Our Best Friends Wedding: Episode 5: Chioma

Hey, everyone. Two things before we get into this episode. If you haven’t been following the series, use this link here to catch up on all you’ve missed and for those who don’t know, the series is jointly written by @cikk0 and I. You can check out his blog here. Also, you can still nominate us for the Nigerian Blogger Awards here: NOMINATE. Now onto today’s episode. Use the comment box to share your thoughts. Cheers.

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Tuesday

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Jade: Hello

Charles: Where on earth did you leave your phone

Jade: I was in the shower jo

Charles: And where’s Kemi, she’s also not picking her calls

Jade: Ahn ahn.. whats with all the questions. Kemi’s probably on set shooting. It’s Tuesday, remember? By the way, why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be out on your date with Chioma?

Charles: Erm… that’s why I’m calling. I’m done with that and I need the name of the next girl.

Jade: Done? What do you mean done? It’s not even 8pm. Or wait, did she… hahaha.. don’t tell me she stood you up.

Charles: Well, seeing as I’v been sitting here alone for the past hour waiting for her, I guess she did.

Jade: Awwhh… I’m sorry I’m laughing but you do know this is funny right.

Charles: Go on, enjoy yourself. So are you going to give me another name or am I going to have to eat a three course meal all by myself?

Jade: Well, I need to talk to Kemi before I can give you the next name but wait, are you at Derricks? I’ve not had dinner and I can sure use some 30k spoiling.

Charles: See her mouth like Derricks. I’m at the Blu Hotel jo.

Jade: Oh, thats not so far away. Give me a few minutes and I’ll come rescue you.

Charles: Sha hurry up please.

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Jades’ House … Saturday

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Kemi walked into the room looking somewhat irritated, she had hardly sat on one of the sofas before she spoke “I really don’t get you two. Why couldn’t you just plan your schedule so we could meet like we always do on Fridays. I don’t know what y’all are up to that meetings just suddenly pop up at such odd hours”.

Jade was the first to respond. “Mrs. Diva, take it easy now. You know I’d been looking for a sit down with the Minister of Health since forever. A window of 15 minutes opened up yesterday and I just had to take it”.

And you all know how ‘wonderful’ my boss can be.” Charles added. “He called me last minute to represent him at the Pearl Awards last night. I couldn’t say no.” Kemi was not impressed by their excuses. She looked away from them and pretended to look for something in her bag. Charles walked over to stand by her seat. He made faces at her and then sat on Kemi’s legs even as he tried to tickle her. “Come on now, oya smile.” Kemi tried to fight him off and then Jade also joined in.

“Ok! Ok already.” Kemi said, smiling and breathing hard after a few minutes. “I’ll forgive you when you find a way to make it up to me.” Kemi said as both Charles and Jade took their seats on different sofas.

“Jade you need to add some masculinity to this your crib. I can’t believe I’m seating on a pink leather sofa. What on earth is this”? Jade looked at Charles and rolled her eyes. “Abeg abeg, before you start your sibling rumble again, please, I’ve come here for gist. Don’t keep a Diva waiting.” Kemi interrupted.

“So, I hear you got your ass stood up.” Kemi continued holding back laughter even as Jade began to chuckle. Charles looked away, sighed and said “So what? It happens. Do you want to hear about Halima or not?” “Chioma Chioma. Hmm.. I’ve always thought that girl was your kryptonite. Now I’m almost very sure she is” said kemi. “Kryptonite ko, Achilles ni” Charles managed in a weak yoruba accent. “Oya oya, don’t get angry, tell us what happened with you and my dear friend Halima?” Jade tried to calm Charles with her question. He went silent for a while as if trying hard to remember.

“Cha-cha. Oya sorry now. Tell us how you swept sweet Halima off her feet yet again” Kemi said. Charles let out a smile. Shook his head, brought out his phone from his pocket. He fiddled with it for a few seconds then passed it to Jade. “Here, read that.” Jade moved to sit beside Kemi and together they both read out from the phone…

“This is a thank you kiss. You’ve been such a perfect gentleman; one I’ll never forget. Here’s wishing you luck and I hope you find her soon enough.”

Both ladies looked up at the same time. Questions in their eyes. Charles remained quiet. “She slept over at yours?” “You told her?” Kemi and Jade asked at the same time? “Well. Yes and yes. But nothing happened. We practically talked all through the night. I had to leave early for work the next morning so I left her at my place. I came back to meet a sea of post-it slips littered all over my apartment. Thank God I came home alone, it would have been so embarrassing” Charles looked into space temporarily lost in his thoughts..

“What did they say?” Jade asked. “You know Halima now, heart shapes, kisses, sweet little things. Like she marked where we had our first kiss then where we erm.. ahem.” “Hmm…you never did say what you guys got up to back then.” Kemi wanted more details but Charles merely smiled. “Please oh. I’ve told you, I never ever want to know what you did to my friend. I just want to know if we have a winner cause I have to head out real soon” Jade said. Charles looked at his watch. “Oh shoot. Me too.” “So? Answer now” Kemi interrupted. “Halima is sweet. Too sweet even. She’s tall – those sexy legs – damn.” Charles licked his lips lustfully. “But you guys know she’s muslim and to make matters worse, she has a boyfriend now”.

Jade sighed heavily. “So last night was just supposed to be about Okafors law?” She hissed. “God have mercy on you. Please Kemi, who is the next girl. I really have to run.” Charles stood up almost immediately as if preparing to leave.

