You meet a charming young man and it feels like the place to be. You are both crazy about each other and looking forward to your journey together hoping for the best. You go out of your way to make your partner feel comfortable and welcome. You stay positive in bad and good times. You heart tells you to jump in without taking time to know him like you were advised by the elders. You called it “love at first sight.”
I was talking with one of my girls and she pointed out that we use our hearts more than we use our heads. We follow our hearts without thinking things through properly before we decide. When it comes to love I must admit that I love with all I have. I love too deep and dig even deeper to please or show my partner love. I think that is how we ladies were created – to show love.
However, this comes with high expectations. We don’t do things for nothing. This is the hurting point for most women. Whenever I love and do extraordinary things for you, obviously, I am expecting returns. I know you might think that this is not true love. You cannot buy love or happiness. Yes, I agree that love cannot be bought but anything you do in this life goes both ways – give and receive. Even the Bible acknowledges that.
You never know what to expect three months down the line. I thought I was hard to please. I seriously thought I was the problem, getting bored easily and if you survived three months with me you were something special. I loved too much and would do a lot of things for my partner and felt I was being taken for a ride.
At the beginning, I would not care about his visits to my place and bringing groceries. I would cook what I had since I worked and stocked my house. Three months down the line, I started noticing that he was just too comfortable not bringing anything – not even juice or a snack. Yet, he would open the fridge and say “You ran out of juice” or “I am hungry, what are we having.” Funny, right?
Then you start going through your dialled numbers. You start noticing that you call him a lot more than he calls you. You are now the pursuer, calling him every 2 hours to find out how he was doing. You never noticed this before but now you are using your head and thinking to yourself. You decide to reduce the number of calls hoping he would notice and call you more often but he does not.
Little things like these matter to me. Maybe I am harsh to the potential bae, but I am simply a well-mannered person who is expecting any other human being to behave well and have manners. I like simple courtesy. Return my calls. Respect my efforts to make you comfortable. Do not talk to me while chewing on food and be clean. Yes, any tiny detail puts me off and by the time we reach the three-month mark, I grow tired of pretending it does not bother me. I know it sounds silly but there are things that really make us lose interest sooner than we think.
Should I loosen up or am I right to hold on to my standards? What “little things” are deal-breakers for you guys and how early in a relationship do you look out for them? Looking forward to reading your comments.