Dear Nigerian Women™.
First off, and this isn’t sarcasm, I want to say thank you.
Thank you for all the wonderful things you do for us. We love how good you make us feel, how happy we get around you, and oh, how you help us deplete our already limited revenue. I don’t know what we would do without the constant, love, care, and incessant nagging. And I’ll tell you this, our lives would not be the same if y’all didn’t spice up the relationship with your multiple requests for vacations in Dubai, the latest Louboutins, and Shawarma.
So again, thank you. You do a lot to keep us together.
Now that we’ve gotten the vote of thanks out the way, I’m here today to try to change a certain mentality that has apparently become deep rooted in the heart of most Nigerian Women™.
I’ll start with a story.
[Open scene]
Boy is a brilliant, successful lawyer. Probably lives in Lekki. I don’t know, I’m just saying…Boy is super witty on all social media timelines. Averages like 500 retweets per letter, all that jazz. Girl notices boy. Girl realises she really likes boy. Girl strategically places herself in the way for boy to hop in her DMs (don’t look at me. You know how y’all do), next thing you know, boy and girl are having lunch dates at Cactus Restaurant every Wednesday at 1pm.
Girl does her research. Boy turns out to be a single man, searching for a good woman to make his own (I know. Plot twist of life. Wait till you hear he’s a good Yorùbá man). He’s legit. Girl asks boy out (score for feminism!), Boy says yes (Girl power woo!), they kick off relationship.
Girl has been wanting that Yorùbá D™ for quite some time. It is crystal clear. “I wish he would just grab my ass under the moonlight and see where it goes from there” girl whispers to herself every night before she sleeps. Girl has dreams of getting some tongue. Girl wakes up in former-bed-now-jacuzzi.
Girl needs to get some.
But every time boy tries to get some of that righteous nani, girl says no. Girl asks boy if that’s all he thinks of? “Is that all I am to you?” girl blurts out in disgust. Boy is confused. “She was tugging at my jeans 2 seconds ago”, boy says to himself. Girl pushes boy away and continues to watch Netflix. Boy ponders the meaning of the universe.
[Cut scene]
I know so many foreign girls who will read this and go “Well that’s some ol’ bullshit. She really continued to watch Netflix??”, but trust me ladies, this is what we Nigerian men go through. These Nigerian Women™ will lead us on and start asking us childish questions like “What are you doing?” and “Why are you taking off your pants?” and “Is it in?”
Stop this nonsense.
You women act like sex with you is a privilege.
Like to your government we are supposed to pledge.
Like just to get some, we’re supposed to jump through fire and hail.
Like we’re supposed to give an arm, a leg and a head to get some tail.
Like we should beg to have your legs inna the air.
Well I have three words for you: F. O. H.
Hallelujah.
Now I’m not gonna lie and say I don’t beg for sex, because pretty much every man does. I know how many times I’ve pleaded on some “Baby please, just the shaft” tip (see what I did there? See it?) And I’m not going to lie and say we don’t appreciate it when you let us hit the booty so hard it yells out “Witness me!” like one of Immortal Joe’s minions in Mad Max.
But ladies…let’s be real.
You women love sex just as much as we do.
Sex is not something you give us. Sex is not a gift you bestow upon your faithful servant, your Queenship. Sex is not something we take from you, it’s something we share. It’s a beautiful, magical experience that we BOTH enjoy dammit. Don’t ruin the most beautiful thing God created by giving us attitude like “damn right nigga, you should be happy I’m giving you some”.
Do you know you can be replaced by fingers?
I see you taking off your hairnets and re-tying your wrappers, gearing up to fight. But we all know that:
- Fingers won’t get pregnant.
- Fingers won’t complain when you’ve been going for hours.
- Fingers won’t give you STDs.
- Fingers will literally never, ever leave you.
Vaseline so cheap these days fam.
– Martin Luther King Jr.
Matter of fact, and I say this with all the conviction in my heart, if you’re having sex with me, I’M doing YOU a favour. This dick is golden. (Yeah, I said it). You women need to stop acting like your pussy is platinum (as opposed to pink) on the inside. You need to fix up. There’s Eritrean, Sierra Leonean, shit, I’m going too far, there’s Ghanaian women with 15” waists and 45” sized asses that’s ready to bend over backwards (and forwards, yo, have you seen a Nana bend over forwards? Divine.) to do whatever we want. And a return trip costs less than a hundred grand so y’all better stop this childishness.
Dear Nigerian Women™, If you’re not ready to share this beautiful gift with us, we know a 10 who will.
Peace, love, and all that stuff.
Terdoh.

Terdoo

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Miss Tiller
I just read this on the train and boy do I look crazy cos this was too funny. You’ve made my morning . Thank you.
ADEE
Enjoy your chapman
Thetoolsman
Thanks 🙂
MIA
Then please share with them…. Yeah we like sex like guys in fact a lil more but becos of the shaming we get with when pple know our body count we want to make it count.
My drink please…. If I could have coffee with a lil in fact a lot of whisky inside I would love that..
Thetoolsman
I’m feeling generous today. Here you go…. c[_]
S
Terdoh! you’re the man!
100% %
Teaballow
…and here comes Terdoh!!!
butterflymind
Is that you? Pretty 🙂
Terdoh
Pun intended?
