Why I Hate The Nigerian Culture

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I am a Nigerian. Born here, lived most of my life here and I intend to live a greater part of my years to come here. I am a patriotic Nigerian. I love this nation, I believe in this nation but I will not die for this nation. So maybe I’m not so patriotic after all. One thing I know for sure is that I’m definitely more optimistic about the future of this nation than most young Nigerians. In my short time here, I have been privileged to explore, discover and experience the suppressed greatness that lies within the unique people of this country. I’ve been fortunate enough to meet so many people from other parts of the world and one thing is for sure, the average Nigerian forever stands out. We are unique in our ways, our beliefs, the things that drive us, the things we want from life etc. Central to all of this is the foundation upon which every Nigerian is built – our culture. And this is why I’m here today. I’m here to tell you why I HATE MY CULTURE.

For those who may not know, my dictionary defines culture as the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a particular people or society. With over 250 ethnic groups in Nigeria, all with their own unique cultures, you’re probably wondering which one I’m referring to. Well, I’m referring to all of them. No matter how unique every ethnic group tries to present itself, it’s not so hard to pick out the similarities among the customs of each group and put that together to form what I call the Nigerian Culture.

If you already disagree with me about the existence of a ‘Nigerian culture’ or you’re still trying to juxtapose this with the madness that ran through the Nigerian cyberspace last week, relax, take a seat while I give some background on some of the ideas/customs that make up the ‘Nigerian Culture’.

Suppressed Emotions:

Just last week I asked some of my colleagues at work when was the last time or if they’d even ever said the words “I love you” to their fathers. Of course some of the females jumped up and said last night or the last time they spoke to him but after a quick survey in the room, we discovered none of the guys present remembered ever saying those words directly to their fathers. There were also some women in the room who admitted to not saying the words in a long time. What was more disturbing was the fact that almost everyone agreed their father’s would probably sense some sort of problem if they ever did say those words to him. On the flipside, about 40/50% of the people present said they had said the words ‘I love you’ to their mothers and siblings.

During the same conversation, an Italian colleague of mine explained how they had four different terms to describe the different stages of love/affection in Italian while most local Nigerian languages had just one and in some cases two. It’s not a coincidence. It’s a fact. We may be emotional but the average Nigerian has difficulties expressing emotions. And you wonder why we’re such terrible kissers.

Blindly Religious:

I find it almost nauseating how it’s so easy for the average Nigerian to turn regular conversation into something religious. Let me give two instances:

Me to a colleague: Hey, the deadline for that project is today. Please have it ready by 5pm.

Colleague: it will be ready by the special grace of God.

***

Daughter: Mummy, I think I’m coming down with a fever. I have a headache and I’m running a temperature too.

Mum: Ah, I rebuke it in the name of Jesus. You can’t have a fever.

I don’t think I need to explain further here.

Sentimental:

Those who know me know one of the worst statements you can possibly make around me is “but they tried”. That’s my mothers default response to my criticism of every single Nollywood movie and it drives me nuts. Maybe the word I’m looking for isn’t sentimental; maybe mediocre explains it better but the fact that we so easily revel in that substandard space based on absolutely nothing but sentiments is very very worrisome.

Cowardice:

Do you remember how growing up, you’d be doing the dishes with your siblings or perhaps playing around the living room and some dish or glassware would slip, fall and break. Your mom would come running into the room and the first thing you’d do is point at your sibling and say – he/she did it?

At that point in time you imagine your mother isn’t so worried about the fact that this accident could have hurt one of her kids. She doesn’t run into the room to ask, “What happened? Are you guys ok? Did it cut you?” Even if she does later, you know the first thing on her mind is to discipline whoever did what and as a result; you’re quick to exonerate yourself. Newsflash – this doesn’t go away. Years later while working for a large corporation, this same culture surfaces when a manager is all about pointing fingers and exonerating his/herself rather than first finding a solution to a problem.

Sexist:

I spoke above about how most guys have never said the words “I love you” to their fathers. I also wrote last week about how you’d probably never hear anyone here use the term “high maintenance guy” because the thought of a woman maintaining a man or running a home in these parts is almost ludicrous. Even with the rate at which the rest of the word is embracing women liberalization, we have refused to see the bigger picture and we remain stuck in our ways.

Monarchial:

The average Nigerian is a follower. In our homes while growing up, our fathers were the leaders, the kings; we pretty much worshipped them. The same way subordinates worship their bosses, congregation members idolize pastors/imams and how government officials ass-kiss council chairmen, governors, senators and our dear presidents. Match this with some of my points above and you’d understand why we’d rather keep quiet when we spot a leader doing something absolutely wrong.

Hypocritical:

This has got to be one of our greatest traits and it’s just amazing how contradictory it is when put side by side with other points I made above. The same Nigerian who’d rebuke your criticism of a Nollywood movie and plead that you give them more time grow is the same one who’d step out of his house, walk in on a mob about to lynch an alleged thief and join in without stopping to question the authenticity of the allegations. In the words of a very good friend: “In Nigeria we have babies, we don’t have sex”.

Wrongfully Driven

Most people assume the average Nigerian is hardworking. He is a hustler who would do anything to survive. Allow me to challenge this assumption today. I think the average Nigerian is naturally lazy but what differentiates us from the average Briton is the fact that we can be selectively driven. Because of the huge gap between the economical classes in our society – the lower and upper class, a lot of Nigerians have been able to drive themselves to push up from that low class to create some form of middle class. However, if you ask majority of the Nigerians who currently make up this middle class if they believe they can break into the ‘upper class’ through legitimate means or if they are even doing anything to help them make that next jump you’d be more than surprised at their response. It’s what I like to call ‘small success syndrome’.

This is the reason parents used to push their kids to study law or engineering back in the days and it’s the same reason why some parents are now pushing their kids to sports or music even when its obvious that they lack the talent.

I can go on and on but I’ll stop here for today. For those wondering if there isn’t anything ‘positive’ about this ‘Nigerian Culture’, truth is, I think the negatives outnumber the positives but then again, these negatives are things that can be quickly turned around to benefit us. In my opinion, culture should be dynamic but ours has stayed stagnant for way too long and thats why some people can ride on it to their advantage. One positive thing about the Nigerian Culture is our friendliness and this is one people all over the world agree with and celebrate too, maybe I’ll touch on this some other day.

Now back to where we started. Having defined this ‘Nigerian culture’ and given us some background, I’d now like us all to revisit the Ese Walters as well as the Lola Akindele posts and maybe, just maybe we’ll now be able to put the comments into context and form better opinions.

