hate it when you give head and you stop every 5secs to clean your lips or catch your breath and go back in. If you cant do the head, bone abeg! Plus i think every girl wants to know if you are enjoying yourself too. A little moaning and groaning while going downtown is a good way to start. An extra tip though, don’t blow in air into the Vajayjay while eating o biko! ehen.
    2+
    1. JADE
      LMAO, na wa o, the guy will be giving you head and still be moaning and groaning? you shouldn’t have time to listen to his moans and groans if he’s doing right na because the decibel levels of your own should be high enough to deafen you both.

      PS: I don’t really like oral sex so pretend i’m not here

      3+
      1. Monster
        Apparently vibrations help with head as well, so if he moans or whatever it helps with stimualation! I heard tho….i wouldnt know lol!
        0
    2. S
      LMAOOOO!

      S, just look at your life.

      Well, truth is there is no way i could have written this post because S only cares about her own (and her spirit husband’s) fantastic orgasms. She doesn’t care if other people are suffering from lack of orgasms.

      🙂

      0
  16. Chicadimples
    For like babes like me dat don’t have d clit, guess its siddon look…. have given up jare… cannot be wasting body count upandan.
    0
  17. brownie
    Woow! I actually met mr right some weeks ago nd LAWD I had a wonderful experience! Nd I mean d WHOLE PACKAGE, I basically moaned,writhed,jerked e.t.c all through d night!… P.S ve even been a bit scared sef cuz I can’t seem to stop feeling d tingligy tingligy btw my legs n all over me whenever I ve a flash back of dat “holy night”! *sighs in satisfaction*
    2+
  18. Zelle
    HEYYYYYYYYYY *yes i’m shouting* havent been on this site in ages!
    Thanks Vanilla for this article!
    You hit the spot *see what I did there hehe*
    Teach these niggas!!!
    Asking if I came is a no no, that is it for me cause if he had to ask, he knows he didn’t do shit and best believe he is never sexperiencing this smoking hot bod EVER!
    life is too short for wack sex like I always say
    I’ve had my own share of wack sex guys but nah meyne The Z is done with that life!
    you have to make that kitty purr, PURR damnit!
    and no just shoving your tongue like i dont even know doesnt count!
    the first person who ever gave me head was a girl (i am strictly dickly fyi)
    she knew what to do and how to do it damnnnn my legs still terrible at the thought even though it was years ago! watch lesbian porn guys, its helps, you’ll learn a thing or two and ladies if you’ve never made yourself cum, i dont know how you expect another person to know what to do, explore your body, you are the key to your magical “O”!
    you have to eat me out right then screw my brains out..basically eating me out is the prelude to *insert word*
    Don’t ask me shit just do it and let my pussay testify….
    *adjusts halo*
    -Ze virgin x
    2+
  19. Ladi
    I TOTALLY DISAGREE with most of what the post has to say on Orgasms and how they are expressed. Not tooting my horn; but for the sake of this debate, I have had extensive sexual experience with a lot of women. Women express their orgasms in many various ways, some jerk violently while they scream out hysterically, some hold on and squeeze you really tight, some; their eyes get wide open and sometimes go red, some just push you off of them once they cum or as they cum. And some are just quiet, no obvious physical signal to show their Cuming, but they actually did, several times at that. I personally ask the ‘have you cum’ question, especially for those who orgasm quietly.
    I sometimes can tell without asking, usually when a woman has cum, inside her mouth become very cold almost icey when you kiss it. Also, and these ones are not physical signals, when a woman has cum, she smiles a whole lot more, sometimes without reason, she’s very chatty, and its usually the best time to hear secrets and truths, she’s very cuddly, almost clingy. And when you have done something right, she starts buying gifts without occasion. Sends you texts on how she cant stop thinking about the last time you guys had sex. And randomly calling you up to meet for sex.
    I am very sure that women don’t fake orgasms with me, they have absolutely no reason to lie about it, because talking about sex and her sexual expectations with me is very easy, Its very important to me for a chic to be comfy discussing sex with me, if you didn’t cum, tell me, then we walk through it till we reach promise land. I make sure they don’t feel anyhow showing their frustrations if I ain’t getting it right the first time around.
    Like I had this chic,sometime back who had partial circumcision when she was little, so Orgasms through both penetration and oral where not forthcoming. I would ask her and she would say no , I haven’t cum!. Then one day I decided “today Na today” I ate her out all types of ways, depending very much on instructions from her on where the tongue should go and where the finger should be, at which angle my lips should hit her clit. This went on for almost 1hour, then it happened, the violent jerking, louds ass scream, then the one I wasn’t expecting; SQUIRTING everywhere, my face, all over the sheets, I just froze….but the deed was done. Subsequent eating out sessions produced the same results, but the squirts gradually reduced until they stopped. Then she started Cuming through penetration, it got to a point that she started Cuming way before I did(frustrating)
    Then for those that don’t achieve Orgasms through penetration, THERE IS NO SUCH THING. Its just the guys you’ve been with don’t know how to work you specifically, its really not’ ‘ a one size fits all’ approach with sex. And/or maybe you aren’t telling/guiding him through the works, expecting that he should be super human and know all, he’ll eventually get to That point where he is fluent in your body language (French or Yoruba) but you gotta show him how to get there first
    6+
    1. stubborn geh
      Choi! U havd scattered something there o! Squirting escorted with violent shaking?!!! Thats all carry over “O”s in 1 sitting. Hope she married you straight?