Teaballow
Chaiii!!!! Error!!!!…How do I delete comments ooo…this was not d plan
Debloww
Lmaoo
We don’t judge here.
Thetoolsman
I don’t see any error here though. Quite the contrary.
sagachristos
C’mon don’t be shy. Fine picture laidis and you want to delete the comment? No please 🙂
Vivian
LMAO!!! I did the same too, I just unlooked
Ray
Lool we know, we know 😉
adayda
@Terdoh, i hope you are prepared for the sticks, daggers and swords coming your way.
Signed
A concerned party
Terdoh
Lol! Yeah. I’m ready.
Come at me bro…
Bunmi
Hahahahahahaha LOOOOL
I just can’t, I just cant…
I dont know why some ladies do this though, using sex to deal with their husbands like they are the only ones in possession of a V. There’s V everywhere please, if you decide to punish your husband with the golden V, he can easily get it anywhere.
Sometimes the ladies might just be pretending because they don’t want to be seen as a slut, I have heard guys call women who always give them sex on a regular basis ‘cheap’. I don’t know where this assumption comes from but a guy once told me he will never marry a woman he has slept with more than 5times except he disvirgined her so you see…
I think Debloww has had a poll done on an issue similar to this discussion before and the comments were crazy. Sometimes, she wants you to beg for it so you don’t see her as ‘cheap’.
I’ll like the read the comments on this one though. Hahaha
Ray
Lol no offense but that guy must score very low on the maturity scale. It’s funny how guys like that don’t think there’s anything wrong if they pass through all the girls in the hood but the girl they will eventually marry must be Mary.
Terdoh
I just wanna say that if you get treated like a slut for giving it up quickly, then you need to re-evaluate the cadre of “men” you’re messing with. It’s 2015 fam. If the ‘man’ you slept with on the first date made you feel like anything less than the woman you are (because you gave it to him “easy”) then ‘he’ doesn’t deserve to hang with you.
Leave that (wo)man alone please.
Ray
Gold.
JADE
The dick is golden? really? LOL, yet you are willing to spend a hundred grand on flights alone for some Nana pussy? Abeg you guys can also be replaced by fingers, vibrators, rabbits, dildos should i go on??? and no if we are banging, you are not doing me a favour, we are both enjoying our bodies But then I hate pretentiousness and i think its horrible to use sex as a weapon, ladies if you wanna bang bang, dont get yourself so wet your bed turns into a jacuzzi (yes i saw what you did there Terdoh), whether you bang today, or in 90 days or in 365 days, all na bang so why torture yasef?
PS: Ive heard a lot about this ‘just the tip’ shit, I have never experienced such a mad situation, i mean why bother with just the tip, we either do or we don’t.
sagachristos
Sorry,I dunno if I was the only who noticed but rabbits???
sagachristos
Sorry,I dunno if I was the only one who noticed but rabbits???
Terdoh
LOL! I can’t even defend myself here.
You get this one Jade.
JADE
🙂
GB
“Vaseline so cheap these days fam”?! That just cracked me up!
I’ve been kinda waiting for this one, I must admit, and I must say “well done, Terdoh!” All women should remember to remember this. I suppose all this nonsense stems from that tripe we’ve all heard that when a woman has sex, she ‘cheapens’ or ‘demeans’ herself somehow. Maybe some of y’all still think you’re doing a homie a favor because of that. I dunno. “It’s something we share” <– Words to live by.
And remember, If you really want to do a man a favor, he should just lie back and you do all the work!
Paul
This is my first comment here. I was forced to say something. I found ur response very hilarious, feel free to congratulate yourself on a post well written.
Terdoh
Welcome to the family, Paul.
Terdoh
Your last statement is so apt. Should have put it in the post.
Deserves like 10,000 flame emoji (I feel like “emoji” is the plural word) for this shit.
Mr. George
Terdoh never disappoints. Funny amd darn witty. This is so apt. Now ladies can we just enjoy the sex *in chandler bings voice*
Anonymous Aboki
Lol, some ladies about to go in like..
Ray
Lmfaoooo that meme!
Nosa
“Well that’s some ol’ bullshit. She really continued to watch Netflix??” Like seriously?? Where is the CHILL??
As much as I love this post, I have to disagree, they simply can’t be replaced by fingers, maybe for a time, but after a while, we begin to crave that fountain at Shangri La.
Ïf no be panadol, e no fit be panadol.
But still, can y’all stop acting like Terdoh just pointed out?
Pearl
Thanks Nosa! ” if e no be panadol…” Word!
Terdoh
Well yeah. Eventually you still crave a woman’s touch. I agree.
But for someone like me who really hates begging for something that we’re both gonna enjoy, I’d much rather you keep your potential fountain to yourself yanna?
Sidebar: Ever considered that the poster child (literally, and figuratively) for Vaseline is a baby.
Should be a palm. Right?
Right???
Badman
Hahahaha. I saw what you did there.
Debloww
Lmaooooo
This is one post I agree with. I had this convoy with a friend some days ago. Sex is not what you give as a favour biko. If the thing is doing you like kilode, by all means open the garden of no return and do the do. It is not a gift to the person. If anything you are using him to get that summit!!!
