Why Do Good Girls Finish Last?

Opinion

The truth is everyone says and believes that being good pays and will always triumph over bad almost all the time. However, I have seen too many things that leave me wondering and questioning this general theory. I ran into an old course mate recently and that meeting triggered this rant! You see, this ex-course…

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The truth is everyone says and believes that being good pays and will always triumph over bad almost all the time. However, I have seen too many things that leave me wondering and questioning this general theory. I ran into an old course mate recently and that meeting triggered this rant!

You see, this ex-course mate was the typical ‘runs girl’ who was balling in school, hardly ever read and made class a no go area except for tests and exams. She was pretty and she knew it, she seemed to be enjoying her life and her circle of friends were just as hot and anywhere they went, they commanded attention. She did a lot of things that the ‘good girls’ saw as atrocities. From the surgery she had after a botched abortion to the anal stitching after Alhaji tore her ass up to the woman who came to beg, cry and rain curses on her for ruining her home.

Honestly, people were surprised she came out with her 3rd class and even graduated! Well, sugar daddy helped her with masters in the UK; she came back, got a good job, got married and from all appearances is doing pretty good with life! ‘Winning!’ right?

Now, about 3 of her friend with the same lifestyle back then are actually doing very well for themselves too. 2 are married and honestly, their husbands are legitimate business men, successful, serious gentlemen and well-travelled. I know people keep up appearances but I have to say these people look like they are having the time of their life in their marriages. I cannot lie, i had to wonder if all the ‘bedmatics’ these girls learned in school is one of the reason why these men look so happy! I mean, they must be getting the benefits of all the varieties these girls learnt from all those years of practice. It’s like having someone who makes egusi, okro, banga, white soup, Veggies, efo riro, afang in a week! That buttery talk about variety being the spice of life is on fleek while good girls are serving egusi all day of the week….*weeps*

I will not even talk of how many times ‘church’ was mentioned when I talked to one of my friend in this 2016, let us just say I had this look (O_O) through out! They are now undercover ‘good girls’!!

I was not anti-social in school so i basically got along with everyone but most of my friends were efikos (bookworms)/ religious and that kind of helped me stay grounded. These friends were not actually boring as one is made to think. They wore make up, jeans and some things that the brothers and sisters in school saw as sin. They were a bit social but just very focused. Of course, boyfriends or any kind of relationship was out of it for 4 years and I even joined them in that aspect mainly because my mom made me promise to focus on my studies. It was virgins till we married for us *I see your side eye*

My friends read hard and hardly ever played but were loyal to a fault. The only time they went to a club with me was when I deceived them that we were going for a night vigil. Thinking back now, seeing how they stood out in their cardigan and jeans…lol, maybe I should not have done that! Why am I saying all these? Well, just to give an idea of how disciplined they were.

Naturally, one got the 1. 5 CGPA and another 2.1 CGPA, departmental awards and some nice gifts at graduation. Now, first class got married after one brother deceived her with ‘just the tip’ story and got her pregnant. They are now married and are just average, nothing fantastic there as they were never really in love to start with. The other got married to a guy that seemed meek, quiet and loved her to bits! Well, after a year of beatings and infidelity right in her face, she left the union and is a clerk in some company even with her 2.1 o! SMH.

Me? Fortunately, I have a decent job, pretty comfortable and happy in my relationship but as you can tell, I was not the most ‘good girl’’ of the clique. *SIGH*.

Now, some people will say these instances are isolated but I have several, this is just one I can actually recall. I am sure people have several of these stories too; We have people who are wanted outside the country but are politicians today, people accused of credit card frauds outside this country are running big businesses in naija from the proceeds of fraud while those that left this country to get their Masters and PhDs, and all the ‘I just got back’ are working for them or have no jobs! Having an Aristo is now the new hustle and not something to be ashamed of, some people actually see you as smart if you can snag one! LOL! It is even said ‘good girls’ want the ‘bad guys’, so you see, the ‘good boy’ is not even winning!

I am not saying being ‘bad’ automatically means you will end up well and neither does being ‘good’ mean you will fail. I just sometimes feel the balance is not fair to the people trying to do things in the right and honest way. Why can’t the good win all the time like we see in the Hero Vs Villain movies that abound?

I am beginning to think the reward for being a ‘good girl’ or ‘good boy’ is in Heaven! Please tell me I’m wrong.

Responses

  1. vanilla
    looks like i mixed up all the CGPA thing… basically 1. 5 CGPA and another 2.1 CGPA shld have been CGPA 4.7+ and CGPA3.6+ = first class and 2nd class upper!

    phew….sorry!

