The Three Biggest Lies Single Ladies Tell

Opinion

Disclaimer: Please I accept no responsibility for any resemblance to anyone and I do NOT imply that ALL single ladies tell these lies. These are just my observations from my everyday life… Enjoy!!! I was in a conversation  with a friend  recently  when these thoughts came to my head. I won’t say she was lying but…

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Disclaimer: Please I accept no responsibility for any resemblance to anyone and I do NOT imply that ALL single ladies tell these lies. These are just my observations from my everyday life… Enjoy!!!

I was in a conversation  with a friend  recently  when these thoughts came to my head. I won’t say she was lying but she was leaving many things unsaid. I had written “Lies Successful People Tell” and those lies are buried in their books or their paid speeches.  However, with single ladies, you don’t have to stress yourself to hear these lies. You just need to have a brief chat with any of them and boom!!! One of these lies will be heard.

Without further ado, herein are the LIES that flow from the mouths of our pretty ladies these days…

1. A MAN IS NOT MY PROBLEM RIGHT NOW.

You are done with your post graduate studies and now you have a great job, drive a nice car and foot your bills and you have hit the big 3-0!!!. You are no longer fit for the prom. By our societal standards, you should have been taken home to mama.  Your last few relationships ended because  the guys were fuckboys. Jide was so intimidated by your achievements so you were constantly reassuring him that he was still the man in the relationship. He left and, like a moonwalker, Okafor slid into your life. Okafor was like an aphrodisiac; useless outside the bedroom. Time won’t allow us to discuss Hassan whose fine face was his only claim to fame. He had a harem of ladies but like a retired athlete, you can’t compete anymore.  Now when a lady has been through same or slightly similar scenarios above, you can forgive her when she says “a man is not my problem right now”. Sometimes, when I hear a lady make this statement, all I hear is “Can I just get a man so you people will let  me be?”.

I understand society might put so much pressure  on women and be less so with men. This imbalance might put a lady in some defensive mode such that she begins to live in denial, shielding herself emotionally from desiring a man. Next time I hear you say “man is not my problem”,  I would be left with no choice but to say “wee you kip kwayet?”.

2. I AM NOT SLEEPING WITH HIM.

Usually, it shouldn’t be our business  which Adam is eating your forbidden fruit but occasionally, we get into personal conversations  with our BFFs and then we usually  get to spill the beans. However, for some reason, I know some babes who still hide the fact they have been going under the sheets with a particular dude. Maybe your friend doesn’t like him, maybe you are not proud of him but that doesn’t mean you are not screwing each other? After all, is it their screw?

3. I DON’T CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY.

This lie isn’t exclusive  to single ladies. We are all guilty of it. I hate to generalize but as humans, we are rational beings. We care!!! We can mask our emotions but when we are  alone in our private space, we reflect.  We are able to analyze situations and know when the tide is for or against us.

With single ladies in particular, insinuations about the “M” word can’t be avoided in our society. When you are on the phone with your mum, after the catching up, when she says “how far?”, you know she isn’t asking about Lagos traffic. When you attend a family get together and that aunt’s greeting is taking too long, you know where she is heading. It could be worse if you still live with your folks. When your mum begins to introduce you to her friend’s son, you know she isn’t just being a good host. You know!

Maybe you were supposed  to come to work on a particular  weekend and you came late just like  the other two females in your unit. Tokunbo said her mother in-law had been in hospital so she had to give her food before coming to the office. Chioma’s baby cried all night and her temperature went up this morning, so she had to stabilize her before coming to work. Your boss has heard those two excuses. Just as you walk in, your boss tells you the reasons they came late and sarcastically asks “who made you come late”. It will hurt!!! Don’t lie to me….

I could have written more but I don’t like lengthy articles. I want to hear from you. Do you agree with my assertions above, have you been guilty of any or know any one who is? Have I missed any common lies that should be included on this list? Please express yourself…

Responses

  1. Sussy
    A man is not my problem now and I honestly don’t care what people say lol, but at the same time I am not shy to say I do want a serious relationship because though I have friends there is just something about having that One special person. Nice article Dickson
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  2. A
    why can’t a single girl say…I don’t care , a man is not my problem now and i aint sleeping with no-one and you would think it is a lie? last i checked, A man isn’t my problem, I don’t think about it anymore…it hurts not to have that special person, but no…just like hoping some day i’d get to drive the Range rover I dream of, is the same way I hope I meet my Man some day…but no, its not a headache.
    Let me not start on the no-sex…why is that always hard to believe though.
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  3. vanilla
    I was going to read this and waka pass or hiss but i am tired. Everyday…. ‘singles girls this….single girls that! Can you at least face single guys issues too? Maybe, just maybe, the article will have some depth!!!

    This kind of article that starts off sounding like they understand societal pressure and how its unfortunate but then go ahead to state the very reason(s) why people feel pressured and cant communicate without being misunderstood is the problem.

    Your idea of lies and my truth……

    1. A MAN IS NOT MY PROBLEM RIGHT NOW -Honestly, the reason isn’t even that deep. i was just tired of everything and his presence started to irritate me (begii begii person) which kind of cascaded to everything ‘man’. It didn’t help that my friend just had a miscarriage cause a man (husband) beat her , my aunt filed for divorce cause ‘man’ gave her AIDS….so, u see? A man at that moment was not my problem and the same can be said for a lot of ladies who have used that line. This does not mean we will not come around to liking another guy who will marry us, have free access to our body, plant sperm and make us push a human being out of our vagina, cook for him, clean while doing all we can to keep his wandering eyes focused on us. Yeah….marriage is the ultimate for the single lady isn’t it?

    2. I am not sleeping with him – This is the easiest one sef. I tried but between his tiny-curved -to- the- side- dick and some friends who will not keep their nose out of where my Vagina is planning to go is the reason why i did not sleep with the guy. Again, it is not that deep, pls keep your body count let me keep mine….until i sleep with you, there is no need to report my self to anyone. Besides, i am helping the ministry of the guys who gave horrible head, to the other who was all muscles with a 2 inch dick and the pathetic married man who tried his luck but i took him to church instead. You see? this lie is likely cause we doing soemone a favor.

    3. I don’t care what people say – Do i need to even say anything here?!! Well….’fuck them’!

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