I miss you..
I’m up most nights wondering if the feeling’s mutual?
I wonder if certain sights or sounds triggers memories of me,
If hearing a particular song makes you wonder if I’d like it ,
What my opinion on the series you’re currently watching will be,
If when people make certain comments , you think of what I’d say,
Do you curl up at night and wish I was there with you,
I’m not her definitely ,
I’m not the woman you love ,
I can’t be her,
How can I possibly unsurp 3 years of companionship just because you enjoy tying me up,
Do you miss my smell?
I hate it,
But you’d sniff me all up regardless of how sweaty I am.
Do you miss our mini UFC competitions?
The ones where you almost certainly would win.
But I still put up a darn good fight and surrender half way in.
Do you think of my phobia when the cockroaches reappear?
Do you get excited thinking I’m around when they crawl past the room?
Does the black sofa remind you of me?
Sprawled out on it.
You on top.
Underneath you writhing in pleasure.
As I pull you closer to me.
Do you still think of me when Jidenna’s Bambi comes on the radio?
You said if you were ever to dedicate a song to me, it would be that…
Do you smile as you lift them?
Remember that day I said I was gonna lift one up?
The fear on your face.
Do memories of your neckties around my wrist still make you hard?
Can you even remember how good the last session was?
I remember all these and more.
I remember all I wanted to say.
But couldn’t for fear of being scolded and laughed at.
I remember looking away as you dressed up.
‘Cos if I took a sneak peek,
I’d fall all over again.
I remember wanting to kiss you goodbye.
But as you brought your lips to mine,
I looked away.
‘Cos that kiss would have made me fall apart.
And you won’t pick up my broken pieces.
I remember the first day we kissed.
I didn’t want to stop.
I curse that day.
‘Cos that’s when I found out I couldn’t just be friends with you.
I remember the times you asked me to sleep over.
I was over the moon.
Little did I know you told that to every woman you came across.
The first time you spanked me.
The feral look in your eyes.
I promised myself I’d do anything to make you look at me that way everyday.
The nights we spent entangled in each other.
You pulling me back when I edged away a bit.
The mornings when you told me not to leave too early.
“It’s not a booty call, S”
My frail heart ate up those words.
Doing silly twerk dances.
Because it’s never known such sweetness.
Do you remember all the songs you played for me?
“The woman I love – Jason Mraz”
How you made me fall in love with James Morrison?
You’ve ruined sex for me , O.
‘Cos no man seems to know just how to choke me right ,
Or how to put kitten in her place …..
He’s not yours , S..
I keep reminding myself.
But I miss you O.