I Am Extreme

Opinion

“I don’t know what living a balanced life feels like When I am sad I don’t cry, I pour When I am happy I don’t smile, I glow When I am angry I don’t yell, I burn The good thing about feeling in extreme is When I love, I give them wings But perhaps, that…

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“I don’t know what living a balanced life feels like

When I am sad

I don’t cry, I pour

When I am happy

I don’t smile, I glow

When I am angry

I don’t yell, I burn

The good thing about feeling in extreme is

When I love, I give them wings

But perhaps, that isn’t such a good thing

Cause they always tend to leave

And you should see me when my heart is broken

I don’t grieve

I shatter”

– Rupi Kaur

This is me spelt out in words.

I have no inkling what in-betweens are all about. I am extreme. I either go all out with it or not even bother to start with.

I am fresh into a relationship and all I have been hearing from friends is how much I seem to be giving too much too early (this has nothing to do with sex). I have been told to lay back a while longer, not to give my all yet. Examples have been thrown around, forgetting that relationships are not a one-size-fits-all type of situation. What works for A certainly won’t work for all.

“She waited it out till she was sure, see as she’s happily married now”. “Be less emotionally expressive, he shouldn’t know you like him too much, he’ll take you for granted” they say. I have often wondered what being sure about one’s partner really means. Can’t I be with him just because I have made a very conscious decision to love and respect him (after having ticked all of my necessary boxes, of course)?

To an extent, I understand their fears and concern. I mean I have experienced enough unpleasant heartbreaks to last me a life time already. But still, am I supposed to tweak being who I am because this relationship has to work by all means possible. Like holding back my love and care for a certain while guarantees a successful relationship? That alone is enough to stifle the relationship. It’s like choking on my own vomit, I have so much to give but I am expected not to because it’s too early for me to start showing it. I love love too much to start depriving myself of the beauty that love is.

So I ask, at what point is it ideal to show a partner you love and care about them? Is it true your relationship is sure heading for doom the moment you start giving your all too early? How early is too early? I would love to read from you in the comments section.

Responses

  1. Imaobong
    As long as it’s from the depths of you and it’s far from suffocating, I don’t think there’s anything called “Extreme” in this situation .
    The only problem is that most people won’t know how to handle what you’re giving, you’d be “too much”, they won’t understand.
    That’s why most people decide to make the mistake of turning it down till they indirectly begin to drain the power.
    Because heck, that’s more work, so if you don’t have to, don’t.
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  2. Lanre
    Hi,
    There’s nothing wrong with you, its just that a lot of people will not understand you, then take for granted the way you express your love.
    I do hope however that you will be extreme in cutting yourself off emotionally and physically of course when you notice that you are being taken for granted.
    Also, a lot of people did not grow up in affectionate homes, this doesn’t mean that they do not know what love is but it definitely impacts on the way they express love and understand it..you most likely will find someone that will match your passion, even if they’ve been stifled by nurture, you might be the one to show them that they can also be extreme, like you.
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  3. Comfort
    This is Me,I clearly relate with you. There is no stated time to start showing your true feelings besides you can’t even fight your feelings if it is true,for me I believe in giving my whole as long as we feel connected and I know in he feels same way too. It’s not to early at any point cos what if I decide not to show my feelings and he gets this idea that I don’t love him?
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