The Battle Lost

My skillful endurance and endless prayers were as futile as taking a knife to a fight with Hitler. The harder I fought, the deeper I fell in love with him and the deeper I fell, the easier I made her job. No matter how much he wanted to be away from her, he needed her to survive and the scent of her skin always chained him back to her post.

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“Baby I promise you, this will be the last time I’ll have to say this, I’m sorry I disappointed you again and I swear to you it’ll never happen. I’ll change. You mean the world to me and I can’t even begin to imagine a life without you. “ I bit my lip hesitantly as Andy babbled on and on.

“Please forgive me Jane” I stared into his bloodshot eyes and felt pity for him. I had to pull him out of the same ditch again but it was a burden I did gladly because I was compelled to save the one I love.

Although I was tired of listening to the same lines every morning and I was done making excuses for him missing dates and birthdays and events we had planned I couldn’t help but fall into the oasis in his eyes whenever he came running back with his tail between his legs.

The sad thing is that I knew whose arms he slept in all those nights he was away, she was a force I couldn’t contend with. It was heartbreaking that every night while I was sitting alone on a table for two, flooding my insides with red wine and wondering why I whip myself every time with the same disappointing pathetic cane of stupidity, he was with her; caressing her perfectly slim figure with his masculine fingers. Listening to her smoky whispers of everlasting ecstasy. She gave him the illusion of being a thrust away from ultimate satisfaction and she could keep him going all night till he passed out from inevitable exhaustion.

He often complained of his addiction to the smell of her, the shape she took against his lips; the beauty of euphoria that was conceived from their constant intercourse and I’d hoped to save him. I’d saved others from their demons before and snatching him from her polished claws didn’t seem too big of a task. Unknown to me, I had picked a fight with Bathsheba for her expertise in seduction had brought down walls and fallen mighty kingdoms.

I couldn’t complain about his affair with her because He was with her first so if anything, I should be the mistress.

My skillful endurance and endless prayers were as futile as taking a knife to a fight with Hitler. The harder I fought, the deeper I fell in love with him and the deeper I fell, the easier I made her job. No matter how much he wanted to be away from her, he needed her to survive and the scent of her skin always chained him back to her post.

“I love you babe, give me one more chance” he said with all sincerity and I could see it in his eyes ; he meant every word he just spoke.

“Tonight, lets go out to the lake and watch the swans swim while I caress your skin with kisses long due”. How could I say no to that? I was assured he wouldn’t let me down ever again and he had chosen me over her. I’d actually won the battle.

My perfume spat on the base of my neck the subtle scent of seduction and I chuckled hopefully. How long has it been since I knew a man? I was a few moments away from proving that “love conquers all” even a lifelong addiction.

I almost skipped to the lake and sat on a bench waiting for my love. After a few hours, my sense of reason told me to go back home, scrub the make-up off my face and cry myself to sleep like I do every other night but the goddamn believer in me was assured that he would be walking down any moment with a bunch of roses in one hand and a bottle of chardonnay in the other, completely free from her spell and so I sat back till the sun had traveled to Mexico and waited till the crickets sang their last hymns and till the lake was nothing but a pool of grey tar laughing mockingly at my naivete. Then I realized that I had lost the battle long before I drew my sword. For I knew he was in her arms with no other thoughts but “one more kiss to absolute ecstasy”. He would take all the kisses he could get from her hoping he wouldn’t have to come back tomorrow but knowing he had no willpower for he was already chained to her perfect hips.

I will however wake up tomorrow with swollen eyes from all the tears I cried from the battle lost to an idol carved by man; the cigar.

Responses

  1. Larz
    I knew half way true that the addiction is not another woman. But I never would have thought cigar. Drugs like weed or maybe alcohol but I don’t know anyone this messed up by cigar.

    Well done to the writer

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