I remember the first time he kissed me on my forehead; I couldn’t wait to tell my friends about it and call him ‘my perfect man’. I think it was the third time we were seeing and after talking to each other about everything for three months, one would think this would excite me but I was equally scared knowing a little bit of his history with girlfriends – both platonic and romantic.

From the first conversation we had in February ’12, I knew I wanted him on my team, by my side. I sent him random things I discovered on the internet during the day; he told me interesting stories at night. Apart from a few days when I think he became confused about how he felt about me, he was a gentleman.

“Do you know I like you?” he asked during one of our evening phone calls and I responded in agreement, trying hard not to let my voice betray me out of excitement. And fear. We continued the conversation as if we didn’t reveal anything meaningful to each other and the next day, he sent me a picture of his space. I used it as my DP for an entire week on BBM and I don’t think he noticed.

He never asked me out properly on a date – and still doesn’t – but he gets me.

He gets my fascination with food and books. He knows the kind of TV shows that interest me, he sends me articles and short stories half as much as I share with him – which is way more than anyone else sends me.

He lets me be me with him.

Our fights are as intense as when we make love and I always end up wishing he was more sensitive to how I feel but I guess these are the cons of dating a guy who is thirteen years older.

Sometimes, I wonder, maybe he isn’t able to make the distinction between girlfriend and subordinate.

I remember one Sunday he called me to say he was coming to my apartment to cook for me and my housemate. I expected something easy like the typical Nigerian breakfast of fried plantain and eggs but he outdid himself with a pot of Bolognese.  I kept looking at him wondering if he had done something wrong and was using the meal as an apology but nothing. Absolutely nothing


Our love has grown, on my 25th birthday earlier this year, I told him how much I think we had evolved from where we were four years ago – insecure, scared and overtly dramatic.

We have re-defined it over the years to suit the two of us but we know it might never be enough.

My 25th was significantly different from my 21st. Although both birthdays were spent with him in trysts, I controlled myself from arranging his collar while he dressed up the morning after my 21st as we prepared to leave the room. After my 25th, he kissed me on my lips and told me to have a great day knowing I would think of nothing but our hedonism in the last two days.

When my friends ask me why we are still together considering how intense our fights get, I almost always respond with I don’t know, maybe love?

The truth is, I do know.

He fascinates me and, of course, I love him.

Have an awesome 2017 dadaa, love you loads,

Your baby girl, mwah!





Let’s close the year on a note of love.

Share your short stories of how you found love this year. 

Or maybe a story of how your relationship grew this year.

Or maybe, how love happened to somebody you know.



  1. Blessing
    At first I was not too sure about Sam, and honestly thought we would just be friends as he didn’t look like ‘my type’. We had mutual friends and had hung out as a group a couple of time. From the moment we exchanged contacts and chatting, it was fire! We just ‘synced’

    Soon, we started hanging out on our own and of course feelings developed. I was worried that maybe we were moving too quickly. One night after we saw a movie, as he was dropping me off at home, he kissed me! It was amazing! A few days later he officially asked me to be his girlfriend!

    We have been together for almost 7 amazing months!
    2016, was a great year because I found love and my relationship is going the way I always wanted!



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