****

Now I want to hear from you guys. Do you agree with my definition of elements from the Nigerian Culture? Do you even agree there’s any such thing as a ‘Nigerian Culture’? If yes, please help me add to the list, if no, tell us why. Also, if we agree most Nigerians possess these traits, what can we do to turn things around? What will you do personally with your kids to help fix things? And going by this Nigerian Culture, what’s your take on the Ese and Lola stories? You know the drill; use the comment box to express you.

112 Comments

  • feyikunmi says:

    first?

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  • feyikunmi says:

    Can't believe I've joined in the race for first. Smh!

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  • Bee says:

    i totally agree with u, i think we are too hypocritical. You 4got to mention hateful and judgemental, the average nigerian is filled with hate and is very quick to judge. If you don't share d same views with a nigerian automatically you are wrong…. You need to listen to the way so called educated nigerian youth speak, you will wonder if they are illiterates.
    The nigerian culture stinks ,and i think we need to change before we can move forward as a country.

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    • Sisi Ijebu says:

      @Bee Its not hypocrisy, its cowardice. The fear of being the lone voice of criticism in a room full of mindless followers, its easier to just go along with what we know is glaringly wrong and not "God forbid", rock the boat.

      I was dissapointed but not the least bit surprised the see how the public reacted to these womens' stories, but I'm glad that they don't seem to need any acceptance or closure from anyone, which is just as well because they aren't going to get much comfort.

      Just look back at movements like #EnoughIsEnough and #Occupy, nothing was achieved and the "raging fires of activism" were doused by cold hard cash while the mobs just dispersed and went back to their lives when there was no one left for them to follow.

      I refuse to get emotional over this country anymore because I fear that the change that needs to happen may never actually come. Its so sad that our generation seems to be gearing up to be an even greater disappointment than the one before us. God help Generation Y.

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    • nijezie says:

      "I acknowledge you have a right to an opinion but if your opinion differs from mine, with all due respect, you're an idiot" – FFK. That's as Nigerian as it gets right there.

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  • Bee says:

    i totally agree with u, i think we are too hypocritical. You 4got to mention hateful and judgemental, the average nigerian is filled with hate and is very quick to judge. If you don't share d same views with a nigerian automatically you are wrong…. You need to listen to the way some educated nigerian youths speak, you will wonder if they are illiterates.
    The nigerian culture stinks ,and i think we need to change before we can move forward as a country.

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  • amy ox_chambo says:

    LOOOOL

    Na wa. . . . . .

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  • Muyiwa Talabi says:

    While I agree with most of the things you’ve said, I’d like to disagree about the drive and how we perceive ourselves as hardworking which isn’t really the case.

    You made it worse for me by choosing a Brit to compare with (that’s a story for another day).

    Yes many people aren’t willing to do what it takes to get them to the next level and some are outright lazy. But there’s one thing I’d say; Given the governmental and societal systems (or the lack of it) in Nigeria, I commend how many Nigerians have turned nothing into something. I had almost the same views as you before I started living in the UK. For some reason living out of the country has opened my eyes to what Nigerians (especially the younger ones) are achieving and it makes me extremely proud. If we are to go by your views on other areas and the methods you’ve used to classify (which I mostly agree with) then I’m in disagreement with you on this one.

    May I add that where I see a misguided drive is that many people are driven to almost copy others who have been successful rather than think of their own routes or paths to success.

    And this isn’t me saying ‘they tried’ this is me saying I’ve seen and experienced real successes in uncharted regions regardless of what the government or society looks like. Maybe it’s the people I’m exposed to maybe not but these are my views.

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    • thetoolsman says:

      Interesting POV. The Brit thing was just me messing around by the way. I'm glad you agree that many aren't willing to do what it takes (the right way) to get them to that next step – that right there is my point. If you're truly hardworking and not wrongfully driven, why stop? Why also would you copy others like you said? Sure, we can point at the absence of a working system but at the end of the day, people make up systems no?

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      • Muyiwa Talabi says:

        No my brother. I'd disagree with you at this point again. Ideally, the people do not make up the system. This is why in the more successful countries in the world, it doesn't matter who is at the helm of affairs or who the people are, you fit in or get done.

        The lack of a working system in Nigeria is like limb paralysis, some people are strong willed enough to rise above it, some people have skills that can be used regardless of the paralysis but the majority need help to rise above that paralysis.

        I'll leave you with an example. At work my boss and one of his mates celebrated 40 years on the job last week. My boss is now a senior engineer and his mate is an electrician, they both started working as electrical apprentices on the same day. They could have towed the same paths but because there's a working system here for everyone working in any capacity (e.g. a good pension, payable mortgage, health insurance, car loans etc.) His mate decided he wouldn't need to bother himself with any more responsibilities because the working systems allow him to.

        Now translate this to our dear country, is it even possible?

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        • thetoolsman says:

          Might need another post on this bit to properly explain my point. On people and systems, pensions don't give themselves, the structure is built and managed by people, same goes for health insurance, loans etc. When you have a bitter boss who doesn't understand why his employees deserve car loans, why will he even consider it or think about improving the system? Thats what I mean when I say people make up the system.
          If we don't turn our culture around and develop the people, there is no way we'll make the system work.

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  • Afoma says:

    Your post makes a lot of sense to me except the second example about being “nauseatingly” religious.

    My view: If one is a Christian, (not as religion), then one will know that to have a victorious Christian life, you gotta incorporate the word into your speech and act in that line. Let the weak SAY i am strong. Let the poor SAY i am rich, not just in prayer ehn ehn in your conversations. So if i have a deadline and say by the grace of God and then i work, do everything i need to do to meet the deadline. thats not nauseating.

    if i rebuke a fever, i have an understanding that Christ was physically ill with that fever on the cross (Isaiah 53:10 AMP), 2 people cannot pay the price, now.

    I’ve seen people that used to have monthly appointments with Malaria and/or Typhoid. when they came to the saving knowledge of the cross, omo they don’t even what artesunate or fansidar looks like any more. we are talking 5-10 years of not being sick. You want a victorious Christian life, the one Christ died so we can have? You can’t incorporate what you believe into your day-to-day conversations.

    It is not Nigerian culture thing, it is what the word says.

    Thank you. :)

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    • Afoma says:

      *you can’t afford to not incorporate…

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    • thetoolsman says:

      I'm sorry but again I disagree with you. I know I'm going to struggle with the promise I made myself not to get too religious with comments on this post but hey… I'm a christian and I'm all for living your belief. I've done alot of reading on faith and so I also understand what you mean by incorporating the word into your speech. However, for me, I think one of the greatest teachings from the bible is that of love.
      Many christians complain about being victimised by their bosses colleagues etc just because of their religion but if you look at the way they live their lives, a lot of things can be avoided. From the example I gave above, no reason why colleague couldn't have responded "Ok" to the first statement and then mutter his own declaration to himself or say it in his head? We forget so fast that your truth isn't that of others and as much as you want to win them over, you wont do it by enforcing it. We as christians really need to be a lot more considerate even as we live our beliefs.