      l

      2+
    2. OBI
      You are just one guy and I don’t know the kinda girls you have been with and their fakation but trust me, a woman can achieve orgasm via either the Vagina or the Clitoris or both.
      0
  20. Femme
    Its this kind of assumption that has been a problem with us, so u ve bn with less than a 300 girls and now everyone in d whole world that isn’t coming from penetation is not getting it right. Oshey o! Its ur ‘too sure ‘ attitude that makes pple pretend just to make u bliv u r all dat.

    We all feel cuddly after sex or even without, and we chat wen in bed to show bonding etc. Cold mouth? Ok o..wat do I know, u sound lik-e an expert in ur own right! But wat worked for ur lil circle of females can’t mean it applies to a billion of us!

    5+
  21. Ladi
    [email protected] stubborn geh….marraige, it almost happened, but man shall not live by O’s alone.
    , had to be thorough, felt it like a point of duty, for the fellaz not to feel like total losers just because the chic didn’t shake and scream. Just imagine the conversation
    Guy; you didn’t cum
    Girl: I did, a lot
    Guy; You didn’t shake and scream, why are you lying?
    Girl; But I’m not Lying, not all girls cum like that.
    Guy; But that’s not what I read on Naked Convos
    Girl: What???
    Girl gets up dresses up and ends the whole thing. Wide spread pandemonium.
    4+
    1. Dee
      Ladi I want to have sex with you! I mean it! How we go do am now. Only ur comment made me wet.. I want to feel your action dude. Kilo feel?
      0
  22. Ladi
    And also forgot to mention in some of the things to look out for to know she O’d.
    – She becomes a bit irritated right,in the middle of sex, and asks you to stop, and won’t let you touch her again for a while. She must have been visibly enjoying it first though before you can make the deduction that she came.
    -And she need to take a quick snooze right after sex. She feels a bit drained and need to replenish energy.
    There are so many ways to tell, just listing the most common ones.
    1+
  23. INI
    Is this kind of over sure attitude from Ladi that makes us pretend. Mostly because we don’t want to feel abnormal esp wen u spend one hour doing d wrong things and brag abt bn d king of making other women cum, then we say we did come so we r seen as normal. Cold mouth? Looool! Oga, park well, when u ve bn with at least 300 women then u can come and tell us abt penetratiin bn a sure way to cum. Squirting is not by everyone either, besides r u sure u didn’t tickle her too much that she peed and u thot it was squirting? Share ur experience that may ve worked for u since u r sure she wasn’t faking it (u obviously haven’t met a professional faker).
    3+
    1. Ladi
      ‘SIGH’……This is why I really don’t like to comment, people really don’t read thoroughly before responding or commenting on a person’s opinion. I only felt compelled cuz I felt the post was slightly misleading on some issues raised.
      If you read thoroughly, I didn’t generalise any of the signals to all women, I used some at the beginning of every example, meaning it differs from person to person.
      – I never said squirting was for all women, if you read thoroughly I stated that I was even surprised.
      – And I still stand on it that Orgasms through penetration (except in the case of full circumcision) are for every woman, if it hasn’t happened ‘yet’ its a matter of time or a matter of she helping the guy out with some guidance.
      -And to the matter of faking; let me rephrase, if any woman has lied/faked with me, then she is a pathological liar and has probably lied to me about her name. Because there is absolutely no reason whatsoever. And as far as the professional fakers go, they have forgotten why its important to be truthful about things like this, or truthful about anything period!
      -And I don’t need to have a vagina to know these things, I just need a good measure of attentiveness, and curiosity that prompts me to ask the relevant questions like ‘have you cum’? It kind of seems like some feminist backlash because you’re feeling why should a guy be telling me how my vagina responds. Your male Gynea knows more about your body than you do, I don’t see telling him to ‘park well’
      DISCLAIMER: I have at no point claimed to know all, I only felt I had reasonable enough experience to make some input. PLEASE READ THOROUGHLY
      4+
      1. OBI
        Maybe you should actually stop commenting, you know when you are sick and you go to the doctor, he still has to ask you about how you feel and not just make assumptions because he has been paying attention. Attention my ass………..
        1+
  24. INI
    Need for sleep may apply for some girls but it almost sounds like u r now talking abt d male experience of needing to snoooze after nutting. How can u tell abt stuff that happens in a girl’s body if not that u were tol . U beginning to sound like u have a vagina..
    1+
  25. Ladi
    Then there was the issue I noticed, that I had avoided commenting on, but was prompted by this comment from INI. And its this duplistic nature this women have, you’re saying one thing and meaning a totally different thing….. One very rampant,complaint I hear and read about, is “he is not caring” “he ain’t attentive” “he would just cum and roll off, not even bothering to ask if I have cum” Guys if you’ve heard this before ‘say Aii!’ I don’t need to ask the ladies, cuz it originated from them. Then now there’s a whole post bashing guys for bothering to find out if you did cum. Come on! I personally feel its women with very limited sexual exposure that have a problem with this very important question, and this is because mills and boons has taught them that the guy just has this super sensory knowledge on how to get her to promise land, I say again TELL HIM HOW!. Some might get it of course, but it just means both your chemistrys’ are very on point.

