I met you at the store. You are tall, dark and handsome. You are Christian and Yoruba. You asked me out, I said yes. We went on a date, to a waterside restaurant. You said I had a pretty smile, I said I loved the food. We went on another date, and another, and another. You said I should be your girlfriend. I said yes.

You met my parents. My mother liked that you are Yoruba and Christian and rich. My father liked that you are a business man and you support Manchester United. I met your family. Your sisters liked that I am pretty. Your father liked that I have a Masters degree in Urban Design. Your mother liked that I am Yoruba and Christian and have wide hips to bear many children.

We went everywhere together. You took me to Terra kulture to watch the plays. I baked you cakes every Saturday. You gave me a warm feeling of hot chocolate at the pit of my stomach. You said you loved me.

I met him at the bank. He is muscled, fair and hunky. He put his hand on my lower back and whispered in my ear. We went to have drinks at the bar beside his office. He mixed me a drink and said I had long, hot legs. I giggled and grinned at his every joke. He asked me to be his. I told him I had you.

You asked me who he was. I said nobody. You asked me to marry you. I stuttered and stammered. I said no. You asked why. I said you gave me a warm feeling of hot chocolate at the pit of my stomach. But he made me feel like fire burned on my inside. I asked you what love was without passion. You said fire could die too. You cried. I left.

He took me to Brazil. He took me to a rock concert. We moved in together. He made me feel. He made me brim over with unbridled emotion. He said he didn’t believe in God. I said I did. We fought. Then we made up. We said we could create a balance. He said he didn’t want children. I said I did. We fought again. We didn’t make up.

I looked for you. I didn’t find you. I looked harder. Then I found you. You said you missed me. I said I did too. I said I was comfortable with hot chocolate at the pit of my stomach. You said you weren’t. You said you’d found another. That she said you gave her fire in her bones. That you loved her. I begged you. I cried. You hugged me. You left.

********

Happy Birthday to a maestro of words, my partner and friend – Bankole, Afroman. Please leave your comments below and don’t forget to send in your details to tnc@thenakedconvos.com if you’d like an invite to #TNC2.

Comments
  • lade

    First ?

    October 18, 2011
    • ladee

      Yes. Fire can /will die…… But leaves a warm glow behind……

      October 18, 2011
  • Muse

    First?

    October 18, 2011
  • frodo

    😀

    October 18, 2011
  • Missmau

    Yayyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1st

    October 18, 2011
  • first 5

    First 5 ?

    October 18, 2011
  • Missmau

    You people sef!!!! Ahnahn! Cant i be 1st for once??? 🙁

    October 18, 2011
  • all heart

    2nd?

    This is a lovely post. It is the story of life. You find someone that lights a fire in you, but like he said, fire can die.

    October 18, 2011
    • all heart

      Ok, not 2nd. First 10 is fine.

      October 18, 2011
  • Muse

    Ah well, maybe next time. Nice Post BTW

    October 18, 2011
  • anon

    This hits very close to home for me

    October 18, 2011
  • Sigh. This happens a lot. People exchange friendship and stability for passion and lose out on wonderful relationships

    October 18, 2011
  • bimbo

    All I can say is hehehehhe ntoi! But serz tho na she fuck up pass. No problem with wantn fire but y did she think she cld go back to hot chocolate and he'd take her back???? I'm all for making unpopular decisions but when u, pls darling stick with d results. Dnt come and be feelin smart

    October 18, 2011
  • Missmau

    Awwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!! This is sooo nice and true!! Human beings and their insatiable wants! Compromise is KEY in every relationship! But what is love without passion? and what is marriage without kids??? Kai!!! We should always weigh our options (work on things that can be worked on) and try to build the passion. That is something that can be worked on. Such a pity!

    October 18, 2011
  • Cutie

    This is a wonderful piece.. It's life…A girl's life.. How it can be on a first come first served basis… It's beautiful

    October 18, 2011
  • nikki

    :(….i want both everlastin love n hot steamin passion…hope i cn get both.