However, I understand that society is a female dog and we have been brainwashed to believe that we ‘give’ sex and only men enjoy it and blah blah blah…
I think its even derogatory to yourself to think you are giving it as a gift to help someone’s condition.. Is it gala or plantain chips?
Bunmi
Lmaoooooooooooo so true. Hahahahaha
dex
No, it’s actually butter chinchin.
I’m crying fam.
I love you guys.
Terdoh
#GalaOrPlantainChips
Bunmi
And then there’s body count. Who ever invented or started this body count madness ehnnnnnnnn…. And we all know a man’s body count doesn’t really matter, he’s seen as a ‘badoo’ sef but same cannot be be said for women sadly.
Debloww
Body count resets every year. The more you say this, the more you belieeeeeeeve it!
S
AMEN SISTER!!!!!
Monster
LMAO!!! Preach Sisterr!
Chichi
LMAO! I died at your comment! It worries me so much so I believeeeeeee!!!
Bem Bem
Lmaoo! You go girl!!!
Terdoh
I need to take you out for real. Debz, You’re the actual best.
MIA
Amen sister!!! why didn’t anyone share this information with me since??
Ray
Ok, I have to say this. I’ve been with some real men and one thing they had in common, they never asked me about my body count. I really think a man who is emotionally and sexually matured wouldn’t care so much.
Terdoh
It’s really not about whether or not he asks, in my opinion. It’s what he does with that information. If he looks at you like “Wait. Did you just say you slept with 5 people!?? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5!!!!??? Yo mama should have raised you better!” then you should just let that nigga be.
Ray
No. Don’t even ask. It tells me you are secure enough to be with me without wanting to download my sexual history.
We both have sexual histories, so if I’m not asking for yours, don’t bother about mine.
seryxme
Some guys actually like to discuss sexual histories though. I don’t think ladies should be insecure about sharing it either. If you’re with someone mature enough to handle the info like Terdoh said, it really doesn’t matter. Asking isn’t always about insecurity. Sometimes we just want to share your past and want you to share ours. That said, a guy should respect a lady’s decision not to talk about it.
Blaqlotus
Topics on sexual history should be. “Have you ever had any kind of STD?, ” Tell me what you’ve done in bed , or what you haven’t?. Not how many people have you had sex with?
Evra
Ahahahaha, I should do a follow up piece but it would be so short. Just “Dear Nigerian men, if you stop treating girls who sleep with you like sluts and started treating them with respect before and after the deed maybe they would be willing to give you some without putting you through the metaphorical grinder”
Terdoh
I agree. We men (yes, I did that. That was me) need to stop shaming women and start treating them like equals.
Fam, I should be a motivational speaker.
Air
I totally agree…..
seryxme
Terdoh is crazier than I thought! I can see the painment through the post! I’m sitting this one out y’all.
Ray
You didn’t type 3 paragraphs. Hallelujah!!
seryxme
Loooooool!!! I’ll be going on a comments break soon so I’m putting all the energy in this week.
Ray
I can’t reply your comment about body count and insecurities directly so here I am. I got 2 paragraphs out of you. Yayyy.
seryxme
Lol! That you did! 🙂
Terdoh
So you drop all those deep comments on other people’s posts then come and be a Mikel Obi on my team? Is this life?
sagachristos
Looool. Y’all cut him some slack please. He’s a man of God,sexual topics aren’t really his forte.
seryxme
Lmao! Terdoh, actually the expertise on this topic is a little above my ‘paygrade’ and I knew the comments section was going to explode so I’m learning today, sorry.
Excellent job with the post though. Difficult to pull off but you’re just one crazy genius.
And Sagachristos, I’m not a pastor, please. I’m just a humble learner. Please note everyone. Thank you. ?
brownie
*heaves a sigh* I’ll just sit back nd let y’all do ur thing in d comment section… Oo nd yea,wonderful ryt up u gat dere Terdoh
Sirkastiq
Bawse…
So just like that (again) you’ve sold your market. Tula, might I ask why Terdoh gets to write the posts that gets him some tail while I get the ones that don’t have head?
The discrimination is real.
Just look at how he just updated his wikipedia page with this post.
UGH! I’m sad…console me ladies… mrkelvinis@yahoo.com
Debloww
Agachu!!!
Thetoolsman
Err… You don’t need it?
Ray
Is it Golden?
Terdoh
Still ain’t gotten laid off TNC. So…
similicious
Please send your CV
MissMeddle
But Terdoh is mad ?????
Witness me? Really??!!
Well, I think it has to do with skill and the lack thereof in men. If you start and don’t like what you’re getting then you’re kinda stuck for the duration. Thus, you “shared” nothing.
Terdoh
Wait. So you’re saying good sex has nothing to do with the woman and all depends on whether or not the man is skilled?
LOL!
What’s 10 million multiplied by zero?
Mr. Brightside
Great piece, my good man.
However, just as terrible as the breed descried here are [Nigerian] women who do not handle rejection well.
You know the type; cute, thick in the right places, and curves niggas like it’s going out of style. Yet, aunty cannot deal whenever her pink gets turned down.
Like, sistah cannot comprehend how this Lwkmd-Twitter peasant isn’t responding positively to her advances.
Someone more prosey/witty than me would probably expand this into a TNC-worthy article.
