Lemonade, Magun, and Other Questions About Infidelity

Ladies and Gentlemen (but especially Ladies) of this not so humble piece of online real estate. I come to you with some questions that have really started to puzzle me in the last week or so. In these days of “Becky With The Good Hair,” and “Edible Catering,” it seems infidelity is once again in…

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Ladies and Gentlemen (but especially Ladies) of this not so humble piece of online real estate. I come to you with some questions that have really started to puzzle me in the last week or so. In these days of “Becky With The Good Hair,” and “Edible Catering,” it seems infidelity is once again in the spotlight. The thing that I find most peculiar about the subject is not so much the frequency of it in the infodrama cycle that passes for news these days; rather, it’s how people react to it.

Firstly, one thing that never ceases to amaze me is how the alleged “other” woman pretty much always seems to get most if not all of the blame in these matters. It was true for Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton back in the day, it’s true for this poor Zimbabwean woman who had hot oil dumped on her for having sex with a married man, and it’s allegedly true of Rachel Roy and her past relationship with Jay Z in the recent Lemonade debacle. Yet somehow, the men who are also complicit in these things get to go scot-free. Everybody is all about female solidarity right up until someone yells cheater in a crowded instagram account. Nobody really seems to care whether or not the other woman had any previous knowledge of the guy’s prior relationship commitments and responsibilities. This makes me wonder why the woman’s guilt is  just assumed until she’s proven innocent, and even then, she’s usually still considered guilty. I mean, I’m not genius or anything, but that seems like it might be a big thing to find out before sending someone to the gallows.

(Aside: Rachel Ray, the definitely innocent woman who got dragged into this Lemonade drama, should just go after Jay Z for real. I mean, she’s already been accused of the crime…. She might as well get something out of it. LOL JK.)

Secondly, if this is such a problem, then why don’t more people, particularly women, take proactive measures about their relationship, like Magun for example. For those who don’t know, Magun is an ancient form of charm/talisman/incantation often used by Yoruba people in particular to prevent infidelity or potentially catch their cheating spouse in the act. Recently, Battabox was on street  asking people about Magun. One thing that struck me about it is that the host seems to ask only men about their use of the object to prevent infidelity in their spouses. Interestingly enough, at least one man in the video admits using the thing on his wife while simultaneously having affairs with other women. All of this begs the question: do women use stuff like magun on their spouses?

I mean, this whole post is taking the piss sha but I’m kinda serious. I want to know. Ladies, do you use magun on these your guys that clearly have no qualms about their egregious double standards. Is there some kind of rule that prevents women from being able to use these things? I mean seriously, some of you women go around wasting your energy beating up on each other because some guy was thinking with his small head and not the big one. Yet the same idiot will have the audacity to use a charm on you to prevent your infidelity all the while continuing business as usual. What kind of unabashed fuckery is that? And why do you let these guys off the hook soooooo easily as if there’s no way that these otherwise intelligent, usually rich and powerful men didn’t know what they were doing when they tripped, fell, and……well you know the rest?

So ladies, if you think that your man is cheating on your with “Edible Caterer” or Becky, follow these simple rules:

  1. If you suspect your significant other of infidelity, get some evidence first. Everybody leaves a trail somewhere.
  2. If you really feel the need to take drastic action, then maybe you should consider using something like Magun. Chances are, he has already used it on you
  3. Conserve your energy for the real guilty person. Don’t waste needless energy on innocent people. (This is why it pays to follow rule number 1.)

Disclaimer: To reiterate, I was mostly fooling around with this post but I do have some serious questions. In case you must know, I don’t believe in magun. LOL #OluwaIsInvolved. I personally think Magun’s purported effects are likely based on a sort of psychological placebo effect, but the scientist in me would love to run some randomized controlled trials to see if the hypothesis is confirmed. Someone please fund my research.

Also, to members of the Beyhive going after all the Rachels in the world, some of you are clearly not thinking straight. This isn’t the first time Beyonce has sang about infidelity in all the years that she’s been with Jay, so why is this time more indicative of Jay’s guilt than any of the previous songs? Also, how do you know the songs aren’t drawing inspiration from the stories of other people that she may or may not know? For example, her father is a notorious philanderer who’s been alleged to have fathered multiple children out of wedlock so can how can you be so sure that the song isn’t about his relationship to her mother?

