The Failure That Was ‘London Has Fallen’

Opinion

In 2013, Scottish actor Gerard Butler starred in the action-packed movie ‘Olympus Has Fallen’ and I loved it! Prior to Gerard single handedly saving America from the hands of a North Korean terrorist called Mr-sexy-as-absolute-fuck Kang, Gerard’s other notable films include the 2006 movie 300 where he played King Leonidas of Sparta, then the 2009 movie…

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In 2013, Scottish actor Gerard Butler starred in the action-packed movie ‘Olympus Has Fallen’ and I loved it! Prior to Gerard single handedly saving America from the hands of a North Korean terrorist called Mr-sexy-as-absolute-fuck Kang, Gerard’s other notable films include the 2006 movie 300 where he played King Leonidas of Sparta, then the 2009 movie ‘Law Abiding Citizen’. He really hasn’t done impressively much since then.

The day I saw the movie The Revenant, I happened to see the trailer of Gerard’s latest movie called ‘Gods of Egypt’ and I already knew that I didn’t need to waste my life watching it. As I predicted, I was right. I always am.

After seeing Olympus Has Fallen, I was actually excited to see the next installment – London Has Fallen. I was hugely skeptical about the unimaginative name but I thought to myself, it can’t be bad, right? Wrong. It was so so bad.

Hi, my name is S and I wasted minutes of my life watching the failure that was Gerard Butler’s London Has Fallen. It was so so bad. The movie, I’d give a 2.9/10 but the annoying Nigerians who ran a really loud general commentary about the entire movie reduced my rating of the movie to about 2.6/10. I was so pissed when I left the cinema I made sure to scream curses at the movie audience who made the experience so shit.

Why was the movie so horrible?

  1. Everything happened too fast! The opening scene, we see Barkawi’s daughter’s wedding being bombed and all of a sudden it’s fast forwarded to two years ago. From the opening scene it was clear what the entire bloody movie was going to be about. There was zero suspense; it was a predictable movie with no plot twists.
  2. The dialogue in the movie was so weak, I was appalled by the lack of effort by the script writers. My 5-year old sister engages in more intriguing dialogue than what I saw in that movie. The jogging scene between Gerard and the President, Gerard and his wife, Gerard and Angela Bassett, Gerard and the immortal god (Morgan Freeman); it was all weak and dry like stale bread.
  3. The villain (Barkawi) wasn’t just a pussy, he will probably go down as the most un-intimidating and banal ‘bad guy’ in the history of movies. He was so meh… Like soggy rice. Nothing about him was scary or domineering; nothing about him seemed intellectually frightening. Even in his interaction with Morgan Freeman he didn’t seem convincing. He didn’t even possess that arrogant air of superiority that villains in action movies usually have. Barkawi’s son Kamran who beat up the President was equally BORING.
  4. The plot was daft. The movie was centered around the storyline that an important figure in the British government had died after some surgery, then centuries after is when it’s now discovered that the official hadn’t died on natural causes. This is lame because for someone that important, one of the due procedures is to make sure that there was no foul-play in his death. It initially seemed like the movie was about killing all the heads of state of the G8 (USA, Canada, France, USA, United Kingdom Germany, Italy, Japan) which they did, then mid-movie the directors decided to switch the focus to just the American President, what was that about?
  5. Yes, I get that Gerard Butler A.K.A Mike Banning is supposed to be invincible and whatever but that his killing spree was unrealistic and equally un-entertaining, they could have at least let him take a beating but no.
  6. They made the president of America, the president of – basically – the world look like a frightened cat; he was terrified to even pull a trigger. I assure you that Presidents are trained in self defense, not like the scaredy cat President Asher that was depicted in the movie.
  7. The portrayal of the British Police and Intelligence was so underwhelming, the scene where the British spy babe Jax spoke to one of her colleagues John Lancaster about there being a mole was daft too. When she accosts him in the underground parking and tells him to get on the floor because she realized he was the snitch was so retarded, if that’s what the directors thinks qualify as a plot twist, they need to get their asses back to the drawing board.

