Tye: Another week and another episode of Fan Centre!
Zubs: What a Bitter Sweet kind of weekend.
Unagi: I totally agree. While i was gnashing my teeth because no Aguero in my FPL, I was also out due to predictions on the other games.
Tye: Ehen? Guy when you go host boys na?
Unagi: At the next Full moon, the place where three roads become one.
Zubs: This guy wants to sacrifice us.
Tye: Abeg abeg e no fit scare me, we will meet there if e sure for you. Sha bring bar
Zubs: You’re on your own.
Unagi: But for real though, what were you doing this weekend if you didn’t have Aguero and Mendy in your FPL team?
Tye: I had Mendy but didn’t have Agüero, in short I went down deeper than borehole
Zubs: Can’t relate.. I had Aguero and capped him even.
Unagi: Ehn, even as you capped him you are still bottom of first page. Calm down.
Zubs: FPL is a marathon. The masquerade that dances first will be an onlooker for the rest of the show. – Poseidon BC.
Tye: He said Poseidon, cover your mouth
Tye: You obviously have a lot to cry about considering your club started the season with two Ls ????
Zubs: Lmao club should be renamed ArsenaLL
Unagi: starting a new era facing two of the top six back to back is not the easiest but I blame Aubameyang sha.
Tye: Those misses were criminal mehn, for a player usually so clinical.
Zubs: Amidst the gloom, a gem has been discovered in Guendouzi
Unagi: I wish you people can lay off his guy. He has been great for Arsenal but don’t start weighing him down with your expectations.
Tye: Yeah I agree, before una go use expectations kill am. Let him breathe first. But wait, ManYoo fan sef wan troll Arsenal? ????
Zubs: BREAKING – Tottenham Hotspur announce that Zubs has signed with the club as a fan on a long term deal ???? all United banter are to no longer be directed at Zubs, general public take note.
Unagi: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO no way. I have stapled this L on your forehead. Imagine Leon Balogun, our Oyinbo wall Debuting against united and giving them L.
Tye: E see chaos e wan japa no way bro, you will always be a United fan to us and our readers
Zubs: Ugh! Respect my choices please
Unagi: It was indeed a thrilling weekend. Liverpool lacklustre but still managed to win, Burnley lost at home, Madrid recorded lowest ever attendance at a home game, Newly promoted Nimes strongarming Lyon and Marseille.
Tye: I love European football
Zubs: Who doesn’t?!
Unagi: The Bundesliga returns this weekend and we take a look at our first game of the weekend. Bayern vs Hoffenheim.
Tye: I like Hoffenheim, I really do but I think Bayern will start the season with a win, 3-1
Zubs: It’s even a home game. Bayern will use Hoffenheim to do “Thank God it’s Friday”. 6-1.
Unagi: The EPL also returns with the first match pitting the defending champions against Newly Promoted Wolves. Any Shockers looming?
Tye: My heart wants it but my head is telling me to snap out of fantasies. Should be a high scoring match though, something in the range of 2-4 or 2-5
Zubs: Neves and Jimenez masterclass incoming, Wolves win 3-2
Unagi: Another London derby on our hands with both teams coming on the back of two Ls. Arsenal and West Ham.
Tye: Two teams desperate for their first points of this season but I expect Arsenal to transfer aggression to West Ham, 4-1
Zubs: You know.. If Arsenal should continue that cutback thing that was giving the blues heart failure, Arsenal can win 6-0 easily.
Unagi: I don’t know about 6:0 but i know our season just started.
Tye: I don’t see an Arsenal clean sheet though, Arnautovic must score for my FPL
Zubs: The man you capped last time. Massive L.
Unagi: Arnautovic ko.. Elsewhere we also have our Favorites for the EPL this season facing Brighton.
Tye: Ehm, I thought the favourites were playing Wolves?
Zubs: You cannot have two of the most expensive Back line in the world and expect not to be favorites.
Unagi: Don’t mind him. I feel Liverpool will blow Brighton away. They are not United and they don’t play cross and insha Allah.
Tye: Yen yen yen. Man City have the most expensive backline please, but we should sweep Brighton away. 5-0
Zubs: Alisson and VVD?! Okay. We agree to disagree.
Unagi: On Sunday we have a fixture that has given us great goals in the past. I’m sure you guys remember Papiss Cisse.
Zubs: Ah yes Newcastle – Chelsea, good memories. Expecting SarriBall L. 2-1 to Newcastle
Tye: I don’t see SarriBall losing, Newcastle have a very good record at home to Chelsea but SarriBall is a breaker of chains. 1-2 Chelsea instead
Unagi: And our last feature match of the game week.. United vs Spurs. I bet Zubs would have a problem with this one.
Zubs: The only problem I will have is if we do not beat United by at least 3
Tye: Lmao banter is loading for you either way my guy, just pray match ends in a draw, luckily for you that’s what I see. 1-1
Unagi: He said if “we” beat united. Awon wo ni we?
Zubs: What part of I just signed with Spurs don’t you blockheads understand?
Unagi: Transfer window closed since dear. I have this friend who signed with Swansea last year just to avoid Banter.. Na L.
Tye: Swansea? Are people that desperate to avoid banter? ????????????????????????
Zubs: I know someone who supports Everton. It’s a new age guys. I’m here for a good time not a park the bus time – Zubair 2018.
Unagi: Spoken like Prime Fraud Zubs. So who are we capping this weekend?
Tye: Used to be Salah/Agüero/Kane but Manè has somehow snuck himself into the equation. I’m sticking to Salah though, he’s due for double digit points.
Zubs – Kane has broken the August curse already so I should fancy him but Aubameyang. He has fired blanks for 2 GWs now and he’d want to prove why he starts ahead of Lacazette.
Unagi: I won’t reveal my cap. Tye is looking for who to dub and I’m not giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Tye: Imagine thinking I’m looking to dub from you. You delude yourself. But who are you capping sha?
Unagi: Salah/Aubameyang. I will make my final decision a minute to deadline.
Zubs: Sly guy, you still won’t win that 50k, sharing is caring
Unagi: Lmaoooooooo abeg. For those that want to like me, Here are our predictions.. Bournemouth vs Everton?
Unagi: Southampton – Leicester?
Unagi: Juventus – Lazio? Ororo gbera?
Tye: Definitely has to gbera, I was angry he didn’t score last week so hattrick on home debut. 4-1
Unagi: Napoli – Milan?
Unagi: Valladoid – Barcelona?
Tye: Barca are not what they used to be, if not for Messi ehn. But they should get past Valladolid 0-2.
- B – For the punters, 2nd half highest scoring half
Unagi: Girona – Madrid?
Zubs: Girona beat them last season, I see a repeat 2-1
Tye: I slightly tend to agree, but I will go for a 1-1 draw
Unagi: Watford – Crystal Palace?
Unagi: Finally, Dortmund – Leipzig.
Unagi: Let’s end with what we have learnt today.
Tye: Mourinho 3rd season syndrome may not be a myth afterall
Zubs: Unagi is a selfish, self conceited man. #NotMyMCM
Zubs: Guendouzi is going to be a star.
Unagi: Liverpool are favorites for the League.
Tye: Stop these premature ejaculations please
Unagi: The two of you will be alright.. Let me go and spend my
Tye: Guy wait for me I dey follow you!
Zubs: See y’all next week! Waiiittttt foorrrrr meeeee