Being in love in a world full of millennials characterised by selfishness, pride, laziness and a sense of entitlement is actually one of the 1000 ways to die young. Given that I am a self-centered, lazy and proud millennial, I have no justification to complain or point fingers….well it’s my story, I’ll point all my fingers and toes if I want to.
It’s a hot Saturday afternoon and a work-free weekend. She has been looking forward to a free weekend for a month now. It is finally here and she has all these things she has planned to do- like playing tennis, visiting the orphanage, studying for her GRE, starting a side hustle, visiting family, sleeping, watching some movies, finishing up a novel, cleaning her house and finally washing her 4c hair.
It’s already 12:30 pm and she has only managed to get out of bed, brush her teeth and eat. She’s terribly bored and lonely and although she has her to-do list for the weekend, the activities are unappealing to her. She’s lonely, so she picks up her phone and calls her girlfriends.
“Baby girl, how far? Would like to see a movie this evening? I’m paying”
Friend 1: “Ah babe, I’m out of town o, went for my cousin’s child’s naming ceremony.”
Friend 2: “I am in school, I have lectures. Maybe tomorrow?”
Friend 3: Doesn’t pick up.
Rather than turn off her phone and sleep- the wise choice- she makes a bad judgement call and dials his number.
“Hi Toms, you around?”
“No. I’m at work. What’s up?”
“Was thinking I could come around, maybe we can hangout, go somewhere nice. Ah! Maybe the Amala spot”
“Too bad I’m working. Maybe you can come over for the night?”
At this point she knows the correct response to give but no, she consciously blocked all sources of good reasoning. She gives him the wrong response, the one that puts all the power in his hands. He’s been dodging going out with her. Anything that happens in the light with the clothes on? Count him out. He only wants to have ‘fun’ with her. She knows it, even if he didn’t say it directly, she caught the vibes some months ago.
What can she do? Being a romantic in a world where romance is almost extinct makes her an endangered species. Toms had chased her for a year and done everything right, he knew her soft spots and the things that made her tick, and he used them well. He played her well, at least now he’s getting what he wanted – and at no cost, to the disgust of Friend 1.
“How can you be sleeping with him and he doesn’t fuel your car or give you money to take care of yourself? The least he can do is buy the fuel you use to drive all the way to his house every time”
She had been confused the day Friend 1 made the statement above. Do men actually do these things? Why didn’t she ever meet those kind of guys? Should she breakup with Friend 1? Aren’t these the kind of friends her daddy told her to run from?
Thankfully, she is over thinking that Toms feels anything for her but she wouldn’t end it. He doesn’t provide the emotional cushion that she needs, but he provides a physical cushion for the time being.
It’s 5:30 pm and she’s packing a night bag, preparing to go over to Toms’ when Joe calls. He wants to take her to this new Art Gallery that just opened up in town. Art Gallery, it’s her kind of thing, she would absolutely love to visit it but not with Joe. He is becoming too close, catching too much feelings. She doesn’t want him catching any feelings for her because she doesn’t like him like that. So she declines his offer and lies that she’ll go with him the next weekend, but she plans to give him some distance for the next few weeks so as to kill any feelings that maybe developing. Same thing she did with Emeka, Osas and Ayomide.
Her mummy maybe right after all, maybe she needs deliverance. She’s always chasing after men that aren’t meant for her, and chasing away the ones that actually care about her and give her their attention. Or maybe her mother is wrong, there’s nothing wrong with her. She just has a type, and the men that genuinely care about her aren’t it. She isn’t necessarily chasing after men that aren’t meant for her, who’s to say they aren’t? She didn’t make the first move, they did. Maybe they just got bored of her or something….
It’s 6:30 pm and she dials Toms to find out if he is home from work. The phone rings and rings, no one picks it up. She wouldn’t leave her house if she didn’t get a confirmation. After trying to reach him unsuccessfully for five minutes she decides to wait for him to ring her back.
It’s 9:30 pm when he sends her a message on WhatsApp.
“Babe, I’m sorry I slept off. Can you still come?”
“No. It’s late. I don’t like driving in the night”
“You can take an Uber or a Taxify na”
“I don’t trust them. Can you come and pick me instead?”
“I’m tired. But Ubers are safe”
“Don’t worry. Another time. Good night”
She quickly switches to her browser to google “why do men treat me badly”. Her inner critic is in charge now and she has all these accusations and self-depreciating things to say to her but she wouldn’t let ‘little miss critic’ in today. Not today. She suddenly remembers she made a list of things she’d like to do when she finally had some spare time off work. Writing a story is one of them.