*******************
University Of Lagos 9 years ago…
*******************
Jade pulled Charles closer and spoke, almost whispering: “But you know you could have asked us to come back later. Sheesh. Every freaking where smells like sex in here” she rolled her eyes. “Don’t gimme that look, are you telling me you didn’t realize what was happening from the way I sounded on the phone – go jo”.  “I sure will, as soon as Kemi comes out.”

Jade moved away from Charles and almost sat on the bad but she suddenly pulled herself up, shot a look of disgust at Charles and then proceeded to take a seat on the chair placed by the reading table in the room. Immediately she sat down Charles burst into laugher scrunching his nose and pointing at Jade’s chair.

“Ewww ewww ewww Charles.”

Just then, Chioma and Kemi walked into the room also laughing. “No wonder this one is carrying chest up and down with his kini wrapped up in that thick towel “ Kemi made a gesture towards Charles groin area.  Charles responded by looking away. Chioma then walked towards him… “Awwhh.. Chacha baby, we’re only teasing but I’m sure Daddy won’t mind a threesome with his three favourite girls in the whole world.”

Charles looked at Chioma, disgust written all over his face but then Kemi cut them short with “Whooo hooo… threesome! Threesome! Threesome!”  Kemi continued chanting even as Jade walked towards her, grabbed her by the arm and began pulling her towards the door. “I’m sure the diva feels pretty much better now. Really sorry we disrupted your normal scheduled programming. I guess that’s what bestfriends do. We’ll be on our way now, thank you.” With that Jade shoved Kemi through the door while she yelled out “byyyyyeeee.”

“Threesome, really? What was that Chi?” Charles questioned. “Exactly what it was. A suggestion.” “Oh so now, we’re going subliminal on each other?”  Charles’ accusation seemed to fall on deaf ears as Chioma busied herself with tidying up the room. “Oh come on Chioma. We’ve been here before and you know where I stand. We’ve been together for well over a year now and I’m loving every minute of our relationship why would I trash this for something so unsure, something I don’t even want.”

“Oh I know Charles. I know you don’t want Jade. I’ve never doubted that. But the question is: does she know this? Has she heard those words from your mouth?” Charles looked away, he knew it would come to this. Chioma came to his side then. “Look Charles, I’m not stupid. I have ears, eyes… I know what all your friends and even the whole school was saying about you and Jade before we began dating. Everyone thinks I’m a fool but I’ve looked through the women in your past and I’ve looked into your eyes and even though I know you love and care for her like your own blood, I know you don’t see her in that way.”

“I know you think telling her will break her heart but Jade is much stronger than you think she is. I’m a woman. I know how it feels to be led on. She deserves better Charles. I deserve a better man, a stronger man. I’m sorry Charles, I just don’t think I can go on with this”

**********

*Ring *Ring… Charles’ ringtone brought him back to the present.
“Helloooo. So, how’s your date going?”
“Terrible much.”
“How so? Taiwo’s a doll ke?”
“More like two dolls!”
Kemi laughed. “What’s he saying?” Jade asked while tugging at Kemi’s sleeve. Kemi ignored her and continued: “You don’t say…”
“Indeed, I do say,” Charles sounded like he was trying to catch his breath before continuing, “the chic is crazy!”
“Erm… why does your voice sound spacey? Don’t tell me you absconded to the toilet of the restaurant again?” Kemi chastised.
“It’s a toilet alright…”
“Yes?” Kemi asked suspiciously.
“At her house.”
“And I shouldn’t be surprised, why?”
“‘Cause I’m a pig. I know this.”
“Affirmative.”
“Look I know but this is some twisted ish!”
“What? What is so twisted that you have to bail into the toilet?”
“Threesome.”
“What?” Kemi’s eyes almost shot out of her sockets.
“What?” Jade whispered at Kemi. The suspense was killing her.
“With her twin sister, no less!” Charles added.
“Taiwo has killed me,” and with that, Kemi burst out laughing. Jade had had enough. She shook Kemi furiously, pressing for an answer: “WHAT IS IT???”
Finally aware of Jade’s presence, Kemi put her hand over the lower end of her mobile phone and spoke softly into Jade’s face: “Let’s just say Taiwo didn’t let us down…”

