They All Want You To Be Bad

No, they won’t be shocked to see you at Club Banana tomorrow, one cornering the newly installed lounge sofa. They’d pass yesterday off as one of those moments in a G’s life, but not when it’s the other way around.

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Yes! I said it. They all want you to be a bad person. To be honest, I don’t particularly know why. Perhaps your being bad makes them look good. Or not. Perhaps your being bad makes their being bad not being bad. Or not. Perhaps your being bad makes it easier to live with their being bad. Perhaps.

It’s not as convoluted.

So, you’re a quiet guy, easy going, unassuming, like me. Good for you. And then everyone at work knows you to be this way, and you’ve been working at your office for what now…like six months. But then there’s this party, let’s say a send forth party. Wait no, an end of the year party. At this party you throw it up and lay it down. You vodka, you shisha, you rock it out with Chidinma from HR and you do a perfectly worded karaoke of 5o Cent’s P.I.M.P. You know, just for the culture. Then you go home, sober down, and you’re back to work first thing the next morning, typing away at your desk.

But noooooooo! They won’t let you live it down. You suddenly become, “And I thought this guy was gentle o” and “So na forming you dey form all these days”. They give you names. “Bad guy”, “Baddest”. See, this is what I don’t understand. You have six months to judge a person but it all comes down to one day.

Now, getting your groove on doesn’t make you bad, but that’s just one example.

Suppose you are Bro Taiwo. You’re Bro Taiwo who goes to church, carries a bible and listens to Don Moen. I mean you do your thing, love the Lord and don’t bother nobody. Then one day you’re studying in the library for Professor Kogberegbe’s test, and then this badass chic strolls in. You know, hips like Yokozuna, waist like Miss Pepeye. You pause from your study just to take a look at and appreciate what the Almighty, your Lord and your God that you serve has created, for it is wonderfully made and is perfect in His sight. At this moment Tolani a.k.a. DJ Skempe spots you, and now you’re done. No, undone.

“Broooodaaaa Taiwooooooooo!!!!” “All this our brother in the Lord gan sef, na dem bad pass”.

The funny thing is, this never works backwards. If you are DJ Skempe a.k.a. Baba for the gehs a.k.a. Don Chacha and your car bumper has a sticker that reads, “Play ball, smoke weed. YOLO!” Then one day you’re sighted kneeling in a far corner, heads bent in prayer, Gideon’s New Testament Bible on your chest, nobody goes, “I knew it! Na forming this guy dey form all the while”. No, they won’t be shocked to see you at Club Banana tomorrow, one cornering the newly installed lounge sofa. They’d pass yesterday off as one of those moments in a G’s life, but not when it’s the other way around.

Why? It’s easier to accept that a person is not as good as he or she appears. Don’t they realize it is easier for a person to pretend to be someone else for one day than it is for months? Itumo? They want you to be bad.

So, as you move on in 2018, remember to always avoid the ‘theys’ in your life. Yes, it’s the same ‘they’ that DJ Khaled talks about. They don’t want you to win. So what do you do? You stay winning.

Ire o!

Responses

  1. 100% Pogonophile
    True…I can relate.
    On another note…any adult guy available to chat? Say between 32 and 34? Feel like chatting with a stranger.
    Thanks.

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