Get on it, Toolsman?
Thetoolsman
Yessir…
Terdoh
Give this to The Chairman.
Ray
Hi Toolsman. Please why is my comment awaiting moderation?
thetoolsman
Just some new security measures we are testing.. it will be out in a bit..
Ray
But when it’s not that they have cursed you from your village, why will I give you pussy and you will reject ebb?
BOMA
Maybe because I’m not in the mood or I have a massive headache or I’m tired
Ray
Lol look at you. Acting like you don’t know cats perform miracles.
ImpurfectHer
Hello Mr. Brightside, can we be friends? 😀
Your fellow LWKMD-Twitter peasant.
Mr. Brightside
Why, yes, madam.
moose
reading this post while listening to TY Dollar Sign’s Or nah.
Ladies listen up!!!!!!!!!!
Vffm
Chai…Terdoh went in hard! But honestly,most of what was said is “true”. I learnt early enough to give a lot more than I get in sex so no woman would ever tell me “you used me” or “you took from me”.
Sex should be interesting whether you both are feeling animalistic or salsaish.
I took a small trip to another african country recently and was intrigued by the way the women acted,they were not shy to say they eanted to experience a Nigerian D and didnt have 1million request after.
Anyway let me close mouth
Terdoh
Shh! Don’t let these people know.
Badman
Kenya?? That place is paradise. I was strutting around like Denzel.
Pearl
Someone is gonna get the ladies pissed today, imagine the insolence, in fact I am more than pissed, fingers can do you fine for all I care. So what you NM are saying if I am correct is that, you can do or stay away from us,(NW) * smh. Please you gat to correct this or we send you all to Ghana then, after all we have options too…
Dear Nigerian Men, oh yes, it is not to difficult to ask, even the holy book says ask and it shall be given, you need to ask naa, and while you are @ it do it nicely, we do same for you though you might not notice as ours are subtle. When you wanna go down south, and your partner is not that willing, maybe, just maybe you haven’t done one or all of those things S wrote to you NM in one of them letters.
And Yes! sex is a beautiful thing which can be enjoyed by both partners . Thank you!
Terdoh
100
*insert two dashes underneath*
firecracker
yeah, agreed we women hoard the veejayjay maybe so that y’all guys would value it… I don’t know but my real issue is that you’d be willing to fork out a hundred grand for nana’s veejayjay… talk about pricey “peem-peem.
My advice? Preeees, stick to miss palm and her five sistas biko. Baaaa bye
Anonymous Aboki
P Square Ma’am, P square..
Premium p****y..
Meh
Initially I was going to fight but, there’s no point. To each his/ her own. Sex isn’t a bargaining chip, I agree with that. The other shenanigans…. Terdoh, na wa
Sparks and Tingles
Great job Terdoh, chop knuckles.
These people hoard the punny so that they can label us “randy”. Emi randy?
Ray
Lmaoo see angle o
Nelo
You have got fingers? And you are still here wailing? Go ssiddon jaare. No be only Ghana….
Surprised you didn’t mention Zambia, Burundi and Sudan. We will consider your request. Till then. Relax.
Terdoh
LMAO!!!
This actually made me burst out laughing.
Have you learned nothing?
Come on girl. “We will consider your request”, like this is the US Embassy.
Okay.
butterflymind
Terdoh, this epistle just for sex?
And you say the palm is a substitute… really??
Oya go and straff Nana in Ghana while your Naija sistahs enjoy their jacuzzi.
On a serious note, like someone already pointed out, if guys didn’t end up calling girls they’ve slept with cheap, sluts and whatever adjectives y’all have in your heads, and if you didn’t make such a big deal about ‘begging’ for sex, maybe women will feel better about expressing their sexuality… because c’mon, we all know we want it as bad as the guys.
Simple ’cause and effect’ baby 😉
Cee
So ur dick is golden, who should I ask? Or rather I want see for myself..Terdoh
Ray
We stay observing
Terdoh
Have you listened to the second song in Kendrick Lamar’s “To Pimp A Butterfly” album?
I’ll make you work for it.
Anonymous Abokiano
It’s Track 1 (athink), & has Lamar screeching, ‘this d**k ain’t free’
mma
“Dear Nigerian Women™, If you’re not ready to share this beautiful gift with us, we know a 10 who will.” Chei!! Na wa o!
Serenity
You can write sex is a great gift from God but you can’t follow up by telling people the consequences of Sex outside marriage.
I pray you people don’t get it too late.
Serenity.
Anonymous Aboki
Amen..
butterflymind
Amen. Amen.
Terdoh
Amen. Amen. Amen.
Seun
Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen
Toni Osai
If sex really was a ‘gift’ then you won’t give out to more than one person…
My 2kobo
Uche
This article was based on the assumption that the feeling is mutual. I’m not denying that females are just as sexual as males. But what if you want to kpensh and I dont want to. Like I really don’t want to. Plus not every time live out an imagination. Even if I’ve thought about riding you 600 million ways, it does not mean. I’m sure there are people you have thought of killing. Did you kill them? I mean. I have thought of frying dodo for weeks now but my stupid struggle to lose weight won’t allow me to. I don’t know where this is going but yes. It is a gift. You have to work for it. Even if I want it. It is not just sex. Else, i’d have slept with every guy i felt sexually attracted to. Whatever. Yes work for it.
