3 Going On 10

Big Mommas House

Hey people, Toolsman here welcoming everyone to the start of another great week. Hope your weekend was as awesome as mine :D. Too many talking points from all that happened over the weekend. I mean, we finally got over past North West, I finally got to see Man of Steel (contrary to what some think, I think it’s an ok movie), Super Eagles lost to Spain (I thought they did well overall though), Dbanj happened (didn’t attend the DKM concert, watched bits of it online, wasn’t blown away) and the “awesome” people of the UK placed a 3k pounds bond on Nigerians travelling to the Uk (I’m still quite pissed on this one so I’ll just skip it) and off course, there was BBA drama (getting tired of it now though).

Today, I’m remixing a post a wrote a while back because it really does capture all I want to say. I’m going to be talking briefly (cause I’d like to hear more from you guys) about something that has always gotten on my nerves. Its what I call the 10/3 theory. Having as many female acquaintances as I do, I get to sit in on their discussions from time to time and it never fails to get to me when I hear women dish out their requirements for guys who should even consider making a pass at them. (I’m not leaving out guys from this theory).

  • Tall (You know, Not like LeBron tall but Lance Gross tall)
  • Dark (They will even go ahead to specify a particular tone of “dark”. Not Wande Coal dark, Dbanj dark)
  • Build (He cant be too buff o. I dont want stone, but he also can’t be a fatty. Just soft enough is fine.)
  • Sense of humour (I’m sure if there was a scale for measuring this, they’d include values)

e.t.c. ……..

I just highlighted a few, we all know how long this list can get. Now, I have no issues with this. Everyone should have specific things they look out for in the opposite sex. My issue is what you base your choices for the components of this list on. Life is sometimes not fair, I mean, I still will never understand how or why Jada ended up with Will (-___-) … but yes, it’s life, there are exceptions but that shouldn’t form the reason why you look like this:

fat black woman

And you want a man like this:

lance6

Like, caaammmmaaannn. In the words of one of my blogger mentors: “Most of the people in the world are not extremely attractive. If that were the case, there wouldn’t be any ugly babies and a limited need for plastic surgery.” Yes, I strongly agree with this statement. I’m a decent looking young man and that’s it. I have flaws but I spend a great deal of my time trying hard to correct the ones I know I can. Why? Well, firstly for myself and then, because I have a goal. I know what I want from the opposite sex and I know what I have to do to get it.

Too many times, I’ve seen an extremely good looking dude end up with a erm… not-so-good-looking chic and everyone around talks about how she must have “the good-good” or how she’s a vixen in bed and that’s how she must be keeping him. Well, she might be all of that and even more but if he’s rubbish, then they are rubbish and this here is another myth I hope to deal with in another post.

Now, I’m not saying all of this because I’m bitter or whatever. All I’m just asking for is just a little bit of fairness from our females when they’re putting together their almighty list. And if you choose not to be fair, then please put in some visible effort. Cut the carbs and hit the gym 4 times a week. Shave those legs (PLEASE SHAVE THOSE LEGS). Wax. Wax. Wax. Watch a lil more CNN and less Africa Magic. Then you can reach that stage where you’re like me who wants Keri Hilson. Fair right? :D

Ahem. Well, well, I’m still far off (ok, very far off) but you get my point. Have you also noticed this and you feel strongly about it? And I know I wrote about women but we men also do this so women have my permission to at us as well. You know the drill, use the comment box to express you.

93 Comments

  • Avatar for thetoolsman mmmeee says:

    This reminds me of what Kudo Eresia Eke (hope I got the name right ) said in one of his songs……'men ugly like frogs marrying pretty pretty wives.'
    Totally agree with this post, don't think you can meet the man/woman of your 'dreams' without improving yourself.

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman Rezza says:

    Ok, but then Tula, the babe's picture is just over the top awful! Haba!

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman zee zee says:

    First?
    LooooL. I enjoyed this post sha. And we have cases of ugly boys and very fine gehs too o

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman phransea says:

    Erm toolsman this is just a question oh… Do you have a girlfriend? I'm asking for a friend ofcos :D

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman Admirablehrt (Adee) says:

    Ladies and their endless list though. Guys have theirs also, but they are not so picky like the ladies. But as for my own list?? *In chris’s voice, we don’t wanna go there* All I know is I’m Still working on my self. *sips juice* (´⌣`ʃƪ)

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman chuka says:

    I agree totally with the stance of this post.
    Both sexes keep their lists most of the ladies who almost always draw a list whose requirements can only be met in heaven…

    But then we’re all excused who doesn’t like the ‘good thing’.

