Like clockwork, every week, a Nigerian man on twitter will tweet these words; “Cooking is a woman’s job. My wife must cook. I don’t care if she works 5am to 11:59pm, she will come back home and cook. When she is not mad.” Or something along that line, and twitter Nigeria will go berserk for about 3 hours or till a significantly more stupid tweet floats into our timelines.
While I’ve been told to ignore such attention seeking and arrogant ignorance, I’d like to speak on this issue again while addressing a particular group of people; the people who use religion especially Christianity to defend their misogynistic views and poor treatment of women. Before you tell me God put an order in marriage and the man is superior to the woman (which I believe is false by the way and has no biblical standing) let’s talk about the sons of Isaac for a second.
Isaac had two sons. One was Esau and the other was Jacob. We all know how this story goes. Esau trades his birthright for Gbegiri (bean soup) and Jacob feeds his father one heck of a delicious meal which resulted in one getting blessed and the other, well, he got a forced, half hearted blessing that was like a curse. Before all this went down, note that God chose Jacob over Esau while in the womb even though he was younger. Why would God do such a thing? Well, I think it’s because God didn’t like Esau. He knew immediately the two brothers begun to wrestle in the womb, that one was better than the other. He chose the better one, and rejected the other. Which begs the question, Who is Esau? Why did God dislike him? See God isn’t really bound by time and he already knows all the possible outcomes of everybody’s life. (God is a master at permutations). God took one look at all the permutations and was like… I don’t like this dude. God saw who he would become and instantly disliked all he stood for.
Esau is the epitome of what the stereotypical Nigerian man aspires to be. He was masculine, did ‘Manly stuff’ like hunting instead of staying at home like his “sissy brother”. He was muscular, mean, wicked and without compassion. He was also obsessed with food. He married strange women (who could probably cook a mean bowl of gbegiri), he had no loyalty and didn’t care about how others felt as long as he got his way. He didn’t have any tenderness in his heart so all that “raising sheep” family business was definitely not for him. He was a strong big man, prone to violence. There was no way he would have been able to nurture any living thing. He’d never go looking for that one lost lamb and would probably snap the knee of one or two disobedient goats to teach them a lesson. But his father loved him, the way African fathers love their ‘Strong Sons.’ All he cared about was making conquests and proving that he was a man.
But, in my opinion, God didn’t love him. God isn’t really into all that “I’m the man” nonsense. He isn’t a fan of violent men, and he doesn’t love men who would sell away their future for a bowl of soup. He also isn’t a fan of people who marry strange women who do not have the capacity to help his sons build the future he has planned for them.
‘Food for the belly, belly for the food, and they shall both perish together”
Who did God love? Jacob. Jacob was a kind, sweet and considerate person. Jacob was a shepherd. He stayed home with his mother, learned to cook, not just cook (please boiling water and cooking indomie do not count) I mean COOK. The aroma of his soup was enough to make Esau sell his birthright. Despite having many servants and a mother, he cooked his own food without waiting for a maid to do it for him. When he would pick a wife? He didn’t pick any of the strange women his brothers kept around in other to make himself feel good. He picked Rachael. An extremely intelligent woman, a beauty, and a hard worker who understood his job and could help him build a future. He earned her. She wasn’t his underling, she was his love. He didn’t need her to cook. He did everything to make her happy. Years after marrying her and having 12 sons, he would still cook and send food to his sons. He didn’t ask his daughter, wives or maids to cook for his sons, he packed the meals himself.
God loved Jacob because Jacob had a good heart. Jacob was fair to his wives (even the one that he was saddled with), his sons, everyone. Jacob was a big softie. He was attached to his sons and showered his favorites with love and attention. Jacob cried a lot and God loved him like that.
This is the type of man God loves. A man who has compassion; not a monster looking to enslave other people. God is interested in men who are fair in their treatment of women. Men who care about other people, men who do not see themselves as superior. There is nowhere in the bible that says it is the woman’s duty to cook. Jesus and his disciples smoked their fish by themselves. They didn’t wait for Martha to come and feed them. The one time he did go to eat in his friend’s house and Martha was cooking to “impress him”, he really wasn’t impressed. He however enjoyed the conversation he was having with Mary and deemed a deep conversation more important than cooking prowess.
God designed the woman to be a helper. Help is voluntary, not out of compulsion. The bible didn’t say God made a slave for Adam. Help is for important things you can’t achieve by yourself. You can definitely clean the house and cook. You are not handicapped. You don’t need Help for that. You need Help for important stuff like achieving your destiny; which is not food, except of course you are Esau and you’ve traded your destiny for food.
The population of Nigerian men is like 98% Esau and 2% Jacob. It is our sad reality. The violence against other humans especially women is something we see everyday, everywhere. We see Esaus even among our elected officials and in our churches. I won’t tell you to change. I am not your mother. And if you are Esau you probably wouldn’t listen anyway. Just don’t come here acting like God loves Esau. He really didn’t care much for him then, and he definitely wouldn’t now. If you want to be Esau, please go right ahead. Marry a woman who is fine with that. But don’t go trying to force Rachaels into accepting your nonsense. Most women cook anyway. We just don’t want to do so for Esaus who don’t understand that it is an expression of love, a sacrifice on our part and not an entitlement. Be Esau, we will be Rachaels in peace and marry Jacobs. By all means, go after your strange women who will help you expand your already over bloated egos and be slaves to you for the rest of your lives together. Live violently ever after and raise Edomites together. We’ll be busy raising children of promise in love with our Jacobs. Thank you.
Association of Twitter Rachaels/Feminists.
A uterus is neither a kitchen utensil nor an ingredient You can cook without one.