Body Count 101: Lesson 1 – Size Isn’t Everything

As a young woman in my early twenties who loves a good cocktail, f*cking and eating with no desire for emotional responsibility, let’s just say my body count has gone wayy up. How has that worked out for me so far? Mixed feelings. I have identified several things in the men and women whose bodies I have been privileged to explore. I’ll be taking you through the few lessons I’ve learned, and maybe you’ll have something to share with me too.

As you can tell from the title, today’s lesson is about size and how irrelevant it is. Let’s look at two case studies.

Case 1: U.Phalanges

Let’s just get this out of the way. Men with little dicks consciously or unconsciously tend to over compensate. Is that such a bad thing? I don’t know. I enjoyed being with U.Phalanges. We had great bants and he was a wealthy ass man in his mid-forties. When I first met him, I sensed he would be annoying but it didn’t really matter to me because I just wanted to f*ck and never call again. However, for some strange reason, I started to want to hang out… No, it wasn’t because of feelings – this girl is not about that life. The problem with hanging out, though, is that wealthy men sometimes come with loads of zeros in their net worth but also zero personality. As in, simple conversation, they can’t hold.

Luckily for me, U.Phalanges was wealthy and interesting. BUT. The f*cking… Not much to write home about. It was so sad. He had the kind of money that made me wet but not the dick to actually get me there. So. Unfortunate. I enjoyed being with him but he didn’t bring out the beast in me. I remember our first time – it was actually okay. My back was not blown out or anything but he was wearing these cute pink boxers that made me chuckle. He also did a good job of separating me from his home life. He didn’t wear a band, never referred to his wife and kids, cooked for me all the time and I eventually forgot he was a family man! He clearly cast the ‘oblivious’ spell on me and it worked.

He assumed his role as my lover and I never actually addressed it because he gave me the freaking world every time I asked for it. He anticipated my needs without even a mention from me. The benefits of having him were wild, fancy ass dinners, the cutest clothes, a couple of trips and his gold credit card ☺. He was completely aware that the f*cking wasn’t exclusive but he never bugged me about it. If anything, he gave me my space. I recall one time, I was afraid I might have caught something from someone else and he took me to a hospital to get checked out.

I respected him because he never tried to colonize me. He let me f*ck whomever I wanted. All he wanted to do was put smiles on my face whilst hoping that I’d let HIM have orgasms from time to time because I sure wasn’t getting any from him. I think he eventually realized this and decided to try a new approach. He moved his tongue down my southern regions and I felt sensations, sexual sensations that I never had from him before. With every flicker of his tongue, I hoped that f*cking him might actually be a worthwhile experience this time. The minute he tried actual sex, my mind lost it’s erection.

He was a good man but his net worth wasn’t enough to make me stay. I moved on because, considering the dick and boobs I had been through in my life, I deserved more. More girth, more length. I deserved a man or woman whose mere scent could wake my clit up.

U.Phalanges problem was not his size (or lack thereof). He was a good man and his wealth blessed my life though the sex… Well, it wasn’t that much of a blessing. His problem was simple. He didn’t try to learn.

Grade: 3/10. (I added a point for the cunnilingus.)

Case 2: La La Land

You might have inferred from the name that this man had the most magical fairytale dick I had ever encountered. It was so beautiful! Till this day, no man I have been with has matched his pace, length, girth or his sexy groans.

When I met him he was wearing a black band but it wasn’t on the fourth finger of his left hand so I dismissed it, thinking he had no wife. Turns out he did, but didn’t have any kids. Wife or no wife, he couldn’t keep his eyes of me. There was nothing holding me back, I didn’t take any vows so I could f*ck whomever I damn well pleased.

We started out slow. We didn’t even kiss until like the fourth time we went out and by that time I was already getting antsy because I wasn’t trying to get to know his favourite color or the kind of books he preferred to read before bed. I had caught a glimpse of his bulge one night at dinner and I really just wanted to smash. He wasn’t so familiar with having a female come on to him, especially as strongly as I did. He was stalling so I let him know that I wasn’t here to waste time, if there’s no dick involved then he could leave, shut the door behind him and never come back to my door step. The next day, he came prepared with a golden Trojan and we went at it.

La La made me realize that big dicks are over rated. On first penetration, it hurt like hell and the entire length of him didn’t even fit but we made it work to the best of our abilities. It ended up being wild and sweaty so it was great in the end. I loved when he moaned my name and not that of his wife. The next time, I finally got him to fit because my pussy was built for Dragon Dick and I rocked his world.

Sadly, La La got pussy whipped and tried to initiate feelings with the sex but I wasn’t up for it. The dinners and movies and sex was great but his talk of love wasn’t something I wanted to involve myself with. All I really wanted to do was just f*ck with no feelings.