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      • larz says:

        u hit the nail on the head. u cant reach out to ppl by alienating them.

        My question has always been this, "are you the reason why people r intrigued by Christian faith or are you the reason why they have decided to turn away from Christ".

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    • toborex says:

      There are things that do not require some "blindly religious" statements e.g The colleague example.. Some things are clearly within our "jurisdiction"..

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    • Afoma says:

      Toolsman,
      i completely get and agree with you on the fact that Christians should live right in the office & public and also about not forcing your truth down people’s throats. I agree.
      But your ideal reply in the first example would be a simple “Ok” and mutter the God’s grace part. That is you.
      some other person might say “I’m working on it. It’d definitely be done in time by God’s grace”.
      Or you ask a colleague: How was the weekend? One might reply “It was great. thank you. How was yours?”.
      Another might say: “Oh it was so awesome, i basked in God’s mercies. God was so faithful. How was yours?”. Lol

      There’s no ploy to “win over” anybody in these replies. You are just saying it for yourself as you believe it.

      I agree that Nigerians can be blindly religious, i just feel that the examples given are kind of off the point. But then we can agree to disagree. Thats fine.

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    • Dayo A says:

      Lmao. Foh. I don’t believe in any god and I haven’t had any reason to use drugs in like 5years. Miss me with your incorporation shit.

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  • feyikunmi says:

    Hmmm…I think I agree with you on these elements of our culture. Sometimes we don't even realize we are this way until someone points it out. So I'd say that by listing them, you have started the process of turning things around because I think people who read it will self-evaluate and be more conscious of their thought and behavioural patterns.

    I'd like my kids and I to have a very open relationship similar to the type I have with my mum. Unlike most of my mates, my younger brother and I talk sex with my mum almost to the point that I worry it might be disrespectful. She's a christian and teaches us christian values but she is also very realistic. My dad died when I was 12 but I think if he were here, he would be open with us too. We need to leave room for our kids to express themselves and form their own opinions and teach them not to be afraid to speak up against things they know are wrong or ask questions when they are confused and need clarification.

    As regards Ese Walters, I am still waiting to hear Pastor Biodun's side. I am not sure I see the point in exposing Him to the world but then I don't know the full story. If he had confessed to Pastor Flo as she said and repented of His actions then there really is no point for this but if over the years there have been other victims them maybe it is time the truth came out. I watched the service online yesterday and was disappointed at his response and that of the congregation. I have members of His church sending me solidarity BC's wherein they append their signatures to show total support for their Pastor which I find very disturbing. But like I said I am waiting for the robust response…

    I think Lola Akindele's post will only be understood by those who have had or still have a serious relationship with God and understand the Holy Spirit. I do not doubt it one bit. If that makes me blindly religious, so be it. The bible says we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers and there are a few instances in the bible where God deliberately intervened in a person's salvation e.g Saul (who became Paul) and the Centurion. Not all spiritual matters are meant to be rational or logical, that is why we need faith for as the bible says, without faith, it is impossible to please God.

    I'll stop preaching now lol. Sorry for the long comment.

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    • thetoolsman says:

      Thanks for the comment. No need to apologise for the length, we encourage all to share here. I think we can all learn from what you said about encouraging our kids to express themselves. Very important.

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    • larz says:

      I am not sure I like "I think Lola Akindele's post will only be understood by those who have had or still have a serious relationship with God and understand the Holy Spirit". It is like saying, if as a Christian you dont understand it then regardless of what you think, you are not serious enuf or God doesnt think u are special enuf. Not only does this project the wrong picture about God, there is a risk it alienates young Christians.

      What is to say a young Christian doesn't read this and think, if I become serious enuf God will love me more or that "I may as well quit as I have being xtian for a while as clearly God doesnt reveal himself to me so am probly doing wrong".

      God doesn't discriminate in his love; he doesnt have favourites. He knows us intimately and will communicate with us the best way possible for us. In a way, unique to our personality. There are ppl that are very faithful to God who may never experience what Lola had; it doesnt make them less likely to enter his kingdom or make them any less worthy.

      Feyikunmi- this is not a personal attack at you but an attempt to correct this views carried by "serious xtians" I have seen in almost every blog

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      • feyikunmi says:

        Oh I definitely see your point. Thanks for the correction. I guess what I meant is people who have not at one time or other had a divine revelation or encounter with God via the Holy Spirit or believe that such encounters are possible. And like you said, it does not mean God loves them any less or they are not serious in their relationship with God. Thanks :)

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    • Niyoola says:

      " I am not sure I see the point in exposing Him to the world but then I don't know the full story".

      If the man in this story was a serving Governor/Senator, we will definitely see "the point" in exposing him ….. but since he's a pastor, he should be spared?

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      • feyikunmi says:

        Hi Niyoola, if you read that paragraph to the end, you'll see that I said "if over the years there have been other victims (affairs) then maybe it is time the truth came out." Of course he should not be spared if he is guilty and has continued to be guilty which is why I was disappointed with his response because I expected him to either say "No I did not have an affair" or "yes I did. It was a long time ago and I have since repented, confessed and apologized to my wife and other church elders. I am sorry you as my congregation had to find out this way." or "yes this happened and has been happening. It is the work of the devil" :)

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  • Rezza says:

    What I hate most about the Nigerian culture is its celebration of mediocrity. The phrase ‘He/she/they tried’ is the answer to anything and everything in this nation. Add that to our unique ability to give any topic a religious angle, and any hope you have just flies out of the window

    I read Ese Walter’s post and I applaud her courage and bravery. I cannot count how many people have quoted the ‘touch not…’ Scripture at me over the weekend just because I supported Ese, but I’m not moved. The reason why she put up the post was to encourage other women who had been in similar circumstances to find peace and closure.

    As for the pastor, if he feels he has been wronged, he can always sue. We have to learn to hold those we have put in authority responsible for the use of that authority.

    No come dey use ‘Pastor’ dey wash me for here. Not gonna happen!

    As for Lola Akindele, I have nothing to say. If I did, the word ‘hallucinations’ would feature a lot in my opinion

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  • thisboyperforms says:

    Man! I will need a whole blog post and some extra sheets to comment on this topic!

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  • toborex says:

    Wait o! please how do we know there's any truth to what she said? Besides, if it's true it was a an accord by two mature adults. It's not like he put her under anesthesia anointing first.

