I was reading something posted by a friend on Facebook where he was discussing a man who had detailed how he endured abuse at the hands of his wife. He tried several times to report her to the police and they ridiculed him, asking how he can be abused by a woman. In fact, they told him he was not man enough if his wife would abuse him and he came crying to them. The husband retaliated once and he was jailed. From then on, he made a decision not to lay hands on his wife lest he kills her. He moved out of their home but still supports her and their children.
As I write, I imagine the wife screaming at the husband and telling him that he was useless. I see the husband sitting there trying to ignore the woman but she presses on harder. The man stands up asking her to repeat what she is saying and she does. What follows is the man beating the ‘evil spirit’ out of her. She cries and screams “he is killing me.” The neighbours come in to help and find her crying hysterically, telling them how her husband had beaten her. I am sure she goes on to lie about the conversation they had earlier on, leaving the neighbour to blame the husband as it is “confirmed” that men are perpetrators of violence or abuse.
The question that arises then is- are we, women the worst abusers? I do not have an answer to this question myself but I know straight up that some women have mastered the art of verbal and emotional abuse. On top of this we have also mastered the good lie skill – “that which will not kill you, will make you better.” Women are very good at emotional abuse and we become very defensive about it. We were created with so much intelligence which we exercise wrongly. The abuse that we exert is extreme and has no visible scars and only then, when the men beat us, do we scream criminal. The words that come out of our mouths push the men to the limit and they beat us.
Men accepted a long time ago that they were the culprits of abuse. It is time for the women to also accept that they are guilty as well. We are so abusive but we do not have the strength to withstand the fight with men. I remember a time when I was in a toxic relationship myself, I did not want to let go although I pointed out faults to my boyfriend. As I look back I am surprised at the angry defensive person I was. I would argue with him for taking a power nap in the middle of the day and would mention how he needed to work on his life. I would scream at him for no reason. Finally, he felt it was time to break it off. He called me out on things that I did, how I was so controlling and wanted things done my way. He pointed to me the anger and hate that was within and I was not aware of it. I defended myself to the point of hurting his feelings and I did not know I was controlling and actually abusive to him.
It does not matter how independent we are or how much we earn as women but respect in all things is important. Men should take charge but they themselves need to show the women respect and adoration then the world would be a better place for all of us. It is shocking how a sweet thing that we are supposed to enjoy hurts the world so much. The damage that women do to men is powerful. Spoken word shutters bones, self-esteem and personality. A person who is being reminded every day that he is ugly, worthless, not a husband or father becomes angry. Anger is poison to the soul, destroys every good thing within and any good deed that had a chance of growing. It extends to the rest of the world, people kill and steal from each other and rape.
We are all guilty. Somehow we have committed sin with our mouth. The words that we have planted in someone’s life were not words of encouragement. The world is filled with rage. We will have nothing to offer the next generation but a world filled with immorality.
Do we really want to see that happening to us?
Photo Credit: CLASSIC105