If you have to ask a girl, “Did you come?”, chances are she probably didn’t. (FYI – This is a classic question for the gods.) I mean, with all the things that happen to her body when she comes, how can you not tell that she came? Did she not moan “Yes! Yes!! Yes??!!” Were her insides not wet like Noah’s flood came through? Did she look like she was out of breath for a second then maybe a little jerky? Is all that not enough evidence for you to know that she did/didn’t come? Then WHY ARE YOU STILL ASKING?? Maybe it is just me but that question can be so annoying. This is because most times when guys ask, it is not because they want to keep up the foreplay or do whatever to make you get an orgasm (‘O’), they usually do it just to rate their completed task.
From what I have read and heard, apparently only an average percentage of women, say about 60% or less, have really experienced what an ‘O’ is, while the rest just fake it (we know this!). A few years ago I was a fresh young naïve girl in Lagos. I had zero, in fact, minus zero experience, besides what I had learned in M&B and the likes. You can therefore understand my expectations, you know. . . the clock stops, his kisses would be like an oasis in the desert, the ‘lovemaking’ aka sex would make the earth stop spinning and snow would fall in Nigeria. Well, let’s just say it was very sunny in my side of Naija for a long time.
How did it change? Well, after 3 failed relationships and not wanting to increase body count for nothing, I decided to take it slow, be sure of myself, and a firm commitment to get the most from sex instead of just ‘managing’ it. So, after establishing that the big ‘O’ was not actually a myth, I started exploring. I got a mini sex toy that vibrates, played with it using different turns and twists until I got what I was almost sure was the ‘O’. Funny thing is, before this time, I didn’t know what an ‘O’ felt like so I had guessed that little tickle I felt when he did this or that to my body was the almighty ‘O’? Maybe it was that dull pain+pleasure I felt when he was thrusting away? Or that feeling I got when he bought our first tickets to travel to Seychelles for a holiday (I was pretty sure this came closest… (-_-).
Having established what works for me, best feeling will be to get it from a human, yes? Well, just at the right time, current boo comes along and ticked most boxes a girl hopes for in a man so I hoped the other department will work out too. We settled into this nice routine of ‘Netflix’ (without the chill) or hanging out for a couple of weeks with no pressure for sex which kinda bothered me a little but I did not mind per se. Then one weekend *insert tempo music*. It started with those slow, safe and NICE kisses we had been practicing for the last few months. This time however, his lips and tongue were working their magic, my body started telling that story. . . I stretched and stretched (I didn’t know I could do yoga!) It’s like something inside me was twisted so tight then released abruptly to its former state (I am honestly trying to describe it in words). It was scary at first because this was intense but it felt so good! After I visited the promised-land-of-‘O’ twice that night, I realized that we hadn’t even had sex yet! The best part? He did not ask if I had come, he just had a huge smile on his face. A man who knows what’s up… Sexy!!!!
Let us just say, I now understand why some girls are so annoyingly protective of their man because this ‘O’ can make you forget your destiny and dignity for a few minutes! After I got lucky, I think I need to do the charitable thing and share the technique to help some brothers here get that girl to join the 60% club!
Disclaimer: I am not a pro and everyone is unique so learn what works for your girl.
- Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay and more foreplay go a long way. Do you have food cooking? Is there someone at the gate? PHCN just brought light and you need to catch up on GOT 5? Are you paying for the sex? Are you worried about getting caught? No? Well, why won’t you take time to do this right? (Apart from quickies, those ones have a special lifespan). If you want to get her going then you have to take the time with your girlfriend.
- The magic is in the clit (I hear this is mostly the case but can vary.) I don’t know how much more I need to emphasis this. Just imagine that the clit is the genie in the bottle keep on rubbing it and the genie will jump out! Sadly, it looks like a lot of guys were sleeping in biology class because they go there and are lost. It is like looking for periwinkle in jollof rice but of course they will never find it. Please google it, take a mental image, and look for it on your girl(s) or ask your girl for direction.
- Take your time and lick and suck. You cannot go there, dip your head for 1 minute and come up fast for air like a drowning man. It can take good amount of oral stimulation ‘head’ to get an ‘O’ so please be patient, know and learn what works for her. You can alternate between using your fingers and tongue in circular, vertical and horizontal motions. Pay attention to the ones that get the best reaction from her.
- See ehn, to those guys using their tongue to poke the vagina and think that’s head, STOP IT. It can be part of the fun but no matter how hard you try, the tongue cannot be your penis.
- DO NOT go down there, spit on her clit and deceive yourself that she is all wet from your hard work. Nah!
- Don’t go down on the girl all teeth out, she is not a piece of ‘toozo’, you are likely to cut her and leave her feeling bruised.
- Some women can get an orgasm from penetration but from what I discovered, most won’t so please stop pounding harder/faster/deeper it doesn’t feel sweeter/sexier/better because you are not a sexual god and you cannot reach my esophagus from there no matter how hard you go.
- Do the all fours ‘doggy’ while using your fingers to stimulate the clit . . . double topping and that has been known to help!
- TOYS! I am not talking about those massive scary looking dildos. There are some discreet ‘pinky- size’ toys that can help and if you don’t have any or are too embarrassed to buy one, just use an electric toothbrush cause it’s the same concept. ( Please, use a new one.) Except of course you think you can vibrate consistently for 10 minutes (in which case we’ll think it’s epilepsy), invest in one for fun. Ladies, you can use a toy to learn what your body responds to and epp your man today!
This is by no means exhaustive and I know some people have had it good for some time now and are pros in giving and getting an ‘O’, please tell us what works for you.
Image via The Fertile Chick