He was a good man. He possessed rare qualities, that were desirable to all women, and ones which she had sought after for so many years. He was clearly a man destined for great things, who attributed his successes to the Lord.  And she saw that, indeed, he was a good man. But he was also a taken man.

After their first encounter, which she had rehearsed over and over in her mind, as she convinced herself that he was her soul mate, she became obsessed with thoughts of what might have been if she had met him first. She knew that she should let him go, and look for someone she could call her own. But her will was weak, and she frequently sought to be in his presence, and showered him with affection.

Because he was a sincere man, he treated her with respect and honour. However, even though he knew she too was an attractive woman, he was not a cautious man. He failed to see her attempts to seduce, and allowed himself to be flattered by her flirtatious advances. His pride was touched, and he was pleased to be desired again, in a way that he had not felt in a while with his beloved wife. He did not see that he could fall, convinced, as he was, of his own strength and sincerity.

It started with casual telephone calls, then ‘work-related’ meetings at lunch time. She was his friend, at least that was what he told himself, and there was no harm in enjoying the company of another woman. At first, he mentioned these ‘meetings’ to his wife, until he realised how much he desired the meetings. Then he decided that there was absolutely no need to disclose everything he did in a day to his wife. He had to work, and she understood.

All this time, his new colleague was encouraged by the possibility that she had not missed her opportunity after all.  Was he not choosing to spend his time with her, and showing so much delight in her?  Her dreams of happily ever after were awakened again, and she decided that he was very much available to her. She believed that the man she desired, was the man she would receive. She did not know that the good man she first saw was undergoing a transformation.

From their first kiss, which they both admitted was wrong, and promised would never repeat itself, the good man was changed forever. The once faithful and considerate husband was now a cheat and a liar, corrupted by his lust and pride. He was a double-minded man, who loved his wife, but could not keep away from his temptation. He became an unstable man, as he wrestled with his conscience over his infidelity. He was plagued by his desire for the other woman, until he had not only sampled her goods, but devoured her.  The seed had been sown… And it was going to bear its fruit – death.

The wicked woman, as she will be known, did not see that she had lost. She had not gained the man she sought, neither did she keep the man that was created by her envy. All she had succeeded to do was to turn a good man away from his wife, and bring their holy bond into compromise. Even as she saw her wickedness, she did not relent, deceived as she was.  Deluded, she believed that the man would still come back to her, after she succeeded in breaking up his matrimonial home.

But when he came to his senses, how he hated her!  He knew he had fallen from a great height, and that he was also to blame, but he loathed the sight of her. Though he tried to keep his wife from finding out, the wicked woman played her evil hand and confronted his wife. That was when the nightmare began for all three of them. It was also then that the wicked woman knew that she was, in fact, wicked!  When she saw that she was no longer desired, but hated, and that the angel she once admired from a distance, was actually just a flawed man, she came to her senses – albeit much too late.

Torn by this assault on her marriage, the wife had to make a decision. One she had prayed against for many years. While he waited to know his fate, the cheat was in torment at the thought of losing his beloved. The wicked woman stood alone, in greater misery than she had known before.

How deceitful is envy, to desire what is not yours.  Ladies, be warned!  If it is not yours, you cannot keep it – at least, not in the way that it existed before you forceably made it yours!  Gentlemen, be advised! Protect what you cherish. The devil will not ask your permission to invade, but if you are careless, you might as well send him an invitation…

Copyright © Ufuomaee

Responses

  1. Larz
    Lovely message. I am a little concerned though that the man was painted as a good man who lost his was and his concubine was the wicked woman. He didn’t seem to have taken true responsibility for his action choosing to blame and resent the other woman instead of owning up to his own screw up.

    Society need to start holding the party that recited the vows more responsible than those that did not.

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    1. Ufuomaee
      Hi Larz,

      I appreciate your criticism. The man was clearly at fault, but the woman came after him, and so she was more at fault. This is not the case of a man looking to cheat, but a man who made himself vulnerable by not being on his guard and protecting what he cherishes.

      As a woman, I have no intention of painting women as the wicked party. I know what happens, and than many men go out to cheat. This is not the case in this story. The lessons I am sharing here are obvious. I am addressing both the women who chase after married men and married men who make themselves vulnerable by not being watchful and setting boundaries in their relationships with other women.

      I think anyone can see from reading the story that the man was no angel…except in the eyes of the woman who sought him, until she discovered that he was just a man…and in fact had shown himself to be a rather weak one. There’s no need to make everything about men vs women and blame. Let’s take the lessons that apply to all of us.

      Sincerely, Ufuoma.

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      1. Larz
        I agree with the point of this message. This wasn’t man vs woman issue because of the story line but because of the words used to describe the man and the woman in this story. This is a sad reflection of our society.

