Lord, That I May Marry An Artsy Man…

Opinion

Dear Lord, It’s your daughter. I’m here again, asking for the same thing my mother asks for every night – a husband. Not for herself o. For me. She can’t be greedy. She already has my father. But today, I’m not asking that he be rich, or handsome, though those would be nice additions, especially…

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Dear Lord,

It’s your daughter. I’m here again, asking for the same thing my mother asks for every night – a husband. Not for herself o. For me. She can’t be greedy. She already has my father.

But today, I’m not asking that he be rich, or handsome, though those would be nice additions, especially considering that I asked for those the last time I made this prayer.

I’m also not asking that he be tall and blessed with a beautiful smile – ok, maybe I’m asking that as well, cos those are quite important.

But today, more importantly, I’m asking that he be an artsy man. I can hear you questioning my priorities, but a girl knows what she wants right at this moment. Besides, you know that I might change my request tomorrow depending on whatever it is that is the reason for my changes today. Please, don’t get impatient with me. I’m still your daughter.

Ok, so back to this husband.

I want for him to play a Guitar so he can fill my days with sweet sweet music. He’ll need to have a good voice too, so that when he’s strumming away, I can have something melodious to listen to. It would be a total anti-climax if he opens his mouth and croaks along.

Or he could be a Poet, so I can swoon just listening to him read out his sonnets of love to me. Hopefully, his poetry will bring in some useful money. But then again, that’s why I also asked for him to be rich the last time. So that base is covered.

I want for him to be a Painter – not the ones that paint houses please, otherwise my mother will send me packing. I want the kind that paints those overly complicated but widely acclaimed paintings, those ones that artsy people ooh and aah over, the ones I never understand what all the fuss is about but that you’ll find with a price tag of 5 million naira and above at upscale galleries.

I want for him to be a Sculptor, so I can watch him mould things into shape and into life. Plus, he’s bound to have gentle hands which will no doubt give me lots of pleasure.

I want for him to be a Writer, so I can get lost in the worlds created by his imagination and maybe find a piece of me in every story he writes. I would be his muse. Naturally… *rolls eyes*

Or can he be an R&B crooner? So he can serenade me every single day and sing songs about me, and tell the world how I’m his ‘iyawo’ and his ‘ololufe’ and his ‘aladun’ and all those other sweet things that I will be to him. Please don’t assume that I want a Yoruba man, just because I’ve used only Yoruba endearments. I just don’t know their equivalents in other languages. Although Yoruba men can be romantic sha o, and they know how to show a girl a good time. But with all these ‘demons’ running around, one has to be careful. If you do decide to give me a Yoruba man, please make sure you cast out the demon in him before you hand him over. I know you’ve got my back though, so I’ll leave it to you.

Maybe he could be an actor – I can’t decide between those theatre style actors or the blockbuster movie kind. The theatre style ones are more artsy with their craft and get recognized by the more ‘tasteful’ elite who find theatre more becoming of their high status. But they don’t make so much money. Hmmm. Those movie ones on the other hand, they’ll have too many girls following them. Maybe not a good idea. You know what Lord, I’m not sure I want an actor, before he will come and be acting film for me in the house.

How about an Architect? You’re probably thinking that’s not so artsy. But there are some psychedelic architects that design buildings that are works of art. That’s the type I want. The one that will be getting plenty international accolades for outstanding design. The one that people will be begging to come and design their buildings for very handsome fees. Yes, that type.

You know, I wouldn’t mind a comedian. I love to laugh, so a comedian might be just what I need. Imagine laughing all the days of the rest of one’s life? I’m tickled just thinking about it.

And what if he was a fashion designer or illustrator? You know those ones that use African influences in their modern creations, the ones that ‘put Africa on the world stage’, with their minimalist, yet culturally rich pieces (only you know how they manage to achieve such contrasts. Nothing about our culture is minimalist, but what do I know?). It would be nice to be among the first to wear them, and maybe I might even get my own unique pieces, seeing as I’m not skinny like the models he’s bound to use.

He could also be a graphic designer. What do they do by the way? I’m not so sure, but they’re awesome at Photoshop. And that’s got to be a good thing, right? Can’t go wrong with visually appealing stuff.

Or you could send me a photographer. Not the kind that come to take unwanted pictures at events; those guys are just so annoying. I want one of those that have perspective, whatever that is really. But he’s got to be in high demand because he does fantastic work! It would mean that I can have some really beautiful pictures taken of me. Note to self: I would have to let him know which is my good side.

Sigh! That’s as much as I can think of tonight Lord. I trust that you heard me, and you probably heard my mother too, though I don’t know if she has any specific requests with regards to the man I will marry. She’ll be glad that there’s a man in the first place.

One more thing just before I sleep; would it be too much to ask for you to reveal his face in my dreams? It would definitely be much easier if I knew the face I was looking for. What do you say? Too much? Yeah That’s probably pushing it.

Ok, I’ll stop now. And will wait on You.

Amen.

 

Photo Credit: Glogster

Responses

    1. MissO Post author
      So are you saying that i cannot find one man with one of these characteristics? What would make someone be looking for all these in one person? Mtschew, you people can just burst a girl’s bubble sha.
  1. Larz
    Lol- you know what is funny. Even if God gave you everything on your list, you will divorce him because he will be too busy (doing all these things to love) to love you
    1. MissO Post author
      I don’t want everything on my list o, just one. They are options of artsy men, whichever one God decides to give, minus the actor sha. 🙂
  2. G B
    Er, you might need to aim a bit lower, o.
    I, a guitar player, can’t sing worth a damn.
    My friend, Femi, excellent picture-taker/photographer is not in high demand. Perplexing.
    A guy I know, Yunus, does not use Photoshop at all. He swears by CorelDraw and GIMP.
    But, we all tell mean (and hilarious) jokes about our workplaces on Friday nights. I guess we all count as comedians, eh?

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