Understanding Your Partner’s Love Language

Recently I was reading a book and I kept smiling and blushing while reading, I’m very sure everybody in the house that day was like ‘what is wrong with this girl’. Eureka, Eureka, Eureka, I have found it!  I thought to myself. I really don’t know how to explain it but it was like I…

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Recently I was reading a book and I kept smiling and blushing while reading, I’m very sure everybody in the house that day was like ‘what is wrong with this girl’. Eureka, Eureka, Eureka, I have found it!  I thought to myself. I really don’t know how to explain it but it was like I found the secret to my life and I just couldn’t stop smiling.

Well, you hear some people complain: he doesn’t love me again, he is too busy with work, she can’t even hug me and when you enquire from the other person, they would say: I love her very much, I buy her gifts all the time, I clean the house everyday, I make sure his food is ready on time, WHAT MORE DOES HE/SHE WANT?

Do you want to know what more he or she wants? Now here is the secret – she wants you to love her in the right way or love him in the right way. People understand love as different things because we have different emotional make-up. Every single reason why I have gotten sad, angry, or hurt in the past is captured in this. It is not like they knew what they were doing was affecting me but I wasn’t just feeling loved.

Now, you hear some people say that if you really want to get a girl, you just have to tell her sweet things. Well, I can tell you its not everybody it works for. It works majorly for people who have “words of affirmation” as their primary love language. Well, for someone like that, if you wake her up with one of the sweetest message she could ever dream of, I bet you she will keep on smiling and thinking about you throughout the day????

For someone who understand love as receiving gifts and doesn’t get anything on her birthday, she would feel so unloved, like nobody cares about her or loves her. No matter how much you wake up every morning to tell her she is the sugar in your tea……blah blah, she won’t still feel loved because that is not just her language. The honest truth is that you just need to get her something no matter how little or large – just something tangible to capture your emotions at that point in time. ????????

There are some other people that just love when people help them do stuff. They just don’t want to work alone. This is called “acts of service”  stranger things have happened. This is what they understand love as and you just have to take them like that.

Now let us go to the next one – quality time. Does he or she just want to talk to you every time? Or be around you? Well, you would know if this is her love language if the happiest moment she has with you are the times she spends with you alone. She just wants to be with you even though you’re doing nothing. She values your presence more than anything. I find that people with this language hate the word “busy”. To love her, take her somewhere alone just to spend enough quality time with her, give her your 100% attention and you would make her feel on top of the world.

The last of this is Touch. Maybe that’s what he or she understands love as – kisses, hugs, holding hands. Just learn it. Really what is the point of loving someone if you are not loving them in the right way.

Here is the thing: everybody has a primary love language that works for them. Just look in deep: What is the pattern? When has she felt the most happy? Is it when you get her something or take her out or tell her sweet words? What does he or she complain the most about? Look deep then love him or her in the right way.

I  hope you guys enjoyed reading this! Please leave comments on other love languages I may have missed.

Responses

  1. M
    Then some are the combination of all, Touch, Time, Message, and Gift. Making it either all or nothing. What do you do in that case?
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  2. Toby
    I require all of the above. It’s a good way to characterize and understand people, as long as we realize someone might “speak” all the languages.
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  3. Dr WOLFF
    The post is a beauty. But can we add one to the list, the people who have erratic love languages, who can never be pleased, no matter what. Sometimes a effort to reachout in any way becomes offensive. They Are only available when they decide.
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    1. Talkwithtife Post author
      Hehehehe, lol…..I don’t think we can have erratic oo. Love has a whole lot to do with understanding, we have to understand the person first and know why they are acting like that
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  4. Omoprof
    How do we describe someone like me who’s language isn’t defined amongst the 5? the best way to my mumu button is by just acting intelligent, principled and generally having some sort of trait that i can learn from or inspires me. if i must choose from the above, mine is act of service.
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