I was going through my TNC dashboard one early morning when I saw one of those banner ads at the top of the screen. It read ‘Find a foreign husband’. L’aaaro kutu kutu! It’s not the first time I’ve seen a banner ad claiming to foster relationships, or talking about a dating site on this our TNC. I saw one about an Arabian dating site at some point with an ‘Arabian’ girl’s picture – abi our men want to move to Saudi ni? Please o, they are barely enough for us, so they should stay home abeg.
But why are they here, these ‘relationship’ sites? And why do they show up on my page? Are they trying to send me a message? Or is it someone else they are trying to talk to? I know that in marketing, before you choose to advertise on any platform, you’ve got to be sure that your target audience is on or will go to that platform. And for you to accept any advertising on your platform, at least beyond the money, you would to a large extent know whether or not it’s an ad that will do well, and you might even go the extra mile and choose not to accept anything that doesn’t fit with your brand or your values.
So, someone must think we (TNC community) are plenty single and that we are plenty lonely too, especially the women, as I am yet to see a ‘find a wife’ ad, unless that only shows on males’ pages. And we contributors don’t help either, because we talk too much about love in this place. Reminds me of Funmi O’s article about writer contributions where she was asking us to talk about something besides love. Well, Oops! Sorry Funmi. Here’s yet another article about love/relationships/man and woman tins. I couldn’t help it.
Whenever these ads come up, I find myself “unlooking”. Cos I don’t want to see it. It’s almost like someone took my mother’s voice and put it in the computer, so she can be reminding me that I’m not married, and that I haven’t brought a man home. Hmm, thou shalt not oppress the poor o. Or those that do not have (I’m sure that is said somewhere in the Bible, even if not in those exact words); because no condition is permanent. We ‘Have nots’ shall become ‘Haves’ one day. Hopefully, it won’t be by looting the present ‘Haves’ of their possessions.
Anyway, back to the matter. So the banner says ‘find a foreign husband’ and I’m wondering, are there no more husbands in Nigeria? Have they finished? Or is it a case of Nigerian men refusing to enrol for these ‘husband development’ programmes? Abi won ti yari pata pata? (Please a nice Yoruba person should translate). They don’t want to marry again? Or are the foreign men looking for Nigerian girls? Maybe their own girls have refused to marry them? Or Nigerian girls now want to be international wives? I won’t be surprised especially with this forex crunch. It would be great to ‘earn’ forex. Marrying a foreign man is just as good a job as any, but even better if you’re collecting your housekeeping allowance in dollars.
Now, beyond seeing these ads, I wonder if these advertisers get the ‘bang for their buck’. Do people click on these things? Research suggests that people click on one out of every 2000 facebook ads seen. And I read somewhere that you’re more likely to survive a plane crash than click on a banner ad (kinda sounds like me, I would never click a banner ad). If that’s the case, then why do these guys keep trying? For the tiny percentage that click?
If they (the few clickers) do, what’s it like? Do they get results? Are there any ‘success stories’? Please if you have clicked, use anonymous name if you must, but tell us what the experience was like. Is it about love or just finding a husband/girlfriend/partner? Are there horror stories? Stalker stories? Disaster date stories? I’m really curious about how they work (so much for ‘unlooking’ at the ad in the first place).
I know one (or two) oversabi person(s) will probably say in the comment box “MissO, why don’t you click to find out for yourself?” You know yourself. Please, I don’t want to see you here, you hear me? *pulling my right ear* I’ve already helped you write your comment, so no need.
I want to hear from those that have clicked. Why did you click? Did it work? Would you click again? (that’s assuming the first (few) clicks worked or didn’t work). And from those that have considered clicking. What stopped you, or why haven’t you? And from people like me who will never click. Why won’t you click? What are you (we) so afraid of? Me, I’m afraid of malware. Yes, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it (I won’t mention the unhealthy and debilitating fear of looking desperate, going online shopping for husband/boyfriend).
Go ahead and say something. You know you want to…