Okafor’s Conundrum

Opinion

Monogamy is a farce. Who says you were meant to love one person alone? I mean, out of seven billion, nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine people in the world, is it possible to have just the one soul mate? Think about it for a minute- or longer if you wish.

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Life is supposed to be simple; at least that’s how I like to see it. I am good guy. I pay my taxes, mind my business and sometimes even help the old lady next door empty her trash. She has arthritis, so it’s a bother lifting the bag. I don’t mind.

But sometimes, life tries to make things a bit complicated where they shouldn’t be. My name is Zechi Okafor and I have story to tell. You see, I have what many people think is a problem, but I don’t see it as such.

It’s simple; I love two women.

Monogamy is a farce. Who says you were meant to love one person alone? I mean, out of seven billion, nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine people in the world, is it possible to have just the one soul mate? Think about it for a minute- or longer if you wish.

Oluchi and Adesua didn’t come into my life at the same time, but somehow they have rooted themselves so deep, I can’t fathom a life without either of them and I’ll tell you why. Both women complement me in a way that is impossible to love one in the stead of the other.

They are both beautiful beings with magnificent personalities, so you can imagine. Whereas Oluchi loves to stay indoors to watch a movie and cuddle, Adesua is the crazy, adventurous type. The life of parties, she can plan a bash to save your life. Adesua enjoys beach runs, paintball fights and speed drinking games. She’s also a stark raving football fan, so our match days are spent hurling insults at Lukaku when his fumbling first touches costs Man-U a game.

Oluchi, on the other hand, would rather go on slow evening walks. She listens to Ella Mae, and everybody knows Ella sings for girls who love forehead kisses and romantic poems. I mean, that’s beautiful right? Oluchi’s sweet voice feels like a warm ray of sunshine on a chilly morning. Who wouldn’t want to wake up to that? Her sensual lovemaking is a sharp contrast to Adesua’s fast, frantic strokes- both of which I am equipped to deliver satisfactorily.

The first time I realized this, I thought I had a dilemma. How could I choose one from the other when both women filled specific voids in my heart? So I did some soul searching; I even sought a professional’s advice. Was it possible to have feelings for two people at the same time? That was when it dawned on me; I was born with a congenital condition.

After much diagnosis, a kind doctor explained that I had been blessed with an unusually large heart. So much so, it was capable of loving more than one woman magnanimously. Why deny myself this beautiful gift?

I wasn’t asking for too much- just two people. While I could go on a rampant quest to woo and win numerous women like my distant cousin Okafor (of the Okafor’s Law fame), I have chosen to love only Oluchi and Adesua.

The moment I came to this realization, I have known inner peace ever since. My so-called conundrum, which bothers many a conscientious man, is simply a blessing in disguise. I am not an advocate of infidelity, far from it. I just know that having a bigger than normal heart isn’t such a bad thing if you can use it wisely.

Both women are happy, as am I. Why can’t we all just get along? The answer is simple, we can.

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