    October 18, 2011
  • *teary eyed* y cudnt he just forgv her&take her back…

    Its a lovely story,beautifully written. meLikey. 🙂

    October 18, 2011
  • opeolu

    U don't kno wat u got till u loose it…very sad but life is such

    October 18, 2011
  • beeawo

    You have something good but you leave it for something great only to find that what was good was actually great in its own way but its to late. Oh well life goes on.

    October 18, 2011
  • kechilauren

    The way this story sends out a serious message and still maintains simplicity is actuallyy commendable. Nice work Betty.

    This just shows that in as much as we desire Passion, understanding and compatibility is key in relationship, we just have to find that balance.

    October 18, 2011
  • mia

    Wow! This is the story of choices fuelled by faulty judgement. I'm in this kind of situation-i'm just hoping for a happy ending because Guy1 is certainly not going to have me back. The grass is not always greener on the other side.

    October 18, 2011
  • ibetapassmynebo.

    Awwwww 🙁 🙁 🙁

    October 18, 2011
  • dunch

    I don't like fires, they leave inmense destruction in their wake.

    I like poetic nature of this piece.

    October 18, 2011
  • mia

    Wow! This is the story of choices fuelled by faulty judgement and emotions gone hay-wire. I'm in this kind of situation-i'm just hoping for a happy ending because Guy1 is certainly not going to have me back. The grass is not always greener on the other side.

    October 18, 2011
  • The wisdom encapsulated in this post is beauty itself, as is the writer.

    Thank you, Betty…

    October 18, 2011
    • laydeelars

      i agree

      October 18, 2011
  • Didi

    Story of my life :(…

    But sometimes, guy 2 might just be the one ^_^

    October 18, 2011
  • Adaora

    oh wow! that's the thing with life.you give up one good thing for something you think is better and in the end you lose.

    October 18, 2011
  • Osho

    all she wanted was not to settle for less (as she might have tot) and she lost it all.

    not fair

    lovely post.

    October 18, 2011
    • mabijo

      What would be unfair would be the guy settling for less. Why not settle for someone that thinks the world of you.

      October 18, 2011
  • Me.

    Beautifully written.ive bn in this kinda situation.I left 'HOME' for another n of cos like in d post we fought n found no balance.sigh..i went back 'HOME' and *smiles* he embraced me n told me he had been waitn for me.im sure one lucky girl.*smiles* OH WELL DAT WAS DEN.WE HAVE GNE OUR SEPERATE WAYS NOW.LOL

    October 18, 2011
  • Configuring

    'that she said you gave her fire in her bones', my favourite line. Someone will always appreciate what you throw down – all I can say is, it would've been a terrible story if he had taken her back!

    October 18, 2011
  • Beautifully written. Sometimes we don't realise when we have something treasurable till it's gone. Maybe it's the quest for change…something new…something adventurous? Or just simply greed? Afterall, we're humans; selfish by nature and undoubtedly flawed. It's all about learning to balance really.

    October 18, 2011
  • Ayaba

    This is sad, yet so common place. Most times we leave pretty good long lasting relationships for temporary passion forgetting that fire eventually always dies. Beautiful post Pemi :*

    October 18, 2011
  • RILEY

    YO!!! I done been telling y'all fuckers since da beginning of time that bitches be fucking stupid yo! Stupider than a bag of doornails. WTF is this bitch problem niccuh?

    The bitch wanna feel like chocolate and then wanna feel like fire? Bitch is yo skanky ho ass a kitchen or some shit? What next? What wanna feel like ice cream? Let a niccuh cum on your face so ya can feel liike a mofucking chocolate sundae? Bitch please.

    The fuckin ho had a good nigga but she tripped and ran off for some Dick and braziliam lounging. Idiot. Good the the 1st nigga see thru that stupid bitch and don't take back her skank ass. Was me yo? I'd pretend to take her back then fuck the bitch in the ass and then dump her again yo. Fucking stupid bitch.

    So many fuckin bitches like this ho too ya know. I done met some of y'all. Stupid and fuck and easy to fuck too. Bitches fuck you all. Keep leaving yo good, smart, riich, loving niggas for Thugs like me. Imma fuck yo ass till it wider than the atlantic and then send yo off back to him. Ya know what tho bitch? Ya done fucked him up and now he's just like me. Ha fucking ha! Slut.