Grade: 6/10. He had the size, but didn’t immediately know how to work it and took some time to get things going. Learn how to use your equipment, guys.


There you have it, guys. Today’s lesson is over. Whether big or small, size is irrelevant. What matters is what you do with your equipment. In our first case, we saw that someone with a small dick still knew how to please with other skills and in or second case, it was clear that our fictional female had to do more of the work to accommodate oga since he didn’t know what to do with the trailer in his pants. Over to you. Any lessons from your own body count roll? Do you agree or disagree with the “size isn’t everything” mantra? Let’s hear your thoughts in the comments.

  • Jade

    Hi S, been a while

    June 16, 2017
    • Ray

      Hi S and Jade. It’s been a while.

      June 16, 2017
  • Debloww

    Hello S


    June 16, 2017
  • Toby

    Really, No Inbetween?!??!!!
    But damn boo, i loved this piece soooooo much!!!

    I want more!

    June 16, 2017
  • Joe

    I expected one more case to balance it up

    June 16, 2017
  • Ray

    I agree size is irrelevant, there’s so much ado about big dicks, meanwhile they can be really uncomfortable and painful. Having a small dick is not really a problem to me, after all, I didn’t make the dick so can’t complain. Cluelessness about its use however, is unacceptable. The worst men are those ones who who have poor or average sex game but think they are amazing and don’t try to improve their skills. Lol it’s pathetic.

    June 16, 2017
  • Funmi Ogunlusi

    I think you were hard on Mr Phalanges. You greatly undervalued his skills – he definitely deserved more than one extra mark. So many adults don’t even know where the clit is, let alone working it correctly.

    June 17, 2017
  • She has a beast.
    I’m just here to point that line. Again

    June 17, 2017
  • Sss

    Ok I love this one ????

    June 17, 2017
  • jude

    Miss(mrs) s, first kindly be assured that there are some of us who know how to treat a woman RIGHT as regards her sexual fantasy. Although I often feel the fact that most ladies fake orgasm that tends to give the guy that feeling of “you’ve done a good job”.. Trust me it’s always impossible for a guy not to catch feelings if the sex is good

    June 18, 2017
      • Jude

        If marketing was the right word, then I think that was the point, and if you’re willing to buy am sure we can work something out…

        July 25, 2017
  • G B

    Acting as an advocate, if a guy told you he was inexperienced and was packing a three-incher (on a good day), how many of you women would stick around? Sex is something you get better at with time and practice, na.

    June 18, 2017
  • Lucy

    I’ll be looking forward to this every Friday. Please can the next update be longer? Please….

    June 18, 2017
  • Heisenberg

    I think the title of your piece should be “Yes size does matter but skills even more” cos that’s what I got from the write up. Just saying

    June 19, 2017
  • vanilla

    S delivered a good one as always!
    Personally, i think i will go with big/average(not massive) biko, if he sucks we can teach him. As far as i can feel you hitting the wall, it okay, its when you are not hitting anything…Houston, we have a problem. Lol!!

    In MY experience, I have realized small/average guys are the ones that really know how to love, be sweet and all just as S pointed out. These big package guys think their penis can do all and be all while they suck at almost other aspects. Question then is, do u want a great f**k with an asshole (i.e if he can use it) or do u want love with …’i go manage am’? Well, i go manage am wins it!!.

    June 19, 2017
  • Teeboy

    S….thumbs up.

    June 20, 2017
  • Teeboy

    @S….thumbs up.

    June 20, 2017
  • sirkastiq

    Long thing. Know how. Critical.


    June 21, 2017
  • JanJan

    Hi S, I beg to differ. Size is everything. I personally prefer a big penis and I don’t hide that fact for any reason. I read this post last week and I couldn’t find the words to say why I disagree. I still don’t think I’ve found them yet but I’ll try before tomorrow’s post.

    I don’t think I can word how big penises excite me. If you don’t have the skill to back it up, don’t worry, I got this. Just be clean and hard and i’ll take it from there. I think in the case of you and Phalanges, it was an issue of lack of “adequate” attraction. I’m not gonna say feelings because I know you don’t like them but I must say that the only time one doesn’t really factor size is when she’s in love or when the size fits her preference. Yes, I’ve been with big packaged men who didn’t know how to do shit but the issue for me was more the lack of attraction as time went on. Then there are those whom the mere thought of gets you wet like Niagara falls.If it was just a question of orgasms, then it really doesn’t matter because I’ve been with less endowed men who gave me orgasms. But my favorite escapades were with the titanic gifted ones and not Mr cigarette butt.

    So yes, any size can get you an orgasm, but when I pray for my future husband, I ask God not to forget that I like a big penis.

    June 22, 2017
    • bj

      …and a big penis you will get

      June 22, 2017
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