Some years ago, I watched a documentary about Japanese culinary culture. Even though I was aware of the enthusiasm and passion of the Japanese when it comes to food, I thought they were only going to drone on about Sushi.
I was quite surprised when a chef started talking about how to cook rice fast. A typical person would assume an increase in the intensity of the gas burner was the answer but nah, the Japanese just have to take things too far. The chef said adding coal to the food will make it cook faster. I was like:
I remembered this documentary recently and thought of all the weird food combinations I have ever seen in my life. I did not make these food combos up. I actually saw human beings – actual human beings – devouring these meals.
For example, during my NYSC a few years ago, my platoon was helping in the kitchen and I was told to serve the corpers Beans and Pap during orientation. Every normal person came with two bowls except this extra terrestrial dude who came with one. I dished his beans and asked him where he would like his pap and he told me to put it on the beans. I asked him to explain because I was seriously confused. He repeated himself and I promptly did as I was asked. Right before my very eyes, people of God, this dude mixed the pap and beans together and started eating.
If you think that’s all, just wait until you read these other crazy food combinations.
1. Beans with sugar and butter
What did beans ever do to deserve this?
2. White rice and Okro
I guess some people just wake up one morning and decide that all the poverty, tribulation and pain of third world countries should be packaged and served to them on a plate. If you’re one of them, clap for yourself.
3. Amala and plantain
I think we should blame all these new generation Nigerian chefs for this one. You were trying to plate something that looks like a sunflower abi? Circle amala in the middle with golden plantain petals. We get you.
4. Garri mixed with palm oil, unripe peppers, green pepper and onions
If you wanted scattered granola, you could have just ask.
5. Indomie and Egusi
You are mad and Daddy Bu is here to tell you.
6. Fufu and fried egg
I will give you a second to process this. As a matter of fact, take a minute. You’ll need it.
7. Bread and Indomie
Grassroots Sharwarma, huh?
8. Fried unripe pawpaw and beans
I understand frying bananas to eat beans but what did pawpaw ever do to you that you thought it wise to fry it?
9. Bread and close up toothpaste
I totally understand if you don’t believe this one because if I didn’t see it myself, I wouldn’t have believed it either. I am not going to waste precious man hours trying to understand the motive behind this action. I have made myself believe that eating this helps with decoding secret privy to the CIA alone.
That’s all folks. Feel free to add other weird combos you have witnessed or heard about.