16 Things That Happen When You Board A Commercial Bus With A Preacher

In this tough economy of ours, the hustle is real and as such, many wise folks have decided that they will not come and stay in the house and allow hunger to finish them. Instead, some have resorted to very ingenious ways of making use of their talents to earn pay such as riding on the religious inclination of the citizens of the nation.

Ladies and gentlemen, below are 16 things that anyone who has been in a commercial bus with a preacher can relate with:

1. When you wake up in the morning, hoping it will be a lovely day ahead

The Lord is my shepherd.

2. Getting ready for work like a boss

Everyday Am Hustlin’!

3. When you enter the bus and see the sign ‘No Smoking or Preaching in the bus’

No disturbance today!

4. But two minutes after the bus leaves the park, you suddenly hear: “Brethren, I won’t take much of your time…let us commit our journey into the hands of the Lord”

Ohhhhhhhh!

5. That oversabi commuter that is looking for any female that didn’t cover her head before prayer

Aunty Sacred…Holy Weje…Molue Prayer Coordinator…Supreme Commander of the Lord’s Army…Spiritual LASTMA! Issokay!

6. Then preacher starts talking about the evils of eye pencil, lipstick and leggings

Mammy Water ko, Queen of the Coast ni.

7. When he says that weavon and attachment are made from Mammy-Water hair and the passenger sitting beside you is wearing Brazilian hair

Judging you!

8. When it seems the preacher had you in mind specifically when he was talking about fornication

But Man of God, it was only one kiss that I kissed…I didn’t even do kolombi!

9. That oversabi passenger that is always rushing to read the scriptures the preacher calls out 

Bros, take eet easy…no be quarrel!

10. When the preacher says: “God will arrest somebody today”, and he is looking at you

Oga preacher, e be like say you see me for your dream, abi?

11. When the bus comes out of a bottleneck and it seems like the sermon is about to end only for you to get caught in more traffic and the preacher calls out another bible passage

Where is LASTMA when you need them

12. That ‘Doggaman’ that is also in the bus waiting for preacher to finish preaching before selling medicine, but the pastor is taking too much time

Na so you go take spoil my market today!

13. When you think it has all ended after the preaching, another sister starts a session of praise and worship

The struggle when you hear “who can battle with the Lord, who can battle with the Lord, I say nobody”!

14. When everybody starts clapping and hailing the preacher for a wonderful sermon and you are just there like…

Because you know the next thing is to collect offering.

15. When the preacher finally says: “you can support the ministry with anything the Lord lays in your heart to give”

A labourer is worthy of his wages jor!

16. How you feel for the preacher when nobody supports the ministry after all the casting and binding he did

No worry Baba, better luck next bus.