    In summary

    1. Biitches be stupid yo, all they need is dick.

    2. This bitch in da story is a kitchen-brain slut.

    3. This biitch be the stupidest yet

    4. This good nigga gone turn into a mofucker just like me.

    I'm done.

    Riley out.

    October 18, 2011
    • Terdoh

      "Let a niccuh cum on your face so ya can feel liike a mofucking chocolate sundae? Bitch please."

      How do you think of these??

      October 18, 2011
    • mahnyuell

      and BTW your 'gangsta talk'(or whatever the fuck you're tryna pull here) doesnt cover up for your numerous #gbagauns

      i'm done, Mahnyuell out 🙂

      October 18, 2011
    • Uncle tente

      you know, i was about to comment on how foul you are, but truth is that I am exactly like you Mr. Riley, that mofucker. Was someone's hot chocolate with marshmallows but she left simply because she had a period of doubt and instead of her to think about how to make things better, she decided to go on a "finding herself" tour which included pelvic clapping with different dudes. 8 months later, she came back, but I was changed… As she lies naked on my bed, I'm wondering, should I give her another chance??

      October 20, 2011
  • This is a beautiful piece. You rarely eat your cake and have it. Most people take their loved ones for granted and actually get upset when they move on. People can be selfish, but when you love someone, I believe that selflessness comes with it. Kudos

    Btw, betty don't forget my own movements oh!

    October 18, 2011
  • chinnydiva

    Lovely story telling.

    I don't agree with the generalization, sometimes fire is what we need and what works for us. The warmth lingers even after the embers have burnt out.

    October 18, 2011
  • *sigh*

    Beyond beautiful.

    Very simple…you dunno the value of what you have until you lose it.

    October 18, 2011
  • thetoolsman

    I left. You left.

    Excellent.

    October 18, 2011
  • krimmedic

    This hit close to home. It hit hard.

    Would you rather she stayed with her 'chocolate' and never experience 'fire'? Sometimes,chocolate just isn't enough…and fire won't do either.

    She's lucky though,she has experienced both.

    Maybe she'll find a mix of both,maybe she never will…

    October 18, 2011
  • @immortal teddy bear said it all

    Sigh. This happens a lot. People exchange friendship and stability for passion and lose out on wonderful relationships

    October 18, 2011
  • cikko

    Fabulously written! I laughed half the time. No, I didn't feel sorry for her. I've been Guy1 before. Sucks donkey-ballz! Great work Betty.

    October 18, 2011
  • Genesis

    Payback toh Quality. I love the whole in-your-face style of narration. Nice! Nice!! 😀

    October 18, 2011
    • Arthur Bizkit

      Payback toh Quality. nice reply, First Book.

      October 18, 2011
  • @mizztosin

    Here goes the almost story of my life……..

    hot chocolate at the pit of the stomach is steady and comfortable. But the fire in d bones is ………………..GBOOM. U feel it everywhere.

    But fire always dies. But those few moments when u ve d fire is heavenly!!!

    October 18, 2011
  • Phaitha

    What's funny is Riley made a point. Very often situations like this can turn the warm chocolate kinda guys into something else…sad..I kinda understand where she's coming from..but the bit about going back is just stupid…I would never do that…..have some pride yo!

    October 18, 2011
  • deevagal

    There are 2 ways to look at this-

    1.Sometimes, when things are going so well, we'r deceived into thinking there must be smthing wrong.

    2.Then again, most times, we're all lookin for smthin at every point. She was looking for passion, she jus didn't knw dat was d missin element in her relationshp. If only she'd realised it earlier, mayb she cuda infused some passion into the hot chocolate feeling in her stomach.

    I feel so sorry for her. It cud happen to either one of us, male or female… I can relate to leaving a calm secure love for a more passionate and tumultuous simply becos I feel it was going too smoothly.

    Don't know if I made any sense…

    Lovely lovely story Betty!

    October 18, 2011
  • Mobola

    This was just awesome…I actually felt the story from my insides…what is with this nakedconvos writers sef..just when I had almost given up on them, they both surprise us with fantabulous write ups.