    This is the most important thing….”To get that which you desire you must build your self to match and fit that which you want.”

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman james olawaye says:

    Nice post Toolsman. I have discussed this with a few ladies a couple of times. I don't think guys have so much problems with this, a guy will get different girls for different purposes. Its sad to say, its a man's world and ladies should work on themselves to get the kind of men they want.
    An antelope won't be attracted to a lion; no way!

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman douglas says:

    bah. it all boils down to the bank account. does he have a big bank account or will she empty my bank account. lets face it. if a guy is bum fugly and has an account that puts him on the same table with dangote, he will always find someone.
    even if he isnt dangote level, he should be comfortable enuf to spend or have the drive to get there. and vice versa

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman kome ovo says:

    A lion like me will just eat the antelope and bounce lol…I have a particular female friend that swoons dusk till dawn over fine boys and shit on twitter and else where; she follows those steriod enhanced handles but she completely misses the fact that she’s as thin as a broom and as black as my court shoes.

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman BimboPee says:

    hahaha. Pls u ppl shud let us dream abeg. R we not still marrying u wowo men in lagos? We jus lyk to imagine better tins. Allow it abeg.

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman Uche says:

    There are lot of things that contribute to our choices in partners. When women start listing, I just laugh. In the end if a man/woman appeals to you strongly, no amount of logic with quench the fire in your loins or the warmth in your heart. And your criteria will fly straight outta the window

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman MPDchic says:

    As a chic I'll say most of our "requirements" are cos of d stupid romantic comedies n fairy tales dat tell us we'll live happily eva afta with des "princes" and fall hopelessly in love at 1st sight.
    Then again we ugly ones need d really fine dudes for their good genes. Lol.

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman intelcentral says:

    My hansome colleague who has most babes in the office drooling over him just saw the orobo's pic and said he would totally do her for the fun of it! *I haff die*

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman spacyzuma says:

    Checklists/requirements are for fantasies. I'm wiser now.

    What I really need is a woman who understands my kind of person, and likes my wierd personality. Cos I've realized that, to most women, I'm a weird and strange kinda man.

    If I can comfortably gist with a woman for long hours without getting bored or annoyed, I know she's special. Sadly, the kinda stuff I really like to gist about are not that popular among the female folk. #LifeOfaWeirdPervyNerdyGeek

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman Giacomo says:

    "PLEASE SHAVE THOSE LEGS" …and those ARMS and more importantly that CHEST!!!

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman Dr Pakuromo says:

    Dis issue afflicts women more but methinks for an ugly guy all he needs is to have a lot of cheddar as a significant number of ladies' s defences av been known to be eroded by money.If a man be looking like a cross btw Taribo West and Bance and he has more money dan Nigerian pastors he absolutely has no worries concerning scoring with d ladies
    Another category of guys whose looks wont matter (to a lesser extent) is d smooth talker.Dis niccur can absolutely talk his way into d pants of girls who hitherto would have expressed disgust at d brother's anti-fine looks..

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman dr pakurumo says:

    @Tula dis poster chick for today' post tho…she shouldnt have any preferences….

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman spacyzuma says:

    My theory is that a guy's attractiveness is based on a combination of 3 things: physical beauty, charisma/eloquence, and power/financial status.

    If you have at least one of them, you can get women.
    If you have all three, you will be like a god.
    If you have none…err…focus on improving your power/financial status.

    IMPHO, financial status >>> Charisma/eloquence > physical beauty.

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    • Avatar for thetoolsman larz says:

      Physical beauty- not too bothered about it as it is genetic. However, I dont do fat, that is within your capacity
      Charisma/ Eloquence- very good. I like. I say come to mummy.
      Power / Financial status- the now is not as important as the credible vision

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman walls says:

    Wat zuma said… #nuffz

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman Niyoola says:

    So after writing 10,000 words, you remembered at the last line that ugly guys also do same….. smh

    On the issue of shaving, Guys please, shavethat beard …… its only in novels and movies the girl is tickled by your moustache/beard. Shave the everything off! Are you a monkey? Why is the hair on your back longer than the hair on your head!!!!

