How I Became A Monogamous Ho

Opinion

After years of successfully detaching feelings from sex, having sex with someone you’re batshit in love with is a high like I’ve never smoked. There is something else I experienced for the first time that I didn’t even know existed, we can just sit and chill doing our own thing, not having sex and it is so lovely.

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It has been a long time since I have been on these streets, too long but I believe I am back.

Hi, my name is S, and I am here to testify to the goodness of Hausa d*ck.

In 2017 I was on a f*ck-fest, and it was hella lit. I stumbled on some guy who in my pre-teen years I had always imagined would be my first. Now we were both grown and 14 years after we started having sex. It was the most convenient thing in the world. He lived not far from my office, and after doing it twice, he gave me a key to his place. Never have I ever enjoyed morning sex the way I did with this person, let’s call him Congress Man. We were waking up at 7 in the morning, having that energetic-my-day-is-off-to-a-great-start- morning sex and making it to work at 8. It was a great arrangement until this Hausa man walked into my office one afternoon.

I’m not one to pay attention to yellow men, I like men dark-skinned and tall, but this fabulously dressed light skinned man was such a beautiful creature. After a little FBI recon, I found out his name; it was an unusual but interesting name, we’ll call him Zander Lu. I got his number and called his office, FORTUNATELY for me, he knew who I was, had seen me – see him.

We started talking, and he was always super professional and formal during our conversations which were a bit uncomfortable for me. I needed him to ease up, but that took a while. I liked him, he was cool, and for the first time in ages, I didn’t want a man just for the sex. I knew I legit liked him as a person and not a sexual object because I wasn’t counting the seconds till we smashed. I decided to give him some space because he wasn’t easing up. A few weeks later, after I hadn’t reached out in ages, he called me. This was the first time,  conversations before that had been entirely textual. Thirty-nine minutes we spoke on the phone was fun and comfortable, and he was much more relaxed than he had ever been with me.

We kept talking for several weeks; it was clear that he was in no hurry to start something up and that was cool. Also, I was still getting laid on a regular, so I was in no hurry either. He had to travel out of the country for a week, and during that one week, I missed him immensely. Usually, we’d meet up for lunch during the week, and I cherished those moments when I could leave my office and just watch him eat and talk about his day. During his week away, we had both established that we were attracted to each other and this was when I had my first sexual thought about him. I was giddy with excitement when he told me he got his secretary to book us a hotel and I was to meet him there later on a Saturday after he landed. The Friday night before, I decided to take a risk by surprising him at the airport. The look on his face when he strolled out of the airport at almost 11 PM and saw my tiny ass waiting for him was priceless. He hugged me for what seemed like 10hours and told me how delighted he was to see me.

Back at the hotel, I was a nervous wreck. I didn’t know if it was going to be awkward, we had never been alone before, heck! We had never even kissed before, and I didn’t know if sex was on the table. He was an absolute sweetheart throughout the night, and then we finally kissed. It was like I was a teenager all over again, at this point I knew I had feelings for him and that I was utterly screwed!

Fast forward to months later, he’s even more incredible than I thought in the beginning. He is different from any other man I have been with (shout out to all the Yoruba, Benin, Ibibio, Efik, Itsekiri men who paved the way). With him, I experience sex on a different level, because I ACTUALLY care about him. After years of successfully detaching feelings from sex, having sex with someone you’re batshit in love with is a high like I’ve never smoked. There is something else I experienced for the first time that I didn’t even know existed, we can just sit and chill doing our own thing, not having sex and it is so lovely.

Yes, I decided to write this because it’s Valentine’s day and I’ve become a mush fest.  I’m a monogamous hoe now guys, who would have ever thought. I firmly believe that if I don’t ever have to meet or date anyone besides Zander Lu, I will be just glad.

Surely I’m not the only sappy in-feelings person in the house today; anyone want to join me gushing about the person they are with?

Responses

  1. JanJan
    Welcome back S! You’ve been missed.
    I’m not sure how monogamy and Ho fit in the same space but kudos lol. I’m happy you’ve found someone. This post goes to confirm something Gabrielle Union wrote about in her book “we’re going to need more wine”. Why waste your life sitting and waiting for the one? Holding out on pleasure doesn’t guarantee any of that. It shows up when you’re busy living your life.
  2. Meka
    It was so nice reading your piece S. Indeed, you have been missed. If its awesome, i’m in no hurry to try outs out. i guess i’m monogamous too

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