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    • toborex says:

      This was supposed a reply to Rezza. What the peanuts happened?!

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    • thetoolsman says:

      We don't know it's the truth and yes, it was based on a mutual agreement. Thats not the bone of contention here. It's about accountability for people placed in position of authority.

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      • Rezza says:

        Thank you for seeing that Tools.

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      • cr8tivphenom says:

        I just read Ese's post. And i picked this word out of it…'trapped'. She felt trapped in the affair. She is a frigging grown woman. How does a man of God trap a grown woman in an affair unless she wants to be in it.

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  • sally says:

    First, that story of the chick and her dayo read all sorts of insanity.

    Nown to today’s gist. I can hug and kiss you, Toolsman for this post. At least when I talk I am not alone. Nigerian ugly culture. Good example was after we didn’t win BBA yest. Pple took to twitter to air their closed, narrow-minded, judgmental, minds. “Dilish won cos of fine face” “it was rigged” “melvin needs to see his pastor; he has a curse on his life” “so bev had sex for nothing” “dilish’s guy is ugly and she’ll dump him for the money” “dilish likes melvin” “BBA set nigerians up for a split vote”

    I laughed at first cos they were funny but when I sat to think, I said to myself “we r a bunch of bitter pple” We call God first but there really is no iota of God in us. The worst is the hypocrisy thing. It reeks really bad.

    I don tire

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    • thetoolsman says:

      Thanks for bringing up the BBA examples, like you said, it really is sad. I read alot of the comments on Twitter yesterday and I was just weak.

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    • tommiegal says:

      " We call God first but there really is no iota of God in us." Thank you for this. And if I may add that while Nigerians are the most religious people we find around, we're not a very Godly lot.

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  • @Sirkastiq says:

    I tried to comment….

    I'll try again God willing…

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  • oluwakorede says:

    I totally agree wf u on this especially d part abt we nigerians idolizing our religious leaders. This is common amongst we christians..we look at them like God.he’s a pastor doesn’t make him any less human.he’s prone to errors too…we rily nid to get such mentality out of our heads

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  • Tope says:

    Wale,
    I totally agree with all you have said. I've lived abroad for over 10 years and I totally detest Nigerian culture. I still have some of these Nigerian culture in me so I'm not trying to remove myself. I've never ever said to my dad I love you and I am a very expressive person but I'm totally nuts about the guy.

    Now to Ese, I totally believe her story and I'm sure half of Pastor Biodun believe her as well but they fear what the consequences of "touch not my anointed". This bible verse does not imply be stupid and gullible in my opinion. I am not asking or canvassing for an explanation from the Pastor but I honestly don't think he has any business mounting the pulpit. The church should conduct an investigation into the serious allegations bc there are pple who are looking up to the pastor that needs reassurance and looking out for. Ese has gone about it the wrong way. She alienated me with her use of words. She came across as a woman scorned and not someone abused as she claimed. I can bet my KG shoes that she had fancied the pastor for a very long time and when the opportunity came to turn fantasy to reality she jumped at it. But hey, what do I know?

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    • tommiegal says:

      " I can bet my KG shoes that she had fancied the pastor for a very long time and when the opportunity came to turn fantasy to reality she jumped at it." My thoughts exactly, but without the KG shoes.

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    • ola says:

      OMGosh! Yes. Yes! Exactly. Her use of words. She doesnt or didnt sound like someone who was “trapped” whatever she meant that to be. At a point you could see she was trying not to sound too scorned and after sometime, she probably forgot again and started sounding scorned. “Oh i was trapped” my ass. Please. A grown ass woman. Not that i doubt her story anyway i just think she’s trying to shift a huge portion of the blame to so caLled biodun nigga

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  • Niyoola says:

    Every nation has it's culture; said culture may be annoying to foreigners/observers and indigenes. If this post was about British Culture, many people that have stayed in UK would definitely have a lot to say.

    About Lola Akindele, I don't really understand what happened to her, but as long as it makes sense to her and her husband, all is well. Because you don't understand someone's story doesn't mean you should call them schizophrenic, hallucinating or crazy. People were so eager to bash the poor girl. I hope the post didn't/doesn't cause any issues between her, her husband and his family. The only issue I have is "WHY DO MANY PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO SHARE THEIR BIZNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA". Like seriously, I find it a bit unsettling the need to inform the world of what happening in your life.

    As per Pastor Biodun, his silence (or ramblings) on the matter does not in any way show wisdom on his part and those around him.
    You want to talk but 'they' said you shouldn't; but while you are not saying anything, you are composing robust reply; and in the midst of all this, God said you should be quiet.
    Dude STFU if you have nothing to say, but don't be taking us on monkey rides and sh*t.

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    • Tim says:

      "WHY DO MANY PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO SHARE THEIR BIZNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA??". this line describes my exact thotz on the Lola Akindele story. what does she plan to achieve?

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    • thetoolsman says:

      Agreed. Every nation has its culture – some well defined, others not so well defined. I guess my point here isn't more about highlighting how annoying our culture is but firstly highlighting this culture (many people do not know it is) and then starting conversations on how we can make it better.

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  • larz says:

    Suppressed emotions- behavioural change is something that can be worked on/ changed but it takes time. You will notice that this has/ is changing with newer generation

    Blindly religious- with religion, the emphasis is in the act as opposed to the heart. For most Nigerian Christians, there is a need to be seen as religious as if to show the world/ impress others. Are we loving God? Are we showing love to our neighbours (including strangers, including Samaritans). I wont even go into Nigerians approach on helping others selflessly esp when there is no reward or noone around to see us do it

    But they tried (I refuse to call that sentimental)- there is a fine line between speaking words of encouragement ppl when they don't perform their best and enabling mediocrity

    Cowardice- it is easier to pick faults in others than in oneself. Unfortunately not limited to Nigerians. The strongest ppl in the world are those that can sit back and figure out what they did wrong. Once the have, the next step is figure out a way to fix it. In a way that is what Ese is trying to do, although….

    Sexist- funny enuf, a lot of women encourage this even younger ones.

    Monarchial- most Nigerians will make good junior soldiers. Every senior soldier's dream

    Small success- this is quite unfortunate. The smallness of our dreams will impact the extent of our success. It is partly driven by selfishness. I wanna make be rich vs I wanna change the world. PS- changing the world does not mean being Steve Jobs or MLK, but it is making a decision to do something that has never been done before or do something that has been done before in a way it has never been done before. Whilst it may ultimately lead to more £, the primary driver is to want to provide a service to others. I know there are a few already but I really pray for a generation of changers, of those who are not satisfied with small successes but who are hungry enuf to drive the transformation Nigeria is due to have.