Terdoh
I agree with you on this, Uche. If you say no, whether you mean it or not, a real man is supposed to respect it.
Now this post isn’t for those who say no and mean it.
It’s for those who don’t.
The ones who want it but act like they don’t, because they believe that the act is something given as opposed to shared.
Olayinka
Did you mean to say that sex is a gift? Like it’s something you bestow on a man? I don’t understand o. He has to work for sex with you? Please can you kindly define ‘work’ in this sense? Like prove a thousand points to show he deserves to have sex with you? So pls tell me what do you do when you want to have sex with him? Does he make you ‘work’ for it too? So sex is now dodo? Ok.
Nosa
Nah, Yinka, Sex is not dodo. Sex can never be dodo.
Sex is great but it is still not dodo.
It is divine but it is still not dodo.
Dodo for the win
Uche
Of course dodo is way sweeter than sex. So if I can say no to dodo, what is a sex?
seryxme
I support the dodo movement, plix. ✊
Uche
Lol. Maybe it’s cause I’ve accepted my fate as a prude. I don’t remember being the first person to initiate sex with any guy. Never been on the ‘begging’ side. So I wouldn’t know how to deal with it. Yes sex is a two way gift. I insist it is a gift. Yes you have to deserve it. Cause that’s a new level of naked. That’s me opinion up to you on another level. Do you open up to just everybody who wants you to? You have to earn my trust you have to deserve it. No matter how many times I dream of having sex with you if I do not or cannot trust you, nothing will happen. Not even trust sef. Theres so much more. So yes. It is a gift. You have to earn it. And i mean both ways. Any guy who asks for sex from just anyone needs to be checked. Thanks and God bless.
Ray
Lol according to the story in the post, she trusted him enough to go to lunch with him every Wednesday, she trusted him enough to ask him out and enter into a relationship with him. She trusted him enough to go to his house.
So this scenario is clearly not about sex with people you don’t trust or if you would willingly give it up to a random guy you met on the street.
It’s not about women opening their legs to everyone who wants them Or having sex with men they don’t trust and more.
Its about them loving their bodies enough to let it be cherished and taken care of when their men want to do that, instead of fronting.
Girl
Are u the person to determine how she wants her body to be loved and cherished? Is sex the yardstick to express all of that?
If she loves, likes n trusts u, must she give u her body to show how much?
How about respecting her decision not to do anything no matter how much she wants to give it up.
It’s not always about being selfish n hoarding it, it could be about discipline n principles.
N that goes both ways.
This sex thing is just tiring fah!
Meh
Tell them oh!
Priscilla Joy
Lmao, Terdoh! you must really be a big Chris Rock fan, this sounds like what he’ll say with a lot of “yea, I said its” and the “F” word. However, just like it was pointed out earlier, women will continue hoarding until the sex shame culture against women is abolished, which may never be….so beg and smooth talk you shall continue to do.
sagachristos
LMAOOOOOO! TERDOH YOU’RE A BEAST!!! That opening story killed me.
Truth is,this thing started from the beginning of man. And the ladies are really not to blame. I mean,have y’all ever wondered why prostitution is the oldest profession? It’s cos men have been worshipping the ‘cat’ since Adam sold us out just because of Eve’s delicious fruit. It’s that same mentality that makes women think they can make a profession out of giving(enjoying) sex to(with) men. If only we guys can equally pretend to be a little less interested in sex as the ladies then we can maybe win this war. But you know cos the male self-control can be such a dick at times so na to dey beg dey go.
So ladies,edakun,epp us to epp you. Let’s make love not war. Selah
Nelo
Now. That’s the spirit. @Saga, tell them.
Vivian
LOOOOOL!!!
We have really suffered!!!!!
Terdoh
IMAGINE HOW WE FEEL??
Ray
Lmaooooo this post is a major rant!
For a minute, I thought the story would start from the chic messing with the dude and waiting for him to ask her out.
I know a lot of girls who this shit though. Fronting for the D cos “what will he think about me if I give it up so easy?”
Loooool the struggle to not ‘look cheap and easy’, because those of us that don’t waste time when we want a man are sluts 😀
It’s always hilarious when they finally give it up.
Like Jade said, whether 1/90/365 days, a bang is a bang.
JADE
Preach it sisteh!
seryxme
“a bang is a bang.”
Why do I feel this statement sounds so wrong. Probably because I am averse to the “it’s just sex” theory. They aren’t the same, are they? Oh well… *shrugs, continues taking notes*
Ray
Lol no, they are not the same.
seryxme
Oh, alright then. 🙂
Thanks!
Damien
I have to agree on this write up. And I will like to add – Nigerian women have evolved differently from other women around the world. They have a selfless believe that when they give us the pink (it’s not a charity event) it’s a favor that has to be returned via shopping, credit alert, dinners and dates. (Same services are offered at brothels, they just collect cash there).
