Dear Nigerian Women: Sex Is Something We Share Not Something You Give To Us

Dear Nigerian Women.

First off, and this isn’t sarcasm, I want to say thank you.

Thank you for all the wonderful things you do for us. We love how good you make us feel, how happy we get around you, and oh, how you help us deplete our already limited revenue. I don’t know what we would do without the constant, love, care, and incessant nagging. And I’ll tell you this, our lives would not be the same if y’all didn’t spice up the relationship with your multiple requests for vacations in Dubai, the latest Louboutins, and Shawarma.

So again, thank you. You do a lot to keep us together.

Now that we’ve gotten the vote of thanks out the way, I’m here today to try to change a certain mentality that has apparently become deep rooted in the heart of most Nigerian Women™.

I’ll start with a story.

[Open scene]

Boy is a brilliant, successful lawyer. Probably lives in Lekki. I don’t know, I’m just saying…Boy is super witty on all social media timelines. Averages like 500 retweets per letter, all that jazz. Girl notices boy. Girl realises she really likes boy. Girl strategically places herself in the way for boy to hop in her DMs (don’t look at me. You know how y’all do), next thing you know, boy and girl are having lunch dates at Cactus Restaurant every Wednesday at 1pm.

Girl does her research. Boy turns out to be a single man, searching for a good woman to make his own (I know. Plot twist of life. Wait till you hear he’s a good Yorùbá man). He’s legit. Girl asks boy out (score for feminism!), Boy says yes (Girl power woo!), they kick off relationship.

Girl has been wanting that Yorùbá D for quite some time. It is crystal clear. “I wish he would just grab my ass under the moonlight and see where it goes from there” girl whispers to herself every night before she sleeps. Girl has dreams of getting some tongue. Girl wakes up in former-bed-now-jacuzzi.

Girl needs to get some.

But every time boy tries to get some of that righteous nani, girl says no. Girl asks boy if that’s all he thinks of? “Is that all I am to you?” girl blurts out in disgust. Boy is confused. “She was tugging at my jeans 2 seconds ago”, boy says to himself. Girl pushes boy away and continues to watch Netflix. Boy ponders the meaning of the universe.

[Cut scene]

I know so many foreign girls who will read this and go “Well that’s some ol’ bullshit. She really continued to watch Netflix??”, but trust me ladies, this is what we Nigerian men go through. These Nigerian Women will lead us on and start asking us childish questions like “What are you doing?” and “Why are you taking off your pants?” and “Is it in?

Stop this nonsense.

You women act like sex with you is a privilege.

Like to your government we are supposed to pledge.

Like just to get some, we’re supposed to jump through fire and hail.

Like we’re supposed to give an arm, a leg and a head to get some tail.

Like we should beg to have your legs inna the air.

Well I have three words for you: F. O. H.

Hallelujah.

Now I’m not gonna lie and say I don’t beg for sex, because pretty much every man does. I know how many times I’ve pleaded on some “Baby please, just the shaft” tip (see what I did there? See it?) And I’m not going to lie and say we don’t appreciate it when you let us hit the booty so hard it yells out “Witness me!” like one of Immortal Joe’s minions in Mad Max.

But ladies…let’s be real.

You women love sex just as much as we do.

Sex is not something you give us. Sex is not a gift you bestow upon your faithful servant, your Queenship. Sex is not something we take from you, it’s something we share. It’s a beautiful, magical experience that we BOTH enjoy dammit. Don’t ruin the most beautiful thing God created by giving us attitude like “damn right nigga, you should be happy I’m giving you some”.

Do you know you can be replaced by fingers?

I see you taking off your hairnets and re-tying your wrappers, gearing up to fight. But we all know that:

  • Fingers won’t get pregnant.
  • Fingers won’t complain when you’ve been going for hours.
  • Fingers won’t give you STDs.
  • Fingers will literally never, ever leave you.

Vaseline so cheap these days fam.

– Martin Luther King Jr.

Matter of fact, and I say this with all the conviction in my heart, if you’re having sex with me, I’M doing YOU a favour. This dick is golden. (Yeah, I said it). You women need to stop acting like your pussy is platinum (as opposed to pink) on the inside. You need to fix up. There’s Eritrean, Sierra Leonean, shit, I’m going too far, there’s Ghanaian women with 15” waists and 45” sized asses that’s ready to bend over backwards (and forwards, yo, have you seen a Nana bend over forwards? Divine.) to do whatever we want. And a return trip costs less than a hundred grand so y’all better stop this childishness.

Dear Nigerian Women™, If you’re not ready to share this beautiful gift with us, we know a 10 who will.

Peace, love, and all that stuff.

Terdoh.

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Terdoo

Gone insane...will not be home for dinner.
Comments
  • Avatar
    Miss Tiller

    I just read this on the train and boy do I look crazy cos this was too funny. You’ve made my morning . Thank you.

    October 15, 2015
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      ADEE

      Enjoy your chapman

      October 15, 2015
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    MIA

    Then please share with them…. Yeah we like sex like guys in fact a lil more but becos of the shaming we get with when pple know our body count we want to make it count.

    My drink please…. If I could have coffee with a lil in fact a lot of whisky inside I would love that..

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar

      I’m feeling generous today. Here you go…. c[_]

      October 15, 2015
  • Avatar
    S

    Terdoh! you’re the man!
    100% %

    October 15, 2015
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    Teaballow

    …and here comes Terdoh!!!

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar

      Is that you? Pretty 🙂

      October 15, 2015
  • Avatar
    Teaballow

    Chaiii!!!! Error!!!!…How do I delete comments ooo…this was not d plan

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Debloww

      Lmaoo

      We don’t judge here.