    October 18, 2011
  • It's difficult to use your head when matters of the heart are concerned. We always expect second chances, blame our choices on being human when we lose all sense of reason an run after what is unattainable.

    Embrace warmth, sometimes the fire actually destroys, instead of making us steonger.

    October 18, 2011
  • jessy

    Trash.

    October 18, 2011
  • Meyer Lansky

    This is a wonderful piece…..its babes like dis that will turn a nice guy to a Chukky doll….Some women just do not know what they want.

    October 18, 2011
  • laydeelars

    I have been in a situation where another made me realise that I was in a relationship becuz it was convienient. My decision to end that relationship was somewhat independent from decision to explore a new one with the other. We sometimes need a nudge to change a pattern. From what I have read here. Our girl feels bad now for leaving choc guy for hot coal guy. I think that she made a right choice; they both werent the good enough for her.

    October 18, 2011
  • bimbo

    Hot choclate is boooring. I always say to my mum that I'd rather eat all the 'unhealthy' food and die at 60 than eat tofu and veggie and die at 90. I'd rather have a FULL life than a barely there existence. If this was me, I'd prbly have left choclate dude too. Being loved is boring! Half of it for me is being able to give back. If I can't immo feel smothered.her only mistake was tryna go back. Hell imagine if dude had taken her back, when another 'fire' comes, who's to say she wnt leave again?

    October 18, 2011
    • Fireman

      May you find the fire you seek. May it consume you.

      October 18, 2011
      • bimbo

        Lmaooo. R u an ex?

        October 18, 2011
  • kayshawy

    Being GUY1 is horrible and so painful especially if you are not the hard type and you feel like you have given your all…sigh

    If he has not met another he could possibly take her back, but how did she open her mouth to say she wants to come back?

    What Women Want tho….

    October 18, 2011
  • mistybikers

    dis is nice…d girl made a mistake nd she realised it,tho he didnt take ha back nt everybody doesnt get deir hapi ending so we shdnt judge…i rily lyk d style of writing tho 🙂

    October 18, 2011
  • Love just plain sucks. Just broke up a week ago…and still pissed about it. You never get a package with all positives. The negatives that are present are always big issues. If both of you cannot settle for the positives and tolerate the negatives, save time, money and energy by breaking up and moving on.

    October 18, 2011
  • NaijaToon

    I once left 'girl 1'for a hot fire babe,it lasted for abt a year,we exed each oda cos we knew we were jst having fun and can't end up together.I didn't go back to 'gurl 1' cos I was scared she might say NO.Trust me,its abt 3yrs now and am ready to settle down,wat am looking for is my 'gurl 1' type of gurl

    October 18, 2011
  • MsWaspy

    Oh dear! This is just sad on all levels 🙁 🙁 🙁

    October 18, 2011
  • kheemmy

    Truly touching but it does happen.‎​U̶̲̥̅̊ never know ‎​​ΨђåƮ ? ‎​U̶̲̥̅̊'v got until ‎​U̶̲̥̅̊ lose it.its beta 2 stick wit true friendship den ƒõя̲̣̥ ‎​U̶̲̥̅̊ to look ƒõя̲̣̥ an illusion

    October 18, 2011
  • Arthur Bizkit

    Greener on the other side, Greener on the other side, Greener on the other side. . . Climbing fences hurts. nice story B.

    October 18, 2011
  • bykerboi

    This post has to be in my top five. it really has to be.

    It is so easy to leave steady, calm waters for the whirl wind "sweep you off your feet" romance(I know i've done it). But more often than not, the latter leaves you flat on your ass or results in a face plant.

    It is good to experience that fire at least once in a lifetime. However, it takes more than passion to keep a relationship for a lifetime.

    October 18, 2011
    • Bykerboi

      The grass might seem greener on the other side but if you water and tend yours it would be greener than the other side.

      October 18, 2011
  • Emotions are not to be trusted.

    That will be all for now.

