Much Ado About Toilets

I know of people who have resorted to extreme measures just to find relief. A colleague of mine told me she had to pee in a bottle and carry home to dispose of it? My mouth was as wide as yours when she told me. I couldn’t believe it.

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NB: For the purpose of this article we shall use the term Toilet or Loo as opposed to a restroom.

One of the things I always look out for in any place I am going to live or spend a long time in is THE TOILET. I know you are wondering why.

The struggle to find a clean decent public toilet is REEEEAAAAL. I tell you! There is nothing as heartbreaking as going to an event or outing and you cannot find a clean toilet to ease yourself. This kinda explains why some people just do it in one corner and everywhere ends up smelling.

I always find it hard to cope in places where there isn’t access to clean toilets even if it is not so clean at least let it will be manageable and pleeeeaaasssseeee have water, it is very essential. In all those days in secondary school and university I couldn’t do the famed shot-put because my body always had a way of shutting down – nothing just comes out – no matter how hard I tried. As a coping mechanism, I made friends with a guy who had his own place off-campus, so I became co-tenant and shareholder because of…toilet.

When I got to NYSC camp. Kai! I suffered.  For the three weeks I was there, no clean toilet at all. I cannot recall ever using the loo aside the usual number 1, number 2 was reserved for days I had hustled to use the clinic toilets or left camp for my other personal rendezvous.

What about when I started working? The hustle for clean and accessible toilet continued and is still continuing. The first few months I started work, I had to take a cab to a fast food joint around my office to use the loo or go a long mile to my aunt’s office. I even had to make friends with the manager of the car pack facility so I could use their privately managed restrooms. I frequented that place so much that the man started calling me his wife and asked me on a date. Abeg o!!! Na toilet I dey come use ooo I no need boyfriend. I eventually had to reduce my toiletly visits in order to avoid stories that touch.

The lengths I have gone eh…what of when I became a frequent toilet customer at a fast food joint that one of the sales girls asked me “Aunty, you no go buy something today?”  I had to buy something so that I would not be turned back when next I go there.

I stay in the Northern part of the country which is famous for its heat waves and I need to stay hydrated. So staying hydrated means going to the loo often. Going to the loo means managing the office toilets or going to the fast-food joint or going to meet mister lover boy.

Don’t get me wrong, the toilets in my office can be clean sometimes and water go just full everywhere but most times it is horrible, especially when there is no electricity. No electricity equals no water which in turn means no toilet.

I know of people who have resorted to extreme measures just to find relief. A colleague of mine told me she had to pee in a bottle and carry home to dispose of it? My mouth was as wide as yours when she told me. I couldn’t believe it. I have heard other ridiculous stories and believe me you don’t want to know.

Due to the many infections that one could get from using barely clean public toilets, as a rule of thumb, I always carry my disinfectant liquid and bleach in small travel bottles in case the toilet no just make sense. That way I can adequately annihilate any unseen infection-causing bacteria.

All I am saying is let there be clean public toilets and good management of them. And when you use them please and please keep it clean for the next person. I don’t want to see things I cannot “unsee” and smell things I cannot “unsmell”. Thanks.

I know that we all have had our fair share of bad toilet days, so I’ll love to read your experiences and comments. I will also respond to them. Thank you.

Responses

  1. Oiyk
    Heheheheeee! I can soooo rlate with this. Trust me my standards for toilet is higher than high. But i have also met some folks that i think are more obsessed than i am regarding it. As far as the water is running in the toilet and there is no water on the floor too when i want to use it, i am cool with it. But trust me, that toilet must me CLEAN…. smell nice, not stuffy, not necessarily a luxury toilet fitting or setting but let it just be hygienic for use. I don’t even let my kids use the toilet in my newly rented apartment. I had to get them a potty and also find myself one till i remodel the place inside out. It can be like that yes. Even at work i can’t use the toilet there cuz its the annoying of places. To worsen matters, it is now shared with people i have no idea of. Can’t wait to get transferred from here to another branch.
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    1. Princess Rolee Post author
      @oiyk Please, where can we find such toilets which such specifications “As far as the water is running in the toilet and there is no water on the floor too when i want to use it, I am cool with it. But trust me, that toilet must me CLEAN…. smell nice, not stuffy” aside from your house?
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  2. Katniss
    Lol let’s pray the next branch isn’t worse. I usually always have a razor blade in my bag(for various reasons) and one of the things I use it for is to slice off the top of a plastic bottle and pee in it. ????????
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  3. Bl_nkChq
    This could be a serious pain point.I can relate with the need of clean toilet facilities. I can remember back in secondary school boarding days when we had to pound sh#@ during early morning chores…disgusting scene,because we had few toilets compared to the number of students.
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    1. Princess Rolee Post author
      @bl_nkchq I can recall doing that too in boarding school, it was horrible. I think it’s a rite of passage for any boarding school student. For my school, after years of pounding, the school realized our predicament and made provisions for more toilets and employed cleaners to do the chores.
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  4. Sassy Bahristah
    Lol. The struggle to find clean toilets is real. Especially in public institutions. In uni, we were doin shotput steady. Cos it was either that, or use the smelly hostel toilets. Thank God we are done with that stage of life!!
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  5. Larz
    Na wa oh. In some places in the world, ppl take what you ask for as a minimum standards but for naija…
    That’s gown my cousin was telling me how she asks certain questions in interview to access a company (esp small ones) liquidity after falling victim of companies that tell stories on payday. Surely these things must be at the very least a minimum level of acceptable standard? If they empower Health and safety authority (with whistle blowing opportunities) so that’s general public and / employees can report non compliance with photographic / video evidence. Once they start fining ppl, we will begin to see positive changes.

    Oh am I bringing too simplistic in my thoughts?

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