      October 15, 2015
    • Avatar

      I don’t see any error here though. Quite the contrary.

      October 15, 2015
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      sagachristos

      C’mon don’t be shy. Fine picture laidis and you want to delete the comment? No please 🙂

      October 15, 2015
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      Vivian

      LMAO!!! I did the same too, I just unlooked

      October 15, 2015
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      Ray

      Lool we know, we know 😉

      October 15, 2015
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    adayda

    @Terdoh, i hope you are prepared for the sticks, daggers and swords coming your way.

    Signed
    A concerned party

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Terdoh

      Lol! Yeah. I’m ready.
      Come at me bro…

      October 15, 2015
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    Bunmi

    Hahahahahahaha LOOOOL
    I just can’t, I just cant…

    I dont know why some ladies do this though, using sex to deal with their husbands like they are the only ones in possession of a V. There’s V everywhere please, if you decide to punish your husband with the golden V, he can easily get it anywhere.

    Sometimes the ladies might just be pretending because they don’t want to be seen as a slut, I have heard guys call women who always give them sex on a regular basis ‘cheap’. I don’t know where this assumption comes from but a guy once told me he will never marry a woman he has slept with more than 5times except he disvirgined her so you see…
    I think Debloww has had a poll done on an issue similar to this discussion before and the comments were crazy. Sometimes, she wants you to beg for it so you don’t see her as ‘cheap’.
    I’ll like the read the comments on this one though. Hahaha

    October 15, 2015
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      Ray

      Lol no offense but that guy must score very low on the maturity scale. It’s funny how guys like that don’t think there’s anything wrong if they pass through all the girls in the hood but the girl they will eventually marry must be Mary.

      October 15, 2015
      • Avatar
        Ray

        Gold.

        October 15, 2015
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    JADE

    The dick is golden? really? LOL, yet you are willing to spend a hundred grand on flights alone for some Nana pussy? Abeg you guys can also be replaced by fingers, vibrators, rabbits, dildos should i go on??? and no if we are banging, you are not doing me a favour, we are both enjoying our bodies But then I hate pretentiousness and i think its horrible to use sex as a weapon, ladies if you wanna bang bang, dont get yourself so wet your bed turns into a jacuzzi (yes i saw what you did there Terdoh), whether you bang today, or in 90 days or in 365 days, all na bang so why torture yasef?

    PS: Ive heard a lot about this ‘just the tip’ shit, I have never experienced such a mad situation, i mean why bother with just the tip, we either do or we don’t.

    October 15, 2015
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      sagachristos

      Sorry,I dunno if I was the only who noticed but rabbits???

      October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      sagachristos

      Sorry,I dunno if I was the only one who noticed but rabbits???

      October 15, 2015
      • Avatar
        JADE

        🙂

        October 15, 2015
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    GB

    “Vaseline so cheap these days fam”?! That just cracked me up!

    I’ve been kinda waiting for this one, I must admit, and I must say “well done, Terdoh!” All women should remember to remember this. I suppose all this nonsense stems from that tripe we’ve all heard that when a woman has sex, she ‘cheapens’ or ‘demeans’ herself somehow. Maybe some of y’all still think you’re doing a homie a favor because of that. I dunno. “It’s something we share” <– Words to live by.

    And remember, If you really want to do a man a favor, he should just lie back and you do all the work!

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Paul

      This is my first comment here. I was forced to say something. I found ur response very hilarious, feel free to congratulate yourself on a post well written.

      October 15, 2015
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    Terdoh never disappoints. Funny amd darn witty. This is so apt. Now ladies can we just enjoy the sex *in chandler bings voice*

    October 15, 2015
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    Anonymous Aboki

    Lol, some ladies about to go in like..

    October 15, 2015
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      Ray

      Lmfaoooo that meme!

      October 15, 2015
  • Avatar

    “Well that’s some ol’ bullshit. She really continued to watch Netflix??” Like seriously?? Where is the CHILL??

    As much as I love this post, I have to disagree, they simply can’t be replaced by fingers, maybe for a time, but after a while, we begin to crave that fountain at Shangri La.
    Ïf no be panadol, e no fit be panadol.

    But still, can y’all stop acting like Terdoh just pointed out?

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Pearl

      Thanks Nosa! ” if e no be panadol…” Word!

      October 15, 2015
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        Badman

        Hahahaha. I saw what you did there.

        October 15, 2015
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    Debloww

    Lmaooooo

    This is one post I agree with. I had this convoy with a friend some days ago. Sex is not what you give as a favour biko. If the thing is doing you like kilode, by all means open the garden of no return and do the do. It is not a gift to the person. If anything you are using him to get that summit!!!

    However, I understand that society is a female dog and we have been brainwashed to believe that we ‘give’ sex and only men enjoy it and blah blah blah…

    I think its even derogatory to yourself to think you are giving it as a gift to help someone’s condition.. Is it gala or plantain chips?

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Bunmi

      Lmaoooooooooooo so true. Hahahahaha

      October 15, 2015
      • Avatar
        dex

        No, it’s actually butter chinchin.
        I’m crying fam.
        I love you guys.

        October 16, 2015
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    Bunmi

    And then there’s body count. Who ever invented or started this body count madness ehnnnnnnnn…. And we all know a man’s body count doesn’t really matter, he’s seen as a ‘badoo’ sef but same cannot be be said for women sadly.

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Debloww

      Body count resets every year. The more you say this, the more you belieeeeeeeve it!

      October 15, 2015
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        S

        AMEN SISTER!!!!!