Intelligent, knowledgeable lots of them, most aren’t aware that stimulus is a both sex thing. Your dildos don’t cum, your vibrators don’t either. If you prefer non livin things doing you, then non living things should pay your bills and take you on dates. You can as well work into a bar holding a vibrator in one hand and say “table for two plzz”. Y’all need to start regarding us sexually. After all you chose us to be “the one” for you, sex is part of the package mamii, premium package. HD, DUAL view. (It’s a two way thing) not a one man show. And kindly watch the news also, follow the stock market, banking rates, international nd local politics, sports and so on (We don’t share the same thing with the Kardashians, why keep up with them) You stand a better chance of getting something out of me by Been current affairs inclined than you thinking sex will do the magic.
JADE
But sex always does the magic hence the rant above, who says women don’t know stuff about the stock market or follow the news??? you want me to know about Barcelona? do you know about GiGi Hadid? Please don’t confuse issues and don’t demand what you cannot give.
yettie
hahaha hahaha…..jade yaff vex oh….
but bros camdam…..I will discuss football with you,stock market reviews,economy as well…..biko we talking sex today…
Ain’t no dumbass bimbo on this blog yo!
Ray
Lool I think you need to upgrade the kind of women you been rolling with though. All those things you mentioned about news, sports, politics, stock, some of us actually do all of them. + kardashians and sex too
Pearl
Hian! bikonu! Don’t let us start this debate, it won’t go down well, kindly correct your post unless you want us to believe that the women you have come across don’t watch the news and you’ve never been to a bank or you don’t watch the news either.
Secondly, I don’t understand what you mean by ” Nigerian women have evolved differently…” I beg to differ…I know the Nigerian woman to be dignified, loving,intelligent, bla bla. You don’t expect us to be like the south African woman ( their nature/ culture, good for them) . @ terdoh said guys can go with the finger, Jade came up with the dildos for the women too, I don’t know why you are crying a river over that . please can the dignified ladies have some peace. Haba!
And yes its rants day
Nosa
Brotherly plix calm dan.
I’m a guy and i do not watch the news, i hate the stock market, do not read or watch or follow politics in any way, i do not even watch sports most times.
But i know more about it than most who watch or follow it, even your favorite club sef.
I’ll even prefer to watch E! over Aljazeera if i have to.
It’s not by who watch it the most.
Don Juan
*injects ur existence with testosterone*
Chichi
Witty write-up. All i have to say is… i’d like to see what the writer looks like..
Uche
He and Sirkastiq did something on youtube. Found it when I Googled his name. (Lol, I’m not a stalker, I just like to know). Permission to drop the link? Or better still. Meet the lady who ‘won’ him at the auction. Heh
Uche
Sorry not on youtube. On TV. The video was on youtube.
Terdoh
*cough* *cough*
Uche
Garlic for the cough? At least I have to figure who is who. Plus the faces don’t match for the both of you. I could say what I expected to find, but that would be crossing the line.
unclecharles
I agree with a bit of the article but def not the part where the writer claims fingers can easily replace TopQuality-GradeA-WellSeasoned-StraightOuttaWestAfrica-TraditionalButStillFreaky Nigerian Vagina.
That aside, if we as NM make a conscious effort to reduce on the slut-shaming and name-calling, Coitus will cease to seem like a huge deal to NW.
Let us help you to help us.
Terdoh
Hallelujah.
OGE
Lmaoooooooooo.
Yeah, we see us having sex with you as doing you a favour but that is because we have realized that you NM can and will do anything to get the pussy. We realize we have that much power over you. Pussy humbles a man especially when it’s the pussy of the woman who has his mumu remote. Nice post terdoh.
Don Juan
*yawns*
Uche
Please sha. Can you bring back the delete comment ish.
thetoolsman
lol.. Why so chicken.. Nah, we want to keep the conversations as honest as possible.. No delete button (for now)…
june
it just had to be him terdoh, this is why you do not show up for dinner right, because you gone insane writing about we women?. ok!!
When you bobos would be saying the chic too like nko, if she accepts the first time. Its you guys who would say she was cheap bla bla bla, you would say she was forward, you would joke about how willing she was to get your ‘D’. Brothers truth is in most cases a ladies would not let you do the do until after much drilling because we ladies love to hear that we are hard nuts to crack, rather than coming so easy. Hope i made a point
seryxme
*taking notes* “do the do” / “much drilling” / “coming so easy”. Ok, done. Next!
serical
I like this post…. think it’s very amusing
isys
I was more interested in the comments than the article, I appreciate terdoh when he’s balanced out by sirkastiq on rounds.
This was offensive, yes sex is to be shared and enjoyed by both parties but if you come at every woman the way you write, I completely understand why your fingers are the frequent costumer for your golden dick…
Ah well *shrugs*
sagachristos
Ahn ahn…sisteh…izz just a joking sturvs na
Afuye Oluwaseun
Lol aunty. Relax. Do you want some Jewwwsss?
chaka khan
Sex is something both parties share, I can’t punish my man with sex because I will think I am doing him whereas I am doing myself……..loool
JADE
I feel u jare, I will stay where i am punishing bae and be punishing myself, i like sex too much for that abeg, there are various ways to bell a cat.
Ray
Lol I don’t even get the idea of hoarding pussy from bae to punish him. Like, he’s supposed to be bae for crying out loud.
What’s even weird is how some women think frequent sex with their men would make them or their pussy lose value to him.
Maybe they need to learn a thing or two cod I don’t think bomb pussy or bomb sex can lose value.