***************
Charles’ Place
***************

“Arrrgggghhhh! Crazy! You guys knew?”
“Dude,” Kemi said, “we always know.” Jade replied smugly.
“Bloody saboteurs,” Charles mumbled under his breath.
“What?” both ladies asked, unsure of what he’d said.
“Oh nothing,” Charles lied. Kemi curled her eyebrow as if to say: “I don’t believe a word coming outta that pie hole!” “Seriously, I said nothing. I was only thinking aloud about Bukola Smith.” He lied again.
“Ahh Bukky,” Jade gushed, “Hmm,” her eyelids fluttered and she began to whisper into Kemi’s hear. Charles was very familiar with that look and it sometimes never ended well. This time around though, Charles was sure it would end in absolute disaster.
“But you saw this coming,” Kemi started…
“You want me to date Bukky next?” Charles guessed.
“Smart man” Jade replied.
“See these mad women.” Charles spat back. He was in the middle of a playful, drawn out hiss when his phone rang. He took one look at the phone and made to pick the call at first then hesitated.
“Erm… ladies. Excusez moi,” he eased himself into his bedroom and into the adjoining toilet while the phone rang. Once he was out of earshot, Jade looked at Kemi, “And who could that be?” “Damned if I know,” Kemi replied.

In the bathroom, Charles was pleading, “No, no, no. It’s not like that. I’m sorry. You know I didn’t want this but just give me a few more weeks. Promise, promise, promise.” He paused to listen to what the person at the other end was saying before he continued. “No. Haven’t mentioned it yet. Still not the time… It will be soon. Ah. Alright dear. Talk to you soon.”

He expected there to be questions awaiting him upon arrival. Secrecy was not a thing that enjoyed prominence between the three. He sat down and was greeted with blank stares.

“So Bukky Smith it is,” Kemi reiterated.
“Yes.” Charles said. “So no questions?”

“About what exactly?” Jade replied. It suddenly dawned on Charles that they were not in a curious mood and he was glad for that. At that moment, the doorbell rang.

“Ahn ahn, I’m not expecting anyone. Who could it be?” As he said this, Charles got up and made for the main gate outside the building. “Please hurry back … I can’t be late for my date with Mayowa.” Jade yelled at Charles. The moment he exited the living room, it caught Jade’s eye and she quickly tapped Kemi’s shoulder. All Jade did was say one word: “Phone” and Kemi was across to Charles’ seat in a flash; grabbing the mobile phone that Charles inadvertently forgot on the side stool in one fluid movement.
“Oya oya do quick, look the phone over before the cow returns!” Jade encouraged. Kemi looked at the phone and pressed a couple of buttons. She soon furrowed her brows:
“That’s weird…” Kemi hummed.
“What’s weird?” Jade perked up.
“Why would Cha-cha be receiving calls from Eno in secret?”

***********

Hey people. We’re almost there… If you haven’t been following the series, use this link here to read the previous episodes. OBFW is jointly written by @cikk0 and I and we’d like to say a huge thank you to the guys at Barows 21 for sponsoring it. Now to today’s magazine giveaway question:

What was the amount on the bill given to Charles after his first date at Derricks? The first person to copy and paste the sentence from the episode, which has the correct answer into the comment box wins. Please remember to comment with an original email address. Also, past winners are not allowed to participate in the competition holding the week after theirs. Good luck.

PS: I’m going to be putting up a major announcement tomorrow. You won’t want to miss it.

Responses

  1. minini
    Well, I need to talk to Kemi before I can give you the next name but wait, are you at Derricks? I’ve not had dinner and I can sure use some 30k spoiling.
    0
  2. minini
    sorry this is the righ answer: “Thirty-two k, five fifty, actually. I shook a little when I saw the bill…” Charles replied.
    0
  3. Iyamilele
    Okay….so who is Eno?? have we met this character before
    Now waiting for the next episode
    *What if Charles is bisexual* (excuse this random thought that just stupidly popped into my head)
    0
  4. tobicomm
    Gbemi! There must be some form of cheating here somewhere! How were u able to read and post a comment dis quickly?? Even before me dat I didn't read it??
    0
  5. ngeezee
    That betty's three-line post has me compressin and reading everything in groups of three lines. . .

    He expected there to be questions awaiting him upon arrival.
    Secrecy was not a thing that enjoyed prominence between the three.
    He sat down and was greeted with blank stares.

    . . 🙁

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  6. Yass
    Mr. Tools and cikko. Please answer my question. Why are all Cha Cha's ex-girls so readily available?
    Nobody's really fronting (apart from Chioma) and they don't seem to have moved on. Why?
    0

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