Ever Been Stood Up?

Opinion

Nobody deserves to be stood up, it happens and will definitely continue to. Of course, it’s acceptable if some kind of emergency came up that trumped your date. But, according to Barnes, if a guy you like stands you up for any reason other than forgetfulness or an emergency, you owe it to yourself to ask what his deal is and reevaluate his potential.

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According to urban dictionary,  “To get stood up” or “To be stood up” is; To have gone on a date, except to find that you’ve been left by yourself because your date never showed up. Or to have made plans to for a date and when its almost time, you message your supposed date but it seems he has dropped off the face of the earth. No calls, no messages, so you don’t know if you should carry on with preparing for the date or just not bother.

Now, it’s like the three stages of grief. First, is denial; you make excuses for him, maybe he will still call, or something happened. Then, Anger comes (bear in mind anger includes feeling embarrassed, enraged) But why? Why should you allow someone – who obviously isn’t ready to be an adult – the chance to get under your skin?; you are mad you canceled all your plans for him. You can’t believe it. Doubt sets in, you wonder if maybe you said something wrong or maybe he wasn’t just that into you. Acceptance finally arrives, you just got stood up. It’s normal, it happens to people and you just became one those people, deal with it.

I am not going to write about how you can’t deal with getting stood up, believe me, I might not be the best person to do that. As if being single isn’t difficult enough. People even doubt your single status, they are always like “I can’t believe you are single”, like seriously, why? Is it your single? Imagine the reaction when you now tell them you got stood up, now that’s another day’s story. We all know that dating isn’t easy, and being stood up can surely cause your manners to go out the window in favor of rage and embarrassment. Take your pick. All you can pray is you don’t take it out on the person that doesn’t deserve it.

Now I am not saying there can’t be good reasons for your date to be a no-show, but then there should be a better way to handle things if an emergency comes up. I am no saint, I believe I probably have stood some people up in the past and maybe not in a nice way, but I think I must have passed a message across. Communication is a wonderful thing you know. It might not have been an effective communication but it is still communication. Dropping off the face of the earth and the showing up after 24hours with some cock and bull story, big no no! You could be shot for that. After you probably spent all day thinking about your date, from the clothes you’ll wear to the conversation and canceling on your friends. It’s completely embarrassing to have to confess to friends over lunch or drinks that you actually got stood up.

Nobody deserves to be stood up, it happens and will definitely continue to. Of course, it’s acceptable if some kind of emergency came up that trumped your date. But, according to Barnes, if a guy you like stands you up for any reason other than forgetfulness (I wonder who forgets they have a date though, sudden amnesia?) or an emergency, you owe it to yourself to ask what his deal is and reevaluate his potential. Otherwise, it just sets a bad precedent. You can decide to write that guy (or girl) off. Unless they give you the most eloquent apology or make the grandest gesture, eff em. Remember, there are tons of people out there who do want to spend time with you. This is a planet with a population of about 7-billion people. Not all of them are terrible. Move on.

Finally, if run into them outside before you get a chance to hear their own side of the story, don’t be like me and pour hot coffee down their pants, I get passionate. You should really try and hear them out, if you can. Remember, we all get stood up and you aren’t alone.

Responses

  1. 100% Pogonophile
    I know this so well. I once dated this man child that stood me up last min all because he claims his mom asked him to take her somewhere. Before all this a close pal of mine invited me on a movie date at d cinema and I turned it down as I intend seeing the movie with Mr. Man. You wouldn’t believe about 2hrs later my pal called me to ask where I was as d movie is about to start and she can see my bobo with his friends at the ticket stand. I told her it can be him as he’s running errands. She laughed in my face and I felt super stupid as she even went over to greet him. He called me much later to check on me and to tell me he ran into my friend at d cinema after he finished with mumc. Ha! ojami lara je! I left after the last stand up episode.
    I tried. But I cant deal with disappearing acts.
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  2. folarin
    As if being single isn’t difficult enough. People even doubt your single status, they are always like “I can’t believe you are single”, like seriously, why? Is it your single?

    happens everytime i tell people esp the female friends, like they are waiting to be convinced, nowadays my response to the status question is “what do you think???”

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