I could go on and on about how inexcusably flawed the movie was but I think I’ve successfully vented out my disappointment.

I love Gerard Butler, I really do but he needs to find a role that takes him to the next level in his career. My advice if you haven’t seen London Has Fallen is, DON’T!…. and for those who have, what did you think of it?

Image via Substream Magazine

Responses

  1. Akjesus
    You’re entitled to your own opinion and I’m sure you just said it.
    I’ve seen the movie and I beg to differ.
    The storyline was intriguing and I enjoyed it.
    My own opinion, that is
  2. Sagachristos
    I actually just saw it last week after all the hype and was equally confused and disappointed. It wasn’t bad though but definitely want all that either.
  3. Buchi
    I totally disagree with the post. I loved the first movie, went to watch the second one and I knew what I was going to see in the sequel. To that effect, I wasn’t disappointed. As Sequels (developed as an afterthought) go, it was in line with its mates.

    Also, the 2 years time Gap was necessary to the plot line because the attack did take a lot of planning and a lot of pieces needed to be put in place. London has fallen is a good movie. Not awesome, but not as bad as you said.

    Also, how many Gerard Butler movies have you seen? You’ve seen the Ugly truth right, or The Bounty Hunter? I’m sure there are much more I could list.

    I know it’s your opinion, but the vehemence you used in stating it seems like an attempt to ram it down our throats and make us accept it as gospel.

    1. Uyi
      My dear, I was about typing all these but you have helped me out. What is S saying? Like are u serious? It seems your personal resolve of Gerard butler is about him ‘failing as an actor’, wrong.

      I can only agree with your No. 7

      M

      Posted from TNC Mobile

  4. aisha
    Yes S, the movie was terrible! The action scenes though fairly interesting but haba! Butler didn’t even stain his starched white shirt.

    And the plane crash, where Butler and Basset were just taking their time to gist as if there wasn’t a team of terrorists after them? puh-leez. I’ll just go on to say Hollywood needs to give us a break from America-always-wins movies. We have tried.

    And of course the white president. And black VP? they shouldn’t patronize me.

  5. kikiotolu
    Please is it a movie…mor some nursery rhyme…london bridge is falling down.

    Okay. I am a monk. U can’t blame me.

    But honestly I only watch Mia Khalifa and Pamela Anderson

  6. Fran
    S, you say you left the cinema mid-way through the movie, so I’m going to assume you didn’t see it to the end. While I agree that the movie wasn’t great, it was really good. The dialogue was choppy, fast-paced and witty – so maybe YOU had a hard time catching up. Also the focus on the American president was because he was the ONLY one of the G8 presidents who survived the onslaught, so they needed to kill him – duh! Lol! Anyway, people please don’t be biased by S’ rather vitriolic review. The movie was good. 🙂
    1. S
      Oh! I left the cinema before the movie finished? Damn…. silly me.

      And yes, you are right. You see through me, I must have had a hard time catching up. Sorry that you know me better than I know myself.

  7. MissC
    I agree with all who say the movie was good. It wasn’t fantastic but it was good. And mind you they knew he was poisoned it just wasn’t public knowledge. I have no regrets whatsoever seeing that movie.
    , I think this race talk is becoming a little bit too cliche’. I’m honestly tired of seeing race talks in every platform. I’m sure if he was black and as scared as he was you’d say it’s cos he’s black that’s why they made him a wimp.

    Posted from TNC Mobile

  8. Tosin
    The way you started made me think you were super biased but, after reading, I kinda agree. The convos weren’t super.

    Also, when they said some important person died in the beginning, I knew there was some foul play. How did it take them so long to figure that out?

    Then, the mole in the british intelligence was like captain obvious. Come on.

    The villain too, he was weak and far from scary. How did they reach his sons so easily? His sons didn’t seem like the sons of a villain. They seemed like the houseboys of a villain that had just been brought in on what was going on.

    Lastly, maybe I would’ve enjoyed the movie more if Nigerians did not decide to show themselves. The commentary was ridiculous, stupid and disgusting. It seemed they were all out to be noticed that evening. I wished I had a cane and I could lie them all flat and give it to them. I had to change seats.