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  2. MIA
    My dear you are not the only one. All the runs girls I knew back in school are married to guys doing well and having the time of their lives if you go by what is posted on SM. Plus they have all found Christ. And the good girls are doing just okay. No extra anything just okay.
    1+
  3. Twisted
    you should have seen my face when i read that line. i instantly came up with the conclusion that you didnt school here in naija.
    That said, Guurrrl! you lie not!
    some bad girls are really balling o! with kids, a good husband that can tolerate sh** and a super job or business.
    The crazy part that makes really laugh is how they become automatically good when they get these things…and i’m like “huh? how is this fair naa?”
    Then the goody two shoes end up managing and struggling and crazy stuff like that…
    Minus the Born again in me that’s quick to remind me that I shouldn’t be envious of the “supposedly”great things unbelievers have (not that im saying they are all unbelievers o!), Omo! bone! the whole thing can pain sha!!! LOL
    I attended Babcock and i wont lie some girls did crazy paroles. No thanks to OSU boys…Imagine my shock when i saw one of the queens of paroles on Instagram. Running her successful business and …get this… VERY MARRIED to one of the magas. they’ve been married for 5 years 😐
    It is well with them jo.
    I can only be happy / worried about myself and what makes me sleep well at night.
    If paroles didnt cut it then, it wouldnt cut it now.
    Plus i’m not passing judgement jo!
    4+
  4. Exclusive
    You sometimes think the balance is not fair. Honestly, maybe it isn’t always.

    Then again, a runs girl was not necessarily a bad human being. In the choice of who to spend the rest of your life with, you weigh the pros and cons. Maybe even with their “spotty” past, they have a helluva decent pros. In the end, we all choose the ‘evil’ we can live with in another.

    Personally, I’m more than a little skeptical of social media senreres. Some people are so on fleek there you would never believe the bullshit they muddle through in their daily lives.

    I think the trick might be the fact most ‘bad girls’ are usually daring. They will flip their hair in the face of life and demand to be heard. Demand, not ask. Usually, they rebel at conformity and are their own persons. Those are great ingredients for having the life you want.

    Anyway, “good girls” also end up with their dream lives. The trick is to be good enough that you’ll remain true to yourself and your values whilst ensuring you’re wringing the experience of living for all its worth.

    People who dare to live are usually the ones that get the dividend from it.

    14+
  5. Optimus Prime
    It’s a no brainer……Good girls(and nice boys) will always finish last. The saying “good things come to those who wait” is just one half of the sentence. The other half is “better things come to those who chase”.

    The good girl waits and hopes fate deals her a good hand. The bad girl chases and goes for what she wants. The bad girl is already few steps ahead even before the race has started.

    How won’t the bad girl finish first?

    13+
  6. G B
    I used to be ‘good’ boy. I’m not anymore. Not in that sense.
    I found that for me, being ‘good’ was all about telling myself a lot of ‘lies’, justifying my passivity and general blandness. There was literally nothing interesting about me for anyone to see because I never let any of the “crazy” stuff out.
    I kinda came to realise that, as some guys here have said, life rewards the go-getters, those who take risks and actually matter (that is, they have weight, occupy space and will put it in your face), those who are not afraid of making splashes when they are tossed in a pool. It seems silly but I’m convinced that the same ‘strength’ it takes to, say, kiss a girl is the same as or similar to that which makes you able to close deals or start a blog, maybe a business. Not too much dilly-dallying about or praying, or whatever. Just do-ing.
    Good girls are even worse off because, well, they’re women. Women are dealt a worse hand in these matters, in general, I believe. There’s always someone telling a woman not to get things or do stuff so she won’t be intimidating and men can approach her, or something. ‘Good’ girls might be more inclined to listen.
    16+
  7. Ariella
    Funny enough I’ve been asking this same question a lot lately, and I’ve come to the conclusion that all that glitters isn’t necessarily gold, most often than not it is simply gold-coated.
    And the whole good-bad girl thingy, I think the ‘good girls’ maybe taking it a little too overboard. Being good doesn’t mean u shld be “not-sharp”, or u should be lazy, or settle for less, not at all. The ‘bad ones’ know what they want and ‘work hard’ to get it, what is stopping u from doing the same, especially since it is legit???
    3+
  8. Abi Sanni
    LOL! If we start to talk, we no go finish. I think the problem with very typical “good” girls is that they do not shine their eyes well well. lol. They live in a box and are not willing to open their minds to see how to use what is out there to their advantage. Yes, and while holding themselves in their moral high. like you said, there is no balance.
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  9. tayo
    I don’t think it’s about being good or bad. The world, Nigeria especially is a place of shortcuts and to beat the system you have to be book smart and street smart. Emphasis on being street smart.
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  10. Kratos
    .B

    Very correct mate.

    most people paint their passivity as goodness. Wait, what makes someone good on the first place? Even Jesus said no one is good except the father and that’s Jesus ooo.

    from someone who has played both sides I’ll have to admit that most good people are good by their standards. most are judgmental and believe that life should reward them for their “good” works.

    fact is like Guatama Buddha said “the middle way is the key”. Balance is everything.

    4+
  11. Larz
    Popular girls are most likely to want to put up a successful front afterall they have a reputation to uphold.

    The sister of a family friend used to come stay with us in London. On SM she seems really awesome and had a couple of make frns we suspected she was sleeping with. Even when she came here, she was always balling.