        For example, I know of an elderly man (who has retired) who left his wife and kids to another woman younger than his eldest daughter. Everyone is saying the new younger woman has charmed him. But no one seems to remember they fact that when he also has several kids from another woman when he was younger (who sadly has passsed away now). So with all the evidence of his indiscretions (past and present), why is the new squeeze the wicked woman.
        We tend to have an unconscious bias that we really need to own up to. It is in the story we tell, the lessons we teach our children etc. When a woman cheats in Nigeria, it is her fault and an abomination but when a man cheats it is his lovers fault no matter how many times he does it

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        1. Ufuomaee
          I think you actually contradicted yourself, and missed the point of my story, and are still pushing your own bias on what it is I’m actually saying. You say it isn’t a man vs woman issue, yet your conclusion shows that that is exactly what you believe; that there is a bias in society and that is it evident in my story. Yes, there is a bias in society and no, it is not evident in my story.

          Your case study of a man who was previously a philanderer, who decides to marry another woman, has NOTHING on my story or my message. Every situation has its own issues and merits. Let’s stick to this one, when trying to understand what I am saying.

          In this particular story, the woman was wicked, because she chased after a married man. And the man was foolish for not fleeing temptation. Those two messages were communicated clearly.

          In any case that anybody (male or female) goes after a married person (male or female) that chaser is WICKED. And in any case that the married person falls for temptation, that person is FOOLISH. And in any case that a married person goes out to have an affair, they are both WICKED and FOOLISH. This is NOT a man vs woman message

          Sincerely, Ufuoma.

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          1. Larz
            I seem to have offended you here in voicing my opinion. I apologise if this seems like a personal bias to you because it is not. I am responding to your write up where you referred to the woman as wicked and to the man as making a mistake. I have gone back to read your story and nowhere did you refer to the man as foolish. There is a chance you intended to but forgot or feel it is implied (which i didn’t get). Either way, I have picked up your story as is and responded to it the way I kno bst.

            The example I gave above about the man who left is wife was showing an everyday Lagos example where even if the man is clearly at fault, the blame is still laid on the other woman or even worst the woman he cheated on. I felt it was relevant as it was another example of a cheating woman. But we can agree to disagree. If you prefer I don’t comment on your post anymore please do so say or if my method is what you dislike, i am happy to seek feedback.
            Thanks
            Larz

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        2. Ufuomaee
          Hi Larz,

          No, I won’t prefer that you don’t comment on my posts anymore. Like I said in my first response, I appreciate your critique. But I don’t have to agree with it, and I think we can both appreciate that.

          My problem with your critique is that it takes away from the message I am passing across. Other people read the story and carried away the lessons I was sharing, and your critique poked holes in it, by trying to say that I was implying something I wasn’t, because it is a problem in society.

          I have agreed with you that it is a problem in society, that there is a bias and women are often blamed…but not in my post! If you are coming in defense of this woman being called “wicked”, perhaps you don’t know what wickedness is. For a moment, forget what is written about the man, and consider the woman. She knew he was married, she went after him anyway. When he dumped her, she still confronted his wife! Is she wicked or not?

          Now, let’s look at the guy. He is busy minding his own business being a good guy to his wife. He doesn’t cheat, he doesn’t chase women…and then this woman comes, and he is flattered by her attention. And he isn’t smart enough to know that he could be at risk, until it is too late, and he is giving in to temptation. Because I didn’t call him “foolish” specifically, doesn’t mean that I didn’t expose his foolishness! I exposed it. And he is referred to as a cheat and a liar! Do you want me to call him wicked too, to make it even?

          In this scenario, no, the man wasn’t wicked! The Bible says that “the RIGHTEOUS will fall down seven times and rise again” (Prov 24:16). This was a good man who fell…never mind what normally happens in society. My story is addressed to the good men, to encourage them to guard their homes. I am not writing to the philanderers who habitually cheat on their wives! Even though he is not wicked, he was foolish. If he continued in his sin, he would have been wicked, but he came to his senses, and yes, he was rightly angry at the woman who tempted him.

          Get this, Jesus said that “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks will come, but WOE to the one through whom they come!” (John 17:1). That tells us that those who seek to break up marriages are worse than those who fall for their temptation! Whether they be male or female. The marriage can be repaired, and it is up to the wife (in this case) to decide if she can forgive.

          Please make sure your comments actually reflect the message being communicated, and doesn’t take us away from appreciating what is being said. That is what I found offensive about your comment. It wasn’t constructive but destructive.

          Sincerely, Ufuoma.

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          1. Larz
            Thanks for your feedback. I will endeavour to incorporate it into my comments going forward
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