O
LOL? Goodluck Finding him hun. Even the ‘christian’ boys want the ‘cat’ these days.
Don Juan
Ooh Rayyyyy!!!
Anny
WHY WILL YOU USE VASELINE??
Chinweike
The comments….
mayO
Hold out on sex with her more than she expects and watch her beg for it.
The N
I was gonna leave well enough alone, but nah…. in as much as I agree that sex is enjoyed by both parties.. MAN AND WOMAN….some men make it feel like their penises are the Holy Rods upon which we must serve and pay homage to… please, your golden rod can be replaced too inukwa….in a way men are hailed for running through a whole village of women, but if a woman tried that, she’s automatically a slut, so please forgive her if she feels like you should work for it before she gives you the cookie…. and please, by the way, not every Winnie gets the cookie from the jar. *bows out*
khad
Reverse is my own case I wish I can always do shakara
thetoolsman
O_O
C
Lmao. Please please please, and bloody please how many men appreciate a woman who admit to wanting to have sex with them easily? The moment most men discover that they are wanted by a particular woman they take it for granted. Again, there are men who would slut shame you for actually wanting what you want from them. How appreciative are you of a woman who tells you that she actually wants to have sex? The mentality is that “if she makes it easy then she’s crap, she’s a slut”, “if she has casual sex then she’s a whore” and that is why a lot of women make it difficult for men. The mentality needs to be wiped out.
moose
making it difficult?!!!! like really, you want it and I want it yet you deprive me (yourself) all in the name of not looking cheap,well if I hit that after one night and if I hit that after six months it really makes no difference..So make it about you and your needs and not about how anyone will look at you just cos you had sex that you really wanted and needed to at the time.
Ray
Dear Toolsman, I think we should have a special day where we all get to put up our pictures and pretend they are memes.
Lol. Just a thought.
By the way, you’ve put my comment in detention again.
KVNX
Oh yeah! It would be rad to put a face to
the name. Your comments on DNW series
have been fire.
Ray
😀
thetoolsman
I think there might be a problem with this your email address.. Maybe try another? And thanks for the suggestions. .We’ve actually considered that, just trying to find a way to minimise the chaos so we dont end up breaking the site..
Nosa
Lol Lmao Lwkmd lmfao.
I repeat: Lol Lmao Lwkmd Lmfao
I await that day.
What of us who already use out pics as abatars in our comments? (Yes!!!! That is me, with the blood and all)
thetoolsman
In ya mind…
Girl
And if I simply want to be celibate n I’m not a virgin, am I hoarding sex?
I can be immensely attracted to u n do the whole make out thing doesn’t mean I want to have sex.
I think it’s best not to kiss sef before u say I’ve led u to the buffet n told u u can’t have any of the meals on display.
If there is a good guy out there willing to be in a relationship without sex pls point t him my way.
I’m slightly crazy but incredibly loving
Sparks and Tingles
I am the guy you seek. But I would like to be sure of your reasons for wanting to be celibate, is it religious? Are you asexual? Incapable of turning it on even when you want it? Are you a feminist trying to prove a point?
By the way, I like sex but I am not keen on having sex if there is substance, if you are the perfect combination of brains and beauty that I seek.
Girl
It’s both religious n a personal decision to stay off it.
I’ve come to the realisation that in my quest for self improvement, I would have to give up certain things n that is one of them.
I’ve also realised that in growing my relationship with God something has got to give n it’s not been easy.
Have sex or don’t, all that matters at the end of the day is how you feel about urself (even if he begs u from now till rapture n u know u won’t feel good with ur decision, don’t do it. If u can do the do without any self recrimination…) in every way. Define beauty n brains, cos for me it’s all relative!!!
BOMA
I was that guy but eh…………
Girl
What changed? I’ll like to know, maybe help a sister!
Nosa
I know a guy. I know a guy.
But it wouldn’t hurt to know what you mean by “good”
Girl
Patient n understanding.
seryxme
It’s Dejidope you’re looking for… Oops! ?
Girl
Are u sure?
seryxme
Wait, you’re serious about this thing? You should provide an email address and let people send in their CVs o.
Dejidope ‘sounds’ like a good Christian guy, though. At least from comments on here. Don’t know anything else.
Seun
Hello!?
Girl
Hi!?
DEE
My sister in the lord. You tell someone you are celibate and next thing you hear is “what is that? but you are not a virgin na, you cannot be looking like this and be celibate….. Chineke!!! ” As if… then they start looking at you like you have 2 heads, or you are trying to pull one on them.
I am a secondary virgin, I have decided to revirginise myself. Christ did not die for me to come and be sharing Puna upandan like sallah ram. I pity my husband though, he will be popping viagra like multivitamins (nkem, I kid you not), but until then… let me continue swimming in this my self imposed jacuzzi. Pass me that sex on the beach… this sister is mighty thirsty.
Girl
An ex actually said I hadn’t been with real men. N I had a *really?* look on my face. The race continues!
Popeye
These comments are so hilarious!
In my opinion, the shakara is all part of the feminine nature n I honestly wouldn’t blame any woman for “forming” because a lot of guys also have diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to “sexcapades” n no lady would like to be shamed.
