“I don’t know what living a balanced life feels like
When I am sad
I don’t cry, I pour
When I am happy
I don’t smile, I glow
When I am angry
I don’t yell, I burn
The good thing about feeling in extreme is
When I love, I give them wings
But perhaps, that isn’t such a good thing
Cause they always tend to leave
And you should see me when my heart is broken
I don’t grieve
– Rupi Kaur
This is me spelt out in words.
I have no inkling what in-betweens are all about. I am extreme. I either go all out with it or not even bother to start with.
I am fresh into a relationship and all I have been hearing from friends is how much I seem to be giving too much too early (this has nothing to do with sex). I have been told to lay back a while longer, not to give my all yet. Examples have been thrown around, forgetting that relationships are not a one-size-fits-all type of situation. What works for A certainly won’t work for all.
“She waited it out till she was sure, see as she’s happily married now”. “Be less emotionally expressive, he shouldn’t know you like him too much, he’ll take you for granted” they say. I have often wondered what being sure about one’s partner really means. Can’t I be with him just because I have made a very conscious decision to love and respect him (after having ticked all of my necessary boxes, of course)?
To an extent, I understand their fears and concern. I mean I have experienced enough unpleasant heartbreaks to last me a life time already. But still, am I supposed to tweak being who I am because this relationship has to work by all means possible. Like holding back my love and care for a certain while guarantees a successful relationship? That alone is enough to stifle the relationship. It’s like choking on my own vomit, I have so much to give but I am expected not to because it’s too early for me to start showing it. I love love too much to start depriving myself of the beauty that love is.
So I ask, at what point is it ideal to show a partner you love and care about them? Is it true your relationship is sure heading for doom the moment you start giving your all too early? How early is too early? I would love to read from you in the comments section.