How Much Is Too Much In The Court Of Public Opinion

One thing I will never understand is why people on the internet feel so bloody sanctimonious about people they’ve never met and situations that they know nothing about. This is a trend that seems to be ever worsening in these days of the internet. People seem to want to be outraged at something and then…


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One thing I will never understand is why people on the internet feel so bloody sanctimonious about people they’ve never met and situations that they know nothing about. This is a trend that seems to be ever worsening in these days of the internet. People seem to want to be outraged at something and then they want to be judge executioner and jury all at the same based on very little.That’s why this thing with Kyrie Irving, Kehlani and PartyNextDoor has been bugging me lately. I think the way people are acting is pretty problematic. So let’s start with the break down.

Kehlani is this singer-songwriter, who apparently makes pretty good music that most people haven’t heard. She used to date this guy called PartyNextDoor. He’s an equally talented and equally unknown musician. (That’s at least relative to me because I had never heard of these people before this whole thing started, but if you’re doing songs with Chance The Rapper and Drake respectively, then it’s clear that I am not one of the cool kids anymore.) She broke up with him and started dating her long time friend Kyrie Irving (yes, the NBA superstar). That relationship was public for a while, but then they ended things privately and she started dating PND again. He posts a photo them in bed together on instagram and then Twitter lost its damn mind calling her a whore and all sorts of terrible things until the poor girl attempted suicide.

From my perspective, this all started because of PND. I don’t really care about the photo itself, even though that was a crucial point, I think what he said in the caption definitely fueled that fire, “After all her shenanigans, still got the R&B Singer back in my bed.” Somehow, the internet seems to have given him a pass for being an asshole. At the point when he posted the photo, the world didn’t know that Kehlani and Kyrie had broken up, but in my opinion, that caption makes it seem like she was cheating on him. In my opinion, that’s some really immature shit.

And then there’s incredibly hypocritical Twitter mob who attacked this unfortunate lady. Firstly, why people feel the need to insert into lives of people they don’t know only hurl malicious invectives is beyond me. Twitter spent the better part of 24 hours insulting this woman until she decided, “f*ck it, I refuse to live in this world any longer.” Seriously, how do people get to a point where they’re willing to deride a person to the level that would make attempting suicide an appealing option?? And a lot of those same shitheads came back with bullshit “stay strong” messages when it became clear that Kehlani wasn’t doing well mentally and emotionally. I worry about the ways in which in we treat each other online because everyone seems to be very quick to pass judgements about things they know nothing about. Imagine what could have happened if she had actually been successful.

I think the worst part about everything is what that (name that you call someone who pisses you off when you’re on the path to getting right with the Lord), Chris Brown said about her. “There is no attempting suicide. Stop flexing for the gram…..”

I rarely despise anyone, but Chris Brown is definitely on the list of people for whom I abhor almost every facet of their existence. I don’t wish evil on anyone, but I would laugh comfortably and remorselessly if a little kid Katt Williams’d his ass.

At least for his part, Kyrie Irving has been a class act towards Kehlani in this situation. He seems to be the only one behaving with any kind of maturity and decorum.

Everything about this situation begs the question, has the court of public opinion gone too far?? Why are we so quick to judge people and relationships that we know nothing about?? It’s not like we’re sharing their beds, so why do we seem to be so concerned about creating problems for what could be an already tense situation.

P.S.: Since we live on the internet, I would recommend reading a book called “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed” by Jon Ronson. I have seen a lot of praise for the book in the last few months. It’s on my reading list for this year, but I haven’t read it yet.

Image via Ace Showbiz


      1. Tola
        Now that you have opened that can of worms we cannot ignore. Lol. No Men In Black memory flash can erase that.