“Na wah for the two of you oh. Ok sha, the next girl is….” Kemi produces a sheet of paper from her bag, she traces through some text with a finger, looks up with a smile on her face and says:

“Inyang”.

Jade burst into laughter. She looked at Charles and sang “Wey my Calabar girl o, my Calabar love o.”

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thetoolsman

Unrepentant media addict.
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  • Avatar
    doynoyesanmi

    First!*panting*

    June 16, 2011
    • Avatar
      kechilauren

      Gives u glucose..

      June 16, 2011
      • Avatar
        doynoyesanmi

        Thanks.

        June 17, 2011
  • Avatar

    **Now singing

    "Charles and Jade! Charles and Jade!!"

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    beeyuteeful

    Inyang hmmm ok o let's wait n read

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    beeyuteeful

    Lol @afrosays…lemme join u *charles n jade sittn at a table in BLU..dey are *

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    dee2qte

    Charles wld prob end up marryin either jade or kemi!

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    nyekus peperempe

    Tula sha dnt run out of ideas cos some of us luk 4ward to dis post oo. Yu berra turn ur jerry b n tarantino on.

    June 16, 2011
    • Avatar

      Chei.. as if we weren't already under enough pressure… ok o..

      June 16, 2011
  • Avatar

    *rolling* Cha cha got stood up!!!!! LOL. *sigh* Thank you for this. 🙂 my day has been made.
    But this Jade sef… Ayyt

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    dammydiva

    Charles and Jade jo…

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    georgeenah

    Hehehe!Nice to see he's having a hard time with the girls :p maybe when you guys are done you should sell the script to nollywood and i'll watch one of their movies from start to finish for the 1st time ever(if they dont tweak it to fit their village audience that is)

    June 16, 2011
    • Avatar

      nollywood? Georgeenah no run us down na…. I kno u hav Mr. Spielberg's number. give it up!

      June 16, 2011
      • Avatar
        georgeenah

        Hehehe…If u beg me real good i'll give you that of his chinese version.

        June 16, 2011
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    So Charles finally got stood up…yes! Okay…*waiting for d next episode* but i don't know why i keep thinking that Charles will end up with Jade or Kemi. Make we dey see sha. Lol!

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    Nugwa

    Who wants to bet with me ten grand each that charles marries jade? But only after breaking kemi's heart… And by the way toolz, your're not allowed to change the outcome… you know i'm right…

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    ibetapassmynebo

    Inyang….issorai!

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar

    lol yh i think d same too…… team charles and jade legoooo……pls dnt change the end cos we predicted right….cnt wait for d nxt one now….how many girls left btw?

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar

    I think when Tools started this, Charles was supposed to end up with Jade but now that y'all are predicting it, he'll change it.

    If it were me, he'll die at the end 😀

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar

    I have to get Chirs (@cikko) to come comment so y'all dont think Im lying.. all I'll say is keep reading and keep rooting for whichever team y'all want to.. whatever you do, just make sure you dont miss the last episode…

    June 16, 2011
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    BTW, I hope there's an episode with twins. I really do. *sigh* 🙂

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    ibetapassmynebo

    @cece!!!!!!!!!!! U like bad thing!!!!!!!!

    Tufia kwa gi!

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar

    keep those predictions coming… what will be will be!

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    Simmylala

    awww… charlie! lol… i'm pretty sure i read that kemi is married… but then with her husband away alot… hmmm… still rooting for chacha and jade tho. next thursday seems so far away 🙁

    June 16, 2011
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      Yes Kemi is married.. hang in there.. it'll soon be here..

      June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    Shawana Kolawole

    Now counting…21, 22, 31, 32, 33….hmmmnn! No wayo, we dey wait!

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    ibetapassmynebo

    Tula….can u put me sumwhere in dat list! Somhow?

    June 16, 2011
    • Avatar

      buhahahahaha… I see you still haven't been serviced… what 'brand' are you again cuz from what I know, Cha-cha discriminates …

      June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    ibetapassmynebo

    Buahahahaha….I ve not oh 🙁

    Brand??? Ermm…..:X

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    babykomarol

    KMT….So much for waiting for chioma *rolling my eyes*

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    babykomarol

    Nice write up as usual newais

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar

    Okafor's law again…like a real boss..

    Inyang….The girl is going to take his soul…knacking tins..nice one Tools.

    June 16, 2011
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    Well…I'v been singing d Charles n Jade song for a bit…Nice dat Cha Cha got stood up tho…I guess Alimo (Pakurumo ko jo daada) made up for it sha…
    Nice one Tula n Chris…as usual…

    June 16, 2011
  • Avatar
    some girl

    Y do I fnk he wld end up wif kemi

    June 17, 2011
  • Avatar
    some girl

    Oh jst read d comments. She is married. Den he'll proLly marry sm random girl nt on the list dt he met @ last minute

    June 17, 2011
  • Avatar
    funbi crown

    @thetoolsman… Lol @ post-it slips…. I'm sure u know why…

    June 20, 2011
  • Avatar
    @mizztosin

    #team jade n Charles legoooooooooooooo
    I mean wt cud b beta dan marrying ur best friend 😀

    As usual, nice one toolsman

    June 21, 2011
  • Avatar
    @demmylee

    Does it really have to be every thursday??? This is pure torture!

    June 22, 2011
  • Avatar
    missKk

    Next ePisode today oh. Don't forget. 🙂

    June 23, 2011
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