    Also, when the movie ended, I felt it shouldn’t have ended yet. Camman!!!!!! They should’ve given us more.

    That’s that.

  9. Tosin
    Oh, that’s not completely that. The villain’s son, the one in the wheelchair, dude was supercute!! What was that about? OMG
  10. Snow
    Lol. I expect the movie to be bad simply because it was highly unnecessary just like Fast and urois should have ended at the third installment.
    I dont see the unneccessary need for additional installments. I can almost see a “Berlin has fallen” or “Kremlin has fallen” coming up.
    Same way we don’t need an Avatar 2, but will they listen? They will just drag one story and twist it and overflog it till you become numb to it.

    P.S I’m gonna do a piece on how trashy Gods of Egypt was, I literally cried after watching the movie. it was painful.

    1. uyi
      Mr, have you checked the box office lately? I don’t know the authority you guys are on to, coming up with these ratings for top grossing movies.

      Need a link? Plz Google ‘us box office mojo’

      Posted from TNC Mobile

      1. thetoolsman
        But since when did the box office become standard for measuring anything but cinema earnings for movies? If a shitty remake like Jurassic World can top the box office for months then why should we look to it when judging quality of movies?
      2. S
        Loooool!
        Please humor me with this top grossing movies.
        Just because a movie made a shit tonne of money doesn’t make it a good one.
        I can name 10 crap movies that killed it at the box office.
    2. Chinedov
      I actually just thought of another sequel “BERLIN HAS FALLEN”.

      They wont do Kremlin because they’re not the best of friends.

  11. Dickson
    Lately; I have imposed an embargo on my visit to cinemas.
    First I watched Zoolander 2 and I could literally touch the boredom across the dark hall.
    Ben stiller & Owen Wilson need to be flogged in public.
    Then came gods of Egypt. I felt that mythologies cant go bland.
    How wrong!! Everything about the movie was shallow and poorly thought. No suspense. Recently; I realize there is a dearth of quality mythologies.
    The ones in the past were much Better than today’s. In the past, we had 300, Troy, Odyssey, Spartacus…But today; we have gods of Egypt….
    I’m grateful i havent seen London has fallen cos i knew it will be a poor repeat of white house down/Olympus has fallen .
  12. E
    My advice if you haven’t seen london has fallen…DON’T

    lolx…what were you all thinking when you went to watch d movie? London has fallen staring Mike banning,i expect it to be a floop or a repeat of what happened in olympus has falling.

    Happy watch though *smiles

  13. Olushola
    S, the irony is, you just promoted this movie. I now can’t wait till see it too. The best way to help people like us is to never mention the movie.
    If I may ask, why do producers always want to continue a movie?

    But you vex gan an ni o…

  14. butterflymind
    I was going to see the movie after i saw its trailer, but only because the name sound weird (couldn’t stop picturing London bridge falling). Now after this review, I confess i’m not so eager anymore… and not because you called it crappy. I just love my movie villains to be smart and badass.
  15. butterflymind
    Now will someone do a review of Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice ?

    You know how these guys make you wait 3yrs for a movie and then it turns out horrible. Please do an article for it. Tenks

        1. woyi_oc
          Well, my council of nerd friends said Batfleck was cool. The youtube channels I subscribe to ( screen junkies, ign, gamespot , Blacknerd etc) all said batfleck was cool. And since i grew up reading comics…Well…I’ll see for myself in a few days
    1. S
      My point exactly! The ferocity of a villain is part of what makes a good movie.

      Already begun my Dawn of Justice review, crying as I type.

  16. Od
    And they called me a harsh critic? S, you’re wicked, biko. Lol.

    It’s my typical reaction though that when I see a sequel I expect it to fail. It’s usually not planned, just some emergency effort to cash in on the popularity of the prequel. So, I’m not surprised especially if the prequel set a high bar.