        October 15, 2015
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        Monster

        LMAO!!! Preach Sisterr!

        October 15, 2015
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        Chichi

        LMAO! I died at your comment! It worries me so much so I believeeeeeee!!!

        October 15, 2015
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        Bem Bem

        Lmaoo! You go girl!!!

        October 15, 2015
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        MIA

        Amen sister!!! why didn’t anyone share this information with me since??

        October 15, 2015
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      Ray

      Ok, I have to say this. I’ve been with some real men and one thing they had in common, they never asked me about my body count. I really think a man who is emotionally and sexually matured wouldn’t care so much.

      October 15, 2015
        • Avatar
          Ray

          No. Don’t even ask. It tells me you are secure enough to be with me without wanting to download my sexual history.
          We both have sexual histories, so if I’m not asking for yours, don’t bother about mine.

          October 15, 2015
          • Avatar

            Some guys actually like to discuss sexual histories though. I don’t think ladies should be insecure about sharing it either. If you’re with someone mature enough to handle the info like Terdoh said, it really doesn’t matter. Asking isn’t always about insecurity. Sometimes we just want to share your past and want you to share ours. That said, a guy should respect a lady’s decision not to talk about it.

            October 15, 2015
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        Blaqlotus

        Topics on sexual history should be. “Have you ever had any kind of STD?, ” Tell me what you’ve done in bed , or what you haven’t?. Not how many people have you had sex with?

        October 16, 2015
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    Evra

    Ahahahaha, I should do a follow up piece but it would be so short. Just “Dear Nigerian men, if you stop treating girls who sleep with you like sluts and started treating them with respect before and after the deed maybe they would be willing to give you some without putting you through the metaphorical grinder”

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Air

      I totally agree…..

      October 16, 2015
  • Avatar

    Terdoh is crazier than I thought! I can see the painment through the post! I’m sitting this one out y’all.

    October 15, 2015
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      Ray

      You didn’t type 3 paragraphs. Hallelujah!!

      October 15, 2015
      • Avatar

        Loooooool!!! I’ll be going on a comments break soon so I’m putting all the energy in this week.

        October 15, 2015
        • Avatar
          Ray

          I can’t reply your comment about body count and insecurities directly so here I am. I got 2 paragraphs out of you. Yayyy.

          October 15, 2015
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            Lol! That you did! 🙂

            October 15, 2015
      • Avatar
        sagachristos

        Looool. Y’all cut him some slack please. He’s a man of God,sexual topics aren’t really his forte.

        October 15, 2015
      • Avatar

        Lmao! Terdoh, actually the expertise on this topic is a little above my ‘paygrade’ and I knew the comments section was going to explode so I’m learning today, sorry.

        Excellent job with the post though. Difficult to pull off but you’re just one crazy genius.

        And Sagachristos, I’m not a pastor, please. I’m just a humble learner. Please note everyone. Thank you. ?

        October 15, 2015
  • Avatar

    *heaves a sigh* I’ll just sit back nd let y’all do ur thing in d comment section… Oo nd yea,wonderful ryt up u gat dere Terdoh

    October 15, 2015
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    Sirkastiq

    Bawse…

    So just like that (again) you’ve sold your market. Tula, might I ask why Terdoh gets to write the posts that gets him some tail while I get the ones that don’t have head?

    The discrimination is real.

    Just look at how he just updated his wikipedia page with this post.

    UGH! I’m sad…console me ladies… mrkelvinis@yahoo.com

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Debloww

      Agachu!!!

      October 15, 2015
    • Avatar

      Err… You don’t need it?

      October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Ray

      Is it Golden?

      October 15, 2015
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        similicious

        Please send your CV

        October 15, 2015
  • Avatar

    But Terdoh is mad ?????
    Witness me? Really??!!
    Well, I think it has to do with skill and the lack thereof in men. If you start and don’t like what you’re getting then you’re kinda stuck for the duration. Thus, you “shared” nothing.

    October 15, 2015
  • Avatar
    Mr. Brightside

    Great piece, my good man.

    However, just as terrible as the breed descried here are [Nigerian] women who do not handle rejection well.

    You know the type; cute, thick in the right places, and curves niggas like it’s going out of style. Yet, aunty cannot deal whenever her pink gets turned down.
    Like, sistah cannot comprehend how this Lwkmd-Twitter peasant isn’t responding positively to her advances.

    Someone more prosey/witty than me would probably expand this into a TNC-worthy article.
    Get on it, Toolsman?

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar

      Yessir…

      October 15, 2015
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        Ray

        Hi Toolsman. Please why is my comment awaiting moderation?

        October 15, 2015
        • Avatar
          thetoolsman

          Just some new security measures we are testing.. it will be out in a bit..

          October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Ray

      But when it’s not that they have cursed you from your village, why will I give you pussy and you will reject ebb?

      October 15, 2015
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        BOMA

        Maybe because I’m not in the mood or I have a massive headache or I’m tired

        October 15, 2015
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          Ray

          Lol look at you. Acting like you don’t know cats perform miracles.

          October 16, 2015
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      ImpurfectHer

      Hello Mr. Brightside, can we be friends? 😀

      Your fellow LWKMD-Twitter peasant.

      October 15, 2015
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        Mr. Brightside

        Why, yes, madam.

        October 16, 2015
  • Avatar
    moose

    reading this post while listening to TY Dollar Sign’s Or nah.
    Ladies listen up!!!!!!!!!!

    October 15, 2015
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    Vffm

    Chai…Terdoh went in hard! But honestly,most of what was said is “true”. I learnt early enough to give a lot more than I get in sex so no woman would ever tell me “you used me” or “you took from me”.

