For starters, I usually don’t do posts that are not safe for work, but for the record, if you’re in a cubicle where people can sneak up behind you, that might not be the best place to read this post.
So, you’ve just seen this incredibly hot and steamy scene in a film. Like wow, these guys must all be pros. That’s why they get paid the big bucks, right? And then the thought crosses your mind. What exactly happens on the set where they’re filming the magic happen?
I hate to be the harbinger of bad news, but sadly, most of the the sex scenes that you see in films aren’t real to begin with. Okay, that’s not always true. The famous Halle Berry scene in Monster’s Ball, and every sex scene that Shia LaBeouf did for Nymphomaniac were definitely real, but those are the exception rather than the rule.
If you’ve ever been involved in any filming project, then you know that the set can get very crowded very quickly. Even in Hollywood, it’s really hard to be sexy when there are like 30 pairs of eyes watching you, sticking cameras in your face, trying to get the microphones closer to you, moving lights so that they can see you better, etc. That’s a lot of pressure.
A few years back, a video clip from the film, Stretch, surfaced and it showed behind the scenes footage of how the sex scene between Brooklyn Decker and Patrick Wilson was filmed. In the clip, you can hear a lot of noise from the set as people talk to each other, trying to get into position, giving directions, and spraying the actors with fake sweat. Yes, exactly, the sweat that shines so beautifully in the movies is fake. All of that can definitely be distracting and probably isn’t the least bit helpful if they were really trying to get it on.
Then there’s the thing about the actual bodies involved. A lot of times, no real insertion takes place. Filmmakers are remarkably good at using creative camera angles, tying down body parts, using prosthetics, and in some cases, using body doubles. When you take all of that into account, perhaps the only real thing that happens in sex scene is the kissing, and sometimes there are prosthetics for that as well.
But wait, what about porn? Those folks aren’t faking it are they?
Well, yes, the sex in porn is real most of the time. Nobody is arguing about that. However, the scenarios they portray and the orgasms involved might have some “creative liberties” associated with them. The thing you have to remember is remember is that porn is a fantasy. I can’t stress that enough. These people are getting paid to job. They don’t always like the people that they’re working with and some of them would never ever sleep with each other were it not for the paycheck that comes from a day of shooting.
Aside: For more on Great Sexpectations, you really have check out Summer’s post here.
Everyday folks have horror stories about the unsexy things that happen when they’re between the sheets. But sex looks and feels very different when it’s your job and it’s on camera. Porn videos only show can you so much about what’s really happening. A lot of porn stars actually have particular scenes and positions that they’re not terribly fond of shooting. For example, a lot of male porn stars don’t like blowjobs all that much.
Much like in any other film project, shooting a scene properly in porn requires multiple takes and a lot of time. So that five minute blowjob you just finished fantasizing over might have taken an hour to shoot. During that time, the male actor has to be able maintain an erection (see rule of 8). Not just that, but his partner’s jaw might have gotten tired part of the way through, which is definitely not fun for her. It also means that both of them have been maneuvering for the last 20 mins to make sure that she doesn’t end up biting his penis accidentally.
That’s not even the tip of the iceberg. There’s a web series called Ask A Pornstar. One of their most recent episodes features some of the most hilarious downright disgusting things that happen on the set of porn shoots. For the record, there’s no nudity or sex going on in the video; it’s just pornstars talking about their jobs. That said, I might still wait until I’m off the clock to watch it. If you’re curious enough, here you go:
I really can’t describe any of the things in the video with a straight face.
Question time: What’s the most unsexy thing to happen to you during sexy time? Remember kids, this is TNC, you can comment anonymously and for good measure, tell the truth and let the devil be ashamed.
Image via news.com.au