Topic: Are Female Orgasms Becoming A Myth?

DISCLAIMER: If you don’t own a vagina, this article might be useless to you, but a wise man would read on and pass it to a female in his life to help. Reaching an orgasm can be difficult, climaxing is a natural thing when you’re making love or, you know, taking care of business yourself…

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DISCLAIMER: If you don’t own a vagina, this article might be useless to you, but a wise man would read on and pass it to a female in his life to help.

Reaching an orgasm can be difficult, climaxing is a natural thing when you’re making love or, you know, taking care of business yourself *wink wink*. However, I discovered recently that some of us have a harder time achieving an orgasm than others. Many just need some help with how to reach there, sometimes it’s as simple as being nervous in a sexual situation with a partner, don’t worry though. I have gone to the ends of the earth (google, my board of trustees, and my brain) to find the solution to this terrible terrible epidemic. Here goes:

Spend time with yourself

The best way to discover how to orgasm better, faster, more powerfully, or more regularly is to practice – seriously (I’m serious o!). Practice really does make perfect. In this case, taking time to discover what you like through self pleasure is your best bet. The pressure’s off, there’s no stress, just you and your body.

Be in control

Sometimes being in control of the situation really helps. It’s important to remember that you’re in control of your climax. Your partner helps you get there, but ultimately, you have control over your own body – and your mind. Remember that, know your own power, and it can help you achieve the most passionate heights.

Lose the stress

Learning how to reach orgasm when it’s difficult for you can be hard. Stress and anxiety are the most common reasons some women find it hard to climax. Don’t be afraid to pamper yourself so you can be fully relaxed during sexual activities, whether you’re with yourself or someone else. Employ any activity that helps you get rid of stress and tension.

Know your body

Knowing your body is important. You also have to love it. Discover which areas are most sensitive. Don’t worry or even think about your problem areas. You are beautiful, so let yourself blossom.

Be open with your partner (I can’t stress this enough)

Some women are afraid to let their partners know what they like. Don’t be! The best way to learn how to reach orgasm with your partner is to be completely open and honest. Feel free to tell him or her what you like – and show your partner, too! That can be steamy!

Use your kegel power

Experts {me!!!duh!} say that you can actually benefit, orgasmically speaking, by doing Kegel exercises while you’re having sex. The exercises really enhance your pleasure, and they can make a climax come effortlessly. Evidently your partner will be pleased as well!{if you don’t know what Kegel exercises are,let me know,so I can hook you up, or you know, just Google}

Try a toy

This is kind of in line with learning about your body, except you can introduce it into your sex life with your partner as well. The right stimulation is vital in discovering how to reach orgasm, and bedroom toys can really help with that. I know this can be kind of uncomfortable, so go with something small first – you’ll be glad you did! {if you don’t possess a toy, lemme know, I’ll hook you up:-), seriously}

Clear your mind

Being distracted can really get in the way of pleasure. When your mind is going a million miles a minute about what you have to do at work tomorrow, whether you need to moan more or less, or what you are going to have for dinner, how you are going to ask him to get you the new iPhone, if he is going to propose soon, there is no way your body is going to respond. During sex, try to keep your mind clear and focus on what your body is telling you.

Be connected

It is so important to have a connection with your partner when you want to learn how to reach orgasm. The physical connection is one thing, but a mental and emotional connection can take you to new heights. Talk to each other – not just about sex, either.

Try something new

Keeping your sex life new, invigorating, and exciting is extremely beneficial. Try new things, like acting on your favorite fantasies. Make foreplay last for hours. Don’t be afraid to get noisy, either – there is a lot of proof about the fact that being loud makes your pleasure stronger. {I know this from research *coughs*}

Discovering how to reach orgasm mainly comes down to personal comfort. You have to be secure and confident. To know how to reach orgasm, you also have to know what you like. Knowing and understanding yourself first can make a huge difference. Do you have any other tips to share?

Responses

    1. Aorabee Lyambee
      I’m awed, that there is a person with an unpolluted heart here. no matter how deep the world delves into immorality: certain people are still repelled by senseless pleasure! I’m utterly awed, holy one–
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  1. Lady
    Great tips! Well, I can only get wet/achieve orgasm when I masturbate (stimulate my clitoris). Turns out I can’t get wet, let alone reach orgasm with a guy. Any tips ?
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    1. Loelah
      you have to teach the man how to please you.
      Sadly, most men assume that they are the custodian of feminine pleasures but they are ALWAYS sorely mistaken.
      Even if you draw a map of the vagina and give to some men, they will still find a way to get lost there.

      Show him with your body, if you cant find the words. Direct his hands and mouth and when he is thrusting, direct him with your hips.

      Since you know how to please yourself, this should be quite easy for you. Life is too short for crappy sex abeg.

