Hey, everyone. Two things before we get into this episode. If you haven’t been following the series, use this link here to catch up on all you’ve missed and for those who don’t know, the series is jointly written by @cikk0 and I. You can check out his blog here. Also, you can still nominate us for the Nigerian Blogger Awards here: NOMINATE. Now onto today’s episode. Use the comment box to share your thoughts. Cheers.
Charles: Where on earth did you leave your phone
Jade: I was in the shower jo
Charles: And where’s Kemi, she’s also not picking her calls
Jade: Ahn ahn.. whats with all the questions. Kemi’s probably on set shooting. It’s Tuesday, remember? By the way, why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be out on your date with Chioma?
Charles: Erm… that’s why I’m calling. I’m done with that and I need the name of the next girl.
Jade: Done? What do you mean done? It’s not even 8pm. Or wait, did she… hahaha.. don’t tell me she stood you up.
Charles: Well, seeing as I’v been sitting here alone for the past hour waiting for her, I guess she did.
Jade: Awwhh… I’m sorry I’m laughing but you do know this is funny right.
Charles: Go on, enjoy yourself. So are you going to give me another name or am I going to have to eat a three course meal all by myself?
Jade: Well, I need to talk to Kemi before I can give you the next name but wait, are you at Derricks? I’ve not had dinner and I can sure use some 30k spoiling.
Charles: See her mouth like Derricks. I’m at the Blu Hotel jo.
Jade: Oh, thats not so far away. Give me a few minutes and I’ll come rescue you.
Charles: Sha hurry up please.
Jades’ House … Saturday
Kemi walked into the room looking somewhat irritated, she had hardly sat on one of the sofas before she spoke “I really don’t get you two. Why couldn’t you just plan your schedule so we could meet like we always do on Fridays. I don’t know what y’all are up to that meetings just suddenly pop up at such odd hours”.
Jade was the first to respond. “Mrs. Diva, take it easy now. You know I’d been looking for a sit down with the Minister of Health since forever. A window of 15 minutes opened up yesterday and I just had to take it”.
And you all know how ‘wonderful’ my boss can be.” Charles added. “He called me last minute to represent him at the Pearl Awards last night. I couldn’t say no.” Kemi was not impressed by their excuses. She looked away from them and pretended to look for something in her bag. Charles walked over to stand by her seat. He made faces at her and then sat on Kemi’s legs even as he tried to tickle her. “Come on now, oya smile.” Kemi tried to fight him off and then Jade also joined in.
“Ok! Ok already.” Kemi said, smiling and breathing hard after a few minutes. “I’ll forgive you when you find a way to make it up to me.” Kemi said as both Charles and Jade took their seats on different sofas.
“Jade you need to add some masculinity to this your crib. I can’t believe I’m seating on a pink leather sofa. What on earth is this”? Jade looked at Charles and rolled her eyes. “Abeg abeg, before you start your sibling rumble again, please, I’ve come here for gist. Don’t keep a Diva waiting.” Kemi interrupted.
“So, I hear you got your ass stood up.” Kemi continued holding back laughter even as Jade began to chuckle. Charles looked away, sighed and said “So what? It happens. Do you want to hear about Halima or not?” “Chioma Chioma. Hmm.. I’ve always thought that girl was your kryptonite. Now I’m almost very sure she is” said kemi. “Kryptonite ko, Achilles ni” Charles managed in a weak yoruba accent. “Oya oya, don’t get angry, tell us what happened with you and my dear friend Halima?” Jade tried to calm Charles with her question. He went silent for a while as if trying hard to remember.
“Cha-cha. Oya sorry now. Tell us how you swept sweet Halima off her feet yet again” Kemi said. Charles let out a smile. Shook his head, brought out his phone from his pocket. He fiddled with it for a few seconds then passed it to Jade. “Here, read that.” Jade moved to sit beside Kemi and together they both read out from the phone…
“This is a thank you kiss. You’ve been such a perfect gentleman; one I’ll never forget. Here’s wishing you luck and I hope you find her soon enough.”
Both ladies looked up at the same time. Questions in their eyes. Charles remained quiet. “She slept over at yours?” “You told her?” Kemi and Jade asked at the same time? “Well. Yes and yes. But nothing happened. We practically talked all through the night. I had to leave early for work the next morning so I left her at my place. I came back to meet a sea of post-it slips littered all over my apartment. Thank God I came home alone, it would have been so embarrassing” Charles looked into space temporarily lost in his thoughts..
“What did they say?” Jade asked. “You know Halima now, heart shapes, kisses, sweet little things. Like she marked where we had our first kiss then where we erm.. ahem.” “Hmm…you never did say what you guys got up to back then.” Kemi wanted more details but Charles merely smiled. “Please oh. I’ve told you, I never ever want to know what you did to my friend. I just want to know if we have a winner cause I have to head out real soon” Jade said. Charles looked at his watch. “Oh shoot. Me too.” “So? Answer now” Kemi interrupted. “Halima is sweet. Too sweet even. She’s tall – those sexy legs – damn.” Charles licked his lips lustfully. “But you guys know she’s muslim and to make matters worse, she has a boyfriend now”.
Jade sighed heavily. “So last night was just supposed to be about Okafors law?” She hissed. “God have mercy on you. Please Kemi, who is the next girl. I really have to run.” Charles stood up almost immediately as if preparing to leave.
“Na wah for the two of you oh. Ok sha, the next girl is….” Kemi produces a sheet of paper from her bag, she traces through some text with a finger, looks up with a smile on her face and says:
Jade burst into laughter. She looked at Charles and sang “Wey my Calabar girl o, my Calabar love o.”
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