Recently on Twitter, there was a trending debate as to if ladies would dish food for their men. A lot of ladies responded saying stuff like “is she a wife or is she a slave”; basically saying that serving a guy food is not something they will ever do. Other responded more rationally saying ‘there is no big deal in serving a man food’.
If I like a guy and he becomes my lover if I so please, I’d dish his food for him if he asks nicely. Hell yeah I’d even cook for him.
Personally, I see no big deal in getting your man food, it won’t kill you, also it’s not slavery or disrespectful. If I’m going to get up, go to the kitchen and get you something to eat, you must have absolutely no problem doing the same for me, and I’m not talking about when I’m sick and in need of tender love and care (TLC).
My first weekend at the Lover’s place wasn’t perfect. At some point during the day he said “S, aren’t you going to cook for me”. I cannot begin to explain all the manners in which I was irritated but because I’m passive aggressive I ignored him. Unfortunately for him he thought perhaps I didn’t hear him and he repeated himself and I ignored him and ordered a large pizza. Till this day, we have never spoken of that day, he must have realized that it was not going to happen and I applaud him for how well he handled it.
The next two weekends he did the cooking and he’s quite the chef (there are few things sexier than a hot guy who can cook). When I felt like I was ready to unleash my fantastic culinary skills on him I did. I wasn’t going to enter the Lover’s kitchen and conjure up a fantastic meal because he expected me to. I did it when I was ready and also because I love to cook. I got up one morning dressed in lingerie and served him my famous pancakes (I make the best pancakes), he was mind blown (all pun intended).
Right now we are at the stage where cooking is basically nothing, whoever feels like it goes ahead and I really like it. The trips to the supermarket to pick out what we want to cook and what not is so much fun, the cooking of the meal is all the more fun because we are playing music, scantily clad, gisting, and stealing a kiss or two while the food gets ready. As for dish washing, he’s never asked me to because my nails are always manicured, it’s quite thoughtful of him. I believe that when you truly care for someone, small things like cooking and dishing his food or icing his scotch becomes nothing.
What I also think (I’m not sure) is that chances that a lady will get upset and refuse to do something as simple as dish her man’s food is if there are certain doubts in the relationship, if you know what I mean. Perhaps there are still some insecurities that haven’t been dealt with, or just plain unnecessary pride.
I do have a huge problem with men who believe that because we are female we are obliged to cook for them.
What I’ve noticed about the traditional mindset a lot of Nigerian men have is that they still play on gender roles, expecting household chores to be done by the women and bills to be paid by the men. It’s about time this expectation is thrown in the ‘recycle bin’ and permanently deleted. Women do not have to cook for men. Women were not born to cater to the every need of men. Women should only have to cook for men if the genuinely want to because if you really want to do something, you’ll put your heart and soul into it.
Let me just say this to guys, NOT ALL WOMEN CAN COOK AND IT’S PERFECTLY OKAY.
I believe that men should cook too. I grew up in an environment where my grandfather and my step father were always in the kitchen, I wasn’t raised to believe that cooking was a woman’s duty because it really isn’t. Granted that cooking may not be a strong point for a lot of men and that’s okay but surely you can do better than to laze around and wait for your woman to tell you that dinner is served, stay with her in the kitchen for the love of Zeus.
There’s really no qualms in cooking for your man, especially if you want to. That whole I’m his girlfriend not his wife/slave talk is so unnecessary believe me. At the same time if your lady doesn’t want to cook for you, it’s okay. No woman deserves to be hounded by her lover if she is not the cooking type. No man has the right to guilt trip a woman because she can’t or won’t cook for them.
Guys need to learn to let women do things on their own time, when they want to, not pressure them. I remember in university a guy in my class complained that he’s been dating a girl for some time now and she hadn’t made stew for the week for him. It was so preposterous that I burst out laughing. Just because you are dating does not mean she has to cook for you. If she’s going to surprise you and do it fine, if you ask nicely and she does it fine, but don’t complain to her about something she’s not expected to do. As for the guys, if your girlfriend decides to cook for you, the least you can do is keep her company while she does it.
Hi, my name is S and I believe I’ve made it clear that no woman is obliged to cook for any man and it more than okay for a man to cook for his woman.
Do share with me your various opinions about who should be doing the cooking in a relationship, would you cook for your man? Do you assist your lady when she’s cooking? Have you ever cooked for your lady? If you’ve never cooked for your man, why not?
Image via imgbuddy.com