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    • thetoolsman says:

      On suppressed emotions, yes things are changing with the newer generations but then again my fear here is why they are? We've not identified this as a cultural problem so the change isn't based on this. Most of it is just down to our "rapid westernization". It's very very much on the surface.

      But they tried – trust me, this goes way beyond words of encouragement. Dont limit this point to my examples, maybe then you'd understand better what I was trying to say.

      Cowardice – Not quite sure I agree thats what Ese is trying to do. My point here is how we have this blame game culture. We're always after "who did it? whose fault is it?" instead of how do we fix it? What needs to be done NOW?

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  • ijebuPrincess says:

    At first I had decided I wasn’t going to comment, but going through the comments I changed my mind. Still I don’t even know where to start from.

    First I applaud toolsman for this article, he hit the nail on the head. Now while I don’t agree with everything he said, his opinions where well thought out and appropriately put acroos, as they should be.

    My sentiments are these; Nigerians are filled with hate, flowing from a lot of what we experience in our daily lives, how we were brought up, and our own personal characteristics. We thus tend to tranlate this into sarcasm, jealousy, criticism, hollier than thou attitude, better than you attitude, being judgemental, etc. Just take a stroll on the streets of twitter and you’ll understand what I mean.

    To Esse Walters, if she wanted to warn d church and get ‘closure’ she could have grabbed a mic, stood in front of church and told her story. I don’t have an issue with her or her story, all I think is she should stop trying to present herself in any way as a victim. If you idolize your pastor and place him as a God then that’s no ones fault but yours.

    To Lola, like someone said, its only if you’ve experiences such, or you have a deep belief in such that you can understand. @rezza, you choose to support esse and not do same for lolan please understand thyat that’s your opinion and you shouldn’t reprimand other people for having theirs. You should keep an open mind always.

    As for pastor Biodun, he remains guilty until proven innocent. If found guilty then appropriate punishment should be meted out. Until then let’s…

    The end!

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    • thetoolsman says:

      Thanks. Good comment. "Just take a stroll on the streets of twitter and you'll understand what I mean."… I keep talking about writing a book solely based on "Nigerian Twitter" and people dont understand what I mean when I say this.

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      • Sisi Ijebu says:

        @thetoolsman please write it, I'll buy it, I'll even help you promote it. Nigerian twitter makes "black twitter" look like an online Mensa Convention for world peace.

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    • Toyin says:

      God bless u, omo ijebu. U forgot to mention that we are also myopic and judgmental.
      God also bless Tula for this post because this weekend has been full of intrigues. A foreigner on Friday gave his perspectives on how he sees Nigeria and some people were up in arms about what he wrote despite them knowing that it was the truth.
      Why do we have to be this way? can't we look at issues with a little more introspection before showing our "culture"? i do hope that for our children's sake, things will change sometime soon.

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    • Rezza says:

      *sigh*

      I stated my opinion. I don’t see a reprimand anywhere else. Or did I post more than once?

      I’m not after the truth; I’m not sure we’ll ever know it. What I’m after is what the post started out to achieve in the first place. What happened was not a crime, so the issue of guilt or innocence does not arise. What I meant was: if the pastor feels he’s being defamed as a result of a post that was supposed to help other women, then he can sue. No long thing!

      And as for Lola, I believe I said I had nothing to say. That is still my position. :D

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    • Rezza says:

      *sigh*

      I stated my opinion. I don’t see a reprimand anywhere else. Or did I post more than once?

      I’m not after the truth; I’m not sure we’ll ever know it. What I’m after is what the post started out to achieve in the first place. What happened was not a crime, so the issue of guilt or innocence does not arise. What I meant was: if the pastor feels he’s being defamed as a result of a post that was supposed to help other women, then he can sue. No long thing!

      And as for Lola, I believe I said I had nothing to say. That is still my position. :D

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  • chuka.. says:

    Dear Sir,I read the posts kinda much later than others and sincerely I couldn’t bring myself to dispute or refute the point you made save for one…

    Please don’t ever call the average Nigerian Lazy. You can never find a more resilient lot.

    Blame them for copying in view of the music and sports instances you raised.

    Make a “Biology Culture” of two countries bring your brits into Nigeria and her tumultious situation/govt and put an average nigerian in the space he left….I need not tell the result.

    I wholly relate to grouse with Nigeria on that we sit on same boat yet in opposite direction..

    So in summary to some extent in the above post I accuse you of a mono-causal analysis and one-dimensional thinking… Cursing the darkness (playing up disadvantages) rather than light a candle(vice versa)…

    I enjoyed the post all the same..

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    • thetoolsman says:

      Thanks Chuka. Like I said in the footnote, of course I could balance out the post by doing a list of the positives but I've written a lot about that in the past and I did this post as a sort of response to the predominantly negative reactions to the two posts I highlighted.
      On the point about the average Nigerian being lazy, I'm still not convinced. Resilience doesn't necessarily counter my point on laziness. I spoke about being wrongfully driven. yes, we can we hardworking but only when we want to (which isn't most of the time). Some Japanese leader also made a comment about swapping countries and he was so convinced his people would turn around Nigerian way more than how we'd improve what they had done with their country. Asians, now those are hard working people – always pushing the limits. Like I said, I'm yet to be convinced.

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    • jayajade says:

      Resilience and laziness are not mutually exclusive attributes

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  • ijebuPrincess says:

    Sorry for all the mistakes, abeg make una no vex. Was typing in a hurry. Yeah, and the pastor biodun part, I meant innocent until proven guilty.

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  • Lani says:

    Tribalism/Ethnic-ism (Spell checker put in the hyphen, I dunno) – The questions I hate the most and avoid answering as much as possible are, "What state are you from?" and "Which tribe are you?" The closer you are to the asker's own state or tribe, the friendlier they get. State of origin and tribe matter too much to us. It's evident in the sweeping generalisations we make of other ethnic groups and how we casually insult them when we're among people of our own tribe.

    I'm sure there's no country where some version of tribalism doesn't exist but because we are all vastly different (like you said, 250+ kinds of different) , I feel it holds us back more.

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    • larz says:

      A mentor (and no he is not Nigerian) once said to me that people like to seek common ground. Did we go to the same school, are we from the same village, is my best frn from your country/ village etc. Whilst it might not be solid enough to hold a relationship/ build a network, it is a start. If I build an important network on the basis of where I come from then no harm no foul. It really is not limited to Nigerians

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  • Star says:

    Off point, can I just say I love the silk Nigerian Flag.

    We have scary cultures in this country that covers multitudes of crimes and even allows it. We aren't even allowed to question these fuckeries sef, due to selfish reasons such as age, religion, sex, etc. how can people learn and act right when they can't express their observations or reservations freely? We are our own enemies, time and time again.