    EYIN BOYZ! don’t mind them O! Keep asking away. And if they say nonsense when you ask, ask them if you’re the Holy Spirit.
    DISCLAIMER. No generalisation was made here on any issue, take the one that suites you.

    6+
    1. stubborn geh
      Y’all should leave Ladi alone jor! its his opinion just as it was Vanilla’s opinion when she mentioned she doesnt like the “did you come” question. Ladi made a point though when he said “One very rampant,complaint I hear and read about, is “he is not caring” “he ain’t attentive” “he would just cum and roll off, not even bothering to ask if I have cum”. I have felt that way at one point in time. I am guilty of complaining like that before. See ehn…Women are just complicated beings. We want “hot and cold”, “yes and no”…”stop it i like it”. To me, the question “did you come” irks ladies when a dude says it just to get compliments for their sexual prowess. its a coded way of asking if he did good but the truth is some guys actually ask because they want to know if they pleased you well enough…yes, it still affirms that they did good but they make it seem like it all about pleasing you.
      So if you ask me, i have been vexed by that question and there have been times i didn’t feel a thing. I even answered truthfully. wink!
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      1. Ladi
        Stubborn Geh, I have decided to take the road of wisdom, Sit back, read and sip on what the wise men/women are sipping on. But y’all remember this blog is called The NAKED CONVOS.
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  26. Omotawler
    Communication is very vital between people. With good communication, everyone goes home happy. Though some girls can be shy about voicing out what they really want, I used to be too, till I overcame it and realised saying what I wanted and how it should be done makes me more satisfied. Guiding ur partner through saves u a lot of complaints and more of moans, writhes because he might me doing it wrong, going south instead of north. And ladies, should really learn to say what they want and how they want it, if you really want to get that ‘O’. I got mine. Lol.. And , thumbs up,you right in spot!
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  27. Omotawler
    Communication is very vital between people. Good communication goes a long way. Telling ur partner what you want and how u want it really saves you a lot of complaints and more of moans and writes, and cum. Though some girls can be shy voicing out what they really want, I used to be like that till I came out of my shell and got the ‘O’. To the ladies, if u want that ‘O’, u should talk, guide that guy to the right spots and you just enjoy what comes after. And to the guys, every girl is different. Different strokes for different folks. Remember, communication is key. And ,thumbs up!
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  28. Omotawler
    Sorry for the comment twice. It didn’t show the first time, had to type again but couldn’t get exactly what I wrote. TNC, that happens everytime I want to comment. Most times I just give up. Kindly see to it. Thanks.
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  29. Jite
    I knew I should have read this post yesterday!!!!!! Meanwhile I never use to climax , I would ask my friends they would give me all kinds of advice . I even asked a silly psychic she said it’s cause my mind is on everything but what I’m suppose to be worried about. Sadly enough my first time having an orgasm was with a toy and I’m pretty sure I died and came back to life. Then there was this guy with a huge penis who was actually worried about me not getting an O , he even like that we use toys while penetrating me. So I’ve been at it since . And to be honest it feels to good I feel like I’m not worthy of feeling that way . I also feel like my body might explode . I rather please the other person , my own ocassionaly
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    1. stubborn geh
      Squats squats and more squats! Worked for me like magic. Start small though. I started with 15 and increased with 5 everyday. Now I comfortably do 200 upwards and cowgirl is eazypeazy!
      8+
  30. VFFM
    Sigh…. I am seeing lots of comments from Women talking about the men just “cumming and rolling off”, unfortunately,I have had the opposite experience with at least 5 women who just “cum multiple times and sleep off!!” and leave me staring into space wondering whether the pain I am experiencing from blue balls is God’s way of punishing me.