    October 18, 2011
  • keLvin

    *walks in, reads the post, goes to give Betty a peck, salutes Tula, walks out*

    October 18, 2011
  • il cicero

    @riley is back… ok…

    October 18, 2011
  • 'Dania

    I get it. The story, the message behind the story, the comments; everything.

    But I don't know that I would do differently if faced with her choice. And if you really think about it, you just may do the same too.

    *shrug*

    October 18, 2011
  • I totally did this. Left hot chocolate for fire. Fire dumped me after 4 months. But I didn't go back to Hot chocolate, we became really good friends…

    I probably wouldn't do it again. I've experienced Fire. I'd be content hot chocolate now. Or perhaps, not. :s

    October 18, 2011
    • PreyingMantis

      Until you've experienced this particular Fire, don't settle for hot chocolate.

      October 18, 2011
      • OK. PM, we really need to take this our P to the next level, do u not agree?

        October 19, 2011
    • annie

      I think everyone SHOULD experience fire, at least once in their life. Else how can u truly appreciate hot chocolate?

      October 18, 2011
  • Listen, fire is too damn attractive not to pass on the opportunity when it comes. Look, all y'all who've experienced it before will likely choose fire again.

    October 18, 2011
  • Highlandblue

    So would guys leave a faithful steady girl for one who would light their fires? I think people grow at different rates. The guy may have had his fair share of fire and come to settle for hot chocolate having tasted enough. Maybe she hadn't enjoyed the thrills of fire and had to go experiment for herself first. *shrugs*

    October 18, 2011
  • tweety_d_cutey

    Beautiful piece……fire does eventually dies but then again wats love witout passion…..there shld always b a balance……I love this piece n can totally relate with

    October 18, 2011
  • SWATER

    Typical depiction of a Naija girls love life… Especially how the mums liked them cos: "Yoruba and Christian" LOL.

    Mnwhile is smell some fiction in the story: We all know in real life, Guy 1 don fall MOGU… she would followed Guy 2 on all the trips, then come back to get married to Guy 1.

    October 18, 2011
  • Mido

    Because of jokes and muscles …ℓoℓ maybe she should try basket mouth too

    October 18, 2011
  • bii

    True, greener grass on d other side but lik previously mentioned, dats kudos 2 dat gardner! Nurture wot u got or settle 4 ur kind – choc or fire!

    Av given up choc of many yrs 4 fire n fire burned out in 6months. I can live witout d feeling of fire mehn. But dats jus mii

    October 18, 2011
  • moyo_a

    Experienced fire & hot chocolate. Actually used the fire to heat up the chocolate. What can I say? You never can tell. This life is just one big puzzle.

    October 18, 2011
  • Cross

    Lovely piece.

    I felt sorry 4 d babe tho.

    But lyk my nucca Riley said "Bitch deserved it!"

    @PM I see U!

    October 18, 2011
  • annie

    I just wanted to say that as of 17:19pm today i have successfully read every single post on this blog. darisall!

    *now giving myself a well deserved pat on the back & sipping shilled kunu*

    October 18, 2011
    • thetoolsman

      And Ive been following your progress, reading all your comments along the way.. thank you so very much for the interest.

      October 18, 2011
      • annie

        u'r welcome. u'r really REALLY good…& u hv a great team! (y)

        October 19, 2011
    • Terdoh

      I did that too. 🙁

      Don't I get a pat on the back?

      Some maltina? 7UP?

      How about some hot chocolate? I'd like that. 🙂

      October 20, 2011
      • annie

        Sorry, we run a tight ship around these here parts. Only fermented kunu available. 😀

        October 20, 2011
  • T.J

    I think life serves us different grapes. Many of us have the benefit of hindsight cos we'v all tasted fire and hot chocolate@a certain point. Who's to say hot chocolate won't get cold or fire won't keep burning. I feel all these experiences R necessary cos now we know better. It depends on the people involved in d relationship. It's up to either of y'all to keep the fire burning or the chocolate hot but do note, when U find the one, never let go.

    @riley: nice summary tho!!

    October 18, 2011
  • wow!!!!!!!!