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  • MPDchic says:

    I totally agree with d wrong motivation statement n I’ll like to add dat we work really HARD n not smart cos In my opinion your intellect is all you really need to make a difference and push u up d ladder/social ranks. For us if it doesn’t brk ur back n u sweat ur life away like EVRY1 else means u are not doing enough. We prefer to do wot evry1 else is doing rather forge individual paths to success. And dis blind followers behaviour seriously irks me, dnt understand y in Nigeria challenging d “authority” is seen as being rude and I’ll now relate dis to d Ese chic’s story. Nobody forced her to ave an affair with a Pastor and if she was naïve enough she shouldn’t blame ny1 for dat. I’m a born again Christian and the Holy spirit convicts me of what’s right and what’s not. I follow the bible not the pastor. We need to fellowship with saint to grow spiritually but even God doesn’t take away ur free will and since she wasn’t raped she should have just confessed her sins asked for forgiveness and move on like other Christians and as for the pastor when he decides to restitute he’ll ask her forgiveness for abusing his position.

    I love this post cos we’ve been having dis discussion and I keep telling my mum our culture is very annoying. All dey want is to turn evry1 to blind Yes men. Sum times when doing a chore n I use a more effective method my mum will insist I do it her way even if she’ll later agree my way was more effective. Coward mentality is wots killing us.

    But about d BBA, I won’t lie I was a bit hurt by d fact we dint win but dats just solidarity for my fellow country man n sum1 I was rooting for dnt know understand d angle Nigerians decided to take it to on twitter.

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    • 0latoxic says:

      First, "And dis blind followers behaviour seriously irks me, dnt understand y in Nigeria challenging d "authority" is seen as being rude and I'll now relate dis to d Ese chic's story"

      Then, "…since she wasn't raped she should have just confessed her sins asked for forgiveness and move on like other Christians"

      There is a gross contradiction here.

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  • Phoebe says:

    I agree with Afoma. I’d rather not comment on the Ese Walters issue but regarding Lola Akindele’s, just like Feyikunmi said, it can only be understood by those who have a personal relationship with God and understand the Holy Spirit. Only those with a carnal mind will try to rationalise and seek sense from incidences such as this; the way of God is not the way of man. I die a little inside when people mock God’s work just cuz it doesn’t make sense to them or whatever reason they can come up w/. I’m pretty sure if the birth of Jesus was to happen in this age, y’all will mock Mary for conceiving by the holy spirit and go ” babe , you collected preek before your wedding night just own up to it” , “holy spirit ko, *insert something else* ni” “make Holy Spirit visit me make I collect my own holy D oh” and all sorts of nonsense. All I’m saying is, there’s no “rationalisation” w/ God, he’s the maker of the earth, the boss of the shebang, His ways do not always have to make sense to man, afterall He is wiser than us all. Fini.

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  • MPDchic says:

    I totally agree with d wrong motivation statement n I’ll like to add dat we work really HARD n not smart cos In my opinion your intellect is all you really need to make a difference and push u up d ladder/social ranks. For us if it doesn’t brk ur back n u sweat ur life away like EVRY1 else means u are not doing enough. We prefer to do wot evry1 else is doing rather forge individual paths to success. And dis blind followers behaviour seriously irks me, dnt understand y in Nigeria challenging d “authority” is seen as being rude and I’ll now relate dis to d Ese chic’s story. Nobody forced her to ave an affair with a Pastor and if she was naïve enough she shouldn’t blame ny1 for dat. I’m a born again Christian and the Holy spirit convicts me of what’s right and what’s not. I follow the bible not the pastor. We need to fellowship with saint to grow spiritually but even God doesn’t take away ur free will and since she wasn’t raped she should have just confessed her sins asked for forgiveness and move on like other Christians and as for the pastor when he decides to restitute he’ll ask her forgiveness for abusing his position.
    I love this post cos we’ve been having dis discussion and I keep telling my mum our culture is very annoying. All dey want is to turn evry1 to blind Yes men. Sum times when doing a chore n I use a more effective method my mum will insist I do it her way even if she’ll later agree my way was more effective. Coward’s mentality is wots killing us.
    But about d BBA, I won’t lie I was a bit hurt by d fact we dint win but dats just solidarity for my fellow country man n sum1 I was rooting for dnt know understand d angle Nigerians decided to take it to on twitter.

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  • jayajade says:

    *sigh*
    I apologize in advance for this lengthy comment.

    I spent a very fun, non-productive (business-wise) weekend with my younger cousins who came to visit with fam from the UK. They'd been to their hometown for a family event and came back angry. Their cousins had poached all their stuff…. i'm talking down to their bras and an older one (about 10yrs older) even took money without their consent. They said they got the feeling everyone was 'out to get them' and I found myself getting more angry as the conversation went on. After a lengthy discussion about human behavior with them (refreshingly intelligent for 18 and 22) We came to a rough conclusion that Nigerians seem to have a low self esteem complex. This creates everything else you have listed in this post and even those not listed. people use religion and money/power as a crutch, a facade…. because they do not truly believe that they can be any better than they are. I have heard people quote the Qur'an and Bible passages that talk about contentment and your fate/destiny in life – severely mistranslated (IMO) these people use this to explain their lot in life and extort people and somehow at the same time judge people who do not follow these mistranslated tenets they live by. I know not everyone will be Bill Gates (the economy would be a mess) but why not determine to be the best 'cog in the wheel' in the history of wheels? better yourself and don't be so greedy. stop hiding behind religion to explain your shortcomings and why you haven't made a particular move in life. If you are happy with where you are do not berate someone else for goodness' sake.
    So much else I want to write…. I've probably also gone off-point somewhere….. ah well my 2kobo for today

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  • Muhammad says:

    I agree with most of your points. The ones I disagree with aren’t too popular so I’ll probably just bottle them (as a true Nigerian).

    To add my own bit to the list of instances proving and average Nigerians hypocrisy and all, was the case of a friend, who is usually too loud and overly opinionated about happenings in the country. During the whole Sanusi Lamidos alleged illicit affair, she was all out asking for his head and what not, I drew her attention to the fact that those things were mere allegations and he did deny it, but she won’t hear nothing. Fastfoward to Pastor Fatoyinbos incident, my friend went all “touch not the anointing” on me, she even added that the man of God has said it wasn’t true so she believed, when I reminded her about the SLS convo, she tried to rationalise it by saying that they hold different offices. Forgetting that holding Gods office (which is usually permanent) is higher than holding a temporary man-made office.

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  • Kevwe says:

    Blindly religious, hypocritical and fooking judgemental are the stand-outs.