        Posted from TNC Mobile

  1. Larz
    It has been a while since you posted something Tola.
    I agree. People are so quick to judge on something they know next to nothing about. Also, we need to be careful to keep our lives private. I think nowadays, most people forget that they can exercise their right to privacy. It is not uncool to want to keep things private. At best, people will be entertained by your public profile. In most cases, they dont have anything of value to add

    Posted from TNC Mobile

    1. Tola
      I tell you. I have been putting out fires and chasing my tail of late. I’m working on getting back in the groove

      Posted from TNC Mobile

  2. woyi_oc
    sigh. Interneet bullying is what it’s called, yeah? Mam, maybe celebs need to consider not sharing details abt their personal life online…
    1. Larz
      It doesnt stop with celebs though. Even the average jo/joanna is putting their private life online and trending as mini celebs

      Posted from TNC Mobile

      1. Nnanyielugo
        , @woyi_oc, see enh, it’s this thing called validation.
        People constantly seek approval from strangers about everything that goes on in their lives, right or wrong, needful or needless. From that photo of you in your new office, or that picture of you shirtless (supposedly to show abs), to you in gymwear, pictures of new cars, jewelry, and boyfriend(s).

        Seeking approval from strangers over the Internet is akin to dining with the devil, he (and they) have long spoons, and even longer memories.

        If you make it a habit of seeking validation from people who you have absolutely no idea how their minds work, you should be prepared for some kind of vile behavior and bullying even.

        Basically, if you cannot stand the heat, get the ‘Buhari’ outta the kitchen.

        Posted from TNC Mobile

  3. glamkeys
    Publicity stunt, the only reason i know who kelani is is because thegame mentioned her in one of his posts on instagram he complimented her in his own way however distasteful it might have seemed to some people but he’s a gangster what do u expect, she just jumped on the issue called the game a paedophile, that he doesnt respect women and trended on shaderoom for a while i guess that wasnt enough next thing i know somebody is trying to kill herself because she was called a hoe, somebody that can stand up to the game for saying he thinks her p***y is tight even though he hasn’t touched her, it doesn’t just add up if she wants to be famous she should be prepared for such things
    1. Toby
      I find so many things wrong with this comment.

      First, The Game saying- online, probably for the edification of his fans- that her “pussy is tight” (even though he’s never even been with her) is not a compliment. It’s harassment, and it’s fucked up, and yes, it shows a strong disrespect for women. I can’t believe anyone would think it was a compliment. She didn’t “jump on the issue” as you put it, she defended herself, and rightly so.

      What you say about her being strong enough to challenge him but not strong enough to withstand the social media onslaught doesn’t translate. I’d like you to think about thousands, millions of people who don’t know you or your story, calling you a whore and a slut for just living your life. It’s of note that she wasn’t even the one who put up the picture that caused it all. Standing up to one asshole and staring down a virtual crowd are not the same.

      Lastly, it’s unfair to suggest that if you want to be a successful artist, you have to put up with bullying and harassment. Not everyone is cut from the same cloth of mental fortitude. That incident was probably the straw that broke the camel’s back and sent her down a depressive and suicidal path.

      How about we not talk crap about people we don’t know? That would be infinitely better and easier.

  4. Ngamsi

    Finally someone has adequately captured some of irritation i feel when people speak so authoritatively on things they know nothing about. It drives me crazy when i see so much vitriol directed at anyone (especially celebrities) over tidbits of information about them. Until someone knocks on your door with their story and asks for your two cents, kindly shut the fuck up.

    If you care for the e-book Tola, i’ll be happy to send it to you.

    1. Tola
      Thanks for the offer, but in the last few years, I have come to realize that I am an ardent supporter of team audio book.

      Posted from TNC Mobile

  5. Dr. Baruu
    *standing ovation*

    Awesome article. You Kat William’d this issue Bro. The whole cyberbullying and trolling ish. Folks haven’t learnt to differentiate between the real life and the internet (Yo Gotti)…

    This whole ish is not phuck-worthy one bit. We’ve also taken this public opinion.issue to far. Every Tom, Dick and Harry wants to contribute to every discussion on thr internet. I wonder what Amadioha thinks of this?

    Folks be stayin’ grinding on a female and still be pinging: “girl, you better get ur grind together and stay off dick till yo ass is married”. But you giving some girl dick yo’self.

    It is really pathetic…

    The only vice that cannot be forgiven
    is hypocrisy. The repentance of a
    hypocrite is itself hypocrisy – William Hazlitt


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