I have seen people make life altering choices stemming from manipulation of what others deem fit for them. We are made to believe in traditions postulated by people who died over a 1000 years ago. Traditions that really have no meaning when you truly think about it. A friend’s sister from Edo State got married and according to the Bini tradition she could not sleep in her father’s house that night and anymore.
Mensah Otabil preached that the greatest gift given to man by God is the POWER OF CHOICE. He went on to say if there can ever be a time to say God failed, it would be failing to turn the hearts of the Israelites to him in the wilderness. After all the miracles he had shown them and the plagues upon the Egyptians, they still chose to turn away and serve heathen gods.
I never liked rules or norms. If it doesn’t make sense to me, it’s not happening. I am inclined to follow rules that otherwise would impact the lives of others negatively.
Some of the greatest and most trivial choices in a human’s life are often dictated by society, relatives and friends. My catholic friend was engaged to a Pentecostal lady and her mother said no to the marriage because he was not Pentecostal. The lady broke off the engagement and let her mother who hopefully she outlives make that choice for her. I hope when she finally gets married, her mum is part of the union for better for worse and only dies when her daughter dies since she’s made her choice for her. Holdup, I see all in support of her mother’s view frowning. That’s not the point. Daughter needed to call the final shot based on her personal conviction not her mother’s.
I have seen people make life altering choices stemming from manipulation of what others deem fit for them. We are made to believe in traditions postulated by people who died over a 1000 years ago. Traditions that really have no meaning when you truly think about it. A friend’s sister from Edo State got married and according to the Bini tradition she could not sleep in her father’s house that night and anymore. Why? “Who gon die?” Personally, I would just go to bed in the middle of such a conversation with anyone. You would have to physically carry me out.
Often times these same people that “love us” threaten us with financial distress and isolation when we refuse to take the path they prescribe.
Fear (the unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of pain, danger, harm, rejection and loneliness) and shame (internalizing other people’s beliefs about who you should be or who you are) are major factors that take our power of choice.
Personally, my choices are limited to my Christian faith. Thereafter, I consider if any family members and friends will die, go hungry, break a leg, catch a disease or get sick as a result of my choice.
Why do we make bad/wrong choices even when we know it’s wrong sometimes? Because we think there’s some kind of payoff for the bad choice. Could be monetary, approval/acceptance from others, pleasure etc.
In my 30 years of life, I have found that making things right starts with the TRUTH. It starts in the mind. Again for me, it is to know and believe God’s truth. The TRUTH will set you free! We have to uncover the lies we have been accepting. This is part of becoming an adult. Some of those lies we picked from TV, as children from older ones, parents, schools, playgrounds, stupid traditions and some we have creatively convinced ourselves about e.g. Not having a choice is THE choice made in whatever situation. The Bible makes it clear that God gives us a choice. He works with us not through us. For the most part, we are given the freedom to seek God’s ways and then make choices. Our personal callings are not commands but beckoning’s and promptings. We can enter into a partnership with God making use of the opportunities or passions he has given us or just do as you please. The choice is ours
We need to discard lies and find out what God has to say ultimately. And there comes the right choice and freedom.
I am a freak for doing what the freak I want to do! It’s good and bad sometimes. At the least I’ve got myself to blame.
Wait, one last thing. There’s a scene in the blockbuster movie Black Panther, which struck me, where Nakia tells Tchalla “you get to decide what kind of king you want to be”.
We get to decide also.