THE FIRST TIME WE… FOUGHT
Subject: WhatsApp Chat with Jade
Yoooooo had to copy this out. Your girl has called a meeting. hehe. Look at the conversation we had. Raise your hand and swear an oath of secrecy before you read. You know that guy Jade just started seeing Last month…Turns out it might not be the fairytale ending we forsaw. We’re gonna be at hers this weekend. Brush up with your MIA ass. I’ll pick you up.
12:12, 13 Jan – Jade: haha, I know right. It’s been raining cats and dogs.
Jade: Car broke down so he suggested I spend the night at his so he would drop me at work the next day.
Amaka: See scope sha. “So he would drop you at work the next day”
Amaka: Don’t go and carry bele oh
Jade: Gosh Amaka…Why are you always so …….razz
Amaka: That’s your own…stop stalling…so what happened?
Jade: eh hen…I said yes o. Can’t be struggling when I have a boo thang.
Amaka: All I can read is sex. Biko carry on. Did you guys have sex?
Jade: Yes….we did.
Amaka: was it bad?
Jade: No…it was quite good actually…
Amaka: I don’t understand. That sounds good. Why did you call a code red meeting?
Jade: mehn…it’s long.
Amaka: If I wasn’t in a meeting right now I would be on my way to yours. Just to hit you.
Amaka: You better talk. The suspense is killing me.
Jade: Ok, ok.
Jade: A long time ago, in a faraway land. A princess lived with her one eyed horse.
Amaka: lmfao. Nigga I will stab you.
Jade: haha I couldn’t help myself
Jade: I packed my stuff for work and he picked me up from home.
Amaka: Make it sweet. This meeting is dragging on. Don’t leave out any detail oh.
Jade: The car ride was long. Like, maybe it was comfortable for him but I felt awkward.
Jade: He was just driving. Saying nothing.
Jade: I asked im to say something when I couldn’t take it anymore and he chuckled
Jade: Said he was enjoying the silence and ‘just being with me’
Amaka: Love mo.….love naya
Jade: lmao…you’re a fool
Jade: I don’t do awkward sience so I plugged my phone in and started playing music.
Amaka: omg…rap music
Jade: Lol…you make it sound derogatory.
Jade: It was Jayz…everyone loves Jayz
Amaka: I guess so.
Jade: He didn’t
Amaka: hot tears
Amaka: I’m about to die here
Jade: Nigga scrunched his nose and was like “Rap music?” Remind you of anyone?
Amaka: Oh my, I can’t imagine who you could possibly be talking about.
Jade: Haha, I can just imagine you saying that in that your one pound British accent.
Amaka: Don’t hate pls and pls.
Jade: Anyway. I defended Jayz’s honour then asked im if there was anything he wanted to listen to.
Amaka: You are really vexing for this h oh
Jade: lmao, please… this is an intense something
Amaka: If that’s the excuse we are sticking to.
Jade: Yes oh.
Jade: He sha started playing his own stash. It sounded like nacking spoon on a pot.
Amaka: lmfao…wth? What kind of music is that?
Jade: You know that music that they play in white clubs now…but not techno.
Jade: No! It’s like…..what’s that David guy?
Amaka: David Guetta?
Jade: Yes! The stuff he does.
Amaka: Oh lord. I need a new bff. House music Jade. House music
Amaka: Spoon on a pot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amaka: I’m dead
Jade: Lmao. It sounds like that jor. All noise
Jade: He was sha playing it and it was even worse than the silence. I just sat there.
Amaka: No, you should have come down.
Jade: Sigh. You are an idiot sha
Jade: We get to the house and he’s straight to business
Amaka: whoop…and now for our feature presentation.
Jade: as in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jade: Threw my bag somewhere and started kissing me like he was thirsty
Amaka: I’m sure he was. That’s why he wasn’t speaking in the car
Amaka: dry throat things.
