Buharinomics has made many bachelors to ‘lock up’ and postpone wedding date. Every time Bae brings up the issue of marriage, they give excuses upon excuses because bride price and door knocking items now look like this:

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C’mon, it shouldn’t be so na. Heck, last time I checked, my gateman was married with kids. Did he sell off his testicles to pay bride price and arrange wedding? I bet he didn’t. So we’ve got it all planned – how to organize a successful wedding on a shoestring budget.

1. Get cheaper engagement rings

The engagement is when the whole money starts reducing; from expensive rings to organizing an event for proposal. So my brother, alternatively, you can give your finger rosary to be wearing on engagement finger.

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TNC Memes

Afterall, all of them na ring dem be.

2. Hire an affordable MC and DJ

Instead of paying Four Milli for Basketmouth to come and crack jokes, you can get my oga – Sirkastiq to do so. Or Terdoh! (You can use kporakpo and bottles of Jameson to get their services)

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TNC Memes

Also, that your cousin (who dreams of becoming a rapper someday) can do the job of spinning the wheels on steel. Se oti to?

3. Get your close friends and relatives actively involved

Instead of hiring that posh stylist that always slays on Instagram to do your makeup, your mumsie and aunties can do the job very well and decorate your face with nzu and uli.

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TNC Memes

Tying gele shouldn’t be a problem also. One of your older sisters or cousins can do that for you. The two thousand naira you will use to pay for your gele to be tied at Ogbete Market can be used to buy one extra carton of Grand Malt.

4. Monitor your guest list closely

Very important. Because hunger no dey hear come tomorrow, wedding crashers have increased at an alarming rate. When you are planning for a wedding on a frugal budget, don’t forget to go to one of those motor parks at Jibowu and hire two or three of those boys that load buses. They will come in handy on the D-Day when the LOMMS (League of Mogbo Moya Specialists) decide to show up.

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TNC Memes

By the time they will dash one of the wedding crashers better slap, nobody will tell the others to respect themselves and jejely leave the venue and seek for greener pastures elsewhere. Na so!

5. Ditch the idea of getting a celebrity musician to perform

Do you know how much they charge to perform for just 15 minutes? A Hellotta Money, Bro! So instead of paying Tekno 2.5 million naira to sing his hit songs ‘Wash’ and ‘Pana’, Sister Nkechi in your church choir can do that perfectly (just for a plate of jollof rice and a glass of zobo). If that one doesn’t work, you can hire Igwe Tupac to sing Amoshine for 5 minutes. Or any other musician wey never blow!

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TNC Memes

After all, na artiste you dey find for your wedding. Oya Dab!

6. Hire wedding gown instead of buying new one

Word! Instead of buying new wedding gown, you should hire one for the occasion.

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TNC Memes

At the end of the day, you return it back to the owner and save yourself lots of guap.

7. Get other cheaper alternatives for every aspect of your wedding

As for the flowers used for decoration, you can beg your neighbour to pluck some flowers from her garden instead of spending extra bucks at the flower shop. Your brother can also serve as photographer with his camera phone.

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TNC Memes

Yes o…this technique will save you a lot of money.

8. Hold the wedding outdoors

Hiring halls are pretty expensive these days. Even churches have added money to the cost of hiring their halls. You can even forget about hiring canopies sef.

TNC Memes

TNC Memes

If you are worried about the rain falling on that day and spoiling your occasion, there are rainmakers that can hold the rain for you. Seriously o! All you have to do is provide a crate of their favorite alcoholic beverage for them. And last time I checked, a crate of Star Lager beer costs less than a wedding ring. Na so!

 

So that’s it right there, our brethren. There is no need to keep your Bae on a long thing anymore. There is no need to keep dodging the marriage question every time she brings it up. Just make a fist bump with your right hand, look straight into her eyes, then hit your chest with the fist and tell her: Yes, I Can! OK? Other people have had amazing wedding ceremonies on more meager budgets than yours, so your case should not be different. May the Lord be with you as you take that leap of faith. Amin!

Responses

  1. Bukola
    Oshe! I particularly have been looking for brides that won’t mind hiring. So far we have four beautiful wedding gowns in my family gathering dust in their boxes. If you are going to splurge on a wedding, it should be on food,makeup, photos and music.
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    1. BintaA
      Hi Bukola, you may just be the answer to a prayer. About those wedding gowns? Could you please share your email so we can continue the conversation there? Many thanks!
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      1. Bukola
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  2. Paul Okah
    Well, the only problem I have with these your suggestions is that many people are procrastinating because they want a society wedding and will never agree to what you’ve humorously pointed out. People forget that there’s no way you can satisfy everybody no matter the effort you make.
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