    I haven’t seen the movie but honestly it was never on my “watch-list”. If I accidentally bumped into it, that’d be one thing but to go and sit and watch the London version of Olympus Has Fallen was too big a risk for me. But then I can be generous and find the experience passing fair.

    1. S
      Wicked?
      Not even.
      I simply have seen enough great movies to weed out mediocre ones and that’s what London has fallen was, Sub par and mediocre.
    1. butterflymind
      Noooooooooo!!

      Yeah all the reviews I read yesterday said as much. The movie sucked.

      The trailer really looked boring… honestly. I couldn’t make sense of what was happening or what to expect. But I liked seeing wonder woman though… I’m not sure about her role too though, but I’ll see a Wonder Woman movie if it comes.

      Basically if this movie was about introducing the DC universe, I probably an epic fail a la Justice League. If it’s an introduction to individual JL character movies, I’ll just do WW.

      I think the director, Zack Snyder has a record of making visually appealing movies with little narratives… it just makes you go, “What did I just watch?” when you’re through with it.

      Will give the movie a shot though coz Cavill is cute 😘 and WW is sexy and Fleck’s got cute puppy eyes. But only when I have 2.5hrs to waste.

      1. woyi_oc
        While that is true, I won’t blame him for this movie. I blame the story writers for trying to do what MARVEL did in 4-6 movies in 1 MOVIE. Ultimately Zack, doesn’t handle complex narratives well. especially when there are multiple story threads (300 part 2). The one movie I’m actually surprised he directed is WATCHMEN. I LOVED IT. And it’s probably because the script fr the movie was lifted straight from the graphic novels. My guess is if Snyder doesn’t have to THINK OF THE STORY and is just concerned with directing, He’ll do the best he can with the script he’s given.

        Another reason the movie might be so badly received is because the original movie was 3 hrs long. Zack had to cut it to 2.5hrs. But there’ll be a directors cut available later this year, so the willing will get to see how the movie was intended to be. The moment i saw the trailer, i knew there’d be too much shoe-horning.

        And yeah, i’d like to see what a stand alone Batfleck and WW movie will look like. WW movie’s dropping next year, by the way.

  17. isaa
    When A-list actors appear in “sub-par” projects. Then you start thinking about how much they were paid. The film did/is doing okay in the box office.. over hundred million dollars… it wasn’t a total disaster
  18. passerby
    Y’all need to calm down, the movie wasn’t crappy. I don’t know what your expectations for a sequel was but I absolutely loved it. I had no complaints for the president or Gerald butler,…. yes I expected it to be about the world leaders because hey, that’s what the name suggests, and I think most sequels have been trash and unnecessary with drumline 2 and Jurassic world holding the staff but the movie wasn’t that terrible. The villain happened to be pretty much just an arms dealer trying to avenge his daughter not like the koreans from the first part So I didn’t think he shudda been all scary and intimidating. Anyway, to each his own. PS: if you haven’t seen it you should…. and nothing should be compared to gods of Egypt please… lol, the trailer sef was a flop. I won’t even talk about divergent because shaileen wodley ruined it for me. She always looks like she’s crying and I just can’t deal … lol…. oh and, I’ve been waiting since last year for Batman Vs Superman, even if Ben Affect says it was bad, I’d still watch it.
    1. woyi_oc
      even if Ben Affect says it was bad, I’d still watch it**

      *fist bump/chop knuckle* I’m going to see it myself tomorrow. I know I’ll have complaints sha.

  19. Chinedov
    I just saw it last night.

    Was pushing it forward so I could download a crisp clear torrent to pre-watch. I got bored yesterday afternoon and just needed to do something else with my time.

    It wasn’t as bad as I expected. Could have been worse.

    S, you went there expecting them to better the prequel’s performance – something no other movie sequel has managed.

  20. Mariann
    I think you will only understand S if you are a movie lover and if you know how to distinguish between a good and great move. I reduced my cinema time by half last year, it seems to me like Hollywood is running out of ideas on what to act. Too many movies not making sense these days like Ant Man and a hot of other crappy movies that came out last year.
    I wont even bother watching this one.

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