Jade: Yet it was my throat that
Amaka: eh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That what? Ehhhhhhhhhhhh I will soon get kicked out of this office
Amaka: No way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No fucking way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jade: calm your titties. That happened later. I’m getting there
Amaka: I knew this wasn’t going to be a boring day. Please. DO go on.
Jade: where was I? Eh hen. So we start kissing and next thing I’m on the bed.
Amaka: smooooooooooth guy
Amaka: please oh God provide boo for us.
Jade: lmao. Touching me, you know every.
Jade: It was good sha
Jade: anyway…we sha had sex.
Amaka: Oh wow…thanks for taking te fun out of that.
Jade: Ah, the fun part cometh
Jade: I fall asleep
Amaka: lmao. Nigga put you to sleep. That kind of loving.
Jade: You know this!!!!!!!!!!
Jade: I wake up and he’s playing a game
Jade: I walk over to him and sit beside him but he pauses his game and makes me straddle him
Amaka: you know what they say about guys that pause their game for their babe
Jade: Lmao! That’s what I said. And he’s like “Anything for my gf”
Amaka: chai….love mo
Jade: Then I’m like… I didn’t know I was your gf
Jade: He pulls back and is like…DO you fuck every guy that picks you up from your house
Jade: Babe…I was like what ?????
Jade: Then he pushes me off him and starts raking. if you aren’t my gf what does that say about u?
Jade: Were you fucking someone else last night?
Jade: Should I go drop you at home so you can call him to come pick you up from work?
Amaka: what the actual hell?
Amaka: babe… are you lying right now? Seyi told you this?
Jade: Babe. I was sitting there mouth aghast but I couldn’t take it anymore so I hit him.
Amaka: oh shit. You shouldn’t have
Jade: I was burning inside. You should have been there.
Jade: I was sitting on the chair wearing only my bra and panties. He was standing fully clothed.
Jade: I’ve never been one for that body language bullshit but he was in charge.
Jade: I had an outer body experience. Like I was watching this happening and thinking…
Jade: Wow, she does look like a whore.
Jade: It sounds like a joke but Eventually I started feeling like a whore.
Jade: I was cowering in the seat and it seemed to be stroking the fire in him.
Amaka: stoking the fire not stroking the fire
Jade: lmfao. I swear you’re a fool. I’m spilling my heart here. You’re doing spellcheck
Amaka: I read stroking the fire and was thinking sex jor. Had to correct that.
Jade: Ok…stoking the fire. Whatever, he was sha vexing more
Jade: SO I hit him.
Amaka: please tell me e didn’t hit you back.
Jade: Hell no…he carried me.
Jade: He caught my hand after I Slapped him and used his other hand to lift me off the chair.
Jade: He carried me back to the bed and threw me on. I tried to get up but he pushed me back
Jade: Next thing I hear brrrrr…He literally ripped my panties of me.
Jade: I was still forming vex until I felt his lips touch me.
Jade: Seyi puts the e in head. I think we skipped the alphabets. Dude was differentiating down there
Jade: Integrating, solving with pi.
Jade: I went from angry to …hungry.
Jade: I wanted him to just ….come into me but he wouldn’t stop with his mouth
Jade: I think I came twice before he stopped…then i…
Jade: You there?
Amaka: I just needed a minute to pick my mouth from the floor
Amaka: Had to check under the table and shii
Jade: That’s when I gave him possibly the deepest bj of his life.
Jade: I didn’t know my Throat could take anything in that deep without throwing up.
Jade: Afterwards he apologized and said he only said those things cos he feels so much for me
Jade: and I’m his kryptonite so when I hurt him it scars
Amaka: Sounds like you guys made up good.
Amaka: so what’s the problem
Jade: After we had finished, as I lay in his arms. I was still shaking
Jade: But it wasn’t from the orgasms I had just had. It was hate
Jade: Amaka I turned to look at him and I hated him.
Amaka: I’m calling you now.
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