    Why is there air on, in, around your ass/ass crack!!! Wax that ass crack!!!!! what?!?!?!?!?

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  • Lol! I'm not even sure what to say here. Erm….'not so attractive' people need love to?

    While this is all true, as the saying goes "aim for the moon & if you miss you'll land among the stars". In that case why not aim for your ultimate, you might get it & you might not. Fact is these attractive people going for the 'not so attractive' option obviously sees something in them that others may not see (unless a gun is being held to their head) so it's kinda a win win (for those involved, the rest of us are quite irrelevant).

    As was mentioned both sexes have all these things that they want but will all our lists, there are very few women that meet a good man that they're attracted to & connect with that will dis-count them because they're not like 'Lance Gross'

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman ladetawak says:

    I don't have a list. I just noticed that the guys I like tend towards the tall, lanky guys á la Shia LaBeouf

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman dr pakurumo says:

    But u dont like Labeouf do you?

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman DontAsk says:

    Okay I agree that most of us (male and female) have impossible lists but I dont agree that women have the most ludicrous lists. Ladies usually ask for the basic: tall, dark, handsome, build. But the average man's list is gangster: tall, fair, beautiful, slim, jugs, bum, smile, lips, fingers, fingernails, feet, toes, hair, forehead, lingerie type, eyeballs, brows, ears, piercings, flat tummy and a host of other serenren.

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    • Avatar for thetoolsman spacyzuma says:

      The average man's list? Which average men have you encountered?
      In that 'average man's list', the average man doesn't care about figners, fingernails, feet, toes, hair, lingerie type, eyeballs, brows, ears, 'serenren'.

      The list actually looks like what a Lesbian wants in her ideal woman.

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      • Avatar for thetoolsman larz says:

        I agree. Most guys dont like women that r unkempt (i.e. palm n feet are harder than iroko tree or dirty underwear (was white but now brown lingerie) but they wont neccessarily pay attention to newly shaped brow, pedi, mani, brazillian etc. They dont even notice.

        Usually when guys r unneccessarily picky (forehead, ear etc) it is mainly cuz they r just not that into you. I tend not to take that personal

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    • Avatar for thetoolsman KACHY says:

      lol,,,,u forgot to add good personality, her own money and career, must be able to cook and clean. a tiger in bed, a lady in public and plenty oda serenren

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      • Avatar for thetoolsman spacyzuma says:

        Ehen! Now these are stuff that can be found on the average man's list, not the list that @DontAsk posted.

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        • Avatar for thetoolsman KACHY says:

          @ spacy,,,,,,,,,,my list is primary,,,hers is secondary….cos d good looks nd all d senrenren are d stuffs dat actually attracts u guys,,,when she has passed dat stage of the test, then personality nd career nd all dat comes into play. Weda u like it or not, d average man's list is actually more complicated dan ours……..on a light note tho ders actuali notin wrong in admitting u want a lady wif a flat tummy,i'm sure u wldnt her tummy to look like michelin tyre….its all part of the list

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    • Avatar for thetoolsman Aniie says:

      err… guys like tall girls? Isn't being short the new "sexy" ?

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman nijezie says:

    Did you really have to use that picture to get your point across? I got last night's dinner coming back up by just looking at it

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman KACHY says:

    sori about dat @ nijezie….it seemed a suitable analogy

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman tommiegal says:

    I sure don't have a list…just appeal to me positively is all…

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  • Oh I have a list. You have to look good (don't have to be a bombshell), you have to be fun (depressed/moody is hard to deal with) and Godfearing.

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman lordfiddler says:

    I have a list…and I thank God for my list. It helps to keep me in line and focused so I don't fall short and become unable to attain my "list" babe if I ever run into her….

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  • Avatar for thetoolsman saratuwrites says:

    if someone wants to have a list of expectations far above what they personally have to offer, let them. maybe thats how the not so goodlooking chicks get the goodlooking guys and vice versa. Nothing wrong with aspiration…
    http://saratuwrites.wordpress.com/

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