    A few years ago, I went to visit her and realised she was definitely not living on the level she portrayed.

    Her husband seems to be a little nerd that lets her get away with any and everything. It also seems she earns more than him and calls the shots. In addition to her London bfs, the way she spoke of her bosses at work makes you wonder. How do I know this, well she thinks I am cool enough (single outgoing girl who is definitely no goodie two shoes).

    Trust me, until you are close enough to them to see for yourself, don’t assume that those shiny things paraded in front of you are gold.

    1+
  12. Brenda girl
    Yes.true talk laz!Yes,until you get close to them you may never realize that their lives isn’t all that nice.same in school,you’d see girls who would only have to pay in money or offer their bodies for one night to get good grades while you’ll be there cramming calculus and thermodynamics. The world isn’t fair we know but two wrongs will never make a right and nature has a way of repaying everyone with their own coin,all that glitters isn’t gold.
    1+
  13. Heuy
    I don’t agree totally with the ‘go-getting ‘ or ‘chasing’ characteristic bad girls are associated with … I know many good girls who go for whatever they want … But they won’t do ANYTHING to get it …. They won’t .. Err.. Bend to demands .. Not just bedmatics, but marrying him just for his money .. Forget character.
    Then again , experience and exposure has made bad girls excellent judges of character and so they know to pick husbands, unlike the ‘good’ girls.

    On social media .. Forget that Abeg. We all have our struggles .. Who puts up bad news about themselves when trips abroad and happy family pics are available?

    your narrative makes me think your friends were closeted .. And antisocial. Hence they didn’t explore their preferences in the opposite sex and consequently made bad marriage choices.

    I know good confident girls that have boyfriends through school.. Maintained their relationships and have helped the ‘finically okay guy’ build his empire and have happy homes too. Many of them. Except that they don’t hang thier happiest life photos for half the free world to see on SM.

    I know good boys that looked bookish back then … Worked thier asses off through school , had girlfriends.. And longbottomed hard in life.

    2+
  14. Zizi
    allow me go a little spiritual here; I have asked myself this question severally too and seeing it here, I had to ask God the same question….(yes, I talk to God about absolutely everything) and He told me this…”the minute you saw/thought yourself better than the “bad girls” they became better than you”. That is because I had consciously but subtly passed judgement on them. A lot of the “good” people we see and know, including ourselves most times, are kinda judgemental. We seem to know the end of the bad eggs, but we don’t know shit. That’s the truth.
    4+
    1. Butterflymind
      I agree with this. By passing judgement on them, we consider ourselves better and expect that God will make us prosperous for the wrong reasons.
      I’ve had to make conscious efforts to guard my thoughts and motives when asking God for certain things.
      If the heart is wrong, then the prayers won’t work for you.
      All our prayers for prosperity should be to glorify God and not ourselves.

      Besides, God is merciful and we all have different stories and journeys. He knows what’s best for everyone and reaches us all in different ways.

      1+
  15. Hephie Brown
    Good girl Bad girl Saga.. For weeks now I have been getting “wake-up” calls from friends, married friends, that I should explore life a little and be a bad girl. They say I’m too frigid and boring and normal, I’m too young to be that way. Why struggle so much hephie? One thinks I should drink a lot, wear slutty dresses, go clubbing every friday, maybe smoke, have premarital sex with multiple men, fulfill all and any sexual fantasies I may have. One suggests that one boyfriend is fine, absolutely fine, I dont have to do all these. I just need a rich alhaji on the side, a married man to take care of all the needs my single and upcoming, filled with prospects boyfriend cannot provide. Why am I dulling myself? Just one married man.

    Also, “Runz” has levels. You may stand on the street, you may go home with different guys friday nights, you may have multiple boyfys who have money and fall for all your “i need money” schemes, a married man somewhere, an alhaji perhaps, you may just be a randy fellow who gets financial gains from the people you sleep with, its called “postpaid”.
    Good girl simply means you have one boyfriend, a job, you dont smoke, you dont club everytime, you dont dress like a slut. Every other thing, you’re bad. #society

    No one’s life is perfect, no one has it all, not bad girls or good girls, but don’t tell me that they put fake stuff on SM, so do we! But they have the basics society demands, they are married, they have money, go on holidays, they live comfortably! Husband beating is not limited to good girl bad girl, cheating isnt either!

    Yes, good people finish last, and i am done with feeling bad about it. it’s called being self righteous. no more. I will pick my struggle and just ride it out. ok, im done, *drinks chilled water*

    3+
  16. Exclusive
    Bhet I’m curious, why do a lot of people automatically refer to an Alhaji when talking about sugar daddies?

    It’s like a popular trend, and I’m just wondering what the rationale behind it is.

    1+
    1. Hephie Brown
      Well in the past(i think) they were the main sugar daddies aand sponsors cos its easy for them to have 2 wives or 10 and get away with it… That has changed but well..it’s just like how girls can’t stop saying “weave-on”.
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