Responses

  1. Morris
    Lovely write-up.
    but the scientist in me would love to run some randomized controlled trials to see if the hypothesis is confirmed. Someone please fund my research.-who will be the subjects of this trial?
  2. Northern Princess
    I’m just surprised to know that people between the ages of 21-45 still use things like magun. Why please?
    If you suspect your partner is cheating, you can end the relationship and not resort to gluing people’s privates or making the man crow like a rooster, somersault 10times and then he dies. Isn’t that too much drama?
  3. Seriously...
    Me, I am just here for the comments oh. I personally would like the answers to the kweshuns posted by OP.

    “Sips ginger tea and grabs a handful of Chin-Chin”

  4. bomboy
    Come self, this magun thing, is it really true? I mean… Has anybody here actually witnessed it? Cause I know there’s a scientific explanation called “penis captivus”, which is rare but existent.
    As for the crow and the somersaulting… Ain’t seen or read anything bout that. Heck, you’d need rooster rehearsals and probably a gym instructor first.
    1. Kolawolek
      Magun is real o. Don’t go thinking its just a myth. Although our generation doesn’t embrace it much, its potency cannot be denied.
      1. Skeptic
        Yeah it’s real alright, as real as the white unicorn with diamond studded horns penetrating you as you read this, don’t go doubting it’s potency. Magun my foot.
        1. Kolawole
          I certainly won’t drag it with you. I know a story of a young corper some years back who slept with a villager’s wife. The villager had been hearing rumours of the corper and his wife been seen together, and he put magun on her. The rest is history.

          It is a wicked world we live in. Don’t underrate it. Just live wisely.

          1. Skeptic
            Lol what? You know a story? Wow, I did not know that. I’m so sorry to have doubted you. I’m now a firm believer in the power of magun, all thanks to your succinct anecdote.

            I’m curious though, were you like deliberately holding back that story just for skeptics like myself? So when we arise you can go bam! In your face!

  5. Ray
    Lol this seems like Tola’s least serious post.
    See ehn, this infidelity thing, I believe any woman who assaults another woman for cheating with her man lacks self-respect. It’s annoying how most women like to ignore the real culprits- men and bounce on the secondary culprits or victims- other women.
    Loool I’ve never seen magun work but I believe it exists. In fact, according to Yoruba movies, there are diverse classes: ‘magun majaata’ ‘magun mamu-garri’ ‘magun maje-adiye’ 😂😂😂
    A professor of mine, a veteran cardiologist, once said he had a theory that manifestations of magun were actually fatal features of cardiovascular diseases not previously diagnosed.
    That Beyoncé issue ehn, I believe Jay really cheated. And nobody can make me believe otherwise 😒
    1. Kels
      I think it’s harder for most to face the fact that the man who swore fidelity to them has broken that oath. Pouncing on the woman seems an easier route to take,especially if they’ve been suspecting for a while.

      Posted from TNC Mobile

    2. Skeptic
      Hi Ray,
      I don’t know about men being the real culprits and women being victims. I like to think both parties are equally guilty, except for special cases, say like when a yoruba demon is involved and one party is oblivious to being a side chick/nigga.

      I agree with you though on the silliness of attacking the other woman or man. You didn’t get into a relationship with that person, you should take up the issue with your partner. There might be exceptions though, say maybe the other person is supposed to be a friend or something like that. Bottom line is, they’re no absolutes in this thing, each situation is unique and requires it’s own unique approach, can’t be glossing over all of em.

      1. Optimus Prime
        I don’t even think both parties are “equally guilty.” Women cheat more than men – it’s just that while men are generally sloppy about their marital affairs or boastful about it, women mostly tuck theirs under wraps and no one would ever find out.

        This creates a perception that men do it more since they are mostly the ones getting caught in the act. Women almost always like to claim victims because it’s rarely in their nature to take responsibility for their bad manners.

