I’m very sure that whilst most of you may not be teenagers, each and everyone of you was once between the ages of 13- 19 (Even if you’re a fairy or a mythical creature of some sort). You know how excited and indomitable every teenager feels when they’re done with high school? Well, that was a perfect picture of me a few years back; with the perfect make up, voluminous weaves, high heeled pair of shoes and sophisticated demeanour; I was literally basking in cloud number-nine.
Then, came the wait for the finalisation of my admission process. I ought to have travelled to the UK, but plans changed. A few months later, I was within the confinements of another learning institution; it’s funny how we’re supposed to spend six years in high school, just to come out with flying colours and gain entry into another learning institution requiring an additional four years of our lives ** smh..I’m not the best fan of school, right? Guilty as charged! **
I’m a sophomore in a private institution now and I must confess, it’s been a great experience thus far. But, there are a few perks here and there that have always made me quite baffled. This has given my friends the weird notion that I must be a pixie fairy of some sort, or a mystical creature who was born and bred in a snow globe. You may be wondering what this bone of contention could be about right now. Please shut your eyes for one minute, and think of one of the most controversial and ethical issues that’s trending right now. Feel free to open your eyes when you’ve arrived at a specific conclusion.
It’s all about Chastity, guys! And, I would most definitely love to know what your opinions are on the issue. Should youngsters be sexually active? Almost all of my friends are, and they’re barely nineteen. In my institution, as is common with most higher learning institutions, it’s regarded as a norm, and specific code of conduct for almost all students. Talking about it with most of my friends causes them to stare at me with a weird face or even totally distance themselves from me for several hours.
In my institution, it’s what almost all relationships are about. The guys all want it, and they would never even try to hide that fact from the girls that they are supposedly ‘in love’ with, only the naïve ones may be spared from such details. In most movies I’ve watched, the guy dresses better, visits the salon to get his hair trimmed, purchases a new bottle of perfume and walks around all day with a dictionary or an encyclopaedia, until he has memorised the necessary terminologies and registers required for him to express his feelings to the girl he truly loves. But, it’s alarming to know that some guys no longer deem this fit or necessary. They ask you out using bizarre words and phrases they’ve picked up from Nigerian songs, dress irresponsibly, stare at what’s on your chest and behind you all the time, and expect you not to look at them with a disgusted visage. ‘How on earth could that be possible? Even a suckling child would be able to foretell the end of such ‘relationship’. Not so?’
I was alarmed to discover that most of my peers are sexually active, and have been that way for years. Every Friday night, they find a way to sneak from the hostel with their purses stocked and seething with condoms, caplets of ref, and any additional stimulating substance they can find. They return the next day, and recount their tales of how they met a fairy tale prince on a sojourn to planet earth, and how they tore their legs apart for him because they knew he was ‘ the one’ they had been waiting for all their lives. They’re plunged into a maudlin state a few weeks afterwards, because, ‘prince charming’ has turned out to be not so charming after all. And, this strange occurrence keeps going on and on in that direction.
Why should relationships supposedly based on love be all about sex? Why can’t we wait for the one who was specially crafted for us from heaven? Why shouldn’t these young guys take time to become better husbands and to their wives instead of touring campus for every new chick who would be willing to let them ‘get some’. I guess it’s one of the adverse effects of westernization sha; because almost all the American teen series that are hits in the Nigerian market all revolve around sex, baby mamas, drugs, etc. I actually feel that if any guy doesn’t even try to improve himself, or act as a sophist, or even employ some sort of Machiavellian intelligence to get a girl, it’s definitely because he feels she’s cheap and unworthy of such time and attention. Whilst employing the last two options mentioned above is wrong, it at least depicts the teenage guy trying to ‘show some hustle, and work for it’.
I’m most certainly not a feminist. I believe God fashioned Eve from Adam because he felt that we were supposed to run this world together, so, who am I to think otherwise? I just believe that we were created to subdue earth, and then, procreate. I wasn’t created by God to become any man’s sex slave or machine, and I don’t need a dildo to maintain my resolve. What’s the use of dipping your hand into the cookie jar when you can’t have any of those little glazed temptations? Such scenario would best be likened to that of a man touching the ‘forbidden fruit’ all day without any intention to dig his teeth in; believe me, he would sooner or later. Some of you may think I’m an idealist, and I wouldn’t quite agree with that. I just believe the world would be a better place if we just worked on some of these ethical issues that are eating deep into our society. I urge you all to please mentor, teach and educate every teenager and young person around you on sex, chastity and other ethical issues that are plaguing the society presently. You would never know what your little niece/ nephew/sibling has been up to in school if you don’t make enquiries or talk to them in this light. Thanks for reading! Now to the exciting part. I must confess, I’m most eager to read your comments. **big grin **
** Written by a teenager who’s just thinking out loud **
Image via The Black Home School
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- Sexual Activity and Chastity – A Teenager’s Perspective - January 28, 2016