    I find that getting a woman to cum is a lot easier than what I had read about all those years. Cumming is as much as a mental thing than a physical thing, is she wet from you just entering the room or from you just talking to her? Do you stimulate her brain(if that’s what she likes)? or have you shown her a sufficient level of care that has made her mind totally receptive to you?
    Does she trust you enough to let you see her in her most vulnerable state?

    The only time I ever used to ask the “Did you cum” questions were in the early days. I find that Nigerian women now are almost always trying not to cum because they are too shy and do not want this guy to have that picture of her all vulnerable. When a woman trusts you enough, she will cum without you having to do much.

    Talking about cumming from penetration is a totally different ball game. There are certain postures that help achieve this faster. Start out with lots of kissing(learn how to kiss brother), stimulate her clitoris with your fingers while you kiss her, then find a posture that helps you reach the right spots with your d***(you will know brother by her reaction and the way her body moves). One secret posture that I have found to work for penetrative orgasm and also for body building through sex is using a wooden chair.

    5+
  31. alaagbaaa
    Wow! Its been a long time away. This post DRAGGED be out of my spectator’s chair. I read through the thread and i agree totally with Ladi. Most women hate it when/if you can predict how/what they feel in the Southern shore. Handling the most important department in a woman’s faculty is’nt a Forever course, all you need is ATTENTION.

    I was once with this Lady that had this whole wrong assumption about the ”O” stuff cos of her clitoris, She actually claimed she has none. We talked about it and thats when i know ur road to the big ”O” doesn’t start in the bedroom alone. When you set the right tone, sexual chats, you’ve actually put her in the mood.

    I asked her how she will like to get touched and put her in charge, all she did was to give instruction and i followed. To the right, to the left,stop,pause,continue,to the center,suck,ok now leak were some of the commands. At the end,she came like a Volcano! So, there’s no need to act perfect cos women are so different and their body differs, don’t assume you know too much women. To get the full semester grades, you have to see every woman as a new subject you must approach in the context of such subject matter.

    As much as i agree with Ladi, i must also made known some of his wrong perception.
    1. NOT ALL WOMEN WILL COME FROM PENETRATION. IRREGARDLESS OF THE TYPE OF CIRCUMSTION.

    I studied Human Anatomy and Physiology a lot during School days and for you to draw a logical conclusion, you must understand how it ALL works. Ask urself questions like, Whats in the place that the Penis hits, what sort of nerves r concentrated there? What part of her ‘Empire’ has the highest concentration of ruling Nerves? If you get to answer this, i guess you might wanna retract ur claim.

    Cheerx

    1+
  32. dexter
    well, I think giving the “O” is an act of selflessness you have to be attentive to the body of the recipient, that is when you would not need to ask.However if you have tried to find your way there and you cant,I don’t think asking is a bad idea but now we have to understand the female perspective of how to ask,not to fan your ego but simply asking direction to make you get there O .
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