    October 18, 2011
  • coded

    Wow nice piece…have a friend who went tru dis n now its too late for her, she was lookin for sparks,life.money,glitters n by d tym she realised it age has dealt wit her. Now she's redy to settle for anytin at all, as long as its convinient. We miss opportunities attimes cos of our insatiable nature to look for more, to feel sometin unique, a change, to see more,know more which turns out lucky for some n fatal for others. But at d end it all boils down to knowin tru rain/shine, thick/thin,better/worse either in family,friend or lover their feelings will neva change even tru tym n no matter aw borin it may look/feel,dats d tru essence of living!

    October 18, 2011
  • agboola

    LAST!

    October 18, 2011
  • "Experience is the best teacher, but who said it had to be YOUR experience" -OlaToxic

    If you've seen or heard of another who chased fire and got burnt, why would you still chase/embrace what you recognise as fire when it crosses your path?

    October 18, 2011
  • mabijo

    I think it's a good thing she experienced both fire and hot chocolate;It'll definitely help her in meeting the right person. Sometimes,we meet people who have great impacts in our life but can't go with us to the future. Be grateful for the lesson.

    October 18, 2011
    • Bykerboi

      Love your point saying that sometimes we meet people who have great impacts in our life but can't go with us to the future.

      October 19, 2011
  • caeyrha

    Nice one,luvd it.

    October 18, 2011
  • Mizdahmi

    Beautiful!

    October 18, 2011
  • Laydeelarz

    @ moyo_a- re: heating up the hot choc- now why didnt I think of that.

    October 18, 2011
  • mia

    @T.J #voiceofwisdom 🙂

    October 19, 2011
  • emalpha

    Beautiful Piece! it's all been said 🙂

    Now two more posts…why do i always have two more posts to go?? 🙁 #carrylast!

    October 19, 2011
    • emalpha

      It's even one to go sef! *note to self* Stop piling these posts. They are good for you…or someone else 🙂

      October 19, 2011
  • jobtha2nd

    This piece was just a great as the previous one.

    Great job, Betty..

    Hot-Chocolate could always be made into burning fire.

    Burning fire to hot chocolate on the other hand, #notWinning.

    Every bit of life should be experienced at one point or the other, but wisdom dictates what you should and shouldn't be a part of. And as @Olatoxic put it, the mistakes you learn from don't necessarily have to be your mistakes.

    October 19, 2011
  • bukiola

    Its good to have the feel of both fire and chocolate but on the long run, i'l rather setle for the hot chocolate and nurture it till it brings fire cos if the first fire dies, getin it back on might b mission impossible

    October 19, 2011
  • Kourt

    I'm about to leave Hot Chocolate for Fire… I'm soo damn scared now 🙁 … But then Fire won't be bad sha. Hot Choco is BORING!!! Like WTF . I have tried everything but nuccah won't just let the darn relationship be great. FIRE on the other hand 😉 😉

    October 19, 2011
  • Redhead

    Dis IMO is betty's best piece yet.

    Very well written and makes a lot of sense.

    October 19, 2011
  • xtra

    This could be me…

    met "him"…

    felt the burning fire…

    didn't leave hot chocolate tho…

    maybe i shdve,cz i just found out he's someone else's "fire"…

    *smh* for myself

    October 20, 2011
  • Viola

    Beautiful writing!

    I can totally relate.

    I had my fire, and now I've got my sweet chocolate but I'm beginning to have a toothache. Life! Too darned complicated!

    Again, beautiful writing 🙂

    October 20, 2011
  • spice

    Nice story and very real too.

    The truth about life is that you will at different times meet someone you could be with.

    The important thing is making sure you can tolerate all the crap in your patner and loving all the spice no matter the degree.

    October 20, 2011
  • Foxy

    hope thisdoesnt happen 2 me soon 🙁

    October 21, 2011
  • Diva

    Beautifully written and rang sooooooooo true for me. In saying that, if you never experience fire….you might as well be dead.

    October 22, 2011
  • .

    Married to Hot Chocolate now but thank God i experienced fire at one point in my life.

    October 22, 2011
  • Kamie

    Love it!

    October 24, 2011
  • Wow! Outstanding!

    December 28, 2011
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