Don’t Call Me Basic, B*tch!

Opinion

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against? I have! Remimah: Ermmm…this isn’t about Eminem, is it? Ramat: No. It isn’t. Remimah: Right. Eminem just comes to mind as I write this piece. So let’s get to it, right? Ladies, have you ever been called a ‘Basic Chick’? You all know ‘chick’ isn’t the term,…

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Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?

I have!

Remimah: Ermmm…this isn’t about Eminem, is it?

Ramat: No. It isn’t.

Remimah: Right.

Eminem just comes to mind as I write this piece. So let’s get to it, right?

Ladies, have you ever been called a ‘Basic Chick’? You all know ‘chick’ isn’t the term, right? It is more like a B with an itch.

If you haven’t ever been called that, you are probably wondering what it is about. Or you are one of those who call women that and in that case, thunder fire you this post is about you.

I was called a ‘basic chick’ and I had to ask around to find out what it meant. Since Urban Dictionary is big on giving new words and phrases undo relevance, I went there to check. And was shocked! There are just too many definitions for the term! Like you can be called a ‘basic chick’ for literally anything.

I couldn’t find a definition that suited the situation so I chose one that was close;

Basic Bitch: Somebody who is boring and unoriginal.

I believe this description fits because it followed the statements, “Ramat, you need to do your hair more often, wear trendy clothes! Shave your eyebrows for crying out loud! And would you die if you wear proper make up? How can you not care about your look? Your look is boring abeg. Don’t be a basic bitch!'” Hey! It is not like I deliberately remembered all the words. The thing just pepper me small.

I will be the first to admit that I have no sense of ‘style’; which is basically saying my style isn’t mainstream or trendy. I wear what is on top my clothes pile and just go. Many people have said I dress like I am from the 70s – the 70s! – and though it hurts, I don’t know how to be different. I wear what I’m most comfortable in and if I am being honest, I am uber self-conscious about drawing attention to myself. You will most likely find me in clothes that are sizes too big and in muted tones.

Being called a ‘basic chick’ stung a bit. Okay… a lot. The thought of being boring because I don’t ‘dress to impress’ made me feel some type of way. I want the first impression people have of me to be about my mind but I know that is idealistic. People will judge me based on what I wear, how I look, and the way I smell before they even hear me talk. And for many, an opinion will be formed on whether I fit into their sphere or not.  What is it they say about first impressions again? I know this is especially true for people working in some sectors of the economy; sectors like entertainment, media, banking, hospitality etc.

Many guys and girls have had to resort to switching up their looks to fit in. When they refuse to, they deal with criticism from family, friends and ‘fans’. Be strong Simi…even this will pass. The need to be considered ‘cool’, ‘fresh’, a ‘trendsetter’, or as my cousin would say, a ‘clean’ guy or girl is something that is deeply rooted in most of us. Some of us make the effort. Others, not so much. This means that there is always someone who thinks they are better than you since they are better dressed. That is why people write you off if you are not clad in designer clothes and accessories, wearing a ton of makeup, or carrying the most expensive tresses that money can buy.

So what do you when you constantly have to deal with the pressure to fit in? Especially when you see that people who fit in seem to be making more head way that you? Especially when you are in an industry where your dress, style, look and smell can get you further than your capabilities can?

I want to say, ‘Be you!’, ‘Be original’, ‘You are unique’ and all those silly nothingness we get fed by people who only share their success stories. But! Does that really do anything for you? Does that make you secure when you think of that gig or account you didn’t get because you didn’t have the ‘look’? But then again, if you begin to make those changes – lighten your skin, wear those long tresses, the designer clothes, makeup and perfume – would it ever stop? Is there ever a point where enough is enough?

Fashion trends are constantly changing. New ideas are rapidly been picked up and others tossed out. What is in today may be meh tomorrow. So keeping up can be a full time job. I think that people have to find what works for them and let others be. You want to be trendy, that is okay. You want to be simple and maybe ‘drab’, then do you! There will always be people who want what you are offering, no matter how you package it.

And if you insist on putting people down because they do not fit into your ideals, I want to tell you something. ‘Thunder fire you!’

Responses

  1. Reemah
    Well well well. Look what we have here. Someone else feels my pain. Lol. Keeping up with the trends is a lot of work so I just do what suits me. I wish I could draw my eyebrows perfectly (I can’t even draw it at all to begin with), look flawless and slay but I’m just too lackadaisical about the whole thing. Not for lack of trying though. It’s too much work so I’ve given up. For now. Some weeks ago, my friend told me, pointblank “Kareemah, you no get dress sense”. E pepper me sha😂😂😂😂. Thing is the those one-size-bigger kaftans are much more comfortable. So I’m sticking with them. Sorry, not sorry😑😑
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    1. Funmi Ogunlusi
      I agree! Many people are quick to diss slay queens for being empty barrels but when you attempt and see it’s not easy you have to rewind and respect them! Fleekin everyday is a full-time job!
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    2. Ramat
      My sister! Girl… I can’t even begin to explain the comfort in those bigger clothes! 😂 And like you, I can’t draw an eyebrow to save myself! Girl, we have to do us jare! Thanks for reading!
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  2. Toby
    Hahahahaha Fun Post, truly.
    But now let me lay down some truth. Its not shade, its a read.

    The term basic bitches was coined by us to use against skinny white girls with a penchant for frappacino’s and Pumpkin spice latte’s. Now though it has been widened to include gay (white) men, that term can never be used on a black woman.
    The term for black women isn’t Basic but Ratchet.
    I get your drift, you dont care or want to care about your fashion (then why does it pepper you so when the supposed trendy ones comment) but to lay some truth on you, you aren’t basic because f that, there actually isn’t any insult for what you are to be very honest.

    Slay (another term taken from the ball queenz) doesn’t actually mean trendy everything, its more an attitude than a label/price tag (not that you said anything about money) so you can actually be a boss ass chick with your frumpy muted 2 sizes too big hoodie.

    Its just easier to flip your weave with an actual weave.

    But dont worry, here is a particular strong word of nothingness, Love yourself in whatever you wear, cuz thats the only person that will always unconditionally love what you wear.

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    1. Ramat
      First…can I hug you? 😄 Your piece of ‘nothingness’ works.

      But… It hurts because I KNOW people get certain things BECAUSE they look a certain way. It is why the fashion industry is a multi trillion dollar one. And while we want to love ourselves and be proud of what (and who) we wear, constantly losing that thing you want may begin to grate on frayed nerves. Staying true to one’s self is usually harder than the books let on. 😁

      Did you see the definition(s) of Basic Bitch though? It has no color. Can and has been used on all shades of women. And I have heard lots of black women use it on other black women. (My fault for following them reality TV shows). And, Ratchet means something else; ghetto. Some words just have multiple meanings, hence the many definition of the term ‘Basic Bitch’. I think ‘slay’ falls into the same category.

      So… No shade perceived. And thanks. For reading and commenting. I learned something new.

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  3. Ayn
    Riiiiigghhhttt! I absolutely hate to play dress up. And I hate it more when people judge me based on my looks! I’m not basic people! Aaaarrrggghh!!!!
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