    Sex should be interesting whether you both are feeling animalistic or salsaish.

    I took a small trip to another african country recently and was intrigued by the way the women acted,they were not shy to say they eanted to experience a Nigerian D and didnt have 1million request after.

    Anyway let me close mouth

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Badman

      Kenya?? That place is paradise. I was strutting around like Denzel.

      October 15, 2015
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    Pearl

    Someone is gonna get the ladies pissed today, imagine the insolence, in fact I am more than pissed, fingers can do you fine for all I care. So what you NM are saying if I am correct is that, you can do or stay away from us,(NW) * smh. Please you gat to correct this or we send you all to Ghana then, after all we have options too…

    Dear Nigerian Men, oh yes, it is not to difficult to ask, even the holy book says ask and it shall be given, you need to ask naa, and while you are @ it do it nicely, we do same for you though you might not notice as ours are subtle. When you wanna go down south, and your partner is not that willing, maybe, just maybe you haven’t done one or all of those things S wrote to you NM in one of them letters.

    And Yes! sex is a beautiful thing which can be enjoyed by both partners . Thank you!

    October 15, 2015
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    firecracker

    yeah, agreed we women hoard the veejayjay maybe so that y’all guys would value it… I don’t know but my real issue is that you’d be willing to fork out a hundred grand for nana’s veejayjay… talk about pricey “peem-peem.
    My advice? Preeees, stick to miss palm and her five sistas biko. Baaaa bye

    October 15, 2015
    • Avatar
      Anonymous Aboki

      P Square Ma’am, P square..

      Premium p****y..

      October 15, 2015
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    Meh

    Initially I was going to fight but, there’s no point. To each his/ her own. Sex isn’t a bargaining chip, I agree with that. The other shenanigans…. Terdoh, na wa

    October 15, 2015
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    Sparks and Tingles

    Great job Terdoh, chop knuckles.

    These people hoard the punny so that they can label us “randy”. Emi randy?

    October 15, 2015
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      Ray

      Lmaoo see angle o

      October 15, 2015
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    Nelo

    You have got fingers? And you are still here wailing? Go ssiddon jaare. No be only Ghana….
    Surprised you didn’t mention Zambia, Burundi and Sudan. We will consider your request. Till then. Relax.

    October 15, 2015
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    butterflymind

    Terdoh, this epistle just for sex?
    And you say the palm is a substitute… really??
    Oya go and straff Nana in Ghana while your Naija sistahs enjoy their jacuzzi.

    On a serious note, like someone already pointed out, if guys didn’t end up calling girls they’ve slept with cheap, sluts and whatever adjectives y’all have in your heads, and if you didn’t make such a big deal about ‘begging’ for sex, maybe women will feel better about expressing their sexuality… because c’mon, we all know we want it as bad as the guys.

    Simple ’cause and effect’ baby 😉

    October 15, 2015
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    Cee

    So ur dick is golden, who should I ask? Or rather I want see for myself..Terdoh

    October 15, 2015
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      Ray

      We stay observing

      October 15, 2015
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        Anonymous Abokiano

        It’s Track 1 (athink), & has Lamar screeching, ‘this d**k ain’t free’

        October 15, 2015
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    mma

    “Dear Nigerian Women™, If you’re not ready to share this beautiful gift with us, we know a 10 who will.” Chei!! Na wa o!

    October 15, 2015
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    Serenity

    You can write sex is a great gift from God but you can’t follow up by telling people the consequences of Sex outside marriage.

    I pray you people don’t get it too late.

    Serenity.

    October 15, 2015
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      Anonymous Aboki

      Amen..

      October 15, 2015
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      butterflymind

      Amen. Amen.

      October 15, 2015
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      Seun

      Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen

      October 16, 2015
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      Toni Osai

      If sex really was a ‘gift’ then you won’t give out to more than one person…
      My 2kobo

      October 18, 2015
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    Uche

    This article was based on the assumption that the feeling is mutual. I’m not denying that females are just as sexual as males. But what if you want to kpensh and I dont want to. Like I really don’t want to. Plus not every time live out an imagination. Even if I’ve thought about riding you 600 million ways, it does not mean. I’m sure there are people you have thought of killing. Did you kill them? I mean. I have thought of frying dodo for weeks now but my stupid struggle to lose weight won’t allow me to. I don’t know where this is going but yes. It is a gift. You have to work for it. Even if I want it. It is not just sex. Else, i’d have slept with every guy i felt sexually attracted to. Whatever. Yes work for it.

    October 15, 2015
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      Olayinka

      Did you mean to say that sex is a gift? Like it’s something you bestow on a man? I don’t understand o. He has to work for sex with you? Please can you kindly define ‘work’ in this sense? Like prove a thousand points to show he deserves to have sex with you? So pls tell me what do you do when you want to have sex with him? Does he make you ‘work’ for it too? So sex is now dodo? Ok.

      October 15, 2015
      • Avatar

        Nah, Yinka, Sex is not dodo. Sex can never be dodo.
        Sex is great but it is still not dodo.
        It is divine but it is still not dodo.
        Dodo for the win

        October 15, 2015
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          Uche

          Of course dodo is way sweeter than sex. So if I can say no to dodo, what is a sex?

