What Do You Want For Val?

“What do you want for Val?” You. I want to call you at 3 am when my insomnia keeps me up and memories of us are what helps to pass the time. I want to call you when I’m excited about getting a job, my first job, doing what I want to do. I want…


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“What do you want for Val?”


I want to call you at 3 am when my insomnia keeps me up and memories of us are what helps to pass the time.

I want to call you when I’m excited about getting a job, my first job, doing what I want to do.

I want to tell you about those sugar daddy wannabes that won’t let me be, and feel you cringe with jealousy.

I want to call out your name and have you answer me in the same room. I want all of you, all over me…

I think about you in the bathroom and I reminisce about our time in the shower, I remember how you kissed me, how we tried new things, how I want to break the records any other girl has set.

I want to call you right now and ask about your day. I want to see your smile. I want to hear the sound of your laughter, the one you asked if it could induce a stroke. I want to go back to that heaven, alone, with you, undisturbed, free.

I want to tell you I miss you, I long for you, but I want to make you understand this is not just sexual.

I don’t love you, I don’t even know how to know if I love someone.

I want to want you out loud but I am scared, of the world, of getting bored, of our commitment issues, of our yearning for solitude, I am scared of the uncertainty of life. I am scared you will find someone more sexy and with more soul. I am scared my mood swings would get in the way, I am scared that demon that doesn’t let me get out of bed sometimes would get in the way. I am scared of losing you, you know that kind of loss that leaves a void, that makes you long for things you can never get. I am scared of being too dependent, of loving you and being unable to imagine my life without you.

I want my solitude too, and you are always immersed in your busyness, you work too much but I understand. We are just friends, we don’t want to ruin that.

So, I cannot answer that way. We cannot explore the answer to that question. We are just a boy and a girl taking chances, we do not have a title, titles complicate things, so I cannot tell you I want you the way I want you.

“Earphones. I want earphones.”


    1. Larz
      As in….

      “We don’t need to put a label on things….” or other similar statements are just BS. Even if all you want is an occasional shag buddy, be bold enough to say so.

  1. Mrs Sweet Face
    I want this with mr sweet face but i’m scared of even telling him how i feel.
    i know he cares, the calls, texts and concern in his voice. but its just been a month, i have definitely fallen for him and want to tell him so bad but what if he is not on the same page. After our convo yest, i called to say i really do miss u but when he picked, i froze and said i mistakenly dialed back. When do we really take that leap and damn the reaction? i want to know how he feels about me… Is a month too soon to ask or should i give it time?? i need answers TNC brethren
    1. Morris
      Hi Mrs Sweet Face,

      No, this is not an answer/advice, you should write to Efe for that.

      My thoughts – You take that leap when you can’t take the not knowing again. You called him and froze? Noooo, you don’t wanna be freezing, you wanna be bold! If you wait to know how he feels, will it actually change how you feel?

      Do it freezing.

      1. Mrs Sweet Face
        Omg, loved it! Do it Freezing!! And the Efe part killed me, lol….i feel so much better. Thank you for this push and i think u’d make a great counselor/ therapist…..hehehe
          1. Morris
            Yeah, i will like a sequel too, from anyone really. Telling us how it went…

            But really, , isn’t it said that you know when a guy likes you (A typical scenario of someone who is crushing on you but hasn’t come out with it because of fear of rejection or he doesn’t like you that much, lol). So, doesn’t that mean that if you “can’t tell”, then maybe he doesn’t?

          1. Mojisola Salaudeen Post author
            @morris, I think you can tell when someone really likes you, but you may not be able to tell how far that likeness will go or they are willing to make it go. Likeness/Attraction does not guarantee you want the same kind of relationship or the same things from a relationship.
    2. Chris
      I’ll advise you take your time to get to know this guy VERY WELL. This is the time to ask pertinent questions that will inform your response when he does ask eventually. Also form a good friendship bond in this space cos its going to be the bedrock and solid foundation for your relationship if you guys eventually start dating.

      I personally have a 3 months rule to get to know a lady before asking or putting a label on it. No matter how much I like you, you won’t hear anything from me in that direction cos my focus will be to build a solid friendship with you first and know the general direction you’re traveling in case we are going different ways. However, you’ll know that I do like you through my actions towards you.

      I do this cos I’ve discovered that asking someone out so soon is purely based on emotions. It takes longer to really know if you want someone or you’re just infatuated. Also there’s so much you can know which will be important on the long run e.g genotype, flaws you may not be able to tolerate etc.

      Went against this rule once last year and the relationship barely lasted 2 months.

      So my dear, take your time and don’t rush.

  2. mr. smith
    girls and all them emotion sef, no titles jare, honestly titles complicate things . Just go with the flow enjoy each other’s company and shit… nice 1 *to da hijab wearing lady*
    1. Morris
      Titles makes things clear. It clarifies actually. ‘Going with the flow’, to me is chicken, there’s a reason/feeling behind initiating the relationship, just say what it is.
  3. vanilla
    Lol! The ‘earphones’ part made me laugh.

    I think it is always better to define it but a month is too short especially if you don’t want to rush into a relationship with someone (me right now). Give it a weak and use the time to weight all the good/bad stuff of a long term thing with the guy in question.

    Someone recently asked me this question and i who froze and ended up blabbing cos i felt it was just yet time to define it. That is me tho…..

  4. Princewill
    For real, I need them earphones. The spoilt Earphones in my room is like I took out Christmas tree lights from a whole country. I need some H6 Headphones, or a REAL Beats By Dre Headphones f val.

    Haven made my request, i’ll advice you say your damn mind all the time. Worst case scenario he/she’ll shut you down. But hey that’s good you know, yea, at least you know where you stand other than beating up yourself emotionally. Know whether they are on thesame page with, then you’ll know how to move on with your life, Life’s too short for self emotional torture

  5. LG
    Barely 3 weeks after a break up, I am in love. because I know myself, i know it is love. But the old me gives times and does strict friendship,usually for a month, i keep saying thats what ill do but when I see him or hear his voice which I want to everytime, then Its all over jackie. Problem is, while it feels real, very, for both parties, it feels too fast! and I just broke up!! arrrggghhh!!! I dont want to put a title to it but I want the officialness so bad. I have never felt so good about someone, and yet circumstances makes me feel like im making a mistake or im not ready..sigh. I loved this. Very much. headphones..

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