    I must admit though, I’ve stopped speaking up when people(including my friends) show disgusting sexism and small minded bigotry on sensitive matters such as gay rights, women, religion… So I guess I’m a coward.

    Oh and I personally have a MAJOR issue with suppressed emotions. We need to do better than our parents/fore-fathers. The words “I love you” have never been spoken in some Nigerian homes. Never

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  • Tola says:

    Yo Toolsman, next time I'm in the country, I am buying you a drink for this. DUDE, it's like you read my freaking mind. I agree

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  • Enajyte says:

    I wouldn't die for Nigeria either. I still consider myself patriotic. That said, I agree with most of what you said about the Nigerian Culture. Most Nigerians have them in varying degrees. Myself included. I'm changing by the day though.

    Lucky for me I work with teens/young adults so I get a chance to practice before I have kids of my own. Positively affirming, openness, treating both sexes with equal respect, listening, and being honest about my flaws has helped me a lot in my work.

    For the Lola story, it read like a fantasy novel and since my faith no carry me reach, I choose not to comment.

    Ese Walter's story struck a chord especially after I read most of the self-righteous comments. I salute her bravery. I had a terrible experience as a 19 year old which I suppressed. I was scared I would be blamed. Fast forward 5 years and I dredge up the courage to share and it's "since he didn't put a gun to your head or drug you, it's your fault." I'm still healing.

    Maybe if I couldn't relate I'd be one of the self-righteous commenters, I don't know.

    But I do know this: The Nigerian Culture is going to be with us for a long time to come. The best we can do is make sure we give our kids and the people around us a better deal.

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    • Rezza says:

      Ese Walter's story struck a chord especially after I read most of the self-righteous comments. I salute her bravery. I had a terrible experience as a 19 year old which I suppressed. I was scared I would be blamed. Fast forward 5 years and I dredge up the courage to share and it's "since he didn't put a gun to your head or drug you, it's your fault." I'm still healing.

      This, right here, was the point of the original post!

      @Enajyte, I hope you find and peace and healing.

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  • Bunmi says:

    I love this post. Like the way it just deals with all the drama that occurred over the weekend and the ever present ‘Nigerian culture’.
    I agree with the Judgemental bit too.

    Few times I’ve told my future plans to ‘people’ I get the ooo you’re girl, you have to work really hard and long and know people to get where you want, what of a husband & kids. . .and I just wonder if anyone hasn’t heard of working smart, the concept of fulfilment & the need to leave a mark on the world(even if its just your own little part of it).
    Luckily for me I’m blessed with wonderful older cousins who get it, give me pointers and encourage me.

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  • trafels says:

    Lol Wonder if anyone has realised that calling these folks judgemental, hypocritical etc is being judgemental.

    Lull at work for now, so I'l only touch on the one thing that irks me. Self righteousness (It's like an epidemic in Nigeria). You see it in most of the things we do, we have the belief we're better than the other person which automatically contradicts the golden laws of Christ.

    I read Lola's story & it was intriguing 'cos I'v obviously not felt that before so I don't know if it's possible or not, I just know my short visit to heaven (if I get a chance) won't be on the issue of having a life partner, there's more to life IMO.

    I haven't read the Ese & Pastor's story but I'v seen a lot of twitter comments on it. If the pastor admits to this affair & apologises, will it add any value to my life? If he denies the allegations, it still wouldn't add any value to my life.

    When I'm about to judge people, I think about my flaws & that helps me have a rethink. The plan is to learn from all this & try to make myself a better person every new day of my life, judging people has never helped anyone.

    Good Post Tula.

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  • ki-ki says:

    I’ll sit on the fence with this one please.

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  • bethelbrill says:

    I agree completely with you, you see the way Nigerians reacts to confessions ehn, most times i wonder if these people where all sent from heaven. Just yesterday i saw a post of Facebook, and the womans was asking for help instead of people to advice, they were busing insulting, c`mon guys, we can only decieve ourselves, you would see a girl who is a sex freak come on facebook to insult a person who is even better than her, urghhhh so irritating. Nigerians worship pastors, they never believe they do bad things, even David and Moses sinned against God, who then is a pastor not to sin, even Jesus was tempted 3 good times, what are we saying, for the Ese walters story, she did a good thing by confessing publicly to warn other victims

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  • Lade Tawak says:

    okay. I hate that Nigerians blindly follow a “religious” person. when you talk, they’ll quote touch not my anointed. recently, I was talking with someone about how I read that the UK government was investigating Oyedepo and the person went all righteous on me because he disagreed. I was just stunned.

    another thing I hate is the Nigerian culture of “older is always right” it annoys me. just because you’re older than me doesn’t mean you’re not wrong.

    hypocrisy and sentimentality are mostly a function of older is always right.

    I’m a Christian too and I believe God gave us brains to think and not follow people around like stupid sheep.

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  • Ok, let me first apologise for this long ass post. I tried to cut it down but no joy.

    If Im going to be honest. You lost and alienated me at the title 'Why I hate Nigerian Culture". I had made up my mind about this post before I even read it. Your title could have been "What I hate about Nigerian Culture" or something, this one makes you sound like this bitter and jaded indivdual -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TA4AYQ2mFU&li… -> even if your points are much more hers.

    We may not tell or family that we love them every week, but it'll be even harder to find a Nigerian kid say 'Fuck you Mum" or "Leave me the fuck alone Dad" as might be more common elsewhere and especially in the West.

    Being 'Blindly Religous' can definitely be a huge flaw and often is, especially when it clouds your judgement and logic. But It can also be a huge asset. You need to have a conversation with a depressed individual who doesn't have a God to turn to in times of despair. I think the flaw in this case is being Hypocritically Religious. We remember God when its easy to do so. We dont think WWJD when its a tough call.

    I'm not suggesting for one minute that the Nigerian culture is flawless. Shit no. But i do not think your article fairly qualifies what our 'general' cultural insufficiencies are. I dont want to do analysis on every single point you made but you make several unfair generalisations (e.g complacently watching a horrible Nollywood movie then going out to murk a thief isn't really on the average Nigerian's daily timetable) which are either very specific and an untrue average or way to general to even qualify as a Nigerian thing (e.g your point on sexism, i've never ever ever heard of a "high maintenance man" as a thing in any culture, i don't think its even a valid example to give as it doesn't even have anything to do with female liberalisation. I don't think feminists are protesting so they can have lazy men sponge off them. However, in reality, in many Nigerian homes, the women are the effective breadwinners of the family or have higher salaries than their husbands).