          October 15, 2015
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            I support the dodo movement, plix. ✊

            October 16, 2015
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        Uche

        Lol. Maybe it’s cause I’ve accepted my fate as a prude. I don’t remember being the first person to initiate sex with any guy. Never been on the ‘begging’ side. So I wouldn’t know how to deal with it. Yes sex is a two way gift. I insist it is a gift. Yes you have to deserve it. Cause that’s a new level of naked. That’s me opinion up to you on another level. Do you open up to just everybody who wants you to? You have to earn my trust you have to deserve it. No matter how many times I dream of having sex with you if I do not or cannot trust you, nothing will happen. Not even trust sef. Theres so much more. So yes. It is a gift. You have to earn it. And i mean both ways. Any guy who asks for sex from just anyone needs to be checked. Thanks and God bless.

        October 15, 2015
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          Ray

          Lol according to the story in the post, she trusted him enough to go to lunch with him every Wednesday, she trusted him enough to ask him out and enter into a relationship with him. She trusted him enough to go to his house.
          So this scenario is clearly not about sex with people you don’t trust or if you would willingly give it up to a random guy you met on the street.
          It’s not about women opening their legs to everyone who wants them Or having sex with men they don’t trust and more.
          Its about them loving their bodies enough to let it be cherished and taken care of when their men want to do that, instead of fronting.

          October 15, 2015
          • Avatar
            Girl

            Are u the person to determine how she wants her body to be loved and cherished? Is sex the yardstick to express all of that?
            If she loves, likes n trusts u, must she give u her body to show how much?
            How about respecting her decision not to do anything no matter how much she wants to give it up.
            It’s not always about being selfish n hoarding it, it could be about discipline n principles.
            N that goes both ways.
            This sex thing is just tiring fah!

            October 16, 2015
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      Meh

      Tell them oh!

      October 16, 2015
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    Priscilla Joy

    Lmao, Terdoh! you must really be a big Chris Rock fan, this sounds like what he’ll say with a lot of “yea, I said its” and the “F” word. However, just like it was pointed out earlier, women will continue hoarding until the sex shame culture against women is abolished, which may never be….so beg and smooth talk you shall continue to do.

    October 15, 2015
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    sagachristos

    LMAOOOOOO! TERDOH YOU’RE A BEAST!!! That opening story killed me.
    Truth is,this thing started from the beginning of man. And the ladies are really not to blame. I mean,have y’all ever wondered why prostitution is the oldest profession? It’s cos men have been worshipping the ‘cat’ since Adam sold us out just because of Eve’s delicious fruit. It’s that same mentality that makes women think they can make a profession out of giving(enjoying) sex to(with) men. If only we guys can equally pretend to be a little less interested in sex as the ladies then we can maybe win this war. But you know cos the male self-control can be such a dick at times so na to dey beg dey go.
    So ladies,edakun,epp us to epp you. Let’s make love not war. Selah

    October 15, 2015
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    Nelo

    Now. That’s the spirit. @Saga, tell them.

    October 15, 2015
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    Vivian

    LOOOOOL!!!

    We have really suffered!!!!!

    October 15, 2015
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    Ray

    Lmaooooo this post is a major rant!
    For a minute, I thought the story would start from the chic messing with the dude and waiting for him to ask her out.
    I know a lot of girls who this shit though. Fronting for the D cos “what will he think about me if I give it up so easy?”
    Loooool the struggle to not ‘look cheap and easy’, because those of us that don’t waste time when we want a man are sluts 😀
    It’s always hilarious when they finally give it up.
    Like Jade said, whether 1/90/365 days, a bang is a bang.

    October 15, 2015
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      JADE

      Preach it sisteh!

      October 15, 2015
    • Avatar

      “a bang is a bang.”

      Why do I feel this statement sounds so wrong. Probably because I am averse to the “it’s just sex” theory. They aren’t the same, are they? Oh well… *shrugs, continues taking notes*

      October 15, 2015
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        Ray

        Lol no, they are not the same.

        October 15, 2015
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          Oh, alright then. 🙂
          Thanks!

          October 15, 2015
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    Damien

    I have to agree on this write up. And I will like to add – Nigerian women have evolved differently from other women around the world. They have a selfless believe that when they give us the pink (it’s not a charity event) it’s a favor that has to be returned via shopping, credit alert, dinners and dates. (Same services are offered at brothels, they just collect cash there).
    Intelligent, knowledgeable lots of them, most aren’t aware that stimulus is a both sex thing. Your dildos don’t cum, your vibrators don’t either. If you prefer non livin things doing you, then non living things should pay your bills and take you on dates. You can as well work into a bar holding a vibrator in one hand and say “table for two plzz”. Y’all need to start regarding us sexually. After all you chose us to be “the one” for you, sex is part of the package mamii, premium package. HD, DUAL view. (It’s a two way thing) not a one man show. And kindly watch the news also, follow the stock market, banking rates, international nd local politics, sports and so on (We don’t share the same thing with the Kardashians, why keep up with them) You stand a better chance of getting something out of me by Been current affairs inclined than you thinking sex will do the magic.

    October 15, 2015
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      JADE

      But sex always does the magic hence the rant above, who says women don’t know stuff about the stock market or follow the news??? you want me to know about Barcelona? do you know about GiGi Hadid? Please don’t confuse issues and don’t demand what you cannot give.

      October 15, 2015
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        yettie

        hahaha hahaha…..jade yaff vex oh….

        but bros camdam…..I will discuss football with you,stock market reviews,economy as well…..biko we talking sex today…
        Ain’t no dumbass bimbo on this blog yo!

        October 15, 2015
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      Ray

      Lool I think you need to upgrade the kind of women you been rolling with though. All those things you mentioned about news, sports, politics, stock, some of us actually do all of them. + kardashians and sex too

      October 15, 2015
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      Pearl

      Hian! bikonu! Don’t let us start this debate, it won’t go down well, kindly correct your post unless you want us to believe that the women you have come across don’t watch the news and you’ve never been to a bank or you don’t watch the news either.