        1. Skeptic
          I’m sorry but your entire comment just comes off as sexist. Women cheat more than men but are more adept at covering it up? If they’re so good at it, how come you know about it? Just seems like a baseless and prejudiced allegation to me, no facts or to back it up, just your biased opinion.

          It’s in the nature of women not to take responsibility for their bad manners? Is this just another opinion of yours or you have something to back this up with? I wonder what women did to you, you need to chill bruh, just because there’s some bad women don’t give you the right to generalize, if you hate them so much maybe try being gay and leave em alone.

          1. Optimus Prime
            “If they are so good at it, how come you know about it?”

            Because, my dear, I am privy to information that you are intellectually incapable of finding. Let’s just leave it at that.

            Not too long ago, a DNA expert in Lagos found out 50% of Nigerian firstborns are illegitimate children. Perhaps your non-sexist intelligence quotient can tell us how that came to be…….

            Let me guess, the women got taken advantage of by incubus in their dreams.

          1. Optimus Prime
            Cheated on me? You wish. Let’s just say I see through the fabric of deceit and pretence. I don’t get fooled by the tears and the feigning of innocence.
    3. Omotola Ajibade Post author
      I’m not saying that Jay didn’t cheat. It’s possible that he did, but we have no evidence of it. I’ve always found it a little ironic that right after he did “Big Pimpin” was when he found Bey and she changed his life. Does anyone else remember “Me give my heart to a woman/Not for nothing, never happen/I’ll be forever macking.”

      In her father’s case, well, it’s a little hard to argue with a child who shares your DNA.

      1. Adore
        All I’ve been saying! We don’t know if Jay Z cheated, there’s no proof. And this isn’t the first time Bey is singing about infidelity and all, I wonder why lemonade is more of proof than all the other songs

        Posted from TNC Mobile

  6. Steavihn-Uzochukwu
    “….but the scientist in me would love to run some randomized controlled trials to see if the hypothesis is confirmed” <—This killed me!!!

    But seriously though, men cheat a much as women but don't get any stick for it primarily because the society we live in (African and non African) believe and accept that the man will cheat.
    I had a girlfriend who said to me "It's okay, I know you're cheating on me, just don't let me catch you" Fam, she gave me a hall pass as long as she didn't see any trails.
    Men cheat. That's the reasoning behind every RachaelRoybashing so lynch the woman because she should know that the man is a cheat and absolutely cannot be sincere when he says he's unattached.
    I don't believe in Magun but ladies, if he cheats, get out of that relationship. Beating/shaming the other woman isn't going to help you.
    Who beating ep?

  7. kathybabe
    Magun is real o, I had a distant cousin who did the whole somersaulting and crowing thing after sleeping with an older married woman. My mother had to travel home to see him at the local herbalists where he was being treated. As for the Randomized controlled trial, make sure its a double blinded one, so you can recourse to plausible deniability when people start somersaulting.
  8. zammy young
    Hello y’all im a mehn but im of the opinion that men cheat like shit compared to women.
    In a relationship, the woman acts/responds more maturedly than the man. She is often inclined to making the relationship work out, especially if she feels really comfy with the man.

    But we men are more adventurous in nature or to put it hashly we are whores and ‘these holes ain’t loyal’. *in Chris Brown’s voice*

    As for mangu, guys, ‘daris devil o! There’s evil and dark forces in the world but darkness & light don’t blend. Although i’ve never seen this charm nor its work but i’ve been around in this world for quite a while & i knw shit happens.

    Peeps check out this ad site amd open an account with em, they pay you as you generate traffic to their site.
    http://visit2revenue.com/?ref=41657

  9. Morris
    Okay, so, for everyone that doesn’t believe in magun – Is it correct to assume you also don’t believe in JAZZ, cos that’s exactly what it is – Jazz.
    1. Omotola Ajibade Post author
      No, I genuinely do not believe in Jazz. You’ll need to show me a lot of good solid evidence that it works before I believe. And I don’t mean stories you heard about a friend of a friend of a second cousin or something.
  10. Morris
    Oh Tola, i’m fine with you. You already put the scientist information. I am interested in hearing from the likes of Optimus Prime

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