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  2. Osasu Elaiho
    I always love the way you go into specifics when talking about sex. It always blows my mind and I mean always.

    It is true that a lot of men do not understand a woman’s body and yet believe that by being big and by thrusting hard or being able to go on for a while, then they are pros. They forget that the true beauty and pleasure of lovemaking lies in being able to satisfy their woman and bring her to orgasm.

    This of course can only happen when they make the effort to understand a woman’s body and what makes their partner tick as each partner is different.

    Wonder article. I hope this opens the eyes of both the young men and women who read this.

    Life is way too short for crappy sex.

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  3. Cavey
    Knowing your body and talking to/with your partner can NEVER be overemphasized! TBH, men need to understand that sex is a game, no an ART that doesn’t start from the moment your slide into her but long before. Work on your foreplay! Make her drip long before you get an article of clothing off her and you’ve increased your chances of giving her an O.

    Well done,

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  4. Aorabee Lyambee
    Try a toy? Dear me! a certain senorita i grew up with, had a sex toy stuck in her nether region at a boarding-house….she bleed a pool. i don’t approve of sex toy. somehow, using sex toys i think is equivalent to spitting on nature…..
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  5. Reny
    My two cents on this article are:
    a. Women orgasming is not automatic like men’s own
    b. Somehow most of us think it should be, i know i used to.
    c. For women, the onus lies more on you than you can imagine
    d. Knowing how to please yourself is one thing, but many people want to be pleased instead. I.e. You want your man to take you there
    e. This is good too and your willingness or not to masturbate should not be the determinant of whether u can have an orgasm
    F. Some people have perfected the art of self pleasure so much they have traded it for mutual pleasure.
    G. You don’t want that trust me, you will start to look forward to more me-time than us-time
    h. So back to the subject, many women will never orgasm through penetrative sex. This is also why masturbating to orgasm is such a common route for women
    I. Sorry guyz that’s the truth. A lot of rubbing against you might do the job that your magical thrusting skills cannot do. This is not to say that there’s no fun in thrusting, you just need to respect that you might not bring on the big O, no matter how big u are, skilled u are or how long u can go.
    J. Ladies dont be shy if what works for u is not labelled real sex or it doesn’t happen in u/ur man’s favorite position
    K. Just take it where you find it. And u might find out women can even finish faster than men.
    L. Finally did you know women get different types of climaxes some of which are not as intense. So if you still feel sated after sex without getting the big O, then the pleasure message comes from having those little less noticeable orgazms.
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    1. GeeBee
      Er, men orgasming (is that a word?) is not automatic, I’d like to point out. It would help if more women accepted the fact that they have to do more than just show up for a tryst to please a man. Thanks.
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  6. Olushola
    Disclaimers on TNC though… Lol… And everyone somehow “owns” a vagina. So, No (or Yes?) I’d read with all defiance. You talk about sex and you don’t want somebody to read?
    Hia, biko, take time o
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  7. GeeBee
    I might not own a vagina, but I’ve “read a lot” about them. I guess I’m allowed to comment, eh, @lipglossmaffia?
    You, Amyn, have made very good points. It is hard for a man to please a woman who doesn’t know how to please herself. Yeah, every human who come to terms with their own bodies and impulses, likes and turn offs.

    And to those who think masturbation should not be ‘encouraged’, how is discouraging it stopping you from doing it, anyway? It really is a harmless act except, you know, you take it too far. Like “I can’t eat until I’ve masturbated”, “no other person will love me like I can love myself, so I’ll not socialize but stay home and masturbate”, etc.

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  8. OluGt
    Orgasm is overrated…

    Simply because a man has testes and a penis doesn’t mean a woman should. A woman has a womb and a vagina. Men and women should not be expected to have the same experience and expectations as regards the so called orgasm.

    This is what I mean… If orgasm, which is associated with ejaculation in men, is a default indication of having enjoyed sex, then wouldn’t that imply that men who have premature ejaculation enjoy sex? No, majority of them don’t. Healthy men experience premature ejaculation too, and it is not accidental. It can also be occasional or frequent. It is simply a happening, that can sometimes be explainable and caused by, e.g., prolonged pre-sex excitement, irregular sexual encounters, etc., and sometimes not explainable in simple ways. Don’t be brainwashed and don’t be intimidated. Simply work on having a more mature mindset and learn to understand your body. Having sex for more than an hour wouldn’t be surprising to you eventually.

    The most important thing to look out for is enjoying sex. Orgasm or no orgasm, the goal should be to enjoy sex.

    Some women expect to have some sort of experience similar to what men do as regards orgasm. Don’t be brainwashed by fellow women who claim to have orgasms. Simply try to enjoy sex.

    Even though the science behind orgasm is inconclusive, it would remain a fact that orgasm is not an indication of a great sexual encounter. Simply partner with your partner to enjoy sex mutually.

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