      Secondly, I don’t understand what you mean by ” Nigerian women have evolved differently…” I beg to differ…I know the Nigerian woman to be dignified, loving,intelligent, bla bla. You don’t expect us to be like the south African woman ( their nature/ culture, good for them) . @ terdoh said guys can go with the finger, Jade came up with the dildos for the women too, I don’t know why you are crying a river over that . please can the dignified ladies have some peace. Haba!

      And yes its rants day

      October 15, 2015
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      Brotherly plix calm dan.
      I’m a guy and i do not watch the news, i hate the stock market, do not read or watch or follow politics in any way, i do not even watch sports most times.
      But i know more about it than most who watch or follow it, even your favorite club sef.
      I’ll even prefer to watch E! over Aljazeera if i have to.
      It’s not by who watch it the most.

      October 15, 2015
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        *injects ur existence with testosterone*

        November 7, 2015
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    Chichi

    Witty write-up. All i have to say is… i’d like to see what the writer looks like..

    October 15, 2015
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      Uche

      He and Sirkastiq did something on youtube. Found it when I Googled his name. (Lol, I’m not a stalker, I just like to know). Permission to drop the link? Or better still. Meet the lady who ‘won’ him at the auction. Heh

      October 15, 2015
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        Uche

        Sorry not on youtube. On TV. The video was on youtube.

        October 15, 2015
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        Uche

        Garlic for the cough? At least I have to figure who is who. Plus the faces don’t match for the both of you. I could say what I expected to find, but that would be crossing the line.

        October 15, 2015
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    unclecharles

    I agree with a bit of the article but def not the part where the writer claims fingers can easily replace TopQuality-GradeA-WellSeasoned-StraightOuttaWestAfrica-TraditionalButStillFreaky Nigerian Vagina.

    That aside, if we as NM make a conscious effort to reduce on the slut-shaming and name-calling, Coitus will cease to seem like a huge deal to NW.

    Let us help you to help us.

    October 15, 2015
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    OGE

    Lmaoooooooooo.

    Yeah, we see us having sex with you as doing you a favour but that is because we have realized that you NM can and will do anything to get the pussy. We realize we have that much power over you. Pussy humbles a man especially when it’s the pussy of the woman who has his mumu remote. Nice post terdoh.

    October 15, 2015
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      Don Juan

      *yawns*

      November 7, 2015
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    Uche

    Please sha. Can you bring back the delete comment ish.

    October 15, 2015
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      thetoolsman

      lol.. Why so chicken.. Nah, we want to keep the conversations as honest as possible.. No delete button (for now)…

      October 15, 2015
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    june

    it just had to be him terdoh, this is why you do not show up for dinner right, because you gone insane writing about we women?. ok!!
    When you bobos would be saying the chic too like nko, if she accepts the first time. Its you guys who would say she was cheap bla bla bla, you would say she was forward, you would joke about how willing she was to get your ‘D’. Brothers truth is in most cases a ladies would not let you do the do until after much drilling because we ladies love to hear that we are hard nuts to crack, rather than coming so easy. Hope i made a point

    October 15, 2015
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      *taking notes* “do the do” / “much drilling” / “coming so easy”. Ok, done. Next!

      October 15, 2015
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    serical

    I like this post…. think it’s very amusing

    October 15, 2015
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    isys

    I was more interested in the comments than the article, I appreciate terdoh when he’s balanced out by sirkastiq on rounds.

    This was offensive, yes sex is to be shared and enjoyed by both parties but if you come at every woman the way you write, I completely understand why your fingers are the frequent costumer for your golden dick…

    Ah well *shrugs*

    October 15, 2015
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      sagachristos

      Ahn ahn…sisteh…izz just a joking sturvs na

      October 15, 2015
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      Lol aunty. Relax. Do you want some Jewwwsss?

      October 16, 2015
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    chaka khan

    Sex is something both parties share, I can’t punish my man with sex because I will think I am doing him whereas I am doing myself……..loool

    October 15, 2015
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      JADE

      I feel u jare, I will stay where i am punishing bae and be punishing myself, i like sex too much for that abeg, there are various ways to bell a cat.

      October 15, 2015
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      Ray

      Lol I don’t even get the idea of hoarding pussy from bae to punish him. Like, he’s supposed to be bae for crying out loud.
      What’s even weird is how some women think frequent sex with their men would make them or their pussy lose value to him.
      Maybe they need to learn a thing or two cod I don’t think bomb pussy or bomb sex can lose value.

      October 15, 2015
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        O

        LOL? Goodluck Finding him hun. Even the ‘christian’ boys want the ‘cat’ these days.

        October 15, 2015
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        Don Juan

        Ooh Rayyyyy!!!

        November 7, 2015
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    Anny

    WHY WILL YOU USE VASELINE??

    October 15, 2015
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    Chinweike

    The comments….

    October 15, 2015
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    mayO

    Hold out on sex with her more than she expects and watch her beg for it.