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    • thetoolsman says:

      Thank you dropping the comment. I think you'll agree with me that there'll almost be a valid counter argument for every example given under all the points I made. Most of these points are somewhat relative, it's either you see it one way or the other. As much as I see your point on the 'Fuck you Mum" bit, all you have to do is look further down my list and I can tell you why you hardly hear kids use such words with their parents. I don't think we can tackle these points in isolation. When I talk about suppressed emotions isn't there a possibility it could be as a result of our blind respect for 'leaders'? Yes, an average Nigerian won't curse their parent but how many times have you thought to yourself "But Mum, that's actually a stupid suggestion"?

      Yes, I made generalisations, it's some thing I do alot here because it's a blog post and not a newspaper editorial. It's barely enough room for 1000 words to stir up thoughts in the minds of the readers and to get them talking. Thanks again for commenting..

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  • Funke says:

    This post was interesting. I don't agree with everything you've said but, some are very cogent points.

    It is very scary the rate at which a lot of "idolize" men of God. Growing up in C&S church (omo igbala ke halleluyah!!!), I would see grown ass men and women haunting prophets and prophetesses up and down for visions and messages. Some people can't even take two shits without the prophet, prophetess, pastor, leader etc giving them the go ahead! Blind followership, heard mentality will do us in one day. Is it not blind obedience that led the followers of the Christian Cult leader (I forget his name) to kill themselves in a mass suicide some years ago? The bible I read teaches the importance of a PERSONAL relationship with God. The bible I read, talks about accountability and the fallibility of man. A lot of us don't follow God again, we follow the pastors, prophets and prophetesses.

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  • Funke says:

    Sexual abuse is not the only kind of abuse out there. Ese is not claiming she was abused sexually. If the story is true, then there was a clear case abuse of power involved. It is sad to see that a lot of Nigerians. especially women have become so desensitized to arrant abuse of power in our country, that instead of seeing this situation for what it is and trying to do the right thing, we are being sentimental and talking rubbish. God is the ultimate judge yes! but there is provision for accountability even in Christianity. Who governs the governors? who leads the leaders? who counsels the counselors?

    Be afraid of the man who is accountable to no one!

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    • BlackPearl says:

      OMG! Thank you for finally mentioning abuse of power! Everybody keeps saying it was consensual… You would be surprised…
      I will not say more than that.
      and "Be afraid of the man who is accountable to no one".. amen!!!

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  • Misse says:

    Wow! I think I just found my voice on your blog. Culture and Religion is a very interesting and highly arguable topic to me. It's like this post eat my exact words, typically true about Nigerians. It is so hard to wrap my head around the reason for this 'our behaviour'. But what ever it is, it is a disease that is eating us deep and the cause for which you cannot die for this nation. As for Lola Adebisi's story I do not know her personally I'm only a reader of story. People think very differently; i might read something, the person beside me might read the same thing but our thoughts and analysis of that issue will be different. people can only criticise or say what the think or feel, but for these people to place judgment on lola is totally and absolutely wrong. The story she has portrayed to her readers according to most of the comments i have read are saying four things that she is delusional and it's (the story) highly doubtful, the story is true in a way, Islamic religion is doubtful, God had a greater plan for her husband which could be the reason for his conversion. You see why I say people analyse things differently! The comment section I'm well aware of is there for people to express their opinions about what they feel concerning the story and it is so typical of Nigerians to castigate and be all judgemental towards lola's story instead of just expressing their thoughts. I could go on and on of how people share the stories of their lives with other people as a source of encouragement but instead they see it differently and choose to turn your issue into a debate course! That's human nature for you! We live in a world where everybody wants to show that their opinions matters more than others but hey! Just have your say on the issue and let's all move on! We have greater things to worry about. We haven't achieved world peace yet remember! So yeah, tools man your blog is amazing! I'm a first time reader I'd love to be on here more frequently.

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  • some key things you forgot to add, Nigerians are liars, fraudsters, murderous thieves, lascivious whore-mongers, and 100 shades of pure evil!
    I find the 9ja bashing in the post and on almost all the comments really pathetic!

    who exactly are these 'Nigerians' we've so tried, crucified, and nailed to the cross? I guess they include Ese, Lola, and every other person carrying the green passport who isn't your family or close friend.
    The human nature has both its good sides and its bad sides, the side you choose to focus on, is what will remain prevalent (at least to you).
    which 'culture' trait mentioned there is so peculiar to Nigeria and hasnt been displayed by persons in other countries?
    Yes we have are faults (truck loads), but we all know that. However, lets not fan the embers of resentment, dissatisfaction, and disunity in our beloved country by putting so much energy on them. You attract what you focus on.

    Let's focus on the good in our country and we'll get more of that.

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  • @Rjaf says:

    Just grateful that Tula found both articles… When I read Lola's testimony I knew the internet was going to implode on itself, but I will leave that one alone.

    On the Nigerian culture thing, I can see where you are coming from. It is the hyper-judgementalism and extreme herd culture that gets me every time. And naturally, these attributes have seeped directly into the way we worship (regardless of faith/ lack thereof). The Ese girl is not painting herself as a saint, so there was no need for her to be threatened on social media (but that's what a blog is for no?) My issue is that as a human being…. let alone a Christian, why isn't it seen as important that checks and balances are put in place to prevent people, particularly in places of power to prevent things like this happening? As a young/ new Christian, I remember the first thing I noticed about my new church was that no male leader… whether bible study group member or front of house, or video tech guy, met in an enclosed space without another female present (ideally his wife). I picked up on it one day and was told that it was to protect both parties from sin, because we are human and crap happens. What I thought was too cautious now strikes me as common sense.
    I'll leave it there. Then we wonder why people don't take Christianity seriously. SMH

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  • ola says:

    *sitting in recling chair looking at you guys through the top rim of my harry potter inspired glasses with a copy of Chinua Achebe’s The trouble with Nigeria in hand*

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  • ola says:

    Sigh* i’m sure there’ll be so much wisdom in these comments. Father lord grant me the patience to read them all.

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  • ola says:

    TNC. Home of big big grammar. its good tho. Learning by association

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  • Hello Nigeria says:

    Add to what you have mentioned, Nigerian are racist.

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  • melissa says:

    Most nigerians are anything but friendly. Far from its. They are never pleasent unless they or a closer family member has something to gain

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  • Guy says:

    The greatest gift I will ever give to my kids is hide their Nigerian culture from them. I am currently in my mid 20’s and I can swear the emotional damage that follow Nigerian stereotypes (especially those from the east) are too great and I plan to love my kids too much for that rubbish. The incredible amounts of negativity and the stupid outdated views on power are outrageous!!! Nigeria is a visual representation of greed manifest in a society. The day I see Nigerians walking the walk alongside talking big game, will be the day I return.

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