Ladies and Gentlemen (but especially Ladies) of this not so humble piece of online real estate. I come to you with some questions that have really started to puzzle me in the last week or so. In these days of “Becky With The Good Hair,” and “Edible Catering,” it seems infidelity is once again in the spotlight. The thing that I find most peculiar about the subject is not so much the frequency of it in the infodrama cycle that passes for news these days; rather, it’s how people react to it.
Firstly, one thing that never ceases to amaze me is how the alleged “other” woman pretty much always seems to get most if not all of the blame in these matters. It was true for Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton back in the day, it’s true for this poor Zimbabwean woman who had hot oil dumped on her for having sex with a married man, and it’s allegedly true of Rachel Roy and her past relationship with Jay Z in the recent Lemonade debacle. Yet somehow, the men who are also complicit in these things get to go scot-free. Everybody is all about female solidarity right up until someone yells cheater in a crowded instagram account. Nobody really seems to care whether or not the other woman had any previous knowledge of the guy’s prior relationship commitments and responsibilities. This makes me wonder why the woman’s guilt is just assumed until she’s proven innocent, and even then, she’s usually still considered guilty. I mean, I’m not genius or anything, but that seems like it might be a big thing to find out before sending someone to the gallows.
(Aside: Rachel Ray, the definitely innocent woman who got dragged into this Lemonade drama, should just go after Jay Z for real. I mean, she’s already been accused of the crime…. She might as well get something out of it. LOL JK.)
Secondly, if this is such a problem, then why don’t more people, particularly women, take proactive measures about their relationship, like Magun for example. For those who don’t know, Magun is an ancient form of charm/talisman/incantation often used by Yoruba people in particular to prevent infidelity or potentially catch their cheating spouse in the act. Recently, Battabox was on street asking people about Magun. One thing that struck me about it is that the host seems to ask only men about their use of the object to prevent infidelity in their spouses. Interestingly enough, at least one man in the video admits using the thing on his wife while simultaneously having affairs with other women. All of this begs the question: do women use stuff like magun on their spouses?
I mean, this whole post is taking the piss sha but I’m kinda serious. I want to know. Ladies, do you use magun on these your guys that clearly have no qualms about their egregious double standards. Is there some kind of rule that prevents women from being able to use these things? I mean seriously, some of you women go around wasting your energy beating up on each other because some guy was thinking with his small head and not the big one. Yet the same idiot will have the audacity to use a charm on you to prevent your infidelity all the while continuing business as usual. What kind of unabashed fuckery is that? And why do you let these guys off the hook soooooo easily as if there’s no way that these otherwise intelligent, usually rich and powerful men didn’t know what they were doing when they tripped, fell, and……well you know the rest?
So ladies, if you think that your man is cheating on your with “Edible Caterer” or Becky, follow these simple rules:
- If you suspect your significant other of infidelity, get some evidence first. Everybody leaves a trail somewhere.
- If you really feel the need to take drastic action, then maybe you should consider using something like Magun. Chances are, he has already used it on you
- Conserve your energy for the real guilty person. Don’t waste needless energy on innocent people. (This is why it pays to follow rule number 1.)
Disclaimer: To reiterate, I was mostly fooling around with this post but I do have some serious questions. In case you must know, I don’t believe in magun. LOL #OluwaIsInvolved. I personally think Magun’s purported effects are likely based on a sort of psychological placebo effect, but the scientist in me would love to run some randomized controlled trials to see if the hypothesis is confirmed. Someone please fund my research.
Also, to members of the Beyhive going after all the Rachels in the world, some of you are clearly not thinking straight. This isn’t the first time Beyonce has sang about infidelity in all the years that she’s been with Jay, so why is this time more indicative of Jay’s guilt than any of the previous songs? Also, how do you know the songs aren’t drawing inspiration from the stories of other people that she may or may not know? For example, her father is a notorious philanderer who’s been alleged to have fathered multiple children out of wedlock so can how can you be so sure that the song isn’t about his relationship to her mother?