    October 15, 2015
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    The N

    I was gonna leave well enough alone, but nah…. in as much as I agree that sex is enjoyed by both parties.. MAN AND WOMAN….some men make it feel like their penises are the Holy Rods upon which we must serve and pay homage to… please, your golden rod can be replaced too inukwa….in a way men are hailed for running through a whole village of women, but if a woman tried that, she’s automatically a slut, so please forgive her if she feels like you should work for it before she gives you the cookie…. and please, by the way, not every Winnie gets the cookie from the jar. *bows out*

    October 15, 2015
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    khad

    Reverse is my own case I wish I can always do shakara

    October 15, 2015
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      thetoolsman

      O_O

      October 15, 2015
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    C

    Lmao. Please please please, and bloody please how many men appreciate a woman who admit to wanting to have sex with them easily? The moment most men discover that they are wanted by a particular woman they take it for granted. Again, there are men who would slut shame you for actually wanting what you want from them. How appreciative are you of a woman who tells you that she actually wants to have sex? The mentality is that “if she makes it easy then she’s crap, she’s a slut”, “if she has casual sex then she’s a whore” and that is why a lot of women make it difficult for men. The mentality needs to be wiped out.

    October 15, 2015
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      moose

      making it difficult?!!!! like really, you want it and I want it yet you deprive me (yourself) all in the name of not looking cheap,well if I hit that after one night and if I hit that after six months it really makes no difference..So make it about you and your needs and not about how anyone will look at you just cos you had sex that you really wanted and needed to at the time.

      October 16, 2015
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    Ray

    Dear Toolsman, I think we should have a special day where we all get to put up our pictures and pretend they are memes.
    Lol. Just a thought.
    By the way, you’ve put my comment in detention again.

    October 15, 2015
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      KVNX

      Oh yeah! It would be rad to put a face to
      the name. Your comments on DNW series
      have been fire.

      October 15, 2015
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        Ray

        😀

        October 16, 2015
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      thetoolsman

      I think there might be a problem with this your email address.. Maybe try another? And thanks for the suggestions. .We’ve actually considered that, just trying to find a way to minimise the chaos so we dont end up breaking the site..

      October 15, 2015
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      Lol Lmao Lwkmd lmfao.
      I repeat: Lol Lmao Lwkmd Lmfao
      I await that day.
      What of us who already use out pics as abatars in our comments? (Yes!!!! That is me, with the blood and all)

      October 15, 2015
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        thetoolsman

        In ya mind…

        October 16, 2015
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    Girl

    And if I simply want to be celibate n I’m not a virgin, am I hoarding sex?
    I can be immensely attracted to u n do the whole make out thing doesn’t mean I want to have sex.
    I think it’s best not to kiss sef before u say I’ve led u to the buffet n told u u can’t have any of the meals on display.
    If there is a good guy out there willing to be in a relationship without sex pls point t him my way.
    I’m slightly crazy but incredibly loving

    October 15, 2015
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      Sparks and Tingles

      I am the guy you seek. But I would like to be sure of your reasons for wanting to be celibate, is it religious? Are you asexual? Incapable of turning it on even when you want it? Are you a feminist trying to prove a point?

      By the way, I like sex but I am not keen on having sex if there is substance, if you are the perfect combination of brains and beauty that I seek.

      October 15, 2015
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        Girl

        It’s both religious n a personal decision to stay off it.
        I’ve come to the realisation that in my quest for self improvement, I would have to give up certain things n that is one of them.
        I’ve also realised that in growing my relationship with God something has got to give n it’s not been easy.
        Have sex or don’t, all that matters at the end of the day is how you feel about urself (even if he begs u from now till rapture n u know u won’t feel good with ur decision, don’t do it. If u can do the do without any self recrimination…) in every way. Define beauty n brains, cos for me it’s all relative!!!

        October 16, 2015
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      BOMA

      I was that guy but eh…………

      October 15, 2015
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        Girl

        What changed? I’ll like to know, maybe help a sister!

        October 16, 2015
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      I know a guy. I know a guy.
      But it wouldn’t hurt to know what you mean by “good”

      October 15, 2015
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        Girl

        Patient n understanding.

        October 16, 2015
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      It’s Dejidope you’re looking for… Oops! ?

      October 16, 2015
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        Girl

        Are u sure?

        October 16, 2015
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          Wait, you’re serious about this thing? You should provide an email address and let people send in their CVs o.

          Dejidope ‘sounds’ like a good Christian guy, though. At least from comments on here. Don’t know anything else.

          October 17, 2015
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      Seun

      Hello!?

      October 16, 2015
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        Girl

        Hi!?

        October 16, 2015
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      DEE

      My sister in the lord. You tell someone you are celibate and next thing you hear is “what is that? but you are not a virgin na, you cannot be looking like this and be celibate….. Chineke!!! ” As if… then they start looking at you like you have 2 heads, or you are trying to pull one on them.
      I am a secondary virgin, I have decided to revirginise myself. Christ did not die for me to come and be sharing Puna upandan like sallah ram. I pity my husband though, he will be popping viagra like multivitamins (nkem, I kid you not), but until then… let me continue swimming in this my self imposed jacuzzi. Pass me that sex on the beach… this sister is mighty thirsty.

      October 16, 2015
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        Girl

        An ex actually said I hadn’t been with real men. N I had a *really?* look on my face. The race continues!

        October 16, 2015
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    Popeye

    These comments are so hilarious!
    In my opinion, the shakara is all part of the feminine nature n I honestly wouldn’t blame any woman for “forming” because a lot of guys also have diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to “sexcapades” n no lady would like to be shamed.
    The shakara should be reduced and women should stop seeing it as doing favors to men cos truly no be one person dey enjoy am.

    October 15, 2015
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    If you like continue shouting there, you will still beg

    October 15, 2015
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    I think I just fell in love with @Terdoh. You hit some hard truths there. As a former leader-on of men I finally grew a pair and decided that if my head and my body want to have sex with someone, I will not create imaginary obstacles or go into a mental debate with myself.