The shakara should be reduced and women should stop seeing it as doing favors to men cos truly no be one person dey enjoy am.
bolaji
If you like continue shouting there, you will still beg
Leonora
I think I just fell in love with @Terdoh. You hit some hard truths there. As a former leader-on of men I finally grew a pair and decided that if my head and my body want to have sex with someone, I will not create imaginary obstacles or go into a mental debate with myself.
khad
Am so much loving the comments even more than the topic itself, but come to think of it, if shakara no dey the guy won’t feel like he has done what anyone hasn’t done b4, and the woman feeling kind of shy after the whole thing makes a man feel so much on top of the world like”I am d don”. And how will a man really feel after the whole thing and the woman says” mtsheeew is that all you could do?get more training” so men appreciate it when you beg for it and she makes you feel she has gold in there. The moment she gives a free toll and she embarrasses you join then you will appreciate her first No.
Touches
Men want a woman who knows all the skills in bed yet at the same time chaste. The double standard is just annoying. It is for such reasons that women tend to be ‘someway’ about sex. Ofcourse women wanna have sex but they are just scared they will be branded cheap.
Femme
Just seeing this as I was busy getting some. Sex is to be enjoyed o, boo came home and was snoozing off from work stress and girl was horny as hell. After ranting for hours on how I was left hanging, I finally got some good old ‘D’ so I am happy.
We act like we don’t want it cos we r seen as sluts if we do but with d right person (gives good head and can workbd waist) no forming abeg!
May we try to be more open and communicate better wen we want some and thunder fire any1 who judges us for wanting some and asking for same!
dex
I’m just glad my battery survived till the end of the comments section.
I still love most y’all.
My opinion on the matter has been swallowed midway tru reading y’all’s opinions.
G’nyt
Marilyn
I honestly cant find my opinion no more
Marilyn
I thought the file place was for profile pic
dex
but am still here oh.
Giggity!
Masako
My problem with Nigerian men is the ability to make a woman “cum”.
Is it really sex if you can’t satisfy a woman???
Terdoh
You just opened another kettle of fish. But I’ll say this.
There are 12 different kinds of orgasms women can experience. If your man can’t help you attain at least one of them, Something’s wrong somewhere.
Quoray
Curious, what are the 12 types of orgasms Terdoh?
Bizzke
Was about to insert *You think you’re doing us You’re doing yourself* Safe to say we’ve giving up on NW, ??Lil Kesh- Is it Because I Love You
Aghumiele
So…i found the YouTube video.
Question is which of them is @Terdoh???
Terdoh
The fine one.
Stephanie
Okay, I’m sorry but I don’t 100% agree with either side like most ppl are. For some ppl(me) it IS a gift to give. because I won’t just sleep with anybody, I chose to sleep with YOU. You think You’re the only one looking to get in there?? NO. After you will I walk out of your house take a shower go to another house and fuck someone else? NO. Why? Because my body is not a drive thru, it is a VERY exclusive clubhouse, and not everybody is allowed to enter. And if you have membership, it is an EXCLUSIVE invite, so therefore, it is SPECIAL. Now what I have a problem with is a.)You want to enter my clubhouse, I tell you exclusive members only, you are vexing…why? If you are looking for somewhere to just chill before the next new zones open then you have lost your way mister. B.) You messed up, you didn’t do your due diligence before you gave out exclusive invite, now you see that this member, ALL puns are intended, does not belong…aunty, you take it on the shoulder and screen with brain next time. He was paying his dues abi? Making it rain in the house…but he was not sticking to club rules. Sorry. I think people who see sex as a gift are not the problem, its people who see sex as a strategy.
Terdoh
No one is saying let everyone who wants to sleep with you, or everyone who finds you attractive, sleep with you. That would be outrageous on both ends. My point, like the story implied, is if we’re both attracted to each other, and the only reason you’re not giving it to me is because you think it’s a gift you bestow to me as opposed to something we will both enjoy immensely, then leave it.
I do agree with your body being an exclusive club. Not everyone deserves it. Not everyone should get it, absolutely true. But there is one who does. So why the fronting, Ms Fender?
Cthulhu
This happened to me once in Uni. Only that I went to the bathroom to “let my people go”. I got back to continue working on my report and she goes “okay let’s do it”
Me: Baby, the train yaff go, the train yaff mooove, the train is ya traiiiin.
Terdoh
LMAO!
“Okay let’s do it”
Did you ask her why she changed her mind?
Cthulhu
Frankly, I don’t remember. Great piece, a friend told me to come and read this at lunch. I’m surprised you’re not getting a lot more flack for it.
Terdoh
Maybe it’s cos they agree…
Laurel
Lol!!!! Yeah our vagina is made of platinum!! When you get married to her n she says no, try calling during the day before you get home in the evening, hug more, be naughty during those pre-sex calls and do more foreplay! We don’t do “whambam ” sex!!! So long you’re still at the dating stage “norring4u”
Brenda
Really,am I missing something here! Do they no manufacture V..same ideology for Nigerian men
Stop feeling like every girl who opens herself to you is cheap.until then…go find somewhere else if ur d**k is golden
Nubia
This is just #Epic! You couldn’t have put it better. However you will discover that this may only be applicable to Nigerian women from certain parts especially the yorubas (i am yoruba by the way). I hear my calabar sisters give it freely and excellently…. #winks.