    October 15, 2015
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    khad

    Am so much loving the comments even more than the topic itself, but come to think of it, if shakara no dey the guy won’t feel like he has done what anyone hasn’t done b4, and the woman feeling kind of shy after the whole thing makes a man feel so much on top of the world like”I am d don”. And how will a man really feel after the whole thing and the woman says” mtsheeew is that all you could do?get more training” so men appreciate it when you beg for it and she makes you feel she has gold in there. The moment she gives a free toll and she embarrasses you join then you will appreciate her first No.

    October 15, 2015
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    Touches

    Men want a woman who knows all the skills in bed yet at the same time chaste. The double standard is just annoying. It is for such reasons that women tend to be ‘someway’ about sex. Ofcourse women wanna have sex but they are just scared they will be branded cheap.

    October 15, 2015
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    Femme

    Just seeing this as I was busy getting some. Sex is to be enjoyed o, boo came home and was snoozing off from work stress and girl was horny as hell. After ranting for hours on how I was left hanging, I finally got some good old ‘D’ so I am happy.

    We act like we don’t want it cos we r seen as sluts if we do but with d right person (gives good head and can workbd waist) no forming abeg!

    May we try to be more open and communicate better wen we want some and thunder fire any1 who judges us for wanting some and asking for same!

    October 16, 2015
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    dex

    I’m just glad my battery survived till the end of the comments section.
    I still love most y’all.
    My opinion on the matter has been swallowed midway tru reading y’all’s opinions.
    G’nyt

    October 16, 2015
    • Avatar
      Marilyn

      I honestly cant find my opinion no more

      October 16, 2015
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        Marilyn

        I thought the file place was for profile pic

        October 16, 2015
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    dex

    but am still here oh.

    Giggity!

    October 16, 2015
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    Masako

    My problem with Nigerian men is the ability to make a woman “cum”.

    Is it really sex if you can’t satisfy a woman???

    October 16, 2015
    • Avatar
      Terdoh

      You just opened another kettle of fish. But I’ll say this.

      There are 12 different kinds of orgasms women can experience. If your man can’t help you attain at least one of them, Something’s wrong somewhere.

      October 16, 2015
      • Avatar
        Quoray

        Curious, what are the 12 types of orgasms Terdoh?

        October 19, 2015
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    Bizzke

    Was about to insert *You think you’re doing us You’re doing yourself* Safe to say we’ve giving up on NW, ??Lil Kesh- Is it Because I Love You

    October 16, 2015
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    Aghumiele

    So…i found the YouTube video.
    Question is which of them is @Terdoh???

    October 16, 2015
    • Avatar
      Terdoh

      The fine one.

      October 18, 2015
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    Stephanie

    Okay, I’m sorry but I don’t 100% agree with either side like most ppl are. For some ppl(me) it IS a gift to give. because I won’t just sleep with anybody, I chose to sleep with YOU. You think You’re the only one looking to get in there?? NO. After you will I walk out of your house take a shower go to another house and fuck someone else? NO. Why? Because my body is not a drive thru, it is a VERY exclusive clubhouse, and not everybody is allowed to enter. And if you have membership, it is an EXCLUSIVE invite, so therefore, it is SPECIAL. Now what I have a problem with is a.)You want to enter my clubhouse, I tell you exclusive members only, you are vexing…why? If you are looking for somewhere to just chill before the next new zones open then you have lost your way mister. B.) You messed up, you didn’t do your due diligence before you gave out exclusive invite, now you see that this member, ALL puns are intended, does not belong…aunty, you take it on the shoulder and screen with brain next time. He was paying his dues abi? Making it rain in the house…but he was not sticking to club rules. Sorry. I think people who see sex as a gift are not the problem, its people who see sex as a strategy.

    October 17, 2015
    • Avatar
      Terdoh

      No one is saying let everyone who wants to sleep with you, or everyone who finds you attractive, sleep with you. That would be outrageous on both ends. My point, like the story implied, is if we’re both attracted to each other, and the only reason you’re not giving it to me is because you think it’s a gift you bestow to me as opposed to something we will both enjoy immensely, then leave it.

      I do agree with your body being an exclusive club. Not everyone deserves it. Not everyone should get it, absolutely true. But there is one who does. So why the fronting, Ms Fender?

      October 18, 2015
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    Cthulhu

    This happened to me once in Uni. Only that I went to the bathroom to “let my people go”. I got back to continue working on my report and she goes “okay let’s do it”

    Me: Baby, the train yaff go, the train yaff mooove, the train is ya traiiiin.

    October 17, 2015
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      Terdoh

      LMAO!

      “Okay let’s do it”
      Did you ask her why she changed her mind?

      October 18, 2015
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        Cthulhu

        Frankly, I don’t remember. Great piece, a friend told me to come and read this at lunch. I’m surprised you’re not getting a lot more flack for it.

        October 18, 2015
        • Avatar
          Terdoh

          Maybe it’s cos they agree…

          October 18, 2015
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    Lol!!!! Yeah our vagina is made of platinum!! When you get married to her n she says no, try calling during the day before you get home in the evening, hug more, be naughty during those pre-sex calls and do more foreplay! We don’t do “whambam ” sex!!! So long you’re still at the dating stage “norring4u”

    October 18, 2015
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    Brenda

    Really,am I missing something here! Do they no manufacture V..same ideology for Nigerian men
    Stop feeling like every girl who opens herself to you is cheap.until then…go find somewhere else if ur d**k is golden

    January 5, 2016
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    Nubia

    This is just #Epic! You couldn’t have put it better. However you will discover that this may only be applicable to Nigerian women from certain parts especially the yorubas (i am yoruba by the way). I hear my calabar sisters give it